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Petar Faulds

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Everything posted by Petar Faulds

  1. Dres, That is a beautiful sharing of your experience. I fully realise how many others before and even after me have felt the true definition of love online, and I know of many friends who have transitioned into an offline environment. In the end we all want the same thing; to feel love, to be in love and to have that other person return the love to us just as much if not more. Life isn't a fairytale but Love can be its own fairytale. I like to think of myself as a idiot savant. I continue to learn on both realms online and offline, an ever rich virtuosity. For me the end of the 5 year relationship was tough and yet here I am, learned alot and ready again. Made me a stronger and better person for the experience. And I know next time I find love I will attempt the transition....with the right woman. Thank-you again Dres
  2. "And when you have reached the very depths of your soul, when you have felt the exhilaration of love and felt the very pits of pain; you will come to understand all things of the Heart and Mind." It has been a very long time since I posted last on these forums, if you search my name my last post was just after the breakup of a very long relationship. After the battles of cancer, of alcoholic abuse and family troubles, I have come to the understanding of what works for me. I am still single, but only cause I choose to. To this point I have had to work to fix issues in my life, and come full circle to the realisation that I am happy and ready again. But I will not settle for anything. I know what I seek. Being on AVMATCH under the 'Symphony of Immersion' name which has become a mantra for me for immersion is key for me. Immersion of reality within my SL. When one immerses himself or herself within SL, they choose the style that best suites them. If you choose to separate your offline from your online, you will go into SL with a different set of guidelines and moral coded principles. If you are like me, and don't separate offline from online, you take the aspects of fantasy on SL but you fuse it into your everyday aspects, you will feel each friend as if they are there with you, you will share each emotion as if they are fireworks seen in the sky. During my cancer treatments I heard someone quote this "Change your thoughts and you change your world around you" and indeed that was the case. I chose to accept and believe that life was important and worth living and that I was full of love. I am a man who wants something and someone real. Therefore if a woman is married or in a offline long term relationship, she is not for me. For me, if I was married I would hate to know my wife was with another, for a relationship is like a string, joined and when you cut the string, you can never rejoin it. Hence I see a relationship in such a way. So I say to anyone reading this, the symphony of your SL is your own song to create. But if you create a symphony full of deceit, alts, cheating and lies, your SL existence will be full of drama. However if you choose to create a harmonious symphony full of loyalty, respect, honesty and love, you will find a SL existence full of richness. Immerse yourself. But stay true to who you are offline. Do not forget who you are, bring yourself inworld. And I leave this post with a new poem I wrote of Immersion. Namaste Untitled poem - Monday 17th June 2013 It was as if the weight of the world lifted off me When you turned and smiled at me, and offered your hand I took that offered hand and stood up and fell into your waiting embrace And I felt the heat of your body on mine, like the sun on the sky I held you close and your beautiful touch took me in I was lost within your soul, you were my radiance In that very moment I knew I loved you so very much And I didn't want to let you go To be with you my love You were my sun, my moon, my world You were everything to me You whispered "Let me be your anchor in this world of pain" I whispered "Yes baby" I caste my anchor and it plunged until it felt purchase I felt your nails on the back of my neck I felt your breath on my throat, You clung onto me and I clung onto you To understand, eventually We were each other's anchor We were each others purchase I took from you and you took from me I looked into your eyes and saw myself in you And you saw yourself in me I traced my fingers across your lips I slid my lips to your ear and said "Let me be your armour, let me be your crossing point" And a catch of breath as we kissed Lost in infinity, lost in eternity You and I descended into the sun, to become Phoenixes It was as if the weight of the world lifted from me When we held each other We made our home in the sun. Forever firebrands. Of Love
  3. I am the owner of the parcel. This started last night SLT. Before then I had no issues posting. Under location, my Parcels is shown up as empty. No settings were changed Any help would be immensely appreciated :)
