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Pomeline Pancake

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Everything posted by Pomeline Pancake

  1. Regarding respect, yes ma'am. SL you isn't autonomous from rl you. Both are inextricably linked.
  2. Five is my fave. Grouchy, funny old man in an adolescent body. Vanya least fave. It seems kind of selfish to blow the world up because she's sad. Fave part probably the dynamic between Klaus and Ben. I'm a sucker for odd duos. What are your fave parts? Any theories or hopes for s3?
  3. It isn't arrogant to have preferences and standards. It isn't imposing if he only expects those values from the woman he's in a relationship with. What's actually arrogant is that she felt she had a right to take up his time and heart based on a lie. Her desire to cheat was more important than his feelings. That's arrogance. To be concerned about lying in his most intimate connection isn't immature. There's no gray area for breaching the op's clearly defined boundaries numerous times. How many lies did she tell him to continue cheating behind his back? Each time she made the choice to lie she eroded his trust. That's disrespectful. She isn't entitled to what he had to offer simply because she decided to "explore" herself in secret. Call me old fashioned but it doesn't change how important honesty and respect is in all spaces. Even gamified ones. At the end of the day choices made online are extensions of our rl selves. There's no way to separate the two in a logical way. This doesn't mean a person is unable to grow. But one cannot truly grow without owning one's misdeeds to the fullest, acknowledging how those misdeeds have harmed others, and trying one's best to not repeat said misdeeds again. -------------------- I'm no paragon of virtue. I've made many mistakes when interacting with others, and will continue to make many more. In all kinds of relationships. Be it family, friends, or lovers. I don't excuse or sugarcoat my actions. When I've done wrong, I've done wrong. I own my actions, and try to make it right to the person I hurt. Guess what I'm trying to say the most is that mental gymnastics are confusing. I find them hard to follow and understand. Though I genuinely hope op gives his relationship time to evolve, since they're already together irl.
  4. I'm also a gamer, and not implying that sl is superior. Graphically and in many other aspects, absolutely not. But having a real life simulation where people interact with other real people and build lives much like they would in real is going to hit differently. Psychologically and emotionally. "She Portrayed herself to be genuine, honest and sharing the same values as I did. We eventually got into an SL relationship and build a home together. I am big on monogamy, trust and being loyal to who I choose to spend my time in sl with. I am picky like that and I feel we spoke and talked about things in great detail before moving things forward. I was assured that we were on the same page." "I now find out that she was all about men and sex on sl when she joined. She did it all while maintaining her innocence to me. She also cheated on me on sl whilst we were living together in sl." He believed they were on the same page, and considers what happened to be cheating.
  5. SL isn't Call of Duty. You wouldn't be able to work as a prostitute that runs an escort agency in Tomb Raider. It's flippant to compare real games to a virtual world. His gf agreed to his values and took sl seriously enough to be with him in real life. The "game" isn't as frivolous as she claims. She wouldn't have met the op otherwise. If a partner says sl cheating counts as cheating, it's a legit deal-breaker. Everyone is allowed to make boundaries within reason, and have their partner respect them. He doesn't need to repair their broken trust. It's 100% on his girlfriend to earn it again.
  6. Dishonesty about core values is a major red flag. Those that claim sl is morally different are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions. Exceptions to one's integrity in sl are first and foremost decisions made in a person's irl mind. It's natural to have doubts. But people make mistakes all the time. There's room to grow and change. Maybe if she apologizes and respects your relationship boundaries from this point on, let it go. Ask her to protect and nurture your relationship by avoiding temptations in the future. Genuine connection and love is rare. If you can move forward, do it and be happy together irl. In my sl to rl situation, she lost interest in sl years ago. I don't worry about her wanting to find a side piece, but the extra layer of security is still nice. Maybe the both of you could limit your time in sl? Idk. Ymmv.
  7. Ah very perceptive. lol What a beautiful love story.
  8. You're right. I shouldn't have generalized an entire group. People that try to understand themselves, their patterns, and do the least amount of harm are brave. It cannot be easy to live with a cluster b disorder. I feel for you. However the individuals I met were very unhealthy. They had no desire to change. Because of blind spots due to autism, I learned difficult lessons about internet and emotional safety. I'm not capable of managing such relationships, and that's okay.
  9. Yas! Vibin' with your old school goth choices.
  10. Truly sorry for what you're going through. I hope you make it out of your situation okay. 2020 has been a dumpster fire. The loss of stability and loved ones... Well there are no words fit to comfort. It's a shame that some people you know are abusing the system. Unfortunately there's no other way for others to make it in this world if they're severely impacted by a disability. Not an exhaustive list: quadriplegia, paraplegia, loss of limbs, spina bifida, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, blindness, deafness, traumatic brain injury, stroke, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, narcolepsy, severe ptsd, schizophrenia, fetal alcohol syndrome, intellectual disability, down syndrome, tourettes, and autism spectrum disorder. Everyone could benefit from kindness and help in these times. Abled and disabled alike.
  11. I'm not friend material atm, but wish you lots of luck.
  12. It's easy to live and let live when big attention seeking overtures are kept to a minimum. If people push their lives and agendas into public view, the public will respond. Especially when it concerns values.
  13. 3 people is enough to start a group. Good luck.
  14. Never is a strong assertion. Young adults and minors are in sl. Predominantly in the furry, feral animal, MLP, and fictional roleplay communities. The ones I met aren't interested in the middle aged version of a typical sl. But they are here. They find uses for the application. My only solid friend group made years ago was 19-25. Verified because we became rl friends, met in person, and continue to keep in touch to this day. However winning over a huge percentage of younger millennials and older gen z is unlikely. They tend to see sl as a boring, laggy game for housewife karens to live out fake slex lives. Of course there's more to sl, but the aforementioned reputation is unappealing to people of all ages. Hence the smaller amount of sl users in general. Nonetheless. Forumers can continue to assert that young people have no interest here, but a specific population of them will continue to exist in sl anyway. (not directed toward you specifically, simply an assumption that's been repeated a lot on the forum) It is what it is.
  15. Aww. K-pop is dandy. But I see where you're coming from. I'm a big weirdo. Brought a few rl people to sl with no success. BUT having just the symbol that other users will recognize gives off a secret club kind of vibe.
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