Selene Gregoire
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Posts posted by Selene Gregoire
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11 minutes ago, Ivanova Shostakovich said:
Don't they have scads of money to give away?
My Nigerian prince keeps promising me millions of dollars.
And then there are the "cops" and "lawyers" and "investigators" who try to claim they are going to put me in jail for debts owed. Debts I never owed to begin with, on top of the fact that in the US you can't be jailed for debt without being first sentenced to serve time by a court judge in a courtroom.
I wish they would make up my mind so I'd know if I'm filthy rich or dirt poor.
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24 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:
The third comment ... well, maybe hostile, but it looks more like a defensive reaction to me. If I have been hurt in the past, I will certainly see "red flags" and shut down in a heartbeat. That's seems pretty normal to me.
Exactly. Thank you.
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27 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:
"If you approach me in IMs for the first time, I am going to assume you want to say things you don't want other people hearing, which immediately sets off my red flags and I will shut you down in a heartbeat and likely not very kindly."
Not sure what else you call this but outright hostility towards IMs.
Those are my words and they were not hostile in the least. You chose to take it as being hostile by reading far more into it than what is actually there.
All too often people read other's posts using their own "voice" and giving emphasis and emotions to the words of another that simply do not exist.
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31 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:
Yeah ^that
IMs aren't always a preconceived pants portal, unless you're hanging out places where such actually is (most places aren't, ftr). I promise you, there isn't anyone in sl who is so important than anyone and everyone that sends them an IM, no matter the subject, wants to sleep with them.
Hearing people say that just makes me feel even less inclined to talk to anyone I don't already know, ever -because...ugh, why the hell do I want people thinking that about me? I assure you....if I send you an IM, even if I really, really, really, really like you, or you're a really, really, really nice person...I don't want to sleep with you, ever. (I have no idea why that notion actually made me mad, but it did).
Had to take some words outta that text
No, I don't "hang out in places like that" and I still get those out of the blue IMs that 999 out of 1000 are some random guy looking for pixel bumping. Standing on my own parcel in a private region and no one else is on the region. Nor do I belong to any of the "pixel sex" groups that exist. I never have. I'm not in SL for sex. Never have been and never will be.
Point being it doesn't matter where you hang out or what your groups are, there are still those who think it's ok to IM someone out of the blue when it really is not ok by any stretch of the imagination. Don't even get me started on the ones who go through a store group's membership list and IM all the female avatars just to proposition them.
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8 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Jace, I'm actually really sorry that you don't get IMs from women. And I'm even more sorry that you are worried that simple, friendly approaches to women are likely to be misconstrued. It's not much consolation that there are reasons for both of those phenomenon, having to do with the way that men and women are socialized differently. Either way, it sucks. I wish it weren't so.
It's not surprising really when you consider how often a woman is raped in the US alone (one every 2 minutes or so).
QuoteOn average, there are 433,648 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.
Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.
As of 1998, an estimated 17.7 million American women had been victims of attempted or completed rape.
And there is more:
QuoteSexual violence also affects victims’ relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers.
- 38% of victims of sexual violence experience work or school problems, which can include significant problems with a boss, coworker, or peer.
- 37% experience family/friend problems, including getting into arguments more frequently than before, not feeling able to trust their family/friends, or not feeling as close to them as before the crime.
- 84% of survivors who were victimized by an intimate partner experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.
- 79% of survivors who were victimized by a family member, close friend or acquaintance experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.
- 67% of survivors who were victimized by a stranger experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Yes, it sucks that the younger male generations have to deal with the fallout from privileged white males ruling society but think of how much more it sucks for those of us who have to live with it on a daily basis because we are not male or white or privileged. Does it make me fighting mad? You're damn right it does. Livid, white hot anger that would destroy the world if it were to ever be released.
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29 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:
Caer's description here in most ways nicely summarizes what I had in mind when I talked about a sort of paradigm shift in the way in which we use local and IM to connect to people. For certainly my first 3 or 4 years in SL, the way it most often seemed to work, at least in the circles within which I moved, was that one moved to IM, where appropriate, after one had engaged, at a much more general and public level, with the larger community (at a club, or social hangout, or store, or whatever). It's not that I dislike IMs -- they are a tool that have a really important and absolutely necessary function -- but rather that that function has changed.
