Luna Bliss

I think you're a perfect example of wisdom occurring @ a younger age, and proof that we should not automatically accept that older people are the wiser ones. In other words, saying "hey join this community, it's better because we're older and wiser" just doesn't fly.

He was funny. I'm really getting a kick out of all the unique characters @ Fantasy Fairre.

Play Time

Yeah the good things don't come quickly here, that's for sure. You often have to wait to see results, unlike many other virtual reality environments.

What facts am I changing, Luna? I said that dopamine makes people feel good and that a dopamine high can be addictive. My point was that just because an activity feels good, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's healthy or that it increases one's resilience to stress. I also get irritated by how you act like your views and practices are always right, always the best. No one is always right or always the best. That's narcissism. Even if you dress it up with pretty rainbows and new age psychobabble, it's still narcissism. You're taking what I said out of context and adding addiction psychobabble. I was advocating that people do what feels good in SL in order to build resiliency. I think you're forgetting the "in order to build resiliency" part. How could getting drunk or engaging in addictive behavior further resiliency? It can't, because it's self-destructive behavior - it's escapism and takes people down a long, dark path -- totally opposite from resiliency. Of course, yes, it's not good to run your life on dopamine highs. But again, this is not what I ever meant so there was no need to point that out! It's not "narcissism" to point out that you misinterpreted me.

You know darn well that I'm not dismissing Science. I'm simply pointing out that Science (including soft the sciences such as psychology) is dynamic. There are very few absolutes in psychology. It's a relatively new science with constantly evolving theories. Trying to make sense of human behavior is also not as simple as proving the Earth is round(ish) or that light has properties of both a wave and particles. Every addict I have ever known has been miserable, felt out of control, and fervently wished they could have their life back again. I don't even need Science to know addicts are not happy people. Why you are trying to change these facts because you don't totally trust soft Science is beyond the pale. This is the last I'm speaking about addiction, griefers, and stalkers. If you really want to talk about addicts and other self-destructive people in SL so much it would be nice if you started your own thread. This thread was supposed to be about positive attributes of SL we engage in and want to share with others, and noting how we're better for it.

Some adolescents grief a lot, cause trouble -- it's almost expected of them. But it's because they actually don't feel empowered as they try to move into adulthood...they're in pain. They think it's fun to punish others for the pain they believe the world is causing them. Unfortunately too many never leave adolescence emotionally. My friend who is being stalked by this guy because she broke up with him...for like a decade. He's emotionally ill, can't let go, and only wants to punish her now. What someone is in RL usually manifests in SL, whether they consider it a game or not. But we're going off-topic here. I don't want to process the worlds of griefers and stalkers anymore. As I said, I want to focus on the positive aspects of SL.

Me....go off-topic? Never! I'm just adding greater detail and depth...lol.

Things change over time. That's true. I tend to read studies -- studies that control for variables well so are more likely to be true. To dismiss Science completely because it changes when new information comes out, or become some of it is false having not been done correctly, is short-sighted on your part.

Persephone...really? It's not narcissism to believe we actually DO have some healthy ways to build resiliency in SL and request that others reveal those. This is how we learn from others...learn what's in SL that is good for us. Why the two of you (or three) have gotten off on this addiction kick is beyond me. I was not, nor would I ever, propose that people become addicts in SL! Yes, my views are right...yes! -- my views are that I want people to enjoy SL in a healthy way, and for us to talk about it on this thread. If you like to experience addiction that's fine...but it's not what I ever wanted to advocate here.

You again, are discrediting people's responses and attempting to make people post what you want and the way you want. That's not how forums work. I set the topic -- please read my opening paragraph. People need to stick to the topic. The topic is, how do we utilize SL to cope with stresses (building resiliency in the process). Do you think Kipling was wanting people to know how to be griefers and stalkers with his poem? lol

I would disagree with you. A griefer in SL usually does it for fun and games. It's only negative to the one being griefed if they see it that way. YOU might read up on that. A person who chooses to bother others (griefing or stalking), manifesting discord and destruction in the world as opposed to behaving in a constructive manner, is unhealthy. From what I've read about their psychological make up they lack purpose due to believing they can't fulfill positive life goals. Often they've felt thwarted in some way and don't know how to deal with that pain, so they act out in a destructive manner, often punishing people they think are responsible for their pain (even symbolically, as often the person in the present they punish is a stand-in for someone who hurt them in the past).

No, not everything that makes one feel good in SL increases resiliency. I suggested earlier having a drink or edible while playing in SL, but having several drinks everytime one goes into SL might be a sign of alcoholism. Some people on this forum seem to enjoy acting negative and insulting others. This probably makes them feel good in the short term, but it's not an ideal way of coping with life's stresses. Some people feel good in by shopping in SL, but if this hobby costs them several hundreds of dollars each month, that may be a sign of a shopping addiction. As has been suggested elsewhere on the forums, RL gambling and sex addictions have SL versions that can also be damaging. I'm not, nor have I ever been, talking about addictive behavior. I'm speaking to healthy ways of feeling good in the world -- finding joy in various pursuits, relaxing when needed, taking care of oneself, getting support from other healthy friends -- all this can be found in SL. What I've described has nothing to do with addictive behaviors or those who utilize negative types of defenses that might relieve pain in the present but end up being harmful. And I'd never say people feel 'good' when utilizing a negative defense -- I'd say they feel a relief...they've escaped some pain. But that's not feeling good...it's escapism. But in any case, again, I want to know the ways people utilize SL in healthy ways (so this doesn't include being an addict, a griefer, or a troll). What next, are we going to validate serial killers and stalkers here? lol

