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Amanda Crisp

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Posts posted by Amanda Crisp

  1. 9 hours ago, RowanMinx said:

    I have to say I've never been discriminated against for not using voice.  Well, except for the idiots just looking for a quickie and need voice verification to....ya know.  You can tell just by opening  their profile and seeing all the sex groups.  Other than that, I don't really hang out where voice is activated and even if it is, I seldom even listen.

    Thats awesome Rowan 🙂 I acknowledge that SL is a big place and hopefully experiences are mostly positive !

    Still...sneaky Bias manifests itself in a myriad of ways that we normally don’t make a big deal of.

    ”You don’t voice so you must be cross-gendered in SL” which is really saying more about the gender preference or possibly the phobia of the speaker.

    But there are people whose friendship/good will is contingent on *you* very obviously fitting into *their* comfort zone.

    I guess if someone *is* here for sex, they might have a reasonable concern about not triggering themselves in the process - but sometimes the way they go about out is a little over-the -top. Of course, they’re being a little smug if they think everyone they chat up might actually GIVE them pixel sex.

    Life is very subjective.......

    To clarify; I’m not all up—in-arms about the issue. I largely accept is as part of “People being people” and since my SL occupation involves making people want to hang around at my workplaces; I let it roll off.

    I’m an entertainer, not an evangelist. Living my life is more important than complaining about it.


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  2. 9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

    I am always a bit puzzled when people talk about the prevalence of voice in SL because, like Rolig, I very rarely run across people using it. And very few of my friends do, and even then only in particular circumstances (such as chatting one-on-one with a friend who also uses it). In fact, too, I know a fair number of DJs who don't use it - probably close to 50%.

    It's interesting because it's another reminder of how we all move in self-defined "bubbles" in SL. Obviously, you, Amanda, go to places -- social venues? sex sims? -- where voice is prevalent, and that I just don't get to.

    And the interesting thing about these "bubbles" is that they should, in theory, mitigate that feeling of "being out of place," because there are so many distinct cultures in SL. If one feels out of place because one doesn't use voice, then it's at least a bit reassuring to know that there are those of us who move in circles where it is almost never used, and where text communication is very much the norm.

    Often in club work, you encounter people who are virtually present but not participating (or watching) Local chat because they and their social group are on some version of Voice (this can be Skype, SL Voice or something else).  I know this because I have a couple of friends that do this using Discord and who include me in their funny shenanigans via Discord Text 

    People are free to do as they please, so no biggie there 🙂

    That has nothing to do with the main topic; but with the prevalence of voice-communication overlaid with SL.

    So one does not need to be in a sex sim to encounter this, you just need to work a lot on the SL club/events scene 🙂

    One problem with this; some club managers see avatars just standing around (not interacting) and choose to hit the DJ up for “poor customer engagement” ala “If you were also on Voice, they would pay attention” (decoded - they would tip if you were verbal). Personally, I think those folks exhibit that same preference wherever they go - so the bias in play here would be on the part of the Manager.

  3. This isn’t big-ticket discrimination, which is why it flies under the radar in SL.

    If you’re speech-impaired here, you’re subject to all sorts of shenanigans.

    Relationally and Inworld Employment-wise, you’re very much a second class citizen in the voice-centric world That is SL.

    Amazingly, I can still find DJ gigs - but so with any such group; you have to hustle twice as hard just to stay even.

    Does it stop me? No.

    Other people can only define or stereotype you if you play along 🙂


  4. Things may have changed, but I gave up my Original 2005 avatar for Amanda due to a stalker - after LL told me there was no way to hide from them and not much THEY could do for me as my Stalker kept making new alts..

    Scanners can pick up your status no matter what. People can look in Groups you are a member of (in many cases) and see your status.

    I was told at the time that allowing a true Zero Global Presence had many issues associated with it, some stemming from the inworld economy and the nature of how SL was constructed.

    Hopefully this changes/has changed, as only the feelings I have for my SL Partner kept me here after that.


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  5. I’m bisexual in RL but identify as homosexual (with exceptions) in SL.

    I’m in a LONG-term committed relationship in SL, but if my Partner suddenly wanted to Swing, take on a Poly partner or kicks me to the curb - these would be the exceptions;

    -Male avatar with female typist  would be fine so long as she was not out to role-play the “darker side” of masculinity. Believe me; in 15 years I’ve seen that happen.

    -Female avatar with any-gender typist. If a male on a female avatar carried Herself well, makes me laugh, can be loyal and our kinks match, that could work.

    I’m not in Sl to live by my RL limitations (I have a small disability) and I prefer to be involved with people who are emotionally accessible and are (a) fun, (b) emotionally stable and (c) have a high level of empathy.

