[Warning ⚠️ : Forum Poop 💩 or Quagmire Ahead!]

The secret Furry conspiracy AND/OR Fight Club……….

[Are we ever gonna be able to hide account age?]

I guess the point is lost on me. I’m quite happy to have been in SL a while and could care less if people make assumptions about my RL age based on my avatar creation date 🙂

If people have issues w *my* age, that’s THEIR issue…….. I. Wish them luck when THEY reach a few chronological milestones 🙂

[If You Divided the SL population into two groups]

Group 1: Smart People who read your profile before propositioning you.

Group 2: Everyone else (the majority)

 

[What behavior do you find off-putting?]

On 1/12/2024 at 1:08 AM, Robberinthemuseum said:

This has never happened to me...I think 🤔 

I can provide an example….

So there was someone who was showing up at my DJ sets and chatting me up in IM (merrily ignoring that I had a long term Partner and didn’t even play for the team he was pitching to.) Eventually I politely thank him for all the attention and point out that I am severely taken….  So the following week another new avatar takes up where he left off, using some of the same Lines word for word and identical misspellings. I respectfully decline HIS advances and a week later I meet alt #3.  Same story on this ones lines, but he also uses avatar design cues VERY aligned w avatar #1, purchased from the same Makers.  The place I was working closed and when I moved to a new Gig, he evidently moved on.

This individual was fixated on “If I look better and have a better line, the Girl will eventually dig me” - and though that deception was a germane tactic. “Insert quarter and receive romance”…….

Unfortunately, he was not alone.

[What behavior do you find off-putting?]

People who play alt games within a social circle.

 

[Is Second Life more toxic than other games in general?]

16 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

Always and everywhere, since time immemorial, since Cain and Abel, since Beaver and Eddie Haskell, griefers have pretended that they are cultural or political and you are behind the times and that you just haven't learned to use de-render. 

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

"Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, that's a lovely dress!"

It's a method in and of itself so I don't buy it and never have. Move along.

 

The proverbial serpent may have caught its tail 🙂

[What are you watching today?]

 

[Friend can't change clothes at my house]

On 12/27/2023 at 9:13 AM, SkylarGood said:

Hello, I am new to SL and I have a SL premium home.  For some reason my friend is unable to change clothes in my house, is there a setting I am missing?  He has to go home, change and then return.   I have added him to the access list of the house and the access list of the security system but that didn't seem to make any difference in this regard.  thanks

Has the friend expressed happiness about being naked at your house? Said friend may just have hot pants 🙂

 

[What new name would you give Second Life?]

I’d call it “Virtual” as that seems to cover it all 🙂

 

[Is Second Life more toxic than other games in general?]

How do YOU define Toxic?

Subjectively, I see the RL Resident demographic shifting, which changes the behaviors I encounter. I resolve that by subjecting the ones who bother me (I have a thick skin) to Mute + De-Render and kick them out of my subjective world.

Its good to keep in mind the global nature of SL and as new areas gravitate to it, they bring with them different cultural and social mores.

 

[One Word to Describe Your SL in 2023]

Bland

 

 

[Stop Free Memeberships?]

7 hours ago, Zalificent Corvinus said:

Why do old accounts complain that SL seems empty, then devise crazy new ways to make it even emptier?

Respectfully, I don’t think it’s a conspiracy by “those of us who have been here a while” to Break LL. Many times, I think that long term Residents speak out because of frustration and an imperfect view of the economics needed to keep SL viable.

”Long term Residents” have had time to get frustrated, and sometimes Frustration speaks rashly.

On my Original I have been here since 2005, meaning I have had a lot of experience with Griefers and others who find it expedient to make my SL uncomfortable out of amusement or greed. So I understand the tendency to generalize about “cause”, but Specificity and knowledge of economics is what we need.

So, I agree w Zalificent that “Clamp down on free accounts” will not be productive.

Its scary to contemplate, but I don’t think many of the vexing behavior issues within SL can be fixed until SL gets and staffs to USE a better way to correlate user-to-avatar and address bad behavior. That’s a privacy issue as well as an international legal one, so would be a hard needle to thread.

 

[Can Linden Labs get more better last names?]

Spanish root-names have some opportunities.

It would also be nice if last names that have “suffered attrition” could be re-opened for use.

Also…I’d love it if “Keen” became a last name option, but that’s me being selfish.

 

[Tell everyone one good thing about Second Life and Linden Labs]

They gave me a place to find my tribe….

 

[Real Life v Second Life, Skills brought into and skills taken out of]

1 hour ago, Marigold Devin said:

That all sounds very impressive to me, not least being together with your SL partner for all of that time. You've found a lot of benefits being in Second Life, and have put a lot back into it too, which I think was what the creator was hoping for. 

Sleep deprivation caused by SL sounds familiar - happy memories of me staying online for 14 hours and sometimes an overnight. Don't know how I ever did that now.

