[Bath or shower?]

I should point out that “co-bathing” with the right person is very special.

So long as you don’t have anywhere to be any time soon......

 

[Bath or shower?]

Shower in the morning after my exercise torture session. 

Baths as needed in the evening to manage stress, clean up, or if I have company planned. Bath-time frequently involves something aromatic and a trashy book I would not be caught dead with anywhere else 😉

The downside of showers;

[SL Curiosity: Showing Less = More]

I heart Stevie Nicks 🙂

My Partner is amazing and never once suggested I should change. Unfortunately, SL has the rep of being Sin City so sex tourists are a thing.

SL has a definite learning curve...socially.

 

[SL Curiosity: Showing Less = More]

42 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I love finding really nice outfits or pieces.. I get so warn out on seeing so much skimpy things..

About all i wear anymore that is skimpy is a bikini at the beach pretty much..

I love overalls, turtle necks, Nice fitting jeans with nice jean textures, Summer dresses and things like that.. Nothing too fancy really..

One thing I hate is how bright some colors can be.. Reds, pinks, whites and other brights, just seem like they are hard to find ones that works.. I'm pretty dark myself so that may have something to do with it.. But I have found some whites and brighter colors that don't feel like they are glowing..

I have this strange fascination with shades of Orange..........I need to really try to control it....

[SL Curiosity: Showing Less = More]

I’ll start this by saying that I am probably the opposite of a prude.

On any normal day I make sure my behavior conforms to “accepted” certain social norms because (a) I love someone I want to stay with and (b) people tend to get all stabby over relationships and I want to keep the murder-rate low.

Anyway, I DJ in Second Life and lately I noticed something interesting after I made a wardrobe-change while working (not WHILE working - before I went to work).

I’d reached a point where “dressing for club work” was hard to distinguish from another (older) profession; and the some of the COVID-influx of new Residents/guests were having a hard time discerning the difference.

I have a Partner in SL whom I want to keep, and the constant barrage of “how much sweetie?” From avatars under 30-days-old was starting to make me feel like *I* was doing something that might make my Partner (who also DJs) feel like I was running a side-business.....

So I changed how I dressed. Necklines went up, hemlines went down -  but I did bother to buy stuff that was good quality from good designers.

I was thinking that “Draw” and Tips were about to go down, but I was willing to pay the price. I have a wonderful Partner (who never said anything to me about how I dressed)

Oddly, the opposite happened.

What DID drop was the “Oh, I thought you were a hooker” messages, but tips + draw actually climbed over the past month.....

Now, it may be because I changed my format and really leaned into the “80’s” niche (Pop,Alt,Metal) and I suspect that market is bigger in SL than anyone will admit because we have “lots of people who remember the 80’s” (like me) who also LOOK 20-something here......  Anyway, I look more like what was considered Trendy for my genre now....

But I thought the change was interesting, so I’m babbling about it.

I’m not advocating for anything, I’m not evangelizing. *Wear what makes you feel good*

This was probably more about my own perceptions than SL at large, but it also drove home an important thing to me....

I DJ better when *I* feel good, so when I stopped trying to conform to a perception of “SL normal” I became a better Partner and maybe a slightly better DJ.

...also, I got to shop...........

 

[I'm an alien in Second Life.]

I had an alien alt for roleplay. 

The prehensile tail got me in trouble......

Hey...I also had horns. They should have taken the hint.....

[Mac User Converting to Windows]

I own a latest generation Intel iMac (32g) and a 2020 M1 Mac Mini (16g) and Sl runs well on both. I have to “manage” the Mini for photography a bit, but I expect that to smooth out after Firestorm for Mac ports more and more to the M1 chip architecture.

I spent 21 years using software from MicroSatan and I’m not eager to contemplate going back 🙂

Probably, its just a “what flavor of ice cream do you like?” Issue tho....so if you’re happy; thats what counts.

 

[Scents...Do You Like Them on Humans? Do You Have Any Favs?]

Heretic “Dirty Vanilla”

[Remember When ...]

Would a VPN not also be helpful?

 

[What are you listening to?]

 

[I sometimes use intentionally "ugly" avatars in Second Life.]