    I’m a Hugger and a Cuddler and I rescue stray animals. That should tell you what you need to know about me 🙂

    I don’t *avoid* the segment of the population Limits themselves to their RL demographics By Choice, unless they become disparaging of the segment that took the mantra “Your World/Your Imagination” to heart.


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  6. Personally, I don’t care one whit about Voice or Cam.

    Voice is a problem for me due to disability following an early-life stroke/brain injury. SL is my “reprieve” from having to deal with this issue out in the real world

    Cam....I just didn’t care. I’m not planning to hook up in RL with anyone from the Internet, so all I need to know is how they choose to appear while in SL.

    *If anything* I think Voice harmed the SL Community.

    If you;’re about to type something heinous, you have a monument to consider it before you hit “enter”.

    On Voice, whatever rant a person was on gets “out there” unfiltered.

    My Partner and I have been texting in SL for right at 15 years (counting our Original avatars).

    I like to think that the reason we’ve lasted that long, was that crucial “stop and think” before one of us said something unforgivable.

    So yes, some of us just don’t care.......


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  7. Pearl,

    We live in a world where substantial segments of the population can’t see the difference between “Disagree” and “Hate” and the increasingly common solution to “Disagree” is to ignore the person and their life’s work.

    IMO, the only reasonable course of action in a situation like that is to Be Yourself. You can’t control what other people think, say or do. 

    If you’re happy with yourself, thats good enough.

    Be Yourself. That way, when you get flamed anyway; you have the satisfaction of having at least been authentic.

    This is the Internet; everybody gets flamed 🙂


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  8. I’ve endured a couple of decades in the corporate world after surviving my military service. The sign out-front at our workplace has changed multiple times over the years, but any other changes were mostly cosmetic.

    If you’re a target for acquisition, this usually means you do something other people *want* and most of them are Wiley enough to let you keep doing it once their name is on the door. There are horrible exceptions of course; like being bought by someone with too much ego or too little business sense.

    My personal experience has always been in line with the old cliche; 

    “New boss; same as the old boss.”


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  9. Running a club in SL has to be a labor of love, because 99% of the time its not financially viable.

    Thats *not* a reason not to try, but expect it to be a money-sink for quite a while - maybe forever.

    If you want to run a place where interesting people can mix and mingle and you don’t care much about being #1, you have a much greater chance of being satisfied with the whole thing.

    Advice: Be good to your staff. So many club owners see the $ going out with not quite as much coming back - and go straight to “shouty” mode.

    I have seen this multiple times over 15 years here;

    -Berating staff (who USED to be your friends) in Group chat in an attempt to find coverage for shifts is a losing proposition. So is trying to expand too fast.

    If you can provide a fun experience 1 night a week and people keep coming back, slowly build up to two, and so on.

    If you can keep the mindset; “This is something I’m doing *with* my friends and *for* my friends” - its amazing how far that goes to keeping Staff and guests.

    The moment you mentally become a Business; that’s when things get risky on the SL club scene.

    Please post when you open!  I’m not specifically into Hip Hop, but I’ll show up and bring my Partner.

    Any excuse to dance and meet new friends is a good one 🙂

    Good luck!


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  10. I delete people;

    (a) if we reach the point that mutual respect is out the window

    (b) if they get Stalky

    Conversely, in the last fifteen years I have had fourteen SL friends (That I know of) pass away in RL and they will remain on my friends list until I log to whatever grid they’ve moved onto.

    I’m not big on deleting people just because they stopped logging on suddenly; it may not have been their choice and I’m sentimental.



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  11. Interesting topic !!

    Random Info: I’m in a profession where I’ve been randomly subjected to “Meyers-Briggs” personality-typing for longer than I would rather admit (related to leadership and organizational development training).

    FOREVER I was constantly typed over-and-over as a strong Extrovert with “crusading idealist” tendencies (ENFJ - A).

    Then I had a left-brain stroke because too little sleep, half-marathons and a steady diet of stress can do that.....

    My Extraversion has morphed into something more introverted and thoughtful. These days I graph more on the “Intraversion” scale and when I need to call on my old Extroverted skills, I catch myself doing it *as* a skill and not really because I’m feeling it.

    Oddly, I feel like I gained something.

    So this stuff *can* change. Mine was “brain changes” plus some social embarrassment early on before speech therapy really had time to work; but there are many reasons why people’s social milieu can shift.

    I’m happier as a thoughtful Introvert Than a workaholic Extovert.



  12. There are (In My opinion) two Broad kinds of “SL People”;

    (a) - People who are here to Play a Game or generally goof off and be entertained or distracted.

    (b) - People who are here because this is a “world” they inhabit and people like them are their (sometimes dysfunctional) “tribe”.