  4. Hi Arkie24, nice insightful post. I've choosen to never form a relationship with a married woman again. Just isn't for me. Should have followed my prior stance on it. Wont falter again. What I failed to mention was that at the club was myself, the girl I was dating, the club owner and only 2 further VIP and this happened in open chat. Thank god the club wasn't filled and that was a godsend
  5. I am sorry Melian and I read your post with a heavy heart and with great understanding for I was for a large part in 2011 cynical of both relationships in SL and RL. It was hard to understand after giving your heart for 5 years how someone who said they loved you could simply being with a new man in quick succession. I was hurt, sarcastic and pretty much devoid of any positive feeling. And I often wondered if this Great Cosmic Cruelty Joke was my lot in life. But for every negative situation around me are people and friends who have found people whether online or offline and are happy and I know it can be found cause I was with a ex for 5 years. I believe that we all can have happiness and sometimes happiness comes from seeds unknown left to sprout slowly but surely. Melian, please don't give up hope and if you wish to talk and vent IM me anytime. And if I don't find love at least i tried, I didn't give up and gave it my best shot. I won't stand still. And the Cosmic Cruelty Joke can kiss my ass
  6. To those who have ready my first ever thread post late last year which was called Second Life Syndrome, I am back with alot of stuff happening and a new view of things from experiences garnered. In my last thread I posted about my journey at the end of a long 5 year relationship and recieved many responses and Im's from people wishing me the best to which I have and say again Thank-You. And in that time I have come a long way with the New Years period being instrumental in fusioning a new seed and a new path into 2012. I was finally able to move on and forward in early January I met someone and we hit it off, being both DJs, we have certain things in common and I enjoyed talking to her. The more and more I spent with her the further I felt better and hope built that finally my break had come. And lets call her C for this thread, she is a great person and and has alot of great stuff going her way. She had a great avatar, a sexy voice and a kind sweet way about her. Just before meeting her to break with the past i changed my landline phone number, my email address, muted certain people, and changed my mobile number as well. This was a new start. I knew that next time I met someone, she would be different from my ex of 5 years and that it would be a brand new relationship with its own challenges and movements and changes and beautiful epiphanies. And I was ready and willing. I had opened my heart, mind and soul to this new experience. And I knew it was time. We both had our separate histories and I was not going to hide my past from her for it is a part of me. And always would remain so. I knew she would have her own issues and her own challenges. And I chose to accept it and move along with it. With C being an attractive avatar with a very nice voice I immediately came across guys who would compliment her and say sexual stuff and I chose to accept it to a point. As when I DJ I get comments as well, it is only natural to understand that there will be guys attracted to her as there would be gals attracted to me. I am not a easily led to jealouse guy and am not a self defacing protectionalist. C and I started spending alot of time together and I would go to her sets and she would come to mine, she met my close field of friends and I started meeting hers. Immediately she would tell me she started having issues with some of her closest male friends. A few would make passes at her, maybe its the factor of trying one's luck when a woman is taken, a game I suppose. Her open communication and her vocalisation was enough for me to take this all on board. During one of many long conversations on Skype she revealed to me she was married offline but not in a good relationship. I had met and spoken to her offline kids via skype and liked them. Having made a pledge not to get involved again with a married woman I didn't heed my own policy and chose to continue, believing that if I take things a day at a time and hoping she'd be divorced by the end of 2012 I could stomach this major stumbling block for me. So I chose to continue. My rule of thumb was never to get into a sexual or intimate relationship with a married woman cause I am single offline and believe in the sanctity of marriage. But I chose to carry on and failed my own logical set line. We were together for a full week for many hours on SL and Skype and then last weekend on Saturday we had gone dancing at a club she hangs out. She was trying on shoes and I get a IM from a girl already there who asked for a dance and said I was very good looking. I immediately said thank-you but was waiting for my partner. She said sorry and wished me a good day and