Speaking for myself, I think its wonderful for people to be able to express themselves through their avatars.

My ONLY exception to that was the one time someone tried to intentionally disrupt a Photoshoot I was involved in and “beauty-shame” the models. That was annoying and - as it turned out - misdirected since this was a “for charity” shoot and not the SL Big Fashion they were after.

But I also support freedom of political expression; even when I’m not drinking the kool-aid being served 😉

 

[Why only one sun and one moon?]

Some years ago there was a Resident who sold - as a service - his time to visit the other Resident of your choice and “moon” them (he had a selection of animations).

I’m not sure if he quit, was banned or might still be around....

...but if you want multiple moons; he would be the guy to call.

[Voice DJ?]

I don’t voice due to a stroke but I do multiple SL gigs a week, take tons of requests and do some creative stuff for ads and intros with LogicProX that I work I to my sets.

Voice is a delicate subject as it runs the gamut from radio-quality to that guy with a bad mic who says “uhhh” a lot and talks over the music.

I advocate for my style of DJing because I really have no choice, and because I am willing to spend the time to bridge whatever gaps that exist.

You would not believe the compliments I get for NOT talking over the music by people who came to dance 🙂

[Could use an Opinion on what to think?]

I beat my head against this one for many years. Added complexity: I also DJ and model within SL and end up drawing Bonus Stalkers based on that.

Ultimately, muting and de-rendering are my best solution for random creeps.

If “hey baby, you should do me some time” is the best they can do in an IM, I’m saving both of us time by evicting them from the SL I can perceive......

No argument, no drama - just an empty space where Sex Tourist #5986 used to be.

Since there is no “one size fits all” definition of *What Is Second Life?*, we will always have conflict between the “its a game and I can be an A$$ if I want” crowd and people like me who are legitimately living a Second Life here. Mute/De-Render seems like the most painless way to manage that boundary for people who won’t read Profiles and demonstrate by their behavior that all you are to them is a potential sexbot.

 

[If Noob You could see you now...]

N00b me would discover that my SL Partnering from 2005 was still alive and well.........and be completely flabbergasted.

That's over three times as long as my most significant Real Life relationship and truthfully; it means a lot more to me.

N00b me would probably come away from that *slightly* less cynical about relationships 🙂

[Why are we hiding behind our AVATARS? I have revealed myself and this is why...]

On 2/26/2021 at 7:59 AM, Wili Clip said:

 

What are we afraid of? What will other people think about us? Are we afraid others will notice our flaws? That other people will laugh at and make fun out of us? That we are not good enough and we have to hide?
Everyone has flaws and those who criticize and laugh at other people usually have the biggest ones. I have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Why create an image of perfection and then be anxious or depressed because there are such discrepancies between imaginary and reality?

About 11 days ago I decided to reveal myself to my SL gamers community and it has been cathartic for me.

I now use voice in Second Life whenever possible and I've been practicing getting out of my comfort zone about that and I wish more people would do the same. Your brain will reward you with release of dopamine every time you make a personal breakthrough.

Why are we hiding behind our avatars? Are we creating another personality? Are we afraid of ourselves?
(I do maybe understand in the case of women as they could become a target of harassment and stalkers - that is viable concern)

I think that Second Life should be an extension of real life and not a replacement. I believe that it can even be psychologically harmful if someone lives their life through Second Life. My friend in SL is a psychologist and she did research on that topic that confirms it.

My RL body is my avatar and avatar in Second Life is just an extension that lets me do, experience and achieve more things than I could in RL without using virtual world tech.

So what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar?

 

Those of us who’ve been in SL a while will recall the tag line; “Your World, Your Imagination”.

Is sounds like you’re advocating to remove some of that “imagination”.

For many like myself, SL is a place where our physical disabilities don’t matter as much. I can not just speak and move normally; I can FLY and TELEPORT. Best of all, by hiding behind my avatar I can be mistaken for “normal” and spared the pity of well-meaning people.

There are bunches of social networks for people who want to use them as dating services or business networks, so why make sl “just one more of those” by handcuffing the users to Real Lives that might not be all that much fun?