 

TY so much!!

Second Life has been a great opportunity for me, even after I experienced a RL health challenge - especially then. While I was healing up, SL was my connection to “People” and that helped me *want* to get back as much as I could.

SL romances get poo-pooed by many, but after being with my Partner for a “few” years here; I suspect it might be the Real Thing 😉

[Real Life v Second Life, Skills brought into and skills taken out of]

In RL, I had quite a bit of experience leading Virtual Teams (before COVID) - so that translated well to Club Work in SL and the associated administration. Ditto for dealing w “people” issues. Without being critical or judgy, SL has many folks who are in “Manager” roles in world who have never attempted this in RL, so it was a good opportunity to develop other people WITHIN Second Life.

So far as things I took OUT of SL, I have been here since 2005 and the whole list would be long.

I am chronologically of a generation where “not all of us” picked up a depth of computer skills starting in childhood; so there was immediate “room to grow”

The high points:

Learning to DJ, I picked up SAM broadcaster, audio editing, learned the fine points of finessing network connections and got a lot of training on the finer points of how to run a playlist abd handle audience engagement. I have since used all that stuff designing multimedia training in my RL Job.

Learning to help manage a large Roleplay Sim, I picked up a LOT of 3D graphical design and “development of social systems that incorporate contemporary-generation human volunteers” (learning to work across generational cohorts). That has also been transferable to my RL role as trainer and “people developer”

During this, I made the leap to MacOS so that the “love of my virtual life” and I could be on compatible systems, and THAT has been a SL-driven situation that has benefitted both SL and RL (Logic Pro X kicks butt for audio creation).

So SL has has beneficial effects on RL for me that *almost* offset the sleep-deprivation all those hours in SL cause.

But…those hours were spent w my SL Partner, which makes them invaluable.  We have been together since 2005….

 

[I think it's funny. I've accused other people of being creepy (particularly in SL)....]

10 hours ago, UnilWay SpiritWeaver said:

I've worked with people from all over the world for a few decades now and I'll say that treating people with respect and decency is not unique to any culture. But a LOT of jerks will pretend it's not a part of their culture to get away with stuff - only get called out hard by their own countrymen often before I can do it.

I've even worked overseas and seen "my fellow Americans" pretend "that's just how we do it back in the States, it's considered proper to treat you coloreds like coloreds (or flip that), hit on the ladies, hit on the guys, or whatever" as a fellow American stand to the side face-palming. When abroad - some people use their homeland's worst stereotypes as an instruction manual, and some people rise to being global ambassadors; often just by acting the same way they do back home or in RL.

 

I have also lived all over the planet, and I completely agree 🙂

The most entertaining argument EVER was when two American Idealogues from the two extremes of our political spectrum BOTH insisted that “their” way was How We DO It In America.

Our Hosts were quite confused :-)

 

[I think it's funny. I've accused other people of being creepy (particularly in SL)....]

On 9/1/2023 at 11:07 PM, Stephanie Misfit said:

Coming from a highly misogynistic culture as some men in SL do is no excuse either in my opinion, these guys are part of a global online community and know what is expected.

I generally agree, with the following caveat; Expecting people from “polar opposite” social cultures to completely Grok SL until a substantial learning curve has taken place is a bit optimistic (IMO).

New residents are confronted w Terms of Service that are essentially word-salad written by Lawyers, to be read by Lawyers. Someone who comes from a society where male/female roles are defined differently may lack the CONTEXT to associate what that wall of text means to the smooth running of our online society.

Trust me, at one time I Moderated for a major RolePlay sim and had to “splain” (what the receiver viewed as Decadent Western Morals) to people on almost a daily basis. This was all spelled out in the Sim Rules, but even native English speakers tend not to “read the directions”.

Lastly, I can get VERY frustrated when I DJ and encounter Guests who conflate “DJ” w “Prostitute” and act accordingly. That can come from any direction and can set my hair on fire (I need an animation for that). So I totally understand “social frustration” within SL.  I came here to get away from that in RL, and thankfully HERE I can block/DeRender the worst of them.

It’s nice being about to kick people OUT of your world w the click of a button 🙂

 

[I think it's funny. I've accused other people of being creepy (particularly in SL)....]

DJing, I deal with a lot of people. Some are from vastly different cultures, some are new to speaking English, some have personal situations that make them relate “differently”…….all of the above can SEEM creepy w absolutely non-creepy intentions.

Much of western Progressive social doctrine exhorts the value of accepting people to live their truth and of accepting other’s differences.

I *personally* do not enjoy the barrage of pickup lines SL is fraught with, but taking into consideration all the various cultures, languages and backgrounds SL attracts; I have tried to be less quick to label strangers as “creeepy”on short acquaintance.….

