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Dana Hickman

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Everything posted by Dana Hickman

  1. Rosemaery Lorefield wrote: Shocking! What is it about online media that makes people expect to be able to connect with you any time they see fit? Too many people are hooked on getting minute by minute updates to mostly trivial things on the social sites, and that bad habit is what breeds this kind of selfish idiocy in SL. "The one-click generation" I call them.. I want what I want, when I want it.
  2. Amethyst Jetaime wrote: Rodvick Linden has recently stated publicly that LL takes privacy very seriously and that it is the right of every user to have it and that this step was taken as something that could easily be adopted to assure this. If what he says is true, then I would expect that in the future more steps will be taken so that when you want to be shown as off line that none of the workarounds currently available will work either. You and people like you are precisely the reason that I am glad the flag was removed. You believe no one that is your "friend" has a right to any privacy once in a while. If I were on your list and you dropped me just because I preferred to have some private time and this offended you to the point that your drop me, your doing me a favor. I don't need friends that are drama queens and so nosy that can't respect boundaries. I am betting that may be the real reason that people take themselves off line to you and why you 'bump' into them. They just don't want to deal with your nosiness and lack of respect. I'd say this reply is dead-on accurate, and I couldn't agree more. I have a friend on my friends list who's had her online status hidden to me for years. Big deal. I know she still logs in, and if I should need something or want to talk I know she'd be right there at her next opportunity. See, as a friend I don't have the right to insist she be available at the snap of MY fingers, because it's her SL too, and I'm not so thin as to let an online status box determine my relationships for me. There's a real reason she's on that list, and it's not because I can see when she logs in & out. If anybody defriends someone else because they had their online status hidden, then the person doing the defriending has devalued the friendship to be worth less than their own selfish motivations by putting so much worth on having that hidden status checkbox checked. It is these people who are guilty of not acting like friends, and the very first defense for their one-sided behavior is to try to turn things around to make it look like the other persons fault. I'm so very glad LL forced the removal of that checkbox, and I can't wait until they stamp out all the other online status workarounds as well. It's about d@mn time!
  3. Venus Petrov wrote: Dana Hickman wrote: Venus Petrov wrote: Anyway, it is something I appreciate and enjoy most of all....small...talk. This is my obsession. I had always thought of that as 'pillow talk', and small talk would just be normal chit-chat about unimportant things. Hmmm... I'm not aware of being obsessive about anything, but I'm certainly what I would call "compulsively impulsive" in SL.. aloft on the wind and spur of the moment. Still not sure if it's a bad thing or a good thing, but nothing bad has happened yet because of it, and it's kind of liberating and carefree. You might be obsessive about what things are called. I use 'small talk' to refer to both types of situations. Lol! Naw, I'm learning here :matte-motes-wink-tongue: Just never heard it called that before is all.
  4. Ceka Cianci wrote: this may be only viewer specific but i'm not sure.. with folders..you want to take off items that may be in a folder before just replacing them with another folder that is setup with an outfit.. there have been some cases that replacing a folder that is being worn by clicking on another folder and just wearing it..can cause your whole inventory to start to attach to you.. I remember hearing people talk in here about that bug. I can only imagine all the fun it caused lol. Yeah I wouldn't suggest using any kind of folder for what I had mentioned, just like I would never suggest people drag-n-drop folders to their AV either. It's a bit different though when you're only selecting multiple single items and 'wearing' those from inside the inventory, no quirky folder operations at all that way.