The older way sequence of connecting, from local to IM, made sense to me, and was (and still is) more comfortable. When someone who has been participating in local IMs me, I already have at least some sense of who they, what they are like, what their communication style is, and so forth. And they are presumably IMing me (if they initiated) because something I've said in public interests, or maybe triggers them.
The analogy of "whispering in someone's ear," or speaking in a lower voice, is reasonable, except when that is how first contact is initiated. Imagine yourself in a crowded bar: someone you've heard nothing from, nor had any previous engagement with, comes up to you and whispers in your ear. Or even sits next to you and moves close enough to you that you can hear them speaking in a non-public voice.
That is the way that a cold IM feels to me. Intrusive, uninvited, presumptuous, and maybe even a tiny bit alarming.
Ultimately, this isn't about IM vs. local, nor is it about "good" vs. "bad": we've heard from people here who have apparently always relied on IMs because that is what they are comfortable with, and from a few others who don't even seem to see much of a difference between the two. What it is about is the impact that this shift might have had on sociability in SL.
All of the above. The bolded part is what sets off the red flags. That is exactly what it feels like when someone I don't know IMs me out of the blue.
QuoteTo me (but evidently not, I'll concede, to everyone here) the leap straight to IM that seems more common these days represents a kind of loss: a loss of community engagement and sociability, as well as, to some extent at least, a kind of intrusion on my personal space. What I'm not hearing is what is gained by skipping local and proceeding directly to a "cold" IM. What are the advantages of this?
There aren't any advantages that I can see but plenty of disadvantages.
I know etiquette changes over the decades but that doesn't excuse the rudeness of people cold IMing someone they don't know. Does it never occur to anyone that the polite (correct) thing to do is ask the person in open chat if it is ok to IM them? I'm not talking about PC here. I'm talking about good old fashioned manners that parents are supposed to teach their children but apparently no longer bother to do so. If you can't be bothered to use good manners, I can't be bothered to deal with you, much less want to be your friend.
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39 minutes ago, Caerolle Llewellyn said:
part of the reason I DM people is desperation, lol
So that's what DM stands for, Desperation Messaging.
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3 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:
The outright hostility to an IM some have shown in this thread
Where?
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On 10/16/2019 at 3:58 PM, anniepany said:
Bolded: I think one reason people insist on IM's is because they want to have a log of what is said. That's been my experience because I've ask them to speak in local and that's the response I've gotten. For a business I can understand but if it's just chatting, I much prefer local chat unless I'm talking with my guy then I enjoy the private time together
Doesn't make a bit of sense to me, since local can be logged. All chat in SL can be logged... local, shouted, whispered, IMs, group... all of it can be logged. I've been logging it all since 2005. And even then, logs can be faked very easily. Good thing LL logs everything so they can tell when someone has altered or completely faked a chat log. Timestamps just makes it easier and quicker for them to find the pertinent logs.
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On 10/16/2019 at 1:09 PM, Ren Toxx said:
Or “this place is dead”, or “full of bots”, or “how boring!”, or... yeah. I actively refrain from engaging all the whiners who basically expect the rest of SL to be there for the sole purpose of entertainment, and on keen watch to start talking—no matter what about—the very second they arrive... lest we disappoint them!
(Funnily enough, a lot of them remain exactly as silent and as unwilling to start a conversation themselves, and only usually drop a disparaging comment right before a ragequit).
<insert appropriate verbage here>
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On 10/16/2019 at 9:37 AM, Scylla Rhiadra said:
If I'm right, and there has been a sea change in how we socialize (generally) in SL, does that reflect a shift in how we do so in RL? Or merely a shift in the social function of SL?
The shift in RL happened before the one in SL. SL reflects the changes in RL after the fact.
When SL was the "new frontier", most residents used local before ever jumping into IMs. IMs were reserved for things that you didn't want just anyone over hearing. Gossip, intimacy... all those things that call for privacy. Hence the original term of Private Messages (PMs, not to be confused with PMS).
