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Amanda Crisp

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Posts posted by Amanda Crisp

  1. The prevalence of “Insta-Dom” in SL makes it more difficult as you have to weed through the once who don’t really have experience or the gumption to learn.

    Just my suggestion; probably steer clear of anyone who has “Master” as part of their SL name. If someone projects the charisma for that role, you’ll know it and not all the titles or Display Names in the world can cover for the lack of it.

    Also be sure you *want* a Dominant. Many people just want a lover to play around with and occasionally venture into Kink.

    The larger and more established BDSM groups/clubs are a good place to start. Go meet people, talk about what you’re looking for and what you offer - and see what evolves.


    • Like 3
  2. I DJ and also visit a lot of other clubs, so I can speak to how *I* handle tipping.

    When I go somewhere to hear another DJ;

    -I tip when I make a song-request, about L200 because this has the DJ taking their eyes off local chat, shuffling a playlist and possibly having to DL a song.

    -I tip late in the set. Around L200-300 if it was an average night, “400-600” if it was amazing and around L100 if it was “meh”. A “zero-tip” is kind of a statement and I reserve that for DJ’s who are personally obnoxious to their guests. Lately, that seems to mean DJ’s who *push* RL politics during their set (I come to SL to escape that noise).

    -I often tip 50-100 early in a set if the DJ happens to play something I’m sentimental about. I also might toss double-that in if the DJ is new and trying very hard to get their game up 🙂

    Note: I have an inworld job that funds my tipping-habits. Times are hard and if someone can’t afford to tip, they should IMHO still be able to come, dance and be welcome.

    When I am DJing;

    -I expect nothing.

    I DJ because I love music and I love the friends I make while I’m out there. If people make a choice to tip me, I’m gratified but I don’t feel the HAVE to.

    SL is entertainment and stress-relief for me, the stance I take towards anything I do here is “do it because I like doing it; not because I’m making a living at it”




    • Like 1
  3. OK, I was looking at my Flickr feed and it struck me that “many” of my older SL shots would have an entirely different context nowadays.....

    Please post-away but *pweese* go for funny and not depressing. RL had enough “depressing” to go around.

    My first shot; 


    ”So you’re a talking Cat-Owl who gives stock tips?  Big deal buddy....SIX FOOT SPACING, RIGHT NOW!”

    "Hooman, we need to discuss your mating habits..."


    • Haha 3
  4. This is kind of a ramble on how my tastes/views seem to have changed and how THAT led me to see SL kink more broadly,

    So all told, I’ve been in SL since 2005 continuously, altho I got stalked into changing my avatar at one point.

    Like many others, I “matriculated” through Pixel Sex Culture and in SL, much of that is bound into BDSM.

    Literally, I was here like 5 minutes when someone was in my IMs asking if I’d considered Gor..... (I hadn’t; I’m no-Gor)

    Personally, I like structured relationships and SL-BDSM-done-responsibly isn’t freaky in my book. People are mostly sexual, much of sex involves some degree of Kink....it’s fairly normal IMHO.

    But - in SL we also see a lot of drama/toil related to “1st Time Master/Mistress/Submissive w No Experience” or just people with very unrealistic expectations. That leaves some (not all) with a real downer on SL Erotics in general if they over-committed or had an over-committed Submissive vanish or wander into trouble.

    So I noticed as I went along that it was always a good idea for people with an interest to ask themselves this;

    ”Do I really want a full-blown BDSM Top-Bottom Lifestyle? Or do I want kinky SEX and then back to my normal SL?”

    Based on 15 years of observing, I think we have a smaller contingent who have both the desire and suitability to maintain a full-on BDSM relationship and a larger one that just wants some kink in their lives.

    I guess my closing thought is that anyone considering entering into a BDSM relationship should ask themselves that same question before committing.

    Commitment is beautiful between Top & Bottom, but if you’re just wanting some temporary fun - don’t make a formal commitment until you’re ready.

    Disclaimer: There are myriad variations on Kinky/BDSM relationships, including ones that are “casual”. I am not making a negative judgement on anyone or their choices; just saying “thinking about what you want in advance is respectful to everyone involved.”


    • Like 1
  5. I work sort of an overnight shift, so my experience has a split personality. 

    I make it on for 2 hours un U.S. Prime Time (GMT-6) @ 6pm SL and have people around, then come back after work for a little bit at about 3pm GMT and find a “differently” populated SL 🙂

    Maybe if you tailor your venue-search by RL geography?  

    Where possible, look for Euro-run events when Europe is on Prime Time, ditto for the US and the Pacific

    I *really* like hanging around with Australia (GMT+15) when I can work out the times and not be at work or asleep 🙂


  6. 4 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

    I agree and prefer one on one encounters.  I was speaking to the overabundance of bisexual women in SL and the possible reason behind it.  The fact is the geometry works better with 2 men and one woman. 

