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Kamala Dashuria

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Posts posted by Kamala Dashuria

  1. I think it is a shame that in a world of endless possibilities we are expected to all have the same avatars Be it (too) young or (too) old I've seen people get berated for deciding not to be a tooth pick thin model. At one point I saw someone get border line greifed because her avatar looked too old--and I quote-- "Like a thirty five year old woman".

    The ageism in Second Life is appauling :(

  2. I'll be honest, it is because a number of the roleplayer here on Second Life began roleplaying within Second Life, they have no other frame of refrence.  Keeping IC and OOC entirely separate is not something which seems to be a common rule of thumb in terms of Second Life roleplaying. Whereas in LARP, Tabletop, Mucks/Mushes, forums and chatsites it is the golden rule.

    In Second Life you have to put "I am not my character" or "IC relationships only" because the lines between IC and OOC get blurred for whatever reason. Some people are too new to understand, others were never corrected on their behavior and then you have the few that like to mix them to control the person they are with.


  3. No problem! And I agree, it doesn't make a lick of sense that it isn't linked anywhere on the Second Life web page; however, profiles are linked from Marketplace store fronts. I guess since it is so new (and they haven't gotten around to doing another revision of the original website in a while) that it wouldn't be included.

    Have fun with the new features! :matte-motes-whistle:

  4. Actually I have seen people give that as a reason for breaking up, usually without any explination as to what promises weren't kept or what changes didn't occur. Often times it was over very trivial instances of not keeping a promise or following through. 

    In real life I've seen it used plenty and for all sorts of things. Normally it's just phrased as "You don't keep your word", gender aside.

  5. Harlett Daines:

    That is sadly really common. The question is, "Did they actually leave SL"? Nine times out of ten it seems that people take those words with a grain of salt and come back as an ALT. 

    Cinnamon Mistwood:

    Those two are really good ones and almost always phrased in just those words. There is something about nonspecificity that people seem to like when breaking off a relationship (first or second life). I've never understood how leaving things unsaid and/or denying closure makes anything easier.

    If we made a graph "It's not you, it's me" would be at the top! One would think that physical distance would make breaking up easier to do, but once invested..it is a whole different ball game.

    This topic could easily be open to real life relationships, as there is really little difference in the sting (and emotions are hard to contain to just SL or RL, even if the relationship is only in one and not the other).
    Awesome song! It's probably going to get stuck in my head now.

  6. Randall Ahren:

    I can't even tell you how much I hate that particular line. People change all the time on one level or another. From when you first meet someone to the time you say good bye, you are changing or have been changed in some way. Dresden is right, that is "It's not me, it's you".  Knowing how people that usually use that line are I bet they didn't tell you what it was that supposedly changed about you, right?

  7. Willow Danube:

    That one is probably the new classic line for this generation of online relationships. I'm sorry that you got pegged by that one. People like that are ticking time bombs for drama and heartache, eventually they will be found out either by their own stupid mistake or luck fails to be on their side.

    Wildcat Furse:

    Wow, that one floors me, just a BRB? I don't know which is worse: Too much ceremony and times spent on good byes or nothing at all.
    I had a guy actually pull a BRB on me last year in December (we had been together several months). He came back in late August of this year and..pulled another vanishing act. "You and I can meet up tomorrow for a date and to catch up," he hasn't logged in under that account since.

    Dresden Ceriano:

    Oh, ouch. That one really is a relationship black eye. Sadly I think that occurances like that are becoming pretty common place within Second Life. Be it learning that the person you were with was an alt of someone already in a relationship or consoling people whom make themselves utterly inconsolable.
    Even if it the story isn't cliché the behavior was (on their part). I'm really sorry that that happened to you.
    Hugs for everyone, since the subject can be like rubbing salt in wounds as much as there can be humor in it.

  8. Canoro Philipp:

    Ugh, I'm so sorry that you've been fed that line. That one has, and always will be, one of the easy to spot lies at the end of a relationship. The subtext is usually, "It's you or something you did, but I don't want to say what". I've had that said to me too, several times. You'd figure people could or would come up with something new.

    I got the rare: "It isn't me, it's you" in subtext.

     Thank you for the sympathy and the kind words. Even when things don't end in a major fall out it helps a lot to hear encouraging words rather than the usual bitterness and anger. I figure that the two of us are better parted, what she wanted literally changed over night and I was no longer in the big picture. I wish her well; however, I hope that lets the next person down without the static lines and with warning (the lead in was: So, I have to tell you something). She's moved on already and I'm going to do the same.

    I'll tread more carefully and do my best to not make the same mistakes (although I still sit here wondering if I actually did).

