DeepBlueJoy

TL;DR version. I like my Slink Physique body and I'm sticking to it. If i ever had to change, it would be ebody, b/c both of these bodies can achieve decent normal proportions. I own Slink Physique because after trying all the major bodies and many, many, many minor ones (and building shapes for each of them) before i bought the Slink, I decided it was by far the easiest to make look like a normal, well proportioned body. The breasts and curves and crotch gap all look like a normal person could have them. Some of the other bodies look like cartoons, even especially when you try to proportion them like real humans. Some of them have a ridiculous bias toward huge hips and breast melons, and if you make them anything but emaciated, you cannot have NORMAL width shoulders or arms that aren't skinny sticks. This is not a look I have any use for. Those proportions, if they existed in reality, would result in a woman who could barely lift anything. Weakness and uselessness in a woman is not sexy to me. Many SL bodies are biomechanically improbable. Some are just impossible and look deformed. None of my friends have huge heads, tiny shoulders, and flipper hands with giant rears and 'headlight' sized melons...😜🙃 Nope! It's unlikely I would change my body. The only thing about the physique that I am less than thrilled with is the way the alphas work on the HUD. I wear some 5 size mesh b/c I do a lot of fantasy/unreal stuff and some of those clothes were made by people who are long gone from SL and unlikely to update and some of them are exquisitely made. Unlike some of my friends, I don't resize my body. I created a body to reflect my 30 year old self - though I was more athletic than I look in SL. Sadly, there is NO body or skin combo that I've found that looks like a female, feminine, ELITE athlete. Apparently, we must all look like porn stars on steroids or fainting maidens who cannot lift a pebble. Unless someone creates a body that can have muscles (but isn't a muscle bound fugly weightlifter body) I'm unlikely to change. I actually stayed with my system body for a long time because I could make it look more muscular, but after a while, I wanted a smoother less jagged look. When i wear my fallen gods skins, I wear the male part of the body skin with the woman's head applier - one reason I'm not all that turned on by BOM for skin. Most 'normal' male skins don't work as well, however because apparently, the SL male is supposed to be part monster! If I bothered to buy another body it would probably be the ebody. Runners up would be some of the better Altamura bodies (my alts have Altamura or ebody) or Belleza. There are several that I would never buy, either for weird proportions or unreality or for the lack of quality of their HUDs. Ease of use matters to people. Realism matters to some of us too.

Hi... I know how hard it is to find really nice stuff for men in general, but it seems to go double for black/African American avatars. I'm trying to help a friend create a decent one that doesn't look like a caricature or a big 'monster' urban thug creature. (truly hate that look) Any suggestions that you might have would be appreciated. Also looking for clothing that would appeal to someone who appreciate things from Africa and the Caribbean in particular. NOT looking for the 'ghetto' or 'thug' look. Looking for something a bit more refined - something friendly and pleasant but manly that a normal person would like to go around wearing. Thank you much!

I like the slink male body. It actually resembles a real body. it seems they mostly make clothes for those burly-men monster-looking 'manly' beast bodies I hate so much in real life and second life. sad. There doesn't seem to be enough decent clothing for men in SL period, but the fact that men don't shop a lot is likely a disincentive to creators of menswear. I think that is why so many men walk around looking like monster man or channeling Mr Ruth. Not sure what the solution is, but my RL hubby is in SL and finding him a masculine but non-aggressive look that both he and I enjoy has been a trial. This goes double for men of color, btw. I don't know any 9 foot tall men who are 5 feet wide with 2 foot equipment. I don't want to. Edit: seriously though, if you look carefully, you can find Slink clothing and a lot of 5 sized mesh also fits OK, partly b/c a lot of men's clothing is usually symmetrical and covers blocks of their bodies, so it's easier to alpha things out than with female clothing. Slink may not be supported enough, but it is still supported a fair amount.

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Thank you. Manana. Gonna go to bed. If it isnt there in the AM i will file a ticket. Was an odd day in sl. The sim where i rent was offline/unavailable most of the day. No idea why. Tired now.

