[5 years later ...]

I was out of it for 7 or 8 years, and was likewise mystified when I came back.  I now have a Slink Original body (too many of the others seem to be designed for absurdly large breasts, including the other Slink body) and a Lelutka head.  But!  No rush.  Indeed, if you mostly wear clothes that cover much of your body, the system avatar has some advantages.  It's simpler, but also you can use the alpha masks that come with clothes and you're actually probably more likely to get clothes working without skin poking through than you are with a mesh body.

Spend time with demos.  I eventually bought *two* Lelutka heads because eventually I decided I didn't like the way the corners of the lips folded on the first one; I didn't notice that right away.  (There go those L5000!)

 

There is no need to go with *the* most popular body or head, but you want *a* popular one.  My Slink body isn't the Matraiya body that seems to have most of the mindshare, but nearly everything that has custom sizes for mesh bodies has a Slink size.  (This may be in part because the Slink folks are more willing to give out Dev kits.  I'm building a small business with some mesh clothes.  I applied for Slink, Matraiya, and Belliza Dev kits and only heard back from Slink.  Lucky for me that is the body I actually wear myself!)

 

While the look of the body or head is important, what's more important in choosing the brand is the HUD that comes with it.  You'll use this more than you expect; it's not just for one-time configuration.  You'll need it often when changing clothes or makeup.  Make sure you like and can work with the HUD in the demo.  For the body or head, you don't have to take it as-is, but can (usually) modify it with a shape sliders.  ("Bento" heads are the mesh heads that do this.). Play a lot with the demos.  You also aren't restricted to the skins that come with the body or head, as there are lots of great third party ones out there.  (I got mine from YS&YS, and have also used Esode.) (I can't find a reference in world or on the web to the store that I got my old skin from 9 years ago... the world moves on, some things are forgotten!)

 

[Things you can say in SL, but would be weird in RL]

"Your butt is poking through the back of your skirt; use your HUD to make your butt transparent."

[Things you can say in SL, but would be weird in RL]

"Alt-zoom on that to see it better."

[Looking for sci-fi stuff]

Years and years ago there was a light saber construction kit (LCK).  I have one, and it still works.  I don't know if it's still available in-world anywhere.

[Avatar Complexity and the servers]

On 12/20/2017 at 6:53 AM, BilliJo Aldrin said:

Sometimes, they look better as jellies.

Also true in real life.

I generally try to keep my ARC under 100,000.  I'll echo what some others say; there is sometimes a single object that shoots your complexity way up, and it's way out of line with what that object needs.  Some designers are better than others at making mesh objects that don't use way too many polygons.  Sometimes you get something that looks like it ought to be simple, but is way over-subdivided.

[Looking for Friends! :3]

I fit about 80% of your description.  (From 2007 or 2007, out of it until recently, discovered mesh is the thing and redid avatar and wardrobe, into tabletop RPGs and video games, uninterested in virtual sex.). I am manga ignorant, and my other hobbies tend to be more sci-fi or computer related than cooking, sewing, and garden related.

Have you tried looking for in-world groups relevant to your interests and events?  One nice new thing is that there are highlighted destinations, which gives you some places to check out; back in the day, we didn't have that.  Also, lots (most?) of the groups you have left over from back in the day are probably dormant or dead.