Kaidin Ulrik

Oh Oh and I said forget the madness and PMed you... there should be a friendly note in your box

The comparison of changes says it all..... The Earth changes everyday but overall things are so minute to on lookers. Individually the decisions and life processes we choose make huge shifts in what we call our existence. The impact in change in us just seems to be far greater as everyone wants to see others do better for themselves, but then you have those who want to do better for themselves and hold others back to feel like they have increased.... Things will always stay the same at the center because of keeping a focus.... Change is growth and is needed to understand the risks and experiences. And the later art of what you said truly says it for me, have to leasrn to enjoy moemnts in life for what they are and not get caught up in expectations because sometimes not everyone around is ready for a change.... Survival is all about instinct and adaption, understand that makes it that much more simple to breathe and think at the very least.

I was visited by the alter form a friend last nite... It was spiritually of course and made no sense to me... I wanted to cry thinking about it while just saying weiiiiiiiirdddd.... The tears are for a now lost frienship in seeing the person that was there that I gave a lot of myself to now no longer being in my life.... But my being is still tied to all I gave away and I've been stuck in solitude for years now so those bonds weight heavy on my aural strands in space.... It showed me that the parallel universe will always have our best intentions in finding those little pieces of us even if things get crazy. Speaking of which while reading about dark, I had to deal with it heavy today. Got to work felt amazing!!!! Was sitting listening to music and a song that I do like comes on but the message is all about hurting over others and having to let go... I was thinking about that while reviewing the career choices and opportunities in front of me and started thinking about the commercial world that has slid a few offers into my path.... Seeing the 'opportunity' and looking at all the years of thinking ooo maybe I could act or sing or just do a few promos to get some party stuff going, but seeing how people in the industry have acted made me suffocate for a moment. It was a hot flash of crazy... Literally I had to take off my sweater and sit with just my hoodie on for a bit to be able to breathe and think. Just made me see those darker moments where something wants you to give up and give in... Let go of what you know you want for a moment of panic that makes you think you never get another chance. Don't worry about your response time as I have plenty of lonely days of just working that look for the long messages that let me rant =P I feel like we're in our own season of .Hack, we use the net knowing 'The World' that can be at any moment, while trying to piece together our lives in a world that can be utter madness hoping the In-World truly comes together with the Physical. I keep watching it to understand more of the world of RPG through other eyes and it's mind blowing how much the show reveals. Cats are awesome, dogs are loyal, and iguanas are comforting!! My company comes in the form of some what family as it's someone i met in jail and he sees me as a big part of his life in getting his stuff together and not living in 'street' life. I neverrrrrr should have ended up there, but sometimes the universe will align some things to really help end the madness. Vessels, mediums, messengers.... we play the many roles in each others lives and hardly notice it, yet we're always made to be searching for some answer to feel normal. It really is hard to just enjoy the moment these days as sooo many outside desires infringe on one's own wants... Invisibility is good to a point... when you're reaching out to feel real and no one responds it starts to feel like being the walking dead, which just gets to be funny because it's like why worry if people don't notice me less stress and pressure to fit into images of what character i fit best for their situation

I should say looking at life period....

This is how I've been feeling lately looking at the web.... Makes me understand there are still a few good ones left though who will tell it how it is!

So you're a for hire assassin who happens to know a good soulful rock mix when she hears one..... SWEET!!! \m/ =P Enjoy your shift. I leave mine in an hour and 12 mins =D I have to find something cleaver to respond to that vid

lol when I laid down for bed you posted..... And now we both wait another 12 hours to continue convo =P What keeps you really coming back to forum land over and over again, if i may ask? I know you've led into it a bit, but what really makes you look through the madness...

I should add I see things more as Donne Darko meets the Butterfly Effect...... only don't kill the person the the rabbit suit and become an egotistical shmuck who forgets about other people overall and try to stay away from nose bleeds and creating situations you don't want to have to find your way out of....

Tony Hawk did do this pretend thing with Christopher Lloyd about hoverboards... they had to apologize because people thought it was real, but it was like look Christopher Lloyd is coming back. They even tried to keep the back to the future theme.... knowing commercialism, fashion and trends, i can see them making a hoopla about the movie because soooo many people have some sort of connection to it. Some well more than others.... I stopped worrying so much of the state of things here when i looked out into space and saw other worlds closer than i had always realized.... Space is infinite, soon the giant vaile will be lifted and those of us who i dunno believe in magic will get to enjoy the future we want.... All I need is music and i'm good to go.... universe here i come

Unwinding from work, going to go to sleep here soon What about you?