    Maryanne Solo:

    While that is pretty funny, in it's way. I think I would have gone She-Hulk and smashed some heads if someone said that to me. That is about as classy as "Hey. they're dead right? Can I have their stuff?!"

  9. I usually delete contact based off of:

    • Has the person logged in in 3 months?
    • Has the person caused serious amounts of drama?
    • Does the person talk to me or do I always have to begin conversation?
    • Is the account in question a known ALT? If so, how often are they logged into?
    • Have they done, or condone, activities which are against the Linden Labs TOS?

    I have always tried to keep my contact list neat and limited only to people I keep in contact with. If they are strangers or have a habit of not being online too terribly often I find it easier to keep tab with them using contact cards and now profiles. With profiles I can follow their updates (if they have them) and chat until I am comfortable enough to add them.

  10. The subject is pretty self explanatory I think. Although I am willing to expand the question to have said, if you are on that side of the fence. Having literally just had a relationship ended on me the other day I found myself curious (rather than upset thankfully) on the matter.

    Please no names, in whole or in part, as this post is for discussion and not to name and shame. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

  11. The subject is pretty self explanatory I think. Although I am willing to expand the question to have said, if you are on that side of the fence. Having literally just had a relationship ended on me the other day I found myself curious (rather than upset thankfully) on the matter.

    Please no names, in whole or in part, as this post is for discussion and not to name and shame. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

  12. What you are looking for is: https://my.secondlife.com , that is where the profile pages are hosted. From what I know there is no direct link on https://secondlife.com that links to it, although there probably should be. Once you are logged into My.SecondLife you just add the person's name into the URL. For exampe, yours would be https://my.secondlife.com/Sommerland.Starostin. Anyone on your friend's list you can get to their profiles from the people tab on the left side of the screen.

    Hope this helps.

  13. People not paying mind to display names is a mixture of people being visual,slow to learn and assuming that everyone treats display names like an over blown titler--from what I've found. While it does say that a user name is forever, it does rather suck that they are (especially with the new registration system) it doesn't state it clearly enough or have an additional promp warning you that your decision is final. I do remember some time back when they were thinking of making name changes something you paid for ($50.00 was the amount I kind of remember being mentioned), but the project got scrapped and display names is what we got.

    The most you can do is be firm in your decision as to your name. Gently correct people the first few times they make the mistake and if after a while they simply don't get it tell them that you won't respond until they address you properly.

    In matters large and small people forget manners and respect. A lot due to the people that run around with random gibberish in their display names and/or change it once a week.

    Confusion can be avoided by mousing over someone or checking their profile. 

  14. My bare feet from Slink. I am almost always barefoot after buying them. My Deeda glasses from Kg_s, I just have a thing for glasses. All of my outfits are co-ordinated around those two items which I only ever take off by accident (or if I'm dressing formally, which happens rarely, I wear shoes..ones with Slink feet). :matte-motes-wink-tongue:

  15. I agree, it isn't love at all. You are most likely in lust or infatuated. 

    Having recently been swept up in a similiar situation all I can suggest is to apply the brakes and proceede with caution. If after slowing things down the heady feeling dies down and interest begins to wane, you simply had a wonderful night with someone. If things get better and deeper for the slow down, then maybe you've found someone worth getting to know romantically.

    Talk to the other person and see what it is that they felt (if anything) and what they are looking for. Mind, people often do not know what it is that they need. Even if things line up you still run the risk of the fickle nature of second life romance rearing it's head. From recent expierence I can tell you that giving your all typically does not equate to giving enough for some people. They like the chase more than what follows. After they've had you, they're done.

    Wish you the best though.

  16. There is no elegant solution. As a role player people, well, assume that you are playing/writing a role. Especially since you are not the person that holds the intellectual property. So either use a titler or use display names. Honestly, you should treat people with the same consideration you would like to be treated with. When in doubt: IM the person and ask which name to call them by; however, if you want people to use your display name you should use theirs (unless it is written in uninteligble ascii, those people are best ignored--they don't have names, just bad fashion sense).

  17. I would think that most role plays use whole sims due to aestetic and for traffic. It is better to have room for more than to hit your cap and possibility have people walk away. You don't need a full sim; however, it is typically desired. Quality of build doesn't assure quality of players.

  18. People using your user name rather than your display name is a product of people being too visual. If making a new account is out of the question you may want to try being more forward. Send people a message saying "My character's name is my display name, please use that"or make a profile pick that makes the statement. If you end up feeling that an account change is needed (although getting names is really a chore with the new system) you could always just talk within the group and make it known that you'll be changing, as stated by others.

    It would be wonderful if people would acknowledge display name changes. 


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