I feel your pain! I've been looking for:
Text-based roleplay sim
Modern day realism
Nicely decorated (can be rundown etc, but at least realistic looking)
Allows kid avis
Organized structure with some rules
also wanting the community aspect of residences, fire dept, school, etc.
Maybe if we were to get a group of us together long enough to show the support for such, then it might happen with enough contribution. I'm not sure if family communities start out wanting realistic RP and fold to the needs of a business or if they simply aren't looking for that in the first place. It'd be interesting to interview family communities and get their thoughts and experiences! I'd be willing to find out more. Keep in touch! Don't give up. My dream is to be an elementary school teacher with focus on realism, heavy RP and perfect attendance as a teacher. Kids need stability.