I save “creepy” for those who can’t take a diplomatic “NO”….

 

[Oh my Gawd! - Totally unOfficial Pet Peeve Thread.]

7 hours ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

Peeve - the vast number of misogynistic men in SL, and how normalised woman-hating is in our virtual world. (Don't get me started on real life.) The fact that some guy in SL can start a conversation with me, and think that I am going to be OK with him referring to women as "b*tches" is something that I just find staggering. That's on top of him calling me "sweetie" and "honey" right off the bat, which obviously paled in comparison but is still a misogynist's move. Not a one-off thing, either. Spend any amount of time in adult venues as a woman, you will see the misogyny, the contempt so many men hold for women. So often hidden under a veneer of politeness, only to rear its head when subjected to rejection.

“Adult Venues” have never been a haven for Tolerance and Understanding 🙂 

The supposed “anonymity” of the internet emboldens horny people to act on their worst impulses at times. Especially someone who has limited RL social experience and is trying to impress his friends w how Alpha he is.

I personally do my socializing in areas that are female-friendly or female dominant, so Misogyny does not flourish there (unless the DJ forgets where she is and plays certain musical genres).

I curate my Second Life largely by where I choose to hang out :-)

[Describe Second Life in 4 words.]

“Your world, your imagination”

 

[Tipping Etiquette]

Speaking for myself only, when I DJ - I normally pay my Host a stipend in addition to whatever they pick up in tips. This is NOT from the venue, its the DJ paying the co-worker who makes me more effective.

A while back, I suffered a brain injury that impacted my fine-manipulation skills, so managing multiple simultaneous IMs while managing the stream is hard for a “slow typist”.

So, I run requests and guest inquiries through the Host as well as depending on them to manage whatever contest that may be running.

This works out to a fairly even division of labor and leaves neither DJ or Host with the kind of excessive “free time” to gesture-spam

The main venue I work at DOES have (non gesture) announcements for the Host to put out during events, but these are spaced out so as not to be obnoxious and are helpful to New Residents who may not know all the ins and outs of SL.

My opinion only, but the Hosts I work with really do earn anything they receive in tips 🙂

”Host” is often the very first “SL Entertainment” job many of us undertake when we come in world, so bear in mind that many of them are New Residents themselves - and still learning how to do that job without being annoying. Accompanying a small tip w some polite feedback in IM may well help them grow in the role and reduce some of the friction-points other posters to this thread have mentioned.

 

[Should I put my real-life gender in my woman avatars' profiles?]

On 8/18/2023 at 9:47 AM, Ceka Cianci said:

Dancing is like the standing up version of cuddling..

When i get asked to dance, I pretty much always find an excuse not to.. Mainly because it's never, Want to shake the ground we walk on out on the dance floor and work up a sweat? hehehe

It's always, lets turn the volume down from eleven to to one and slooow dance on the hottest slow dance on the list.. hehehe..

I also love SLOW dancing, thats also SL romantic

 

[Should I put my real-life gender in my woman avatars' profiles?]

2 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

To me cuddling can be more intimate than Slex.

YES! SOMEONE GETS IT!

 

 

[Should I put my real-life gender in my woman avatars' profiles?]

On 8/15/2023 at 1:28 AM, Phil Deakins said:

In certain circumstances, I disagree with that.

Some people, and I am one of them, would seriously hate to be 'romantic' with an avatar that is being operated by someone of the same gender and, imo, it's unethical to have someone think that the person at the keyboard is not the gender they believe they are 'interacting' with.

DISCLAIMER:

The Phil is an all around good human and a longtime contributor to these forums; whom I respect.  My comments are not intended to put him in a bad light; we just happen to have some minor differences of opinion. He is a cool, smart guy and I would not have people assume I think otherwise. AK

I take the stance that “unless you plan to take a relationship to RL, RL demographics are irrelevant”. ALL if us in SL are disembodied brains manifesting on the avatar of our choice.

I personally have an obvious handicap in RL; in SL I am free of it. But that discontinuity might freak some people out.

I’m rather OLD in RL; in SL I am eternally 30-something. THAT discontinuity might freak some people out too.

I decided long ago that I can’t let other people’s preferences determine how I live my life.

SL is good for my mental health, as its my chance to be mistaken for “normal” and not the occasional object of pity.

That being said (and more on Phils point) - I don’t make my RL status a secret to people  I am associated with. I don’t wander around w a titler that says “Old and Gimpy”, but I also talk about it openly w friends and on these forums.

Respect for people’s preferences and triggers is an important part of civilized behavior, but with regards to “RL status” I think the point where that should be discussed is when we invade someone’s Personal Space. That’s up to the individual.

It’s also important to remember how badly some Residents have been treated by others for NOT having an avatar that matched their RL demographics. It wasn’t so long ago that the memories have faded so I can see how that might make people “cautious”.