The planet is just learning grounds... I've learned that! It's a true learning lesson for other stuff out there in space, because this crazy 'world' isn't it all. Even 'rl' is now like an rpg, and I do credit psychologist for pointing that out as a student. Things are much role based for progression of trying to get many to more, but that also causes a crisis for those who are intro-extro, extro-intro such as ourselves.... I didn't choose psychology.... I found it and thus found how to connect to the opposite force of me that is female.... I got a better understanding of nature at the very least and why the idea of family can get to be clingy for some. It's knowing whom you can really share you bubble with and who you have to harden the shell to repel. You and I connect because as much as we want to save and preserve this planet that has helped to give us the essence of another moment, we also want to let our hair down and unwind with a simple bonfire that can be very harmonious with nature if seen properly. I think like you, people view my state of thought as depressive and self destructive, but I believe that to be because they have a hard time dealing with their own aspects. 'They want to be heard' just as much as we want to express ourselves, but the tragedy is we end up worse off spending time with them because we're stuck looking at the wreckage. You must remember in the eyes of all things we are all selfish in some ways at the end of the day as we want what we want, but some of us become selfless about our selfishness and wait for what puts everything in place. You Lady Marigold have helped me see my missing calm. I think the more we talk the more calm the both of us will become. I find your scattered thoughts to compose quite well for alluding to what is really important in your message. I'll be the one to say it in this private corner of the public domain, if you were looking for that one guy to stand up and just be real about what's going on and just cut the crap you found him.... I'm not for the .Hack way of living. I like my real features and some of the places that make for amazing places to hang out and just experience what is! And about the bubble, I guess I'm just a bit more attached to being in mine, you're the one who pokes out so you can get others to scatter... I stay reserved with my focus in places only few can actually reach, making it hard to mess with my vibe or notice me at times.....

:catlol:

I'm the silent reserved one, only time i'm the asshat is when others start goofing off and go too far and i go one step further and put them in their place for messing with my vibe..... Do anything you want, but mess with my peace and I reserve the right to bring you pure hell o=) Loooool when I started the SL forums I got a few of the reminders about the guidelines to forums..... blah to TOS over people being shoddy and sheltered from an open mindset to what life can be. I try not to live in confinement although I like to stay in my shell made the form of a bubble, I have my buffer and bumper zone and no one gets to get under my skin unless i allow. I enjoy watching others squirm as they think I will succumb to their head games.... I've not done the milk in the tea thing as I'm all about the English/British vibe... I am gaelic, but by way of the celts/aryans. Plus, I enjoy the taste lemon adds to the mix. I know all about the bed that is havoc, last nite was toss and turn, most nights are with out the good good green and a nice bong session =P, my room is a very cold place to say the least..... I'm starting to see spirits =D And kudos for green power, it really will save us from the downfalls of our predecessors, I want my own solar farm and i am with you on the garden thing... much rather go right outside than spend time at the grocery store if i can help it, just live in georgia where it's a chaotic nightmare of capitialism, prolly from all the cocaine and pill heads who well don't particularly worry about who's doing what to the food...... (i'm crushed as cheetos are basically mini flares when lit)

Thank you for saying all that general threads are meant to be. Possibilities are endless because as you hinted at, someone is always bored looking to rant. I'm not one for pretentious people who want to throw around their opinions on others is all that matter comes down to on that guy you all keep referring to that I will again overlook making an addition to my days. I'm a psych student so I know a bit of what you're going through. You've been looking for a doctor whom actually has an to help you address your issues, and you get stuck with people who want to create situations outside of what you present. It's the philosophical hoopla that has 'poisoned the youth' for centuries and I'm one who will put up my brick walls to ignorance because I no longer have the time in life. If i want to blatantly be rude like the asshats you speak of, I do it with those who understand my character and just run with it instead of trying to tear down things and claim situation as a distorted delusion The one thing i hate is those who act like they are the thread gods because they get a lot of attention.... This isn't hollywood who's who, this is hey I'm bored..... what's on your ming.... (Fyi I didn't start this thread for attention more so I knew I had a topic that could start a long standing chat post) And thank you for the tea fair lady! =^^=

I have nothing wrong with a difference in ideology..... I see that guy as a Socrates of sort... 'Poison the Youth with such narrow minded views of how the world should see things" I just don't see it as much of a dialog when there is one side who wants to rant on and on and be incoherent of what others are expressing through their feelings of situation... It's doesn't feel like talking to him, it's like reading the monologue of a dictator and that's agonizing!!!!