left. I cut and pasted this to C, as I always believe in a open and communicative relationship. Later I had a DJ set and afterwards she said she needed to go to the same club we were at and talk to the owner about getting set up to DJ there at another time. I accompanied her and this is where the proverbial hit the fan. I've only asked for 3 important things in a relationship, Honesty, Trust and Loyalty. I beleive in giving it to my partner and getting it back whether it is SL or OFFLINE. C proceeded to DJ at this venue and we danced. The owner started making suggestive comments at first how sexy she sounded and then it got more personal and lewd about how hard she was making him. I counted 10 comments and the worst thing this club owner could say in open chat was "I so want you and think your fu sexy, I don't care that your with your man". I am right there. Here I was biting my tongue knowing if I said something I'd be painted as the jealous and uptight man. What I waited for was a REBUKE or at least a stop comment from her. All she did was take it and do a LMAO after the comments. There was no respect by this guy for her or for me. And I said nothing and kicked myself. He goes "what did you do to deserve a sexy woman like her, Petar?". I didn't reply. I stayed quiet and C Im's me asking why I was quiet and I replied how I didnt appreciate his sleaziness and that I needed to have dinner and signed off. I had 3 hours to think about things and realised that this was a test and a possibility of what was to come if I continued. My trust however infant in her was shattered and knowing it was long distance I had none left and could not trust her. When I committ to something or someone I am there 100% and I want a woman who I feel can do that to me, knowing the timezones between us. If I cant have that trust, well then its pretty much over. I signed back on later that evening my time and she didn't raise this issue with me. Our IMs descended into one where we parted company and she could not understand why I took offence and her comment was "so your ending things because my avi is hot?". I told her she was missing the whole point of it and if she could not understand why I was upset it was indeed over. I told her this guy was not respectful to her or me. What was worse was in his SL profile he was PARTNERED and worse than that the partner was also a Offline partner which led me to realise this guy was a sleaze, and pretty much not a individual I could see myself around. And C could not understand how disrespected I was and she could not understand that he did wrong. She said they were only comments and that he was 'high', poor excuses. We no longer talk, ended in acrimony. And yet this experience has taught me that what I seek can be found. I want a lady who will be loyal to me, who will take compliments but when they get to much tell the person that she is with me and doesn't appreciate the ongoing attention. Cause it would work and does work both ways. That is the only way it can work. Respect, honestly, loyalty breeds committment true and strong. No doubts, no worries. No fears. With one's heart in one's mouth we carry on and we seek our abide moment when clarity becomes visual and tangled flesh becomes untangled. The belief that honesty, loyalty and respect can be attained on SL by people is strong. And I wont stop searching for that moment, abiding grace. Take care and Namaste :) Petar
  7. If you love the music genre of Post-Rock as well as the similar genres of Post-Metal, Prog-Rock, Alternative, Indie, Experimental and Shoegaze like I do, then read on. I have set up a group for likeminded fans of the above genre but especially Post-Rock on SL. The group is named Post-Rockers United and can be found in the Groups section of my profile. I would like to use the club as a meeting point for people to exchange info/details on DJ's or live artists that play or perform these genres so we know where to go and when to go. This group would be open for Djs to promote their sets only if the above genres are going to be played. This group will also be a discussion place to highlight new bands, new album releases and meet ups. I would also like to in the near future set up a club/venue on Second Life where we can all hang out whilst listening to these genres. So click on my profile hit the Groups tab and join Post-Rockers United and become a Freak! Its free and won't cost a dime. So if you love bands like, This Will Destroy You, Maybeshewill, Destroyalldreamers, Riverside, Lunatic Soul, Anathema, Antimatter, Long Distance Calling, Codes in the Clouds, Moving Mountains, Of Sinking Ships, Keira Is You, God Is An Astronaut, We Made God, Unholy Tongues, Meniscus, Porcupine Tree, The Album Leaf, Coheed And Cambria, Caspian, Bewareofsafety, 65 Daysofstatic and many more join now!!! You can always IM me, Petar Faulds inword anytime :)
  8. Hello ChaoticEmbrace I hope you find a cuddle buddy. I do like to cuddle however you lost me at bloodlines, and covens. And what do you mean by someone "can be a man"? 