No stipend yet. Nearly 9pm slt

It's called society, in and out of real life. Respect for life and the agency of others.... Respect for the idea that other people have a right to live their own lives their own way is what makes society. No society exists when people decide to violate that. I've been in countries where there's a break down of society. They're not fun places to live. For some reason, most of us in SL don't like to live in that kind of world. Doors simply signal that people want you to stay out. There's nothing to stop people entering most places other than choice... real world or second life. Decent people who want to live in some semblance of order don't life the troll/thug life. You don't have a right to violate others even if they don't choose to live frightened, locked up lives... which is what you're saying is the ONLY alternative to having their space invaded. Basically, those who say this have two opinions of the rest of us: Those of us who don't live in security zones are idiots and they should expect to be invaded and abused. Those of us who do live in security zones are horrible people and should expect to be hacked and will be called mean and evil for trying to have private space. So, the only thing that is acceptable is that we should want to be walked all over? That's ridiculous. And that's what you're basically trying to create, right? A world where you can bully EVERYONE who doesn't willingly let you violate them. What does that make you? Sociopaths? Oh, OK. Thanks for the warning. Thanks for showing your true colors. I don't need permission to use space I PAY FOR. I don't need to have to kick you out when I want my space available for my use, YOU DO. And if you don't behave like a decent human, I reserve the right to exclude you.

I like the life where I'm welcome and an active part of other people's lives with friendships and companionship. You are familiar with that, right?

Odd. Because no one is shooting them, giving them 'health' or any other game type things. This doesn't function like a game unless you go to one of those sims where there's zombie killing or such going on. The fact that if you go flying in your early days of SL you'll get booted off private property, and generally get a notice saying you're not allowed there and will be booted... well, that should tell people that there's public and private. Linden would help some if there was a part of the initial tutorial that told about public and private. When you go to some sims, you get a covenant notice handed to you, but I know most people don't bother reading that. When I went to faery crossing I was educated that there were certain places not to go (not inside people's private homes), and certain etiquette (don't cam into people's private homes) not to do. And we were asked not to litter, not even in places where we were allowed to rez. I think it would be useful if there was more of that kind of education going on. No, you cannot force people not to go in -- bad actors will always do what they want, because they are bad actors. In real life, only thieves and home invaders go into private homes without permission. We generally put them in prison. If you are obstinate or narcissist enough to believe that your obnoxious, disruptive, childish and selfish behavior is the ONLY way to do things, then you will probably eventually end up in prison or jail in the real world. At minimum, you'll have few friends. In SL, the consequences are more that you'll be seen as a nasty little bully, a griefer and generally the lowest form of SL life. If that makes you happy, please yourself. But don't be surprised when people find ways of excluding you from their space and their existence. I've blocked and banned only a handful of people in my time in SL, but that, IMO is their loss. I've met others who after polite and pleasant interaction have become friends and who've been given invitation and access to my space and even my home. People have done the same for me. I love being part of their lives and having them be part of mine. I'm welcome in some really cool places in SL... places that rude, trollish people are routinely excluded from. Guess which life I like best!

No, because not everyone is you.

I did not think that it was possible to prevent camming.

In spite of my expeiences and demands that my spaces be respected, I disagree with almost nothing you have written. I dont like the yellow crime scene tape/jail bars either and the black boxes or big parking lots are way too familiar forms of blight. I love open. I love privacy. I hate blight.

Took me one attempt to fly and being booted to adult hub hell to learn about security orbs

My orb reaction time is not that great either. I have put a few special landmarks into my favorites bar at the top of my screen. From before I had a home, i had places I could TP to fast, when i had a wardrobe malfunction or got orbed. It is easier to click one of these than to type any LM.

Why dont i have an orb or nasty yellow lines? The same reason i don't have a moat or a ten foot wooden privacy fence around my real life property. Other than a (potential) thief and the neighborhood wild life no one in their right mind would consider sitting on my lawn chairs or trying the doors to my house. Unlike a lot of third world countries I have lived in, most neighborhoods I have lived in in the US have unfenced yards and no 'burglar bars" on the windows. Most people respect that invisible fence. Those that don't tend to end up in jail or occasionally get shot. Even people walking their dogs try to keep them from their neighbors' yards. No one says "if you dont want me in your house, you should put up a high fence or I will come in and use your house - which you should accept as long as I dont take anything" No one expects me to fence myself int my own personal prison - with a fence that harms my enjoyment of the property and makes it look - and feel - like prison. For me yellow lines feel hostile. Lack of them is not a welcome mat. My door mat makes it clear that the house is private. The sign on the edge of the property says PRIVATE PROPERTY. Isn't that enough? I only ban people I find misbehaving inside property lines, or who enter my actual house. That is an automatic ban (which also ejects them). The area around my home is a prvately-owned public space, so the sim *does* get visitors. Our landlady gives all entering visitors notice that private property IS private and mostly, this is respected. Flight is not allowed outside my property lines, so fly thru is not an issue. When I find very new people on my land, I educate them, because when I was new people educated me. Sane people are respectful and leave. Occasionally, someone is abusive, and they go flying. If the behavior is egregious enough I report it to my landlady and they will get banned from the sim. I am pretty private, but I try to remember how clueless I was 4+ years ago... And how curious. But i respect that others feel a need to use their security. I have house securit. I could turn on, but seldom have, and all my houses have had closable blinds of some kind. I do set it so I cannot be seen or heard outside my lines - so my (mostly G rated) activities remain private unless you trespass.

