darkintokyo

I will send you message. I'd like to talk.

Thanks. This actually made me feel good to know that I don't sound absolutely insane, that some people out there relate. I'm sure there are more than I realize, but of course they keep quiet. I'm slowly trying to put myself in situations but it's hard starting and, as you said it leaves me wanting to run and hide. Thank you for your response.

I'd like to talk in-world. I should log on later. You can send me a message if you want and I'll reply when I get on. Thanks for being a nice first reply.

And I wish that title was a joke. I know that plenty comes in here and say/think that it's ridiculous, and maybe it is, but it doesn't stop the way I feel. I've always been an extreme introvert, naturally shy and very self-conscious. I joined Second Life because it let me try to create. I've been in Second Life for 7 months and honestly, I barely leave my home, instead opting my time to test out models and mess around on stuff in the background. On the off chance, I do leave my sanctuary ( like going Friday shopping ) I get very nervous, and just honestly don't know how to approach people. Or maybe better put: I don't have the guts to approach people. And maybe even paranoid ( I swear I'm only mildly crazy ) that people wouldn't want to talk to me anyway because I don't conform to pretty much any group. I'm not a rebel at all, it's just when you rip and import models from other sources you are bound to stand out even in your nearest proximity community which I think would be the kemono anime like avatar community, but not really that either. And honestly, I tried the typical bento mesh face and Maitreya Lara body once. I could blend it but it didn't feel like me and didn't alleviate any of the anxiety I feel when meeting people. I guess my typical appearances just compounds onto the fact that I already feel a bit different and not in a good way. I know have some hangups that I need to work through but it's a slow process so I'm trying to think as my first baby step despite how long I mulled over post things. I'm looking for people who might like to talk through IM on occasion. Not a therapist or a helper or anything...just a chatbud. I don't expect to find a BFF ( though that would be nice ) I would just like to find someone who I can chat friendly and can take my brand of awkwardness in stride. I don't even care if we don't like the same things. Just because I'm a technology geek with a ginormous love for video games and manga doesn't mean I expect the world to be. I know these posts are sort of like a "sell yourself" type deal and try to explain why someone should contact you. I feel like I did a bad job at and probably sound super boring. So I'll just close by saying something one of my friends I have in real life I've been told as my selling point. She said that I'm like a jittery old cat; self-reliant, easily startled, but a good companion nonetheless. Actually, that probably doesn't "sell" me well either... TL;DR: I joined a social game and have had a lot of fun soloing but am sincerely trying to be more social, little steps at a time.