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OfDragonFire

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About OfDragonFire

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  1. OfDragonFire

    What are you listening right know.

    Halsey's Eyes Closed.
  2. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I have done enough education throughout this thread. Explained the same ideas over and over again. If you are unwilling to listen, then you are not willing to learn. If you are unwilling to hear marginalized minorities, look back at the ideas you've internalized and find ways to unlearn them, then you are not willing to learn and not willing to be an ally. If you want to learn, you would actually listen to what I and other people have to say, not argue and debate over the validity of our existence and our experiences. You would not ignore the actual issue to address imagined ones - like the tone of the thread or the 'aggressive' language used. All you are doing is ignoring the actual issues faced by trans people and perpetuating harmful transphobic and cisnormative ideas. Us existing and living our lives is not a 'controversial issue', us wanting to connect with each other is not seeking fight or attention. I am done wasting my time trying to make you feel better about our existences - we are here, we have always been here, and we will not be erased.
  3. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    And that's where relearning comes in. You should never assume people's genders, you should ask what pronouns they identify with. I put 'boy with p*ssy' in my profile so people would understand. It gets exhausting, repeating the same conversation over and over again, and using words that hurt me. So it's easier to refer them to my profile. The person in my profile picture is not female, they identify as non-binary. So, please don't misgender them.
  4. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    My body has caused me distress, more than I could put into words, but that does not mean my body is any less male because it does not fit society's standards for maleness. I am a man because that is what I am, that is what I've always been. What we associate with gender is learned, through years and years and years of socialization, and we all end up internalizing it - internalizing these harmful ideas of what it means to be a man or what it means to be a woman. Cisgender isn't the ideal, it is merely one way to be. And gender is not determined by what parts you have or how you choose to express yourself, it's determined by who you are on the inside. It's something... innate, to most people. What caused me most distress about certain parts of my body was the associations tied to them but the more comfortable I grew with myself and my identity as a man, the more comfortable I became with some of them. My chest, it doesn't cause me distress because it's 'female' - it causes me distress because it isn't me. My front hole? I am more than happy with that part of my body, and most of the dysphoria I experience from it is due to cisnormative and transphobic remarks or ideas. You need to learn to move away from these ideas, to unlearn what you've been told about gender and its binary nature, and listen to trans people and their experiences. That's the only way you'd learn. It's the only way I learned, it's the only way I dismantled the ideas that caused me so much....anguish. And while it's not my job to educate you, I am truly happy to answer questions - if they were formed as questions rather than statements meant to shed doubt on the existence of transgender and gender non-conforming people. If you were genuine, I apologize, but your language was truly harmful.
  5. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I never claimed to be innocent. And I have admitted that I could have handled some of the earlier conversations better but I wasn't attacking, I was responding. Maybe my frustration did seep in later in the earlier posts, but it is frustrating when people twist your intentions and call it an attack just because you weren't milder in your language. This is how I speak, it is not an attack, it's just the way I word things. ?
  6. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I did not attack you, I explained. I didn't have to, but I did. If you wish to twist my words and intention and call them an attack, then there's nothing I can do for you. All I could say is this: our existence is not a 'controversial topic' nor is it up for anyone to debate. I've been doing nothing but responding to everyone's questions and getting accused of being impolite for clarifying misconceptions, and it's exhausting. If you truly wanted to learn, you would listen. You would actually read what we've been saying. And you would appreciate that I took the time out to provide you with a good resource to start your research from. I don't need to sit here and watch you invalidate my existence and the existence of people who are not cis. I don't need to take this, but I am, because you claimed you wanted to learn. So, prove it. Do your research and come to me with legitimate questions, not arguments against our existence.
  7. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    It is baffling, how my words managed to get twisted into something they are not. All I did is share my experience and ask for people going through the same thing to find me, so we could create a space that's safe for us and supportive. Yet, instead of sharing this thread with people who might benefit from it, you managed to turn it into a war-zone where our existence and identities are being debated, Where people who have no idea what it means to be transgender define us and redefine us and ignore our voices. Where explaining things is and pointing out why they were wrong or harmful is misconstrued into something they never were. Where we are being told to be 'polite' and turn the other cheek while people insist on erasing us out of existence. And then demand an explanation for something I've explained more times than I can count throughout the thread, and if I don't respond I am 'rude' and 'unwelcoming' And when I do respond, my words are twisted and taken out of context. This, this is exactly why this post was needed. Why that group is needed. Because so many people claim to be genuine in their want to learn, only to argue rather than listen, insist that we are the sum of our parts or that we don't exist whatsoever. If any of you want to learn, here's a helpful playlist on youtube, made by an actual trans person. It's a good place to start.
  8. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I am actually quite binary, haha, but you're absolutely right. Well, to an extent - I am not comfortable with my chest, never was. But having an avatar/character who is comfortable with his body, and is 100% male helps alleviate a lot of the distress and remind me that there's nothing inherently feminine about it. I am a man, therefore my body is male. I am not on hormones in real life to be 'more of a man', I m on hormones so I could feel good in my own skin. I am not having top surgery because I want too look 'masculine', I am having it because my chest is a huge source of distress for me and it never felt like it belonged there. There's no one way to be a man, and being cis or passing as cis is just one way to be that.
  9. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I've explained it in earlier replies. No two transgender people share the same experience. Some transition in every aspect of their lives, some choose to transition socially and not medically, some choose to have top surgery and no bottom surgery, and some choose to go on hormones while others choose not to. I am transgender, I was born in what you are calling a 'female' body but it is my body and there's nothing female about it. I don't need to look like a cisgender man to be a man, I already am one. You are reinforcing the idea that trans people have to look or act a certain way to be valid, and that's toxic not just to binary trans people but to non-binary ones, too. And even cis people who don't conform to society's idea of gender. And to answer your question: no, my avatar doesn't have a *****. There's nothing inherently masculine about *****es, and I am quite comfortable with what I have down there. This, having an avatar that doesn't fit the cisnormative idea of maleness, validates my identity and alleviates a lot of my dysphoria. It challenges the idea that we have to aspire to look cis, as if cis is some ideal. No, cis is not an ideal - it's just one some people exist in this world - and that's not my experience and that's not what makes me feel good. You are asking me why I don't have a male avatar? I do. OfDragonFire is male, whether or not he fits your idea of what a man should look like.
  10. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    Like I said countless times throughout this thread, trans people are different - we all have different needs and different desires. You haven't felt oppressed? That's wonderful, that's a privilege and it doesn't change the fact that trans people are a marginalized minority. Trans is a big part of my identity, of who I am as a person. It is something I am proud to be. Sure, my life would have been far easier if I was cis instead, but even if I could I wouldn't trade who I am for anything. But I am really glad to hear you've had a better experience ❤️ we need more of that, we need happy stories, we need success stories.
  11. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I feel like I answered this over and over again throughout the thread but not all trans people are the same and not all of us fit or want to fit into society's ideas of what it means to be male or female. I am proud of who I am, of my gender; why would I want to hide it? Or erase that part of my identity to make other people feel better?
  12. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    You are not asking questions, you are knowingly invalidating my identity and gendering me improperly. There isn't just two gender, there has never been only two genders - doesn't matter if we are speaking biologically or from a sociological perceptive. Trans people have existed around from the dawn of time. People who don't fit in the binary of genders have always existed. And people who don't fit into the biological label of male or female have always existed, as well. I am a man, I don't have to look or act a certain way to be a man. I don't have to fit into cisnormative ideas of what it means to be a man to be valid. I am comfortable in my gender and comfortable in my masculinity, and there's nothing you or anyone else could say or do to change that. If you want to learn, there are plenty of resources online. But it is evident you don't, it's evident all you want is to be hateful, and I don't welcome that.
  13. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    I didn't say they did, I said it felt like they did. And I know it is wishful thinking but I could at least work towards making a place where no one feels left out or out of place. If you read my post, you would see that it was in reference to the way people treat women or the people they read as women. I did not say I experience misogyny, though I do but the misogyny I live(d) through is misdirected. I've seen it, the privilege maleness gives you - before I came out, even my doctor who was a woman doubted me constantly, acted like I don't know myself or my best interest. When I came out and she started seeing me as a man, it changed - she started listening to me, my words had more weight, more bearing. Though, it wasn't misandry that kept me in a country where I needed my male guardian's permission to leave. It wasn't misandry that forced me to dress in black sheets. It was misogyny. Misdirected, but still misogyny. Please, show me where I have 'over-compensation of machismo' - maybe I did get angry, but it's my right to be angry at the oppression I face as a trans person.
  14. OfDragonFire

