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Dana Hickman

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Everything posted by Dana Hickman

  1. Syo Emerald wrote: And that part with behaving normally was about saying adults need their freedom because they need to talk that way. And I just thought thats a stupid argument when talking about just one conversation. Nobody said adults "need" their freedom or "need" to talk that way though. I said they "enjoy" that they don't always have to monitor themselves here, which is a known and proven big draw for people. There are huge numbers of adults that come here specifically to get away from all that responsibility, but I never suggested that loosing that momentarily was in any way an impediment to a conversation, more like something many would just rather not have to worry about during "me" time. He did say that he told her that she was too young and that he couldn't be her friend, which was after he found out she was 13. That was civil enough, and it certainly wasn't this guys responsibility to sit and chat with her after that, or tutor her about surfing the net at her age. It's one thing to talk with someone you know is 13 beforehand, and it's something completely different when the adult woman you were just talking to suddenly becomes a barely pubescent child. Caught off guard, the status quo changes drastically, you lose things to say, and because he's a guy it can get a bit uncomfortable.. perfectly understandable.
  2. Syo Emerald wrote: I'm pretty sure he can hold is super adult humor and temper for a couple of minutes to have a short conversation with her. Its more awkward if someone can't behave normal and need to make sexual comments and discuss adult-only topics all the time. Edit: There is a huge difference between saying no to her friendoffer and thinking its awkward to talk with her. He did have a short conversation with her, which was 100% more than what was required. Nobody said anything about not being able to behave normal except you, and he did say it was the situation that got awkward, not him or the talking to her part. Suprising, unexpected, caught off guard at seeing a child not even old enough to be here, and her admitting it openly... absolutely... and lets not forget about the rather real chance that behind her oh-so-innocent AV sat one of the FBIs underage taskforce - internet crimes agents. For all you know the first 'bait' tactic was moments away when he bailed on that. That's certainly a helluva lot more plausible than suggesting he's just a "not normal" social misfit that can't communicate. Even his replies here prove that to be utter crap.
  3. Belladona Viper wrote: There were nothing sexual in this girl,basing on what you wrote,I don't know how that can be awkward. The OP self-indentifies as being an adult in SL, and that usually means they enjoy the fact that they don't usually have to stifle comments or temper their humor around other adults in SL, as opposed to having to when around RL children. A child as young as this would surely be a complication to that SL freedom, even more so if he were to accept that friendship offer, and not being willing to tell her that would be.. awkward.
  4. Ceka Cianci wrote: Sextoy Gynoid wrote: Of course I realized what my name would attract, what I didn't realize was that hundreds of noobs were going to sign up several years later for no purpose other than to beg for cam shows. years later? i don't remember a time they haven't asked for that..even before voice was added to the grid people hounding to skype or cam..i kept wondering if my name said something else in another language LOL . Right around the time of that CSI tie-in thing (IIRC) there was a big influx of pure RLers, and many of them were the internet pron troll type. I remember because I made note of the differences I was seeing at the time, and I too was suddenly getting bombed by their "A/S/L Voice? Cam?" stuff when I rarely saw this before that. People were griping about it in the old, OLD GD forums as well. It was just a little while after this big influx that I decided I'd had enough of these new RLers zeroing in on me due to my RL picture being in my profile, and so I removed it permanently then and haven't had an issue since.
  5. Six Igaly wrote: 3. If you ever would try to change that butt i'll come over and kick it! :smileytongue: Lol uh huh.. If I do then I'll be sure to make it a huge old flappy, cottage cheese butt.. that way if you dare kick it you'll end up losing a shoe. :smileytongue:
  6. 1. I never change who I am for anyone or anything. 2. I never change my best friends because they constantly prove why I regard them as that. 3. I never change this butt... :matte-motes-wink:
  7. 16 wrote: cant be happy all the time. can be content tho. or just accepting maybe. i think that was what Dana was getting at. like the conflicts are mostly in our own heads. so if we can accept that about ourselves then can find contentment. peace even sometimes Not content as I'm always pushing forward. The word is secure... secure with myself, even as flawed as I am. I recognize that even with all the tools I have to accomplish some pretty great things, there still exists only one person in the world who can precisely and systematically undo all that I strive to create, and that person is me. My own worst enemy is always the closest to me, but she's predictable and that gives me the advantage.