  5. What I'm wondering is.. If SL products are protected under dmca, that gives them basically the same IP status as a retail piece of software. On those, if limited-usage EULA conditions aren't made available before purchase (which most aren't, they're inside only), then the manufacturer is nearly always required to honor a return and refund (regardless of whether the reseller does or not), otherwise that's classified as a bait and switch (ie- fraud). Look at what Microsoft went through with the internet browser preference fiasco on Windows and it's easy to see there's legal precedent set on selling software without specifying non-standard or unexpected limiting conditions beforehand. There's a reason anti-virus boxes all have subscription length or terms of available updates right on the outside of the box, because otherwise common convention says the software will perform as believed forever, and the manufacturer would be required to make it that way or give a refund if they didn't want to face fraud charges. In SL, "standard" conditions are the perms on the item, not what's in any homemade license that LL doesn't stand behind. To me, that says if an SL creator doesn't have in big bold letters right on the vendor or MP page that the included licence will limit this product use to this or that, then they must honor a return or their included license is null and void, and any dmca for breaking it's bait-and-switched terms of use unactionable. That's what I get out of it anyway.
  6. Venus Petrov wrote: Anyway, it is something I appreciate and enjoy most of all....small...talk. This is my obsession. I had always thought of that as 'pillow talk', and small talk would just be normal chit-chat about unimportant things. Hmmm... I'm not aware of being obsessive about anything, but I'm certainly what I would call "compulsively impulsive" in SL.. aloft on the wind and spur of the moment. Still not sure if it's a bad thing or a good thing, but nothing bad has happened yet because of it, and it's kind of liberating and carefree.
  7. Qwalyphi Korpov wrote: His stuff is set up that he wears a basic outfit - his hair, huds, undlewear, rings, eyeglasses. Then he has outfits in folders (pre V2 outfits) that had would 'Add to current outfit' and those would generally replace stuff he changed without touching his basic stuff that was constant. Now it adds layers of the same items. If he switches to 'Replace current outfit' he gets a single copy of the items in the folder but he's bald n stuff like that. So he's got to adjust a couple hundred folders. It's okay. If he wasn't doing that he'd be doing something else. I have the same setup but I dont use the outfits feature.. I only used my own created folders with copies of clothes or links to them. Easy way is to select all of the layers or items you want to use from that particular outfit at once (holding ctrl or shift-select between two of them), then you can R-click a highlighted one and choose 'WEAR' from the inventory and it will work like you expected. I do it this way so I don't have to put copies or links of my base items in every outfit folder I have. Helps cut down on inventory bloat.
  8. Correct, but a reply like yours was exactly why i edited my original response to include the part about "not the content, but how it's used". One can wear freebies all day long and it really doesn't mean anything other than they choose to wear a freebie. However, an older resident will almost always have that giant, rounded, oversized freebie belt that they're wearing scaled, stretched, etcc.. to actually fit the best that it's design can, or at least to a point where it looks good and they're happy with it. A noob almost always won't have gotten to that point yet and will have this big giant ring around them, and probably not even touching the AV. You actually can infer a whole lot of truth about someone by the evidence of the skill and effort they have on display. Even an item that's a nightmare to modify and most experienced users wouldn't put that much effort into it will still cough up clues based on how it's used.
  9. It used to be that one could roughly tell the age of someones account by how far along they are in the "progression of avatar improvements" department. I've been noticing lately that the last real bumper crop of noobies, the ones who would now be in that missing ~1-2 year range, do not look like us antiques did at that age. They're fast and have jumped straight into modding and mesh and all the good stuff, and really look more like the veterans of this place do then the noobs that are only a year younger then them. I'm not talking about the better content or better stuff to start with effect, I mean the learned ability to fit and adapt purchased things, the ease with which they use these skills. Maybe i'm the only one who also looks for evidence of the skill required to mod & fit things to their AV, I don't know, but in that group I've noticed a particularly faster grasping of those skills on average. It may mean nothing, or that I pay too much attention to details I pick up on, or it also may mean this group isn't really missing... they're standing in the oldbie crowd that's pointing to where everyone thought they should be and having a laugh at the goofy old seniors :smileytongue:
  10. Realize that this person probably IS normally a bigot like that, but that it's part of their JOB to be friendly and courteous to everyone at the venue. I know a few people that work in these kind of environments, and while not bigots themselves it's no secret that they pretty much hate my guts, but for different reasons. They HAVE to be polite or they risk getting reported to the owners and fired, so they are, even though you can tell they are squirming behind their own teeth at having to be. Best thing to do is mute and ignore, because just like was said previously, it's your reaction that they're after.. and when you give them none they get bored and go away, and probably less likely to attempt such a thing again on others. No reward = waste of time and effort.