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Fortunately, those of us who want privacy have ways of ensuring it. Those who've an opinion they should be able to trample our peace can be excluded and if they cry selfish, I will simply laugh, and change my pixel clothes unmolested. The attitudes that have been demonstrated are further evidence that our need for privacy and controls is real. I'm not interested in proving that I'm better or superior or right. I just intend to police my personal space. What others do in their space, in public spaces, of which there are many and empty... i have no objection nor opinion. I will not allow them to have objection or opinion to what I want to be able to do inside the boundaries of my paid for personal space, digital or otherwise. I think at least part of the divide is between those who have opinions on whether this is real or not real. Those of us who experience this as a personal environment and not 'merely' a game, feel protective of 'our' space. Those who say 'it's just pixels' believe they have a right to move freely... even if other people put time and effort into spaces they want to enjoy. The interesting thing about this is that ALL life is a chemical process and all EXPERIENCE is in our minds. So what is real and what is unreal is very murky. How we feel when someone violates us here is not that different from when it happens in the physical world. This is because our ego, our emotions, our mind... the chemical processes that we undergo when we have any experiences... they all occur wherever we are. We cannot leave them behind. Therefore, we can be hurt here... even if 'damage' is 'off'. And since I won't solve the internet today... I'm gonna go off and live in the dangerousness of that other world for a bit. After all, it's that world that pays for my internet. In SL I may some day make the money I need to sustain that... which tells me there's 'real' here, even if SL money won't make me rich. Forums such as this can be a place for exchange and we can all learn from each other, if we're willing... but I cannot fix you and you cannot fix me. And that is (probably) a really good thing!! 😜