For me, that has not changed, nor will it. If you approach me in IMs for the first time, I am going to assume you want to say things you don't want other people hearing, which immediately sets off my red flags and I will shut you down in a heartbeat and likely not very kindly. I'm a rape survivor. Deal with it or stay away from me is how I feel about it. What I want and need are friends. The close kind, not the sex buddy kind. The friends that are so close they "might as well be family" friends. The ones who are there for you no matter what. The sort that don't just take his word that it's ok with me if you hop in the sack with him. Then there are the ones who accept you as you are...
Been looking for those kinds of friends for 60 years. Haven't found any yet. I don't think they exist any more, for me.
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9 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR MEEEEEE!!!!
Nah. They just can't figure out what accelerant you've been using so they baited a trap.
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3 hours ago, Pussycat Catnap said:
Deleted the folders, AND emptied the trash?
If on a windows machine - frequently open up the start menu and type in 'disk' - then open the app that pops in called 'Disk Cleanup' - it will find other things that need to be dealt with. I just got back '612mb' on my C drive that "is only used to hold Windows itself and not apps" running that... so... it ain't only holding what I told it to only hold...
I then got 27gb back on my D drive that holds apps and apparently... a LOT of clutter...
And when you are done running cleanup, time to run defrag.
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14 hours ago, fredfredmurder said:
So I downloaded SL. it took up a few Gbs. Later I uninstalled it, but was still left with 4 less GBs then i originally had. any idea as to what's going on?
Chat logs. Settings.
On the other hand, there's no way SL would take up that many GBs. FS viewer takes up only 400 MBs and it has way more bells and whistles than the LL viewer.
Maybe tone down the pron dialers a bit.
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I am a preverted prevert.
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I see I missed all the drama.
Again.
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9 hours ago, Solar Legion said:
If the machine itself was a laptop.... MAC ban is still on the table.
You have a point. Another one would be account bans. Like how LL can suspend/ban people from the forum but not SL itself and vice versa. They don't do that by IP or MAC. That is done on a per account basis and if you have more than one, LL will know. If you do something that really ticks LL off they can pick and choose what accounts to ban. Usually it's either the one you (general) messed up on or all. Every now and then LL misses getting all of the accounts but usually the person gives themselves away and "poof", gone again.
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1 hour ago, Tarina Sewell said:
Are you speaking for her?
Nope. She's said it herself.
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2 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:
I'm not sure how these people are going about stripping our clothes off (on their viewer; we appear normal elsewhere).
In FS you can derender mesh clothing. They are attachments, after all. It's why I always use either the underwear applier that comes with the Lara body or I alpha certain body parts out. Sometimes it's just easier to alpha out most of the body, if not all, depending on what you are wearing.
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3 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:
@Whirly Fizzle is a guru, tho. Nothing gets past her.
Yes, she is, but, even she will tell you she doesn't know everything there is to know about SL. That's one reason why the support team does have some direct communication with the devs. Who in turn have some direct communication with LL devs. So, questions can usually be answered, just not always quickly.
The fun part is when you ask a question and not even the Lindens know the answer.
If you go digging around in the names listed as part of the team (both past and present) in the FS viewer, you'll see my name listed. I worked with Whirlz for more than 5 years. Poor thing. I probably drove her nuts with my questions and rock diving.
/me dives back under her rock, leaving a cuppa behind for Whirlz. ☕
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3 hours ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:
"... But you know what? I didn't die. I landed on an internet doomsayer and it died. But this time around it was different. This time I did want a pickle. It's in Bellisaria."
(Apologies to Arlo)
I don't want a pickle.
Just wanna ride on my motor-sickle
And I don't wanna die...
Just wanna ride on my motor-sigh.
~The Motorcycle Song, Arlo Guthrie, Alice's Restaurant Massacre
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12 minutes ago, MissBegotten said:
Lag doesn't jerk you across a sim and plant you someplace.
Rubberbanding can and does. That's why it is called rubberbanding and the cause is lag. Been that way for 16 years.
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9 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:
Here is a link about lag:
The same link I posted 3 posts above yours. lol
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I... am addicted to creating and building.
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Public Chat or IM? Has a Culture Shift in SL Made It Harder to Meet People?
in General Discussion Forum
Posted
They usually do if an owner or mod happens to be on. I've never seen a case where they weren't.