  9. Hey folks, This thread has devolved from the intended topic the originator started with. Lets stick to topic and keep the vitriolic out. Merry Xmas one and all!
  10. Sonja, I want to wish you luck in your search. Hope you find the type and style of SL Relationship you are after. Just dont give up on your dreams and what you seek. Namaste 
  11. Herpes, I hope your posts in this thread is intended to be humourful even if the humour is pretty archaic and perverse. I for one have not had a chuckle at your casual references of women being inferior than men which is not true. Wonders if you are some would be dom on some Gor sim who needs to 'collar' a woman for sexual gratification..... Anyways your wit is so becoming either way. 
  12. It is men like you Jochen that think first with their genitalia than with the mass between your head called thy brain, that make it hard for decent, rational and loyal and honest men to be trusted by women. It is men like you who probably have women with hearts of gold that don't know how good they have it and then piss and whine when the girl leaves you and you cite "But I didn't mean it". You had a family, friends and of course they will be royally angry at you. Your at fault, your decision, your lust, nobody else. You made the choice, the decision, nobody had a gun to your head. Jochen, my advise to you is this - you can't do anything, you made your bed lie in it. LEARN from this, be a better fella, make better decisions and use your brain instead of your lust. Ladies - not all men are like this. Don't judge the majority of decent men by the tainted few 
  13. To stand still on the summit of reflection is difficult, and in the natural course of things, who cannot go forward steps back. Gaius Valleius Paterculus The main aim of this thread was not one of self woe or to reopen hurt wounds. It was to put a human face and human emotions to things that happen in this beautiful world that is Second Life encompasses. I know what I had with my ex is over, it will be treasured always by me. But it is over and done with. To coign a phrase she used on me over and over "It is what it is". We are each and every one of us shaped by our own moral codes, principles and thoughts on things. We come to SL for a many tailored reasons and we are changed as we experience and positives and negatives that this world has to offer. We are set awash on this digital landscape. But never lose heart. Always know that in the darkest time, you will rise again. To those who hurt and who have hurted or are hurting still is never stop believing in yourself and what you seek. For it is attainable. I will not be responding again to this thread for I think the thread has reached what it set out to do.I have met new friends from here, people who have Imed me and reached out and said I have touched them. That my words sounded a resonance in them and those who read. This is one of the most viewed topics which tells me many who havent answered have returned back to read more and to find their own feelings and opinions on these matters. And now I say, thanks for all the kindness and the support. Thank you to each responder for sharing the pain and hurt that happened to each and everyone of you. And each of us will rise from the Oceans like Phoenix's into the open sky! In the last few weeks a change started seeping through me, slow at first but it built and I attained a threshold. The final act of my ex not accepting my friendship request was the final spark to light the fires of change. AND positive things have happened. I went on AVMATCH and someone responded and we have been talking. It feels good letting it all go and enjoying the company of another without the past as hinderance. For the new year started early for me - I have finally a year and month said "it is time, Petar" And so it is. I don't know what my future in love will provide me but I know one thing - I am ready to explore. I am none the less weak for my experience but all that much stronger for surviving and fighting back the darkness for this is my new dawn. I have tried to find ways of closing this thread but I can't. But this is my final response, my final message in this thread but I will be around Thank you to all readers, responders. A merry Christmas and festive tidings. And we will all step forward, no more steps backwards. Namaste "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" Man is a rope, tied between beast and overman - a rope over an abyss. A dangerous across, a dangerous on-the-way, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous shuddering and stopping. What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not an end: what can be loved in man is that he is an overture and a going under. I love those who do not know how to live, for they are those who crossover. Friedrich Nietzsche