I make no apologies to anyone for wanting ONE space in my life where I can do precisely as I please, unmolested by anyone or anything not of my choosing. My second life home is one place I know I can do as I please and be at peace. I don't apologize for it and won't compromise on it. I come to Second Life because I find something here I don't in 'real' life. A chance to create for myself spaces that belong completely to me, that reflect me and that feel safe. A lot of introverts gravitate to Second Life. We draw energy from our alone time. For some, it's in collecting endless tchotchkes. For some it is meeting like minded individuals. For some it's decorating our own idiosyncratic space exactly as we wish... or just sitting on a beach or in a sky build where we can surround ourself by whatever we want... and avoid what we don't want. Why should we have to answer to someone -- anyone -- else for this? We should not. It is not mean. It's not entitled. It's entitlement of the worst sort that people who don't pay anything think they should be able to come into my space -- and yes, it is MY space -- and have sex, change clothes, entertain friends -- and be abusive when they are discovered. I was changing my clothes in my ATTIC of my very first house, when I was very, very new to SL... when someone dropped through the roof. The ground floor was nice and open... but they didn't come through the door. They came thru the roof... Into my bedroom. Where I was stark naked. Fortunately, I was on a Faery Crossing sim, and I called for help... and the fae arrived en masse. Never had I felt so cared for. When I'd been bullied, when I'd been sexually abused, when my abusive ex had hurt me until there was little left of my self, there was NO ONE standing with me. It was a small incident and yes, it was just my pixel body that was exposed. But the psychological effect of that could have been so different... yes, I suppose I could have run from MY house and never gone back, if he'd taken his business out and menaced my pixels... but thankfully, it did not get to that. I actually did dress and tp outside, leaving him inside MY home, but I didn't have to wonder if I'd be safe. I know of at least TWO people who've been pixel raped by people who ran scripts on them that they could not get loose from. Yes, they both ended up shutting down the ugly spectacle of watching their pixel bodies being tied down and had sex with... but frankly, as in real life, both were so startled (and so new) that initially they didn't think to do that... they tried to get away... and found they could not. One thing I know as an abuse survivor... it's NOT THE PHYSICAL ABUSE THAT LEAVES THE SCARS. NO scar is so huge as feeling helpless, useless, violated, and unable to control anything. You feel unworthy, unclean, and TO BLAME. You feel stupid. You KNOW that you're never actually truly safe in the world, and that NEVER EVER EVER goes away. EVER. (6x10^23) SL is not inherently dangerous or inherently benign. It reflects the worlds we all come from and in some ways a lot more brutally because people are (a) more themselves (b) know they can hide behind pixels to perpetrate behavior that is heinous in any format. I always laugh when people tell me that they're entitled to what is mine. Because in the real world, those people always protect what is theirs. They want to have free access to my tiny corner of the world AND yet, what is theirs is also theirs. Sorry, as we say where I come from 'nutting no go so!' I am as liberal and free as the day is long... open even. I don't mind people sitting on my beach when I'm not there... though I do prefer not having to ask them to leave when I arrive wanting to be alone... or when I tp onto my land after a wardrobe malfunction... to find a couple copulating on my front lawn... because I have 'no see em, no hear em' turned on. Just... A world of no! I don't actually feel i need to explain to you why I don't want to have to ask permission to use my own land... yet, that is what it comes to when people don't respect my space, and particularly, my house. As I said, I've never put up yellow lines... so i don't try to make life difficult for others. I found myself booted enough times when I was young and clueless, and discovering flying, to be thoroughly irritated by orbs that don't give you enough time to even react and go elsewhere before you find yourself in an adult hub with a bunch of scary, often naked people... because old-timers have houses, but newbies have nowhere to go, and NO clue they're doing something wrong until they end up in adult hub hell. As a very smart person said earlier, I believe Linden needs to demarcate private vs public estates clearly. But no, I don't want anyone in my house without my express permission, EVER. I prefer if people who are walking or flying just pass through and don't hang around, but I don't (and hope I never have to) put up barriers. But I do understand why the people who've had creepy stalkers hanging around them and making alts to stalk them do put up crazy security. It's unpleasant, but sometimes it's a reaction to having would be pixel rapists fall through your roof. I'm here for my own sanity and joy. I need to feel safe here. I create spaces for this and I don't need to apologize to you for not letting you into my bubble bath, my bedroom, or my PAID FOR pixel space.

There is much merit in what you say. I am actually *not* eager for it to change radically. As long as it does not go away. But as long as it has commerce, it will probably shuffle along for a while. It is a uniquely creative space - which is why I love it, but also why I fear for it. Society is often unkind to creative oddness and most of us are at least a little bit odd! 🙂

Betamax won. Wait, no, the inferior VHS format won. HD DVD also lost to the Blue ray format even though some said HD DVD was better. The best product does not always win. There is a popular mesh item that "everyone" buys that I am of the opinion is inferior to several of its competitors - but right place, right time, right answer to the problem needed solved. So some other lesser product could be an SL killer, particularly if SL doesn't try to address the aging architecture and ease of use issues. TL;DR Sometimes, ease of use is everything.

This makes so much sense. I totally agree

I blame LL for not educating people about this. I will admit i had no idea initially. I don't like yellow lines and dont erect them. I do have a private sign on the edge of my property. People who pass through the land as they explore (often from the non sign side) don't bother me. Misbehavior is met by immediate banning, which also ejects them from my land.

Stuff like this happened to me. After walking around for 10 minutes underwater (dark) in a man made ravine with vertical sides, and discovering that flying was not allowed there, I think i ended up logging off and putting 'home' in the log in, which took me back to (i think) the training island from which i was immediately ejected (i had no home) But at least i was out of the ravine! PS: pretty sure i logged off several times and returned to the same spot first. Either it did not occur to me to teleport or i could not, don't remember why.

I agree. I agree. I agree. Now, I'm gonna go sleep. Thanks for sharing and for saying what I wanted to say and saying it better! Peace, Blue

Nope, not interested in having strangers inside my house. My land is free to walk, but i don't tell people where I live unless they are close friends. Strangers aren't welcome inside my house. Basic manners. If the doors closed and no one invited you, don't go in. If I'm using it, I don't really want visitors other than those I invited. Anyone just hanging around? Well, that would creep me out. There's plenty empty space in SL. If you want an empty space, go find one. You want a house, you pay rent. I pay rent. I pay for being premium. I am not gonna facilitate your squatting. And I'm not interested in stalkers. Not fun.