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Kaitlin Fray

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About Kaitlin Fray

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  1. This problem has been persisting for the last few days despite clearing my cache and resetting to a default female character. I also wanted to upload a texture today but I got that message and it didn't upload.
  2. Tigertat wrote: How many people have lovers in SL and in RL? Is that the norm or is it frowned upon? Just curious.. Saw it on show called my strange addictions... Just lovers? Probably many people, lol. I don't really care if thats what someone wants to do, but I wouldn't want to be with someone on SL who is married/has a partner in RL (or even in SL). I wouldn't do it myself anyway, unless its an open partnership in SL and has nothing to with RL.
  3. Mercy Stark wrote: .... Please, what ever brought you here to SL remember it's a real person behind the avi whether they be totally psychotic or the sweetest person you've ever known, something in the middle or both in the same minute. Be what you expect and want others to be. Be honest with yourself in why you came here and every reason is valid even it spiteful and hurtful or out of lonelyness. So measured love, there are variations, degrees? Do you love them as a friend, do you lust them. Are your boundries actually there to shield you or help you sort thru the incompatible ones? To what extent are you willing to go for the person you love. And when you tell them you love them, what does that mean to you? Maybe instead of trying to put a locked down meaning on the term 'measured love'. We all go back and ask ourselves what does 'love' mean to us. PS. Still looking for that 12 step program Severly lost with out her mate I'm not sure I can totally agree with the bold, because I think your sense of morality is what matters not what you want/expect others to be; its important that you're true to your own ideals, you can't push that onto someone else. I'm all for letting people be who they want to be, I often think if I can't spot being treated like rubbish then I'm to blame. I think its just important that you're honest and open with what it is that you're thinking and feeling - well, as much as you can be. Everything else is how the other person perceives that and you can't control such things. Your last paragraph, however, is a really important one for people who are serious on having a relationship in SL. I wish everyone would think about this beforehand, but its hard to know all these details until you're right in the middle of a relationship.
  4. Jasmyn Vaher wrote: just if one is really in love and I mean really, no BS, then I dont see limitations and all these boundaries meaning anything. I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. At times, way too many times, an online relationship can’t be taken into the real world. No matter how much love there is; RL distances, circumstances and constraints do prevail, and to think otherwise is completely unrealistic…Therefore, IMO, if someone cannot live a relationship without eventually being close to their significant one, then, such person should completely avoid getting involved in an online relationship that, for whatever reason has not realistic chances to be taken to the real world Agreed. I think if you've discussed it beforehand and know the other person cannot reasonably take it into RL simply (yes, there are always chances, I'm referring to how realistic it is) then its on you when it messes up because you want more. Generally, however, I've had a couple of serious relationships on SL. The most intense being one of the reasons why I left (though I'm back now! ). When I first joined, SL it was a game for a couple of days and I only shared a little info about myself. Then it started to feel like a chat site and I usually end up sharing more when I meet someone I just click with and chat to over a length of time - probably because I don't feel like I click with too many people easily and just take my chances. Lets just say that didn't go too well when I realised what differences there are between the people I meet in SL and the details in RL, because life isn't simple; its rarely ever just about personality. So, typically, I started being guarded and thought maybe I could just explore the creativity and also think of people like that - I'm highly interested in how people think, and thought if I found someone, we could pull off an SL only relationship. Well, when I did find someone I really liked and I mean I liked him very much, it was great for a while because we'd discussed that we wouldn't mix RL though we did talk about RL (no specific details I guess but still somewhat irrrational for someone who claims to be logical ). I guess because my details, i.e. more specifically my age, was on my profile, this wasn't a topic we touched upon and it would have been fine with the mindset I had then. However, soon he wanted more and I guess RL just wasn't realistic. If this is measured love? I can't help thinking I don't care, I can't switch off my mind that easily on SL and be so wholly unrealistic where it involves my RL. I'm careful with love, I haven't always been in RL and don't think I am as careful in RL, but you can get hurt in different ways on SL - and what bothers me most is the desire not to hurt someone else more than getting hurt myself because I'm good at getting over things. I have noticed that I share a whole lot more when I know I'm just friends with someone and have spoke to, shared pics, etc. with some friends. I just find it much more complicated when I like someone and know they like me too. I haven't really gotten into anything really deep since I've been back (that would be kinda quick!), but I do think I won't be giving up this "measured love" any time soon if I find someone who wants to keep it in SL. You don't know when you might want something more in RL, so I don't expect people to know but I don't enjoy deception.
  5. i.e. it appearing in my inventory without me accepting? I'm using Firestorm v4.1.1.28744. In Privacy, I don't have "automatically accept new inventory items" checked, so I just don't understand it. Edit: Oh, that must be it @ Nyll's reply. I didn't realise that happens, it might be something new? I don't recall this being the case from a year ago :s
  6. This doesn't happen on the low/med settings, just on the higher ones. Its really annoying when I want to take a good shot but have to spend forever for my skin and clothes textures to load.
  7. I'm pretty sure they don't have to be on your friends list? You can use "radar" too.
  8. It can be very annoying, but conversely its also annoying when people don't just tell you they're busy; which is what any normal person would do if they are actually busy. I have friends who constantly pester me (probably pester because we're not close and shouldn't really be friends...? but also because they'll know I'm busy and still IM me) and others who respond very slowly.
  9. Hey Sakinan, Its not you, its simply that most people on SL seem unable to have a proper conversation lol. I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the very few people I've come across that make conversation easy like it's meant to be. The funny thing is, the friends that I have made and really like are all ones I made by chance when I wasn't looking really looking for friends or at odd hours (I log on at odd hours) when I was just looking around. I won't say you should just try not to look because that's kinda impossible, lol, but be more aware of the people around you? Visit more places, be the first to start conversations and try not to make them monotone? I can't stand conversations starting off with "hi, how are you?", and starting something randomly gives you more to chat about IMO. I think with good looking avatars, its hard because either people are too Idk shy about their own avatars not looking as good and are to nervous to approach you or they only approach you for sex... SL is full of annoying extremes. This is again why I think starting conversations yourself first may help, but I agree with you about there being some expectation that you must already have a huge family and friends. I only came back to SL a couple of weeks ago and have started afresh with no friends and I do feel like a lot of the older users act like this. Atm, I'm just looking for friends and maybe family who can have a conversation and be themselves around me lol, so IM me if you like
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