  11. Bree Giffen wrote: If you see two guys together in SL, sitting at a welcome area, sailing on a boat, shopping, etc., do you just assume they are gay? How about two girls together? Women? Gosh no, even straight women act pretty gay at times in SL. No, I wouldn't come to that conclusion until they said it, I read it in their profile, or they jumped on each other. As for guys, really I can't recall ever seeing two guys out doing stuff like that unless they were accompanied by at least one female. I wouldn't assume they were gay if I did, and certainly not in the welcome area, but I might if I saw two guys dancing or shopping for 20 scripted cats.
  12. AnthonyFraser wrote: If i was with a woman in SL, would she be able to understand? I could imagine most women would expect me to want sex because i am a man. But how can i prove (or make them understand) that i dont need it in SL? I would think that a very high percentage of women would understand and respect your desire not to.. that is, of course, as long as you were upfront with that info and didn't dig yourself in deep with the romance card before springing that on her. I would also bet that there's a good many women who would understand that you don't want to, but just wouldn't be willing to enter into a SL relationship without those things. Yeah, some of us like it too.. even the pixel type. Point is it's your SL, you play it how you want to, and without feeling the need to justify yourself. Certainly it's uncommon to find a guy who doesn't do that, but it's also very far from unheard of either. My oldest and best friend here doesn't, and I know many others as well. It may be that others just assume you would because, let's face it.. the sheer numbers of those that do end up making those who don't into the rare exceptions. Either way though, you should really never have to justify or defend your choice for people who don't believe you. It's not your fault they haven't gotten out to see the rest of the grids people, or your job to convince them of something they haven't seen yet in SL.
  13. Maryanne Solo wrote: A "force" ability that clears a path before you. I get that ability in RL at the bar sometimes, but sounds more like fus-buuuuurp when I do it. :smileytongue:
  14. Thermal Absent wrote: A high percentage of those that are "available" in SL are also looking for that RL Absolutely true. I was only referencing those who would want to be part of an SL-only relationship, so those "single RL and looking for it in SL" types would be an obvious bad choice if one wanted to keep things only in SL.
  15. Rhys Goode wrote: Is there a way to edit alpha layers in world? When I go to edit an alpha layer, I only see the option to replace the texture for the top, bottom, head, etc, with entirely new masks. Now these masks are not all that hard to make and import using PS or the Gimp or even Paintshop, but it would be nice to be able to tweek them inworld. Could you give a bit more detail on how to "shorten the lenght" of an alpha layer using edit appearance? She was mistaken. There *is* no way to shorten, lengthen, or make any adjustment at all to an alpha layer except color tint. Replacing the alpha mask texture is the only way to change what areas on the AV it covers and doesn't cover.