    Trans People, Assemble.

    You are absolutely right in so much of what you said. I am not a woman, have never been one and will never truly understand what it is like to be one, but I was socialized as one and read as one for my whole life and I can honestly say (some) cis male entitlement to what they perceive as an object of their interest is not determined by what the person is wearing or what they have in their profile. If I learned anything from being on Second Life or on dating apps, it's that these people almost never read profiles - they see an attractive person, specially a woman or someone who is read as one, and they feel entitled to that person's body. It's frustrating, though I deal with it far more on my female avatars than I do on my male ones. That's the world for you, misogyny is just so wonderful. (sarcasm, people. Don't take it out of context.) All that aside, trans people are often ignored and silenced, and it felt like a lot of the people responding just wanted to shut us up - to invalidate our existence and experience. Regardless of where I hang out or what I want, I should receive the most basic of human decency - it is not too much to ask. And wanting to create a group for trans people, where we can... share our experiences with people who are going through similar things, with people who would listen and support us, is all I wanted. I had plans, to prepare NC to send to people who are confused or don't understand gender and sexuality. I had plans, to put a list of incredible resources together - there are many on youtube - and expose them to those. But I also had plans to create a community, a place for trans people to come and hangout and talk, and for allies or those who wish to learn to join in and listen. Maybe one day, we'd do talks and discussions. But we need to start somewhere.
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