LiveReport

We interrupt this normally scheduled derailment with a Special News Update Hello Dwellers! I am out here Live at the Lagville Detention Facility where Keli K is no longer in her cell in what appears to be a desperate escape attempt that happen early this morning. To get more information on what happened we are talking to Prison Guard. LiveReport: So Prison Guard I see that you have a two word name does that mean you have been around a while and have seen lots of things like this before? Prison Guard: Yeah, I'ves beens arounds a whiles, go'n ons four's years now or I woulds says but I'ves an't nevers seens anythings like'a'tis. That Keli girl she's just gone off and gone wild. Shes'a Saying where's the red button, where Is the red button, gotta push it gotta push. Next things I's a knows she is rezzing a cake on her hand, I's figures she'a outa hers mind, so's I'sa leave her alone. Wells there's got'ta be's a file in that's cakes or something because when I'sa look''a backs she'a making a run for it with the Facility's Labtop, a jar of Nutella, and a half eaten piece of cake. That's the last I's sees of hers. LiveReport: Authorities caught up with Keli K at MacHappyClown's where she was seen eating a Bacon Egg and Cheese biscuit, dipping her hash-brown in Nutella and washing the whole thing down with an Ice Mocha. Authorities confirmed that she was trying to access SL using a different IP address with MacHappyClown's free WiFi. Unsuccessful she realized the True Lindens had outsmarted her so she turned to the only weapon she had... PhotoShop! She quickly made pictures of the authorities wearing togas at a rave and threatened to post them on the internet unless she could talk to her Lawyer. Fearing what Keli might come up with they gave into her demand. After meeting with her attorney at a exclusive Beverly Hills Hotspot she made arrangements to surrender to authorities this afternoon here at the Lagville Detention Facility. Here she is now, with her Lawyer! (snap, click, flash, zoom) (snap, click, flash, zoom) RumorDude: Is there anything going on with you and your Lawyer? SLPR: Where did you sleep last night is it true you slept on the streets? (snap, click, flash, zoom) NewsChick: What were you and Ms. I doing on that beach in the first place? (snap, click, flash, zoom) Pervert: Is it true you are going to have Ms. I's love child? (snap, click, flash, zoom) TodaysNews: Why did you escape and what did you do once you were free? (snap, click, flash, zoom) Keli K: He is cute isn't he? But No! And No, I stayed up. We were just taking pictures. Prev! I escaped because I was going crazy and all this RL money keeps piling up because I can't spend it in SL. I also wanted to test things, not meaning any harm of course. So here is what I found out, it seems that every computer I have ever used, even the ones without Second Life installed on them, the ones I just used to check my dashboard are now denied access to Second Life. I am guessing even my mom's, who lives 600 miles away, is denied access too. There is no way W.E. would, could or can make it In-World, Second Life's security measures are too good. There is one way I did not try but it would take a lot of time and a lot of Lindens, $L 250,000 for a nice round number. If they want me out that bad I will stay out until they give me permission to enter again. Sometimes a girl's just got to push against the walls to make sure that they are not going to fall over on her. Oh btw I managed to use my niece's Droid to send out a Top Secret Message while I was out. Help me Wa-ter-or-mel-Ka-no-pi you're my only hope! Well there you have it, Keli K is back in the Lagville Detention Facility and we still don't have any official word on Keli I. She is still on life support for now. That is it for this News update now back to your derailment.

We interrupt this derailment with a News Update. Hi Dwellers I am here live at the Lagville Detention Facility where Keli K is out on the exercise court trying to rez some cakes she received. Oh she is saying something let's listen in. Keli K: No rez!, No scripts! Man this would be very upsetting if it was not pizza night tonight! Who cares if the crust is rubbery cardboard, IT IS PIZZA, WITH CHEESE! LiveReport: Camera Man see if you can get a better shot... Camera Man: Okay but we really aren't suppose to... LiveReport: Keli K any update? What's going to happen? Are you going to get a hearing? Keli K: No word yet. I am still feeling a little wasted after the whole Shock and Awe thingy but I was able to take care of two things today. LiveReport: Yes, and... Keli K: I filled out that ticket thing they talk about so much. Thank goodness Torley's Wiki articles are available even in the prison library or I would have no idea what I was doing with that. LiveReport: That is a good start... Keli K: Oh ya I used my one phone call to call the Lab! The person I talk to confirm that I am on Administrative Hold. She started to suggest that if I was having problems logging into the website I might use an alt, but upon my asking I found she had no details of my case... I did not have the courage to ask about Keli I. I tried looking AM up in the documents we have here in the library but I could not find any details. So just to be safe I won't be using an alt (vo). Well there is the dinner buzzer gtg Pizza Night remember. LiveReport: Well there you have it. For more on this story we would like to show the interview we shot with Keli I's Doctor shot earlier today. Doctor: I am afraid Keli I is taking a turn for the worst. Last night she hardly slept and today she won't eat a thing. Not even the mention of Pizza will bring a smile to this girl's face. She just seems down in the dumps. The nurse even filled out her ticket for her but she refused to sign it. We think she is losing the will to live. LiveReport: Soob, soob. I'm so very sorry. How un-reporter like of me. (/me pulls herself together) Well there you have it Dwellers. Thanks to surveillance cameras we have one thing we would like to end the NewsCast with this evening but it comes with a warning: THE IMAGE YOU ABOUT TO SEE IS THE ACTUAL IMAGE OF THE DEACTIVATION OF AN AVATAR. IF YOU HAVE WEAK NECK, FEAR OF FLYING OR NON-MOVING OBJECTS, OR AN ALERGY TO CHEESE YOU MAY WANT TO LOOK AWAY. LET THIS IS BE A WARNING TO ALL AVIS OUT THERE: BE GOOD, BE FUN, BE AWESOME!