  14. I am not surprised that i am not the only one who has been hurt and had his heart torn out and in all these posts of sharing from people responding I have seen that I was never alone. But for so long i had anger and resentment for those who stuffed me around but now I am passsed it. In the end all we can give is our hearts and ourselves to another and hope for the best and that they feel the same and trust in them. For Life reaches out to Life and love reaches out to Love. Take heed and take note Bighose, keep on being you and we both will find those worthy women who deserve us. Namaste 
  15. Hi Sonja, I am sorry that you have been hurt a fair few times. But you are right, we will stand up again, it may take a while and some time but we do. In sharing my story, this was my last step to release. Time does heal wounds, i stand by the hommage of "forgiven but not forgotten". Take heart and I hope you find your peace and your love 
  16. Hi Tracy, Thanks for sharing your story, it mirrored mine accept my ex was not married. I for one could never be with a woman in a committed relationship offline, I tried and found it to complex and not for me. It would follow offline as well. I only date women who are single. Someone who is married cannot give you their full attention or heart and it often leaves the other person feeling like a third wheel. And plus I honestly believe a married person or someone in a long term committed relationship is cheating as I for one would never do that. I am glad you met your happiness and ended things. I don't give up hope offline or on SL. I do believe that there is someone out there for me. For so long I was clouded with self doubt but no longer. The love I felt and had for my ex was beautiful, trusting and all encompassing. And I am sure to feel it again. So thank-you again for sharing that beautiful story and all the best for your futures 
  17. JeanneAnne, Surprisingly recently your not the only person to share with me this particular view about SL and for me to change and not take SL seriously would be impossible. 1. SL for me is an extention of reality. Who I am on SL is pretty much who I am offline. We all come onto SL for varied reasons and for me that was well at first exploring and sharing a new world with my ex. Then I learnt how to DJ and I started a club and began some long lasting friendships with people in Oz and around this beautiful world. 2. I mean I use my offline first name - Petar. Yes I understand there is a construct of fantasy but not when we deal with human interaction. To those who see SL as RP that is their right but for me. I treat it as a part of my reality. If I didnt like SL I wouldn't be here honestly. And consequently how I am is I do bring my heart into things, I've tried to not too. But I suppose it is hard-wired that way. For me to change I would have to lie to myself and change the very foundations of who I am and what makes me, me. That I cannot and will not do. And if I open my heart to another again and if it is hurt some will say "I told you so". But Life is about taking those hurts with the beautiful times and living. Living to one's best capacity. 
  18. Yep you American Ladies definitely have awesome accents (yes to us Aussies you do ). I melt, I think I have a fetish for accents from Stateside. In a relationship voice is my preference, so is skype, so is the phone lol.....
  19. Awww UT hugs This band has helped me with alot, lyrics that meant alot as I could reflect and understand cause so many go through what I have been. Here is another song that I dedicate to those who hurt people with illusions and untruths 
  20. Hi Nim, I am sorry you have been hurt and had to have your heart ripped out just like I did. And just like your thoughts I too felt this relationship with my ex was true and existed as any offline one would. I never cheated, never waivered off the course, because I loved her so much and deeply. And unfortunately what did happen to me happens alot to people in many different ways. It just took me a lot longer to get my act together and realise what's done is done. I wish you happiness and the best Nim and hope you find love with a guy that deserves you 
  21. Thanks Canoro, Your words are true and pretty much shaping. My ex's guy once told me "after 5 years maybe she wants something else", and for a long time I fought that but now a year and months later I accept it. I will accept my ex as a friend. But wanting one thing and knowing the other, I realise my future is set on a different track. It is time to open my heart to somebody new. It is time for new beginnings and on the dawn of a new year 2012 - it will happen. I free myself. My ex and our time together will always remain special to me. She will always hold a piece of my heart but she wont hold all of my heart as she once did. Thanks Canoro for your wisdom and it begins - a new dawn, a time for new beginnings. 
  22. Thanks Venus, slowly getting there given time and patience :matte-motes-asleep-2:
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