  16. Eileen Fellstein wrote: Love the animated forum avi Dana I could really relate to your response as this has been very close to my own experience here in SL. In fact, I was just thinking about starting a topic on SL only relationships when I saw this one. I'm certainly not knocking anyone that is hopeful of finding that RL connection with someone, but it's not for me, and the sad truth is that it gets very lonely and frustrating to keep telling people you are not interested in something with an eye on RL and having them walk aaway without giving things a chance here. But...I guess it's better they are honest that is what they are after. I am in an SL only relationship now, so I'm not on the forum shopping but I am interested in knowing others with a similar approach to things. Myself, I consider this a life and a world of it's own. The fact that I can understand to some degree how the grid was created and how pixelized people are constructed doesn't matter to me. I have emotions and experiences, actions and reactions to and from others that are exclusive to this life here. They are part of what has shaped me as a person in 'this' life and also have effected those around me I'm sure. *smiles. I'm not sure I can agree with Sonja that it makes it easier or less painful doing it this way. It doesn't for me at least. I have never considered myself to be 'playing' SL so it's not a game mentality at all. If anything, just for me, leaving the real world 'out there' while I am here can be very very painful at times. Still, I love who I am here and my life and friends and wouldn't wan't to trade it. Way late reply on my part, and thank you :smileyhappy: What you describe is an Immersionists perspective. Self-identifying with your AV and living a SL within the context of the grid world. The first pick in my inworld profile has a brief explanation of all 3 perspectives, and can be used as a tool to help identify the way someone approaches SL, and give major clues as to whether or not their perspective and use of SL may be compatable with your own. I say this because in SL there is an added compatability requirement, not just personalities and details getting along like in RL. couples also need to have at least similar perspectives on SL and it's use or conflicts of use, viewpoint, or context will popup and cause some pretty big issues at times. The more one is aware of the potential dating/relationship pitfalls, the better off they are, and the smarter choices they will make.
  17. Randall Ahren wrote: You mean like Dana's profile? Actually Chief, you'll find no such veiled threats, "you're not good enough"s, and not a single expectation ANYwhere in my profile. Only honest communication about my likes/dislikes/observations, how i personally approach SL, and info pertaining to everyones right to play SL in the manner they choose and not be harrassed for it... something i openly stand up and fight for, for anyone. If you, Randall, happen to find my open and blunt nature offputting then so be it... it only proves once again that my profile does exactly what it was designed to do.. weed out undesireables.
  18. Sonja Smedley wrote: Why is it that I never meet any nice men in SL? Unwritten SL rules apply everywhere, so you have to be careful exactly what you say and how you say it. You mention the word "drama" in your profile.. big no-no. That unofficially says to readers that you're actually a drama magnet or drama queen. Don't even say the word. You also send mixed messages with your RL section. The presence of a RL pic is a MAJOR attractor to anyone who is a RL'er type, who would like to get to know your real identity and take interactions with you to the real world. Below that you say you "keep RL separated from SL". With just those 3 things you've discouraged me if I'm a roleplayer (the pic means your SL presence favors the RL), the false assumption of a drama queen would likely deter me if i'm an SL-only immersionist and sort of shy (who wants to live with constant drama?), and telling me you keep SL and RL seperated means my goals of establishing a RL connection with your real self (as a RLer) are now smashed. There are only those 3 major viewpoints and we all use one or more of them at any given time. Sooo.. What's left? Certainly none of those profile things may be true, but the social rules of "warning signs" or "red flags" are there and people watch for them like hawks, even if they are untrue. Once bitten, twice shy, warn a friend.. that's how it spreads. It also doesn't take much to dissuade someone from IMing or chatting with you if they are timid, shy, or otherwise debating whether or not to make first contact. I would wager a large precentage of the "nice" men would fall under that catagory.
  19. For me, an item has to be of top quality.. texturing, design, highlighting and shading, etc.. for me to buy it. It also has to be modify, whether or not resize scripts are included. No mod = No buy, but that goes triple for anything with prim/sculpty attachments. My shape is so far from the trendy norm that it literally *is* impossible to use a script only to make something fit. The only exception is boots and shoes. I'm much more likely to take a chance on something if the vendor pics are high rez and show front, back, and the all important side seams. Been fooled way too many times by pics that do not show the side seams to seriously consider the purchase if I can't see them. I live in seperates. I only buy a whole outfit when I want a certain piece out of it, but you'll almost never catch me wearing the full outfit unless it's like a catsuit, or simply perfect top to bottom. I choose my style by completely ignoring all fads, trends, and popular "must haves", and do my own thing.. unless it's to deliberately dress the opposite of such things. Over the years I've become quite good at this, and pretty much refuse to wear what everybody else is wearing.
