MayaSmit

I love SL but I would hate being a complete newbie today with how complicated and potentially expensive it is to put together a decent looking avatar. Even after an absence of only a couple of years I still had to rely upon a friend to help me figure out all the new stuff with appliers and bento heads. And it's not cheap either. You used to be able to put together what was considered a good looking avatar for less than $20. Now that's the price of a head alone! Then you need mesh body, skin, hair, AO ($40?). Of course I realise you can still pick up stuff cheaply via marketplace, freebies, group gifts, discounts, sales, events, hunts, and that is definitely part of the fun! And don't get me wrong, working on, putting together and dressing up my avatar is one of my favourite things to do in SL! I just wish it wasn't so pricey, complicated and inaccessible for newbies. PS - I realise not everyone who comes onto SL cares that much about how they look, but I still think it's an issue that this isn't made easier for new residents.

It’s an interesting question and I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s responses. Obviously everyone is different, playing SL for different reasons, and of course I think you can draw as much or as little of your RL self into your SL as you wish. There shouldn’t be any limit on this (anyone who criticises an SL resident for misrepresenting themselves in-world has totally missed the point of SL as far as I’m concerned!!!). Physically In RL I am quite pale, petite and skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes. All these traits I either don’t mind or actually like about myself so I’ve noticed that this carries over into my SL appearance. Even when I try out new things, I always seem to gravitate back to my skin tone, size, hair and eye colour. What’s different? I enjoy making myself more curvaceous in SL, the curves I don’t have but wish I did in RL. Equally my hair in SL is way longer and more voluminous, the way I wish my hair would be in RL too. I also dress more flamboyantly because I can do so confidently without fear of judgement or reproach. Personality-wise is where I have a stronger opinion. As much as you may try to adopt a different personality in SL I genuinely don’t believe this is something you can seriously maintain for any length of time, before your real personality slips in! What’s interesting for me is that I’m sure many people feel more free to express themselves in SL than in RL. So certain personality traits are amplified and allowed to blossom, and this is actually your true personality being given an opportunity to shine rather than being repressed as it might be in RL. This is one of the amazing things about SL! You could almost be considered a truer reflection of your real self in this virtual world than you are in day to day life! Having said that, I’d be very keen to explore more RP in SL, as I love to act and play different characters! But if you meet me in-world and we chat, there’s no way you’re getting anything other than the real me, for better or worse! 😉

Wow, my experiences playing as a male avatar (granted this was a few years ago) was very different! I managed to find lots of clothes on marketplace and in-world at stores and events (The Male Dept etc) and put together a good looking avatar. There were always new hairstyles and skins coming out to try out and buy. Whenever I went to public sims, such as clubs or beaches, I would often strike up a conversation with female avatars, and they would respond and chat to me as normal. I made quite a few friends that way. For any guys struggling to engage in SL, I would suggest two things: 1) Make a bit of an effort with your avatar. Sorry if this sounds superficial, but there are reasons why this is important. Showing up with a basic bad-looking avatar gives the impression that you're not that invested in the game and that you're not that bothered, and perhaps even likely to vanish once you've succeeded/failed in getting cybersex. So sadly, many people just won't respond. Many residents also love to help out noobies and give them advice on decent stores, discounts, sales, events and stuff! It's a fun project. So don't be afraid to ask for help. 2) When you start up a conversation, say something interesting that can prompt a discussion. I won't IM a stranger because I necessarily want to bump pixels, but because something about the way they look or something they said was interesting, and I want to get to know them better. That's how to meet people and make friends, which can also sometimes lead to something more serious. Ask an interesting question! Or say something observational about the avatar or the sim! To put it in RL perspectives. Who do you think would be likely to receive a better reaction? The cool looking guy who engages you in fun interesting conversation, or the strange looking guy who mumbles "hi". SL is no different. I'm far too nice to ignore someone just because they have a poor avatar or bad conversational skills, but I'm a lot more interested in fellow residents who look like they're here for the long haul, have spent some time and put some effort into their appearance, and know how to hold a conversation.

