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fireandheart

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About fireandheart

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  1. In my experience in sl most guys do not want much to do with other guys. I'm sure it's different for women to women, but in my experience, most guys want little more than a hello and how are you. This is the opposite of rl where most of my closest friends are other guys. I've just chalked this up to nothing more than other men more or less only wanting to invest time in other women to score or be involved with emotionally.
  2. I would say without question that taking things slow is the key, but a large portion of people don't do it that way in sl (I'm being hesistant in using the world "most"). I think many who are open to the idea of companionship allow it to happen ridiculously fast (and words such as "love" enter the picture fast too) and then they end up getting hurt. I would agree that paranoia/insecurity are another big factor, but that is part and parcel of sl. A lot of people (males and females) are into the idea of having their cake, and eating it too (i.e. they want someone close, but also very much want to be able to go out and stray) and they will leave the other person hanging high and dry. SL is a virtual world. Noone can prove or disprove that another person is running an alt (unless of course if they reveal that fact to another person).
  3. While your intentions are interesting and valid Flapman, I would venture to guess that the real secret involved in successful SL relationships (as in ones that lasted more than say a year) involved the parties meeting in RL. The vast majority of SL relationships are short (average 3 months or so), fraught with drama (such as but not limited to alts and/or cheating), or in the worst cases were based upon lies.
  4. I think it's whether or not it matters to the person. Some people choose not to even attempt to verify the RL gender of the perosn in question (like voice, for example), and for those people - I suppose it may not matter to them. Anyone who has been in sl long enough knows, for example, how common it is for men to play female avatars in sl. Ignorance can sometimes be bliss, but I've heard stories of people who've gotten involved in longtime relationships with someone presenting themselves of the opposite gender, and this sometimes causes great pain and confusion when the truth is revealed.
  5. True love in sl? The average relationship in second life lasts a grand total of 3 months. In that time, usually both parties invest their emotions heavily in that situation, and 3 months later they're left feeling profoundly hurt. I've read your replies in this thread, but I'm almost begging the question just how long you've been in sl, and just how many relationships you have been in here? There are exceptions for the relationships here that span years, but most old-timers in SL have long since given up the possibility of finding true love here.
  6. The biggest problem I have with relationships in SL is that they are usually done and overwith in an average span of about 3 months. In that time, both people will usually feel powerful emotions, and then in a matter of months it's all overwith. Yes, there are exceptions to this, but they are in the vast minority. And I've heard all too often of people who will then dive into another relationship, sometimes in a span of less than two weeks (24 hours is not unheard of). And while I lack a degree in psychology, I often wonder just how healthy it is for someone's psyche to do that. I applaud the people who find and manage to maintain a healthy relationship in sl, and people who manage both RL and SL in a healthy way. But all too often this is not the case.
  7. Hi - I know that this question has likely been asked many times, but my question is fairly direct. I'm interested in finding popular places that aren't romantic or sexually-centric where people go to actively seek out friendly conversation. Thanks!
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