Generally, people don’t think of Sl as a haven for the disabled.

We like it that way. That means we’re “just like everybody else” with the same opportunities.

But...”your world: your imagination”. Live YOUR Sl as you see fit, and so will we 🙂

Peace!

[Something is wrong with my account. What is it?]

6 hours ago, Foggypebble Muircastle said:

But that’s the thing, I use paypal. I’m getting refused before I even get the chance To put in my info and complete the purchase.

When I had my issue, I was using PayPal.

What made this even more complicated was - at first - my bank, PayPal and Linden Lab were effectively blaming each other.

This was after a change of political administrations and evidently someone was interpreting some new regulations "strictly"

[Something is wrong with my account. What is it?]

I went through something similar some years ago.

My bank and/or LL’s bank had been reclassified as “offshore” by the US authorities and they were nerfing my purchases.

Ultimately I changed banks and the problem went away.

PayPal usually works, unless your source bank is on someone’s “shady” list.

There are other issues like having connectivity/security issues with your local WiFi that annoy the banks security, but I’m not too in-the-know about that.

I’d suggest calling your bank and asking them whats-up.

 

[wife says sex in Second Life is porn?]

16 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I humbly submit that masturbation is sex, even if it is not cheating. 

It could also be expensive until cheap, rechargeable batteries went mainstream.......

“The price of sex with someone you love”

[Take your shovel and feel it]

Help! Accused of being actual biological gender in SL.....

[wife says sex in Second Life is porn?]

IMHO, it may or may not be porn.

However, if you are having pixel sex with someone other than your RL Partner and;

(a) you are in an exclusive relationship 

(b) your Partner has not said its OK to Pixel other people in SL

Then you most likely meet the definition of Cheating.

Sl has plenty of people who are into open relationships/Poly/whatever - so long as everyone knows in advance whats on the menu, then the only possible drama is someone discovering that this is *not* for them.

Someone who decides sneaking around is the way to go (maybe they like the thrill of taking the risk of discovery) - well; you knew what you were getting into......

Cheating can lead to conversations that begin like the .gif below and get worse.........

No judgement here, we all have to live however we can square with our collective consciences....just bear the consequences like a grownup........

[Old Dj Software]

PC-wise I used WinAmp to DJ back in the olden days, before jumping to SAM.

[New last names?]

I really want a feature that allows for Community  Naming of avatars.

”Social Acclaim” Version

You pay nothing, any accumulated Warning Points get wiped away and your Friends get to pick a descriptive last name for you that you must keep for a year.

”Restorative Justice” Version

You get all the above as well as an additional bonus “all your vanished inventory is returned to you”. In return, the top three avatars who have filed ARs against you get to pick your last name.

[Discord...how is it used by the SL community.]

Its a backup when SL is crashtastic or (as happens frequently lately) SL group chat drops messages.

 

[Tipping hosts/DJs at clubs?]

I DJ and also visit a lot of other clubs, so I can speak to how *I* handle tipping.

When I go somewhere to hear another DJ;

-I tip when I make a song-request, about L200 because this has the DJ taking their eyes off local chat, shuffling a playlist and possibly having to DL a song.

-I tip late in the set. Around L200-300 if it was an average night, “400-600” if it was amazing and around L100 if it was “meh”. A “zero-tip” is kind of a statement and I reserve that for DJ’s who are personally obnoxious to their guests. Lately, that seems to mean DJ’s who *push* RL politics during their set (I come to SL to escape that noise).

-I often tip 50-100 early in a set if the DJ happens to play something I’m sentimental about. I also might toss double-that in if the DJ is new and trying very hard to get their game up 🙂

Note: I have an inworld job that funds my tipping-habits. Times are hard and if someone can’t afford to tip, they should IMHO still be able to come, dance and be welcome.

When I am DJing;

-I expect nothing.

I DJ because I love music and I love the friends I make while I’m out there. If people make a choice to tip me, I’m gratified but I don’t feel the HAVE to.

SL is entertainment and stress-relief for me, the stance I take towards anything I do here is “do it because I like doing it; not because I’m making a living at it”

Peace!