    I’m on the forums because I am a “B” who works a *LOT* in RL and this lets me keep up with what the tribe is up to.

    I like techy, geeky, internet people & the unusual conversations That happen when all the Techy-Geeky-Caffinated-Whatever collides 🙂

    ”Techy-Geeky-Caffeinated-Whatever” should probably be a forum title......



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  13. I’m posting much less for two reasons;


    02..RL politics and political activity being brought to the forums.

    I find it easier not to engage than to get my blood pressure up over manners or someone collecting Virtue points:-)

    SL is my escape from RL. I try to keep it that way.



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  14. On 7/23/2020 at 4:53 PM, ItHadToComeToThis said:

    The rest of the world who have to put up with it. Americans are like a caricature of the heritage they claim themselves to be from. It is time to abandon this nonsense and move on from it. Time to claim their rightful heritage and just say “Yo guys, I am American”

    Were you referring to the heritage largely perpetrated by Hollywood and Washington DC, or the real ones?

    I was born and raised in Western America (cowgirl country), the ‘Murika I see so derided in the global media has very little to do with how I grew up. Neither did the pop culture depictions of our military match my experiences in Africa, Latin America and the Balkans.

    I earned my PTSD trying to identify which religious/political zealots filled various mass graves (in countries with histories much older than mine) and my objective now is to live quietly and pretend to be as sane as possible 🙂  Frequently, I fail. The globe seems to generally be a messed-up place.

    America is a mishmash and experiences will vary wildly from Urban to Rural. Thats about the best you can do with so many nationalities, belief systems and agendas under one roof. If you look at how rapidly the former Soviet Empire blew apart (also ethnically diverse and lacking a unifying identity that was *real* to its Non-Great-Russians) you see how fragile such things are.

    Its impossible to accurately generalize about “America” due to its size, just as it was erroneous to generalize about “Soviets” back then or “Europeans” now. 

    But people on all sides will anyway 🙂  Othering seems to be universal.

    Still, I am an American by nationality and I have deep affection for my Home.

    Home = “the people I grew up around and know personally.”  

    I am a child of Rural America; I do the best I can to understand City Folks - but at least I’m polite to them.




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  15. I have an Alt To get some time alone so I can,

    -Build in peace

    -Explore the grid as opposed to being limited by Routine

    -Not get IMs from strangers who think models and DJs are call girls who don’t advertise well

    -Visit other clubs and hear music that my social circle may not like

    -Have “time away” when things just pile up.



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  16. This is an amusing problem if you’re somewhat vocally-impaired, but one with a simple solution;

    ”Don’t hang around with people who care about that.”

    Mute/Derendering people who insist on being a pest about this is also useful.

    SL makes it possible to *only* have to deal with whatever you’re willing to put up with, if you use the tools.

    Note: This won’t completely stop a dedicated Stalker, so the trick is to rezz the mean ones out of your world before you get into a protracted argument with them and put them in Psycho Mode



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  17. On 5/1/2020 at 8:21 PM, Thalia Svoboda said:

    No offense but this advice does not work for me at all, I don't feel the need to hide away I just wanted to know if there are places or people out there who don't care about males playing as females. 

    What you might be running into is “fear of Indirect peer pressure”.

    Overall, I think SL has lots of people who absolutely - in their own mind - don’t mind whose avatar is what.

    Unfortunately, many of those same people are reluctant to come out and be publicly supportive of someone who is “out” because they fear *their own friends* would not be very accepting of *them* if they do.

    I’m happy that you’re looking for friends and I’d be very pleased to be one 🙂



  18. One really critical thing you *need* to know about anyone you thing about getting *romantic* with in SL (feelings involved) is how the other person handles Second Life;

    (a) Its a game, nothing here counts, BTW - how DO I level up ? (Invest no emotion, make use of them if they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

    (b) Wants to Partner on the first date. (Seriously?, Beware of the Potential Stalker.)

    (c) Talks to you about their interests and is interested in yours. Courteous to the “Typist”. (Potential Keeper)

    (d) Begins every conversation with an analogy about a different Ex and/or asking for L$ (Flee)

    (E) Opens with “OK, my RL is in bed. Where were we?” (Flee, unless they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

    The best way IMHO is to observe them over time before committing.


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  19. 11 hours ago, JadoreChanel said:

    Hello my name is Akira I have a skybox rental, I love it but my only issue is when I do *Activities like breakfast* and then I change it, the furniture is still there and A laptop/ chair is still there. How can i remove it? I also contacted the Owner but she never replies

    My thought is that if your landlord is unresponsive, you need a new landlord.

    There are plenty of rentals in Sl with active, engaged staff.


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