    The great heartache of kissing girls in the club; when only one is pretending 😞

  7. Before he was Daryl and the Dead Walked.....he was a Boondock Saint......


    ...OK, full disclosure. When I typed this originally I typoed an “I” Instead of the last “O” in Boondock. I caught it fast, but as you-all might find that hysterical I decided to tell on myself......


  8. 18 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

    This may be true in RL but I know for a fact a lot of women in SL use bisexuality to attract men.  As far as men wanting 2 women in bed, again this may not apply in RL but it dang sure does in SL.  

    IMHO 3+ in a sexual liaison is more of a geometry problem  🙂

    Sometimes its nice to get lost in the crowd; unless its in the bedroom ........



    • Haha 1
  9. 1 hour ago, Paul Hexem said:

    I suspect most people will be the same in SL as RL. Preference is preference. You might expand in SL a little, but you'd have to be at least a little into it in RL to get any enjoyment out of it, I think.

    Paul, I agree with that statement.

    That would also cover the ones who are secretive in RL about their sexuality, but can live it openly in SL.

    They are consistent between RL and SL, just more open in SL.


    • Like 1
  10. 15 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

    That may be true in some parts of SL, and I am prepared to believe it's true in the specific sector that you are focusing on. A non-voice DJ would probably be at a disadvantage. I haven't spent much time in SL clubs for at least ten years now, though. Wandering around most of SL myself, I rarely run across people using voice.  I have mine switched on so that I can hear voice if it's being used, but I have never used it myself since it was introduced in 2007, and very few of my friends do.  I suspect that "voice-centric" really depends on where you are in SL.

    I’d say you’re right Rolig! Here in SL, I’m married into the Club biz (happily) so that probably defines my experiences.

  11. 9 hours ago, RowanMinx said:

    I have to say I've never been discriminated against for not using voice.  Well, except for the idiots just looking for a quickie and need voice verification to....ya know.  You can tell just by opening  their profile and seeing all the sex groups.  Other than that, I don't really hang out where voice is activated and even if it is, I seldom even listen.

    Thats awesome Rowan 🙂 I acknowledge that SL is a big place and hopefully experiences are mostly positive !

    Still...sneaky Bias manifests itself in a myriad of ways that we normally don’t make a big deal of.

    ”You don’t voice so you must be cross-gendered in SL” which is really saying more about the gender preference or possibly the phobia of the speaker.

    But there are people whose friendship/good will is contingent on *you* very obviously fitting into *their* comfort zone.

    I guess if someone *is* here for sex, they might have a reasonable concern about not triggering themselves in the process - but sometimes the way they go about out is a little over-the -top. Of course, they’re being a little smug if they think everyone they chat up might actually GIVE them pixel sex.

    Life is very subjective.......

    To clarify; I’m not all up—in-arms about the issue. I largely accept is as part of “People being people” and since my SL occupation involves making people want to hang around at my workplaces; I let it roll off.

    I’m an entertainer, not an evangelist. Living my life is more important than complaining about it.


    • Like 1
  12. 9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

    I am always a bit puzzled when people talk about the prevalence of voice in SL because, like Rolig, I very rarely run across people using it. And very few of my friends do, and even then only in particular circumstances (such as chatting one-on-one with a friend who also uses it). In fact, too, I know a fair number of DJs who don't use it - probably close to 50%.

    It's interesting because it's another reminder of how we all move in self-defined "bubbles" in SL. Obviously, you, Amanda, go to places -- social venues? sex sims? -- where voice is prevalent, and that I just don't get to.

    And the interesting thing about these "bubbles" is that they should, in theory, mitigate that feeling of "being out of place," because there are so many distinct cultures in SL. If one feels out of place because one doesn't use voice, then it's at least a bit reassuring to know that there are those of us who move in circles where it is almost never used, and where text communication is very much the norm.

    Often in club work, you encounter people who are virtually present but not participating (or watching) Local chat because they and their social group are on some version of Voice (this can be Skype, SL Voice or something else).  I know this because I have a couple of friends that do this using Discord and who include me in their funny shenanigans via Discord Text 

    People are free to do as they please, so no biggie there 🙂

    That has nothing to do with the main topic; but with the prevalence of voice-communication overlaid with SL.

    So one does not need to be in a sex sim to encounter this, you just need to work a lot on the SL club/events scene 🙂

    One problem with this; some club managers see avatars just standing around (not interacting) and choose to hit the DJ up for “poor customer engagement” ala “If you were also on Voice, they would pay attention” (decoded - they would tip if you were verbal). Personally, I think those folks exhibit that same preference wherever they go - so the bias in play here would be on the part of the Manager.

  13. This isn’t big-ticket discrimination, which is why it flies under the radar in SL.

    If you’re speech-impaired here, you’re subject to all sorts of shenanigans.

    Relationally and Inworld Employment-wise, you’re very much a second class citizen in the voice-centric world That is SL.

    Amazingly, I can still find DJ gigs - but so with any such group; you have to hustle twice as hard just to stay even.

    Does it stop me? No.

    Other people can only define or stereotype you if you play along 🙂


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