You have no idea what I know. Maybe researching emotional maturity could be part of your learning. You could help build resilience in others by working on the arrogance used to try to convince others that your views are the only correct ones. That is if you truly are in SL to help others find ways that work for them. Your chanting and praying only help you. Hanging out in SL with people who don't think like you might also help you discover that there are a lot of happy ways to cope that would never work for you, but are just as valid. Instead of thinking that a book you read has all the answers for everyone you could grow in your views... which builds resilience. If you think being a griefer and a troll is a healthy way to exist in SL...if you think destructive types of defenses actually benefit a person in the long run...then I do know what you know (or don't know). I hang out with lots of people who are different than me, and I accept them. What I won't accept is somebody advocating hurtful behaviors for others on a public forum (as you're doing here). It's quite odd that, after I didn't accept your suggestion, you begin to trash me totally and paint me with a wide brush. That's not a good way of debating, Cinnamon. It's shady. If you think your theory is right, just say it, and let me agree or disagree the same as everybody else has been expressing on this thread. Totally trashing another and saying they NEVER agree with anyone based on my not finding your suggestion worthwhile is a distortion and an unfair way to argue a point. Bringing up my praying and chanting is even more out of bounds.

They are only negative to you. Bullies get rewards for their behavior. So do griefers and trolls. If there was no emotional reward, it wouldn't be fun. You have said over and over and over that resiliency is just what you do for fun. Unless you meant only what you do for fun counts. Your personal view of what is positive and what is negative is only yours. I consider many of your posts to be quite negative. They dismiss every other comment that is not 100% in agreement with your opinions. If not dismissed, then you tell the person they misunderstood the words you typed out. I feel that is a very negative pattern to have in SL or RL. Thinking that only your way of life is the correct one for everyone else (anyone who disagrees with you is sick, or not emotionally healthy) is a very destructive energy to send out into SL. It's divisive here on the forums as well. There are a lot of ways to live a healthy second life. Look beyond yours. You can be super proud of how healthy you think you are, but true health and understanding comes from knowing your views are not right for someone else. That is not only emotional health, but emotional maturity. SL needs more emotional maturity. It's difficult to discuss this with you because you'd need to understand the long-term effects of destructive types of defenses. It's not a matter of me only accepting what I think should be -- it's what psychology says according to much research. Go research it if you want to know more (types of psychological defenses and their effects)...not in the mood to explain it further. I've agreed with those I think have good suggestions for resiliency (there were quite a few amidst the posts trying to distract) and disagreed with those I think have suggestions that won't work........same as everybody else has on this thread. *Unbelievable...you're trying to discredit me because I don't accept that being a griefer or a troll is a healthy way to exist in SL?

Somebody suggested joining a group of people to increase resiliency, a group of people who are wiser because they're older. Just no. Always take a close look at the individual people and don't assume older is better:

A griefer does not have healthy self-esteem though, so no resiliency would be built. You might read up on positive vs negative coping mechanisms. Negative ones don't further self-growth -- they do the opposite.

The Moon Queen made a disparaging comment about the Lion King here, and she is being severely punished by his subjects. That's all. Drama here, drama there, drama everywhere... Please address me correctly, Jay -- I am the Moon Goddess....

Feel good? That's kind of a low bar. Virtually everything meets that criterion. If it didn't, I'd log out and do RL stuff (which I probably ought to be doing anyway). I mean, gee.... why would I voluntarily keep logging into the place for over 17 years if I didn't like being here? You might be surprised how many use SL for destructive purposes. That's part of the reason why I'd like to highlight what's actually here to truly enhance one's life...that's what increases resiliency. I'm glad you don't log in to be destructive though...

Having a worthwhile goal increase one's willingness to be resilient. To be resilient takes work, it doesn't just come. In any case the money made on one's store proceeds must be a great motivator for you and quite a few other creators I would think. I'm not sure many do it for the money...and for others not ONLY for the money. If you love to create then doing so is a motivator all by itself. No doubt there are those only in it for the money though, but usually it shows...not always but often.

You're a creator with a store though and would therefore have a high motivation for staying resilient on that alone. Not quite sure what you're saying, but those who love to create, whether having a store or not, love what SL offers, yes. Having a worthwhile goal, or a way to have fun increases resiliency in one's life overall. Doing whatever you do in SL likely helps your overall mood or positive attitude toward life as well, lest you wouldn't be doing it.

Oh noes...this fellow @ the Fairre increased my stress levels considerably....I had to go float on a nearby pond to recover ;0

Can't say I saw that many ideas for stress relieving within the thread. Mostly just about people not being stressed in SL or some external tools. I did relate some that I utilize, but my goal was to see what others are doing as well. Some did chime in, with examples but others don't seem to understand that simply enjoying activities in SL is a great stress reliever, and so increases resiliency. Others, for some reason, felt the need to compare SL with RL when that's totally unnecessary and not my intent.

It would be a shame if a thread pointing out the amazing tools we have in SL at our disposal to increase quality of life would get locked..

Because I assumed the point of the thread was stress relieving ideas INSIDE SL, not the ones outside of it. Correct.