  8. emmettcullen93 wrote: what is your second life about tell everyone! My SL is about the "walking conflict" that is me... I'm impulsive but crave routine, a very good creator with skills but gets bored using those skills, and a serial shopper who likes new stuff but not shopping for it. I'm a perv who's too picky to score, a showoff who really hates the spotlight, an explorer who's seen it all already. I'm selfish yet I help and fight for others. Love my friends the most yet I seem to talk to them the least. I'm a wily, jaded old vet who still looks at SL through the eyes of a noob. Good at a lot of things I don't particularly care to do, and fairly poor at things I seem to do on a regular basis. Closing in on 6 years now and I'm on reruns here, but it's all still fun and the people make it worth coming back to again and again. I've learned to laugh at myself because they say it's healthy, but mostly because it hides the sound of everyone else laughing at me :matte-motes-tongue:
  9. Senobia Xenga wrote: So a good old fashioned on the up and up 'relationship' is an absolute no no, due to your RL commitment and causing conflicts of emotion, but rubbing a few off to the sound/sight of another woman's avatar/words/noises is totally acceptable because it's only superficial self-gratification. Amended the above for clarity. The old saying of "it's only sex" can ring true on cases like these, and many times it's because it's just exponentially easier for men to separate their emotions from their lust/sex then it is for women. As a result, sex is much more of a simple recreation for guys then it is an expression of emotion, or something that has to be tied to emotion, or something brought on by emotion. The same holds true in a digital world as well. Regardless of gender though, if one can omit the kind of romance that leads to developing those emotionally deep bonds, and steer clear of things that lead to forming the feelings of love, then it's definitely possible to ensure that their RL bonds, and any new feelings of love stay focused on their RL, and only come from their RL. It's when people create totally new imprints/feelings of love from sources inside SL that those feelings get filed away in their head in the WRONG folder. That's what causes the conflict of emotion, the feeling of being torn between two things, feeling helpless, and all that other nasty stuff. Avoid it by avoiding the things that lead to it, and sex play in SL can remain only about the superficial play and entertainment. The one part about the old fashioned SL relationship that I didn't see mentioned was 'the lazy'. For a relationship to actually work, it requires work, effort, etc.., and many just aren't willing to invest that deeply in something if their heart isn't in it. Some also say 'why buy the cow if the milk is free?', and I really flippin hate that saying because it's so typical, and stereotypical, but I also have to admit for RL married guys here in SL that I can't argue with the reasoning behind it either. There's 'cows' everywhere! lol.
  10. Storm Clarence wrote: I went to a gay bar one time and they asked me for proof of gender so I showed them. They said it was not enough Lmao.. at least they didn't tell you your proof was expired... or look at it for a moment, then say "Oh that does look like you, doesn't it?"
  11. Ok, but you can select the shirt layer for editing somehow, yes? That's usually all it needs to give it a kick start. Otherwise I'd say be safe and make sure it's not on your end by clearing the cache, see if that does it.
  12. Raven1 Short wrote: Just noticed this happening recently. I don't know of anything I changed to cause this. If you look closely, halfway up the forearm it's solid with no distortion, but by the wrist it appears semi-transparent and flared out larger than the skinniest part of the wrist area... it sure looks like a leftover from having worn a baggy long sleeve shirt/jacket but the shape/mesh hasn't reloaded or recovered yet. If that's it then I've seen this happen tons on the pants leg area.. Appearance-->Shirt *should* correct it. System pants legs are infamous for leaving you with a pants cuff shape, but reapplying your skin texture over it when you change out of them and there's a loading problem of some kind. I'm guessing the above is what happens when you change out of a baggy top and there's a loading problem... hard to say.