Lol. Read that as *gives soft hugs and shares chocolate starfish*. I was like "whaaaaaa....THAT'S not how you comfort someone". 😂

So Many Elephants Love Lettuce! F R U I T

Gesturbating? - Maybe I just spend time in different sims these days, but a few years ago I'm sure gestures were way more popular and accepted (albeit always annoying). Now it feels embarrassing when one slips out. Bloodlines - Nobody has asked to steal my soul for a long time now. Hug & Kiss HUDS - Remember these? Delicately positioning your avatars to sort of look like you're kissing? Giant avatars - When I first joined, all the ladies were about 8ft tall with 100 inch legs. Tiny avatars - Then a couple of years later everyone was small and curvy. This also accompanied the PhatAzz and Lola Tango craze. Sandboxes - Nobody seems to use or need them these days?

Sounds like we have similar interests Melody! (Horror films and goth fashions). Would be happy to hang out when we're both in-world together. Please say hi! x

As a RL male who plays as a SL female, I make it clear in my profile that I’m here to enjoy the anonymity and experience of living in a virtual world and that I’m open to friendships and relationships in-world, but nothing beyond that. It’s important for me to lay down that distinction. Anyone who asks to Skype or exchange social media account details within the first few minutes of meeting me is clearly looking for a different kind of relationship so I politely decline or cite my “RL boyfriend” as the reason why I can’t do this, then move on. When engaging in conversation with people in-world I’ll happily talk about and be very honest about all aspects of my RL. Gender is actually irrelevant to 99% of my/your daily life, so it’s actually a lot easier to do this without gender being an issue than you may think. I’m also happy for people to share as much or as little of their RL as they like, without any pressure on talking about anything that makes them uncomfortable. So I’m essentially living as a female online. It doesn’t feel dishonest or disingenuous as for all intents and purposes my avatar is 100% female and that won’t change. I’m here to fully enjoy all the benefits a virtual world allows me, and that includes being the gender of my choice, not to deceive or trick anybody. Ultimately I hope to meet fellow SLers who play for the same reason (an escape from reality and an opportunity to express themselves and be who they want to be free from the restrictions of the real world and enjoy a second online existence). Although I identify as a cisgendered male in RL, in SL I play as a cisgndered female and have relationships and share physical intimacy with those who represent as male in-world, despite whoever is controlling them behind the computer screen. It doesn’t matter to me. I am always open to meeting and beginning relationships with RL females playing as a SL male. Any reading this, please do get in touch! 😊 Personally I enjoy the attention I get from male avatars It’s part of the appeal of being female in-world for me. However I appreciate that I have to luxury of not experiencing unwanted attention outside of SL, where it’s much more difficult as a RL female to block or TP away from unsolicited male company. Why do I play as a female? Although I identify as straight (possibly bi-curious), I’ve never been a typical guy’s guy in RL (I despise macho posturing or shows of bravado). So in SL I enjoy the opportunity to embrace/connect with the more feminine part/aspects of my psyche. As someone who has enjoyed all the benefits (and disadvantages if you believe there to be any) of being a man in RL, I also feel it has been beneficial for me to experience living as a female (even if only virtually). Although the experiences may not be comparable, I genuinely believe it has helped me understand and connect more closely with the women in my RL. I also enjoy designing, building and dressing my avatar. As a cisgendered male, I obviously find the female form more pleasing and enjoyable to watch. Female clothes and are also much more fun and there are so many more exciting options. As a SL female I’ve discovered that I can bit of a shop-a-holic, and love putting together cute new outfits, building up my inventory, and finding shoes for every occasion! One thing that won’t/can’t change is my sense of humour and personality. I don’t think that’s something you can ever really change even if you were trying to! I’m probably a bit more flirtatious as a female, but I think that’s also because I’m in the safe and comfortable setting of a virtual world.