  20. A few things I've noticed over the last 5 years in SL... A high percentage of those that are "available" in SL are also looking for that RL connection. If you weed those people out in your search, then a very high percentage of those that remain are going to be in a relationship with someone in their RL. If you weed those people out then your search may be the equivelant to looking for a needle in a haystack.. SL-only individuals who are sane, who don't roleplay their relationships, and who are not in a RL relationship with someone are one of the rarest types of people in SL. If you don't rule out those who are in a relationship in RL , then you'll need to make rules for yourself regarding that that you cannot break, or make peace with it somehow. Part of growing as a person involves taking a step back and doing a self-check from time to time, and life inside SL is no different. Best of luck and I hope you find exactly the person you're looking for, because they *are* out there.
  21. volunteervic wrote Also, I don't regard BDSM as synonymous with sexplay. I know many people who play BDSM games choose to add a sexual component alongside their BDSM but it strikes me as irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person is into BDSM. It strikes me as even more irrational to assume that someone is interested in sexplay just because that person enjoys activities that are sometimes also enjoyed by BDSM players. Welcome to the world of SL stereotyping... where people who can't think outside their own limited exposure find "ZOMG" offense to non-offensive things, and is purely due to uninformed assumptions and imagined connections they fabricate within their own heads. As far as I'm concerned, the people who stereotype others like this watch far too many soap operas and 'reality' TV shows, and in turn see drama and confict at every corner, even when none actually exist. Absolutely you're going to cross peoples delicate sensabilities with a scenario like this, but the fact remains that if there's no sex in your play then THEY.. repeat.. THEY need to get over being butthurt about it, not you. I commend you on being honest and forthcoming about the issue, and having the maturity to talk about it without the whole "pointing of fingers" that is on display elsewhere in this thread. I say fix the misleading things in your profile, and after that it's not your issue.
  22. Meredyth Littlething wrote: Someone tripped over the plug in to the wall, unplugged all of Second life :manlol: LMAO - i know it's impossible, but why is it so easy to imagine this happening to SL? :smileytongue:
  23. Love is never what one thinks it should be, and it never looks like what one would think it should look like. Love isn't that magical, majectic flower you watch growing in the garden.. jutting up from the mundane to overwhelm you with its inspiring beauty and glorious scent. No, love is the unassuming little patch of weeds that forever grows at the flowers base, protecting it and every flower that will follow, yet never losing its own true color when seasons change and flowers wilt.
  24. Reila Karu wrote: THe uuid's posted are the exact uuid's as the textures i deleted from my inventory. Not sure how they still around the grid if i deleted them. The master original for any uploaded asset stays on LLs server. What you see in your inventory is a LINK to that original. Because you are creator and owner, your link lets you change permissions of the original, but deleting your link does not remove the original from LLs server. It remains there intact so that any other assets (like copies you might have sold to other people) that use it will be unaffected if you accidentally delete it from your inventory window. It's that way on purpose... to protect the things you buy from being rendered useless by a careless or vindictive creator.
  25. Solar Legion wrote: Linden Lab is registered as a gaming corporation. Their product is registered as a game. That's all you need to know to proceed with the facts. All else concerning how one uses their product amounts to an opinion. The subject at hand here ISN'T about how one uses the product, what that product "is", or whether one treats it as a game or as a platform, it's about how one treats THE OTHER USERS of said game or platform. Each of us has a responsibility to know that others who do not share the same viewpoint are here, and to take precautions so that OUR OWN personal use and viewpoint of SL doesn't end up becoming "the great deception" in someone elses SL. SL may indeed be here for you to play as a game if you choose to view it as such, but it's other residents are not registered by LL, not NPCs, and not here for you to game. They may choose to play along, or play with you in your shared viewpoint, but a great deal of immaturity shows through if you choose to "play" your game of SL on them without their knowledge of said fact. No matter what viewpoint one personally takes, there is NO free pass or excuse that trumps the need for one to conduct themself with a little integrity.
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