  13. LuciaRiley wrote: It is dumb honestly. And you also don't know how long, and if you;ll like working with the staff at that said club. I had a job and I worked with the most unfriendly co-owner / owner in all of SL. I didn't have to verify anything, but it still was useless to even apply there. :< That happens when people who should not be 'the boss' are given the opportunity to buy their way into being a boss, but that isn't restricted to clubs like these because it happens everywhere in SL. I think the point is there's no doubt that verify clubs like this one take advantage of *mostly* mens fears of getting played for a fool by another guy.. and I get that. I can imagine how crappy my RL BF would feel if he was into SL and had something like that happen to him, but i really can't give a club any kind of kudos for preying on their fear of such a thing just to make a buck. It's a false sense of security they're selling, but that also may be enough of an assurance for some, so who am I to question the validity of such a club if it helps some people get over their hangups? There's always new and better places to work for, and certainly ones that don't infringe on ones own personal SL boundaries.
  14. Yes, that's the same Curio Pout skin that everyone has, probably one of the light acorn tones with the raccoon makeup. Can't tell from the pic if those are prim eyelashes or part of a not-so-good makeup layer (looking at the eyebrows also), but those parts are not from the skin or its makeup.. that much I can tell.
  15. While I personally think it's dumb that some people need to have their little "verification" in order to fool around with someone in a virtual world, I do respect their right to choose not to in the absense of that. I also don't mind that clubs like this exist in SL, because it's a good thing. Gives these types of residents a place to get their verified fix, and also gives me a handy landmark to give out every time one of them doesn't respect *my* right not to voice, or *my* right to rule them out completely because they want or need such a thing. Street goes both ways...
  16. No Mod shapes, as annoying as they are, actually make more sense than creators shipping No Mod alpha layers with their mesh creations. For years it's been possible, on any texture-based item, to hide the texture preview box so that their precious texture doesn't show itself to Printscreen thieves. Makes me wonder if them doofuses realize how many people still use V1 viewers that don't have multiple layers.
  17. Tarina Sewell wrote: Also your appearance plays a key role in this.... If you dresss like a **bleep** you send an inviation you are available.. You can be sexy and still not project "I'm here for sex!" look.... This is true, but it's also true that if one takes their appearance past a certain level of perceived beauty they also start to send the 'unapproachable for sex' or 'out of my league' message to would-be suitors... so the opposite effect takes place and you don't get hit on more, you get hit on much, much less than you do when you dress down.
  18. Innula Zenovka wrote: However, the sales pitch is "stop people copying your look." Is this a pitch that makes sense to anyone? Do people actually worry that someone else might like the shoes they're wearing and go and buy a similar pair? It's doesn't take very long in SL to figure out that we all look pretty much the same en masse if we dress in "similar" clothing. No, I don't see that pitch making sense to anyone who knows better, or has the experience in SL to tell them otherwise.. but strip all that away and pretend to be a snooty and vain noob and it might seem like a decent option. Possibly that's who this kind of thing targets. Yes, I've seen people go ballistic when someone inspects them, or panic and try TPing away quickly, but from what I've noticed it's almost always the type of people who buy new things for the reaction they think it'll get from their peers.. ie attention or spotlight hos. Never have I seen this from anyone who merely buys things for normal reasons, and they are usually happy to tell you where they bought something. For years I've had people trying to copy some of the looks I come up with, so much so that *I* was getting teased about it. I'd get IMs from friends like "Hey little Dana just walked in" or "Who said you could bring your kids with you today?". Was always good for a laugh, but I never cared if some wanted to do that. I'm usually quite happy to say where I got this or that at if someone chooses to ask. I'm also fairly sure I've ended up pissing a few people off when they've inspected my prim attachments, mod stuff like shoes, jewelry, and hair, because I almost always do a total rework of the item and it usually never looks even remotely the same when they get to the store and see what my item started out looking like lol.
  19. Talk about bad timing.. *holds finger and thumb about 1mm apart* I was that close to dragging someone back to my place. *Sighs* cold shower it is. And thankfully the stores I shopped at this morning have redelivery terminals, because I just know LL's going to rollback inventory and I'll end up getting screwed anyway.
  20. Melita Magic wrote: What is an "average tall guy height?" Isn't that an oxymoron? What I meant by that is the difference between someone you would classify as being "yeah, they're tall", versus someone your would classify as "OMG! TALL!". Pictured as a contrast, I was merely pointing out that she's a lot closer to the shortest you'll commonly see out in public, whereas he's still in the "just over average, but not a giant by any means" catagory.