We interrupt this derailment with some Breaking News! (Whispering) ...hello dwellers I am back here live at the detention center's medical facility where Keli I is still in critical condition but in but is coming around. Doctors have advised us to be on alert for after she finishes with the priest she may have a statement for the press. ...oh here comes the pastor now... LiveReport: Pastor, Keli I is well enough to speak again does that mean she will be well enough for church on Sunday? Pastor: I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but usually when an avatar asks for a priest it is because they fear the worst. LiveReport: Oh dear. Nurse: The Doctor says it would be alright to speak to Keli now. But I for a minute! Keli I: Thank you so much for being here LiveReport I have something to say. I am ashamed of the pain I have cause to so many of my dear friends and to the Lindens that must have feared the worst when they saw me walking around with that name tag on. What if she tells people they need to pay money to enter that sim, what if she tells them that nudity is okay in G rated areas, what if, WHAT IF...? No wonder they hit me with everything that had. I am so sorry, I did not think all of this through very clearly. LiveReport: Keli I: I want to thank all my friends especially the ones that have come to my bedside in this time of need. I won't name names out of fear of dragging them down with me like I did to my best friend Keli K. LiveReport: Keli I: As I lie on my deathbed I have only 2 wis... oops make that 3, ...yes three wishes, yes three! The first is... Doctor: I am sorry I am going to have to interrupt this as you can see Keli I is getting a little silly again and I think she need her res..... Keli I: LiveReport, Ms. LiveReport please, doctor please, can I ask just one thing. Doctor:............. LiveReport:...... Keli I: Please, please see that Keli K gets this picture. It is the last one I took of us before the Shock and Awe hit. I want her to have it to remember me in case I am not here in the m...... Doctor: NOW THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT TALK YOUNG LADY! Nurse? Nurse: Yes Doctor Doctor: Can you see if you can give Keli I something to help her sleep. (Whispering) I think she was going to wish for Torley to come see her in the hospital. Nurse: A real life Linden in here?!? Doctor: I am afraid so. See if you can get her to rest............. ........... ......... ...... .............. ........ ....... WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED DERAILMENT ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

We interrupt your normal GD Postings to bring you this special update from a central coast beach: That is right dwellers I am standing right here on the very beach where the incidence occurred. It's all cleaned up now (sim restarted, parcels return to owners, environmental settings returned to normal) but this was not the case Sunday morning when two Avies where hit with all the Shock and Awe LL could dish out. IP bans, computer bans, account bans and the removal of forums post. The full arsenal of the LL attack team homing in on one location. Details at this point are still come coming in but here is what we know: Keli K's Avi is in custody and her account is on Administrative Hold as she waits for official communication from the Lab. Keli I (That is a capital "i" not a small "L") is in critical condition in the detention center's medical facility. She is having a hard time remembering anything. Search now brings up nothing for her, it is like she never existed! She keeps mumbling the words "It's just like Katy Perry's hair, it is just like her hair!" For more background on what caused this incidence we are talking live with her doctor. It appears that Keli I (That is a capital "i" not a small "L") was born with an incredible love for Lindens. So much so that as she grew up she liked to think of herself as being a Trans-Linden. These Trans-Linden feelings overwhelmed her life. As these feelings grew she even went so far as to make her name appear more like a Linden by capitalizing one of "i"s. It is in my professional opinion that this is the worst case of lindenitis I have ever seen. Iindenitis is a very rare and is usually a terminal disease that only people that live in San Francisco survive. We think this has something to do with the cheese out there. Since Keli I lives outside of the city her chances of survival and not very good. Thank you doctor. Now for more on this situation we have an interview live form Keli K's cell. LiveReport: So Keli, is it okay if I call you KK and her KI just to make it easier? (Putting her Paris Hilton bookmark in her (now) one and only possession "Cooking with Martha" cookbook and looking up to answer the question: Keli K: Sure LiveReport: So did you believe that KI was a Linden? Keli K: No, not at all I use both usernames and display names so I could see that she was not really a Linden, but I loved her anyways because (looks around and whispers) I love Lindens too. LiveReport: So did you know her long? Keli K: No. She has only been around a week but I friended her on the very first day. We have so much in common. LiveReport: She keep mumbling about Katy Perry's hair any idea what that is about? Keli K: Oh ya, like I totally understand that! You know when you have a favorite star and you go to the hair dressers and you tell them you want your hair to look like them? LiveReport: um....ya? Keli K: Well she is saying her name is like that. LiveReport: ...Okay..? Keli K: When you get your hair done you are not trying to trick anyone into thinking you are Katy you just want to look like her. Same with KI she wasn't trying to trick anyone she was just trying to look like her favorite stars. She even wrote "I AM NOT A LINDEN" in her profile with a link to the official webpage just to make sure that no one got confused. LiveReport: Do you think it confused people? Keli K: No! We were at a party on saturday with over 65 different people showing up and not one asked "Are you a Linden" or "Can I have a bear?" She thought everyone knew it was for play not for harm. LiveReport: So KK what are you going to do now? Keli K: I am not really sure. The website gives is the option to start a ticket but I don't know what that is and if it will help. I am hoping the Lab gives me some idea where I stand. I mean I don't understand if I am getting a timeout or banned or what is going on. Well there you have it. After creating a Display Name written Iiden (Captal "i" i-n-d-e-n) a team of Lab experts were called in to end this evil of Iindenitis. That is the latest for now, we will keep you updated as more breaking news happens. PLUS we will be following up on a lead we have from the rumorville that Keli I was turned over to the authorities from inside the FC Hangout.