  21. Eileen Fellstein wrote: Speaking of spoiling the fantasy, and this has nothing to do with sex. I was helping out with a friend's upstart club one time. I happened to be one of the dancers. I don't recall the person's name and wouldn't tell it anyhow, but the DJ was this big ole brute of a demon. Probably 10 ft tall and 5 ft wide across the shoulders. Quite a hunk even considering the obvious fact that he was satan spawn. He took the Stream and played a couple songs then did a voice part. It was Poindexter! I facepalmed in RL, mumbling to myself 'oh god, please just shut up and play music, you RUINED it!' lol I just had to reply to this part because I just got done LMAO! It's so true! The power of the imagination completely trumps what reality can offer when it comes to these sort of things, and yet it's the hardest thing to get voicers to understand that I want to stay in that fantasy here in SL. The point about being heard on both ends of a voice session is also a very valid one. It was bad enough when I was involved in some steamy cyber with a guy, and right in the middle of it I received the message that "lol my wife was watching, she thinks your totally erotic and wants to sleep with you". I was like OMG noooo.. please?!?!.. are you bleeping kidding me? Well It wasn't a joke. I knew his wife was into SL, had a sexy AV, and that they played swinger like that in SL, but Nooooo idea I was the entertainment for bleeping family night. I shudder to think how awkward and embarassing that would've been had it been on voice instead, and she come on the mic to tell me in person.
  22. Zeta Zemach wrote: What I found was a lot of needy men who would defriend me as soon as they realized that I was serious about not having sex or relationships. That happens a lot, and from what I can tell it's for one of two reasons: 1) They're used to handing out friendship requests right away without much forethought into who they offer it to, and so retracting that also doesn't mean that much in their mind. 2) Didn't let them know about your non-interest in those things early enough in the conversation.. like before they've invested a bunch of talk, time, and effort to steer you towards an encounter. Zeta Zemach wrote: The reason why I wrote this post was that I realized that SL created more frustrations than Joy, and I was fed up with people asking for my friendship for the all the wrong reasons. I started to mistrust people. I actually had to remove my real-life portrait because people only commented on this, instead of reading my profile. It's also my experience that people doesn't bother to talk to me when they realize there isn't any possibility for sex or romance. Oh yes, having a RL picture in your profile is like having a giant flashing neon sign over your head that says "I want to date you in RL". It will attract RLers like crazy, and they will most certainly be focused, if not completely obsessed with it in their efforts to make as much RL connection with you as possible. Removing it was the best solution. I'll also say for the record that you need to mistrust people at the start.. always. SL is the playground for many wierdos, psycho-social stalkers, and manipulative people-users, and you need to protect yourself. Trust the ones you know well and that have earned it. As for the not talking to you thing, yeah sadly that does happen often. SL itself and much of what's in it isn't necessarily about sex or romance at all, but a high majority of it's popular social scenes are. The possibility of meeting someone and the whole mating dance thing are a big draw to people, so at places like clubs and purely social scenes one kind of has to expect to be eliminated from a lot of peoples "flirt with" card if you're not there for that. The fact that they don't even bother to talk with you at all just shows how much they value you (the possible great friend) compared to you (the possible sex encounter). Just find better places to hang out than in the meat market.
  23. Coby Foden wrote: I spotted this in local newspaper. Resembles Second Life somehow... :smileysurprised: :smileytongue: Indeed. The only difference I can see would be if that was SL, then an AV her size would have her upper arms and knee areas scrunched in a freakishly troll-like manner. Interesting to note that while Eva is notoriously very short, well below the norm, and shorter than the average preteen is nowdays, this guy pictured next to her is also only 6'3" tall.. well below the average tall guy height in RL.
  24. Coby Foden wrote: The arms in the RL woman are a bit shorter than in the "Ideal Proportion - Female". That's right. I use the highest knuckle on the hand, even with the crotch, for a slightly shorter look, or highest knuckle on the thumb for a slightly longer look. The difference isn't that much between the two, but changing to the other can sometimes get rid of those tricks on the eye that certain outfits can cause. High-waisted booty shorts or daisy dukes with some cheek showing are a prime example.. will always make your arms look longer then they are and make your torso look shorter then it is.
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