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Everything posted by JaedenDelanaire

  1. Madeline Blackbart wrote: Syo Emerald wrote: I think its more a "male thing" to pay money for some service like this. Men buy love, men buy domination. Most women either now they can get both for free or aren't turned on by gaining both trough money. I guess it doesn't feel "true" for most women this way. You also have more female escorts with a heterosexual customerbase than male escorts with a female customerbase. On the other hand there are already more stereotypes for female financial domination. Ranges from the strong wife, who doesn't work but does all the shopping to the spoiled princess who gets everything she wants (the concept of a sugar daddy is close to that). Since a lot men seem to seek absolut domination and like to be threaten badly its only natural to see more women offering this kind of service instead of being nice and caring. You it's my theory that a lot of the fact that women trade sex for money and men spend it on women is that traditionall women were property. One of the things you could get for money was a women LITERALLY. On top of that because society was setup this way (and still is in some places) women felt that the only way they could get things they need (such as money) was through trading it for sex. Even though this of course is no longer the case anymore it's still a hold over from that time. This is probably (and is) more valid than my theory, but I somehow doubt that findoms would find that a flattering reason behind their psychology for doing this. :matte-motes-big-grin-squint:
  2. Sephina Frostbite wrote: So basically its a sugar daddy or mama who insults you at the same time? Ha! That's slightly turned around, but you have the gist of it. No. The client is the sugar daddy, and the sugar daddy gets insulted and stepped on for being the sugar daddy. It should be noted that this is usually EXACTLY what the sugar daddy is paying for. Drake1 Nightfire wrote: Babygirls are nothing like a findom. So when did you graduate from kill joke university? Drake, I'm not entirely sure if you took what I said as the joke that I meant it to be; however, I do appreciate you clearing that up for anybody who may accidentally stumble upon the post and assume that anything I say is valid. Yes, that is the general idea behind a babygirl; hell, the relationship I have in my own real life could be described as a very, very muted daddygirl/babygirl relationship. It's a very, very special and loving relationship dynamic. AND YET. I've been a member on Fetlife long enough to know that aside from the 'ideal' babygirls, you get a lot of bratty princesses who just want to be gifted. Not with money, but with cute little objects such as frilly underwear, teddy bears, what have you--and they're the ones that usually just want to top from the bottom. Hence why I joked that a sensual and caring findom could be described as a babygirl. jwenting wrote: findom is extortion, plain and simple. Combine it with sexual services, and it becomes sexual abuse and forced prostitution as well. Sadly the findom scene in sl is rather powerful, and has the means to seriously harass those who dare expose them, might come from all the money they extort from their victims. I don't think we could call it extortion or abuse. People who pay findoms are not being arm-twisted into it. If a findom manipulated a poor spineless submissive by aggressively pursueing, then it's no more extortion than those kiosk vultures that await unwitting shoppers in the mall--but I don't think most findoms are that way. Being a bitchy-**bleep** money-sucking succubus is only a hat they put on and take off when they're being paid for it. I imagine most of them being qutie sweet, gentle, and civil when they're not on the clock, and most of them probably have the moral integrity to realize when they're doing legitimate mental harm to their submissive and STOP in the same way a prodom, or even a regular dom might note with a fragile submissive. If they didn't stop, then yes, that could be considered abuse and extortion. You'll find people who abuse an extort on both sides of the M/s D/s fence, regardless whether or not there is a money exchange. _____________ To not take up an abundance of time in writing this out, in responding to the other three of you: As a woman, I'd gladly like to assume it's because we're more intelligent about that sort of thing in general... But I'm certain that, in some way, that would be considered sexist. It has to be something different. I theorize that because for so long men have been expected to be providers for their loved ones, that it's actually more likely for that 'natural' tendency to become fetishized. They're not just piggybanks being drained of their money, they're taking care of their findom's bills and material desires. But maybe I'm over-romanticizing a simple concept. : ) Tex Monday's description of findomism is possibly the most succinct I've seen yet.
  3. Firstly, I think findoms are hot but I tend to like abusive situations in the realm of fantasy. I would never knock off what they do, so long as they're not terribly stupid about it. There's a niche for them, and some people really seem to get off on that sort of thing. They're usually the same sort that will IM a domme out of the blue, "hi Mistress, this lowly worm would like to speak with you." If I had money to spend I'd probably buy time from one just to bluster about how awesome I think it is that they can come up with insults off the twitch of a buttock cheek. Remember Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail? I'm the exact same way. I can never think of degrading and mean things to say to a person on the spot, and I believe it's a skill. A legit skill. Not one to be used in a nonconsensual context, of course, but a skill to be honed nonetheless. But I've noticed a trend amongst all findoms I've seen for the past three, four years that I've been interested in BDSM at all: They are all women. Not just women, but mostly heterosexual women. Where are the men?? Are women statistically more cutthroat with their purses? And why do I see findoms attempting to appeal only to men, and occasionally toss inn, "Oh, you women, you could probably get some of this fine booty too." I have no doubts that there will be male findoms a plenty if I do an internet search for it, but I don't really want it for myself. It's just that I've ONLY seen female findoms reach out to public areas trying to fish out the pathetic worms that may be lurking on the forum as well. The rest just usually have a few picks of it dedicated to their profiles. The other thing I've noticed about the findoms that reach out to such public locations... is that they're all about degradation. I've only seen one, ONE thus far that has claimed they'll take care of their piggybanks--I'm not entirely sure how that works out, other than that they buy things for their piggybanks with the money they originally gifted--or maybe that they'll make sure that they can squirt one off at the end of the day. Are there any actual caring and sensual findoms, or are those called babygirls? What's your opinion on findoms? Have you had any experiences with the rarer, elusive male findom? :matte-motes-big-grin: NOTE: I find findom and prodoms two separate entities. Findoms are all about being treated with gifts and shopping sprees. They'd enjoy letting you watch them take control of your computer screen to add funds from your bank to their paypal account, and they'll call you a withery leather coin sack while they're doing it. Prodoms just want to be paid fairly for their time and experience.
  4. Updated 12 - 23 - 13 I live an inactive life. Due to job schedules my significant other and I only spend one week every other month together, so I've taken up RP as a hobby to fill the downtime between work and sleep. It's been a blast thus far and I've met stellar people, just stellar I tell you. There's always room for more! Allow me to state a few items of importance: OOC and IC - It's so very, very important to me that these remain irrevocably separated. When we scene it will be clean and cut from our OOC chatter. None of that blending stuff. Treating me like my characters OOCly or trying to "RP" with me without clearly defining, "Okay, we're going to RP now, and I'm going to go into IC," will result in a termination of our contact. Playful banter and teasing is of course excused and happily welcomed, but keep a good head about it.RP Partners - I have a lot of them, and so should you. Nothing we do ICly will stop me from seeking out new friends and scenario ideas, nor will it stop me from placing importance on friends and RP things I'm already involved with. I will create monogamous characters for you if that is what you are comfortable with, but that is the extent of my generosity. OOCly I am a free bird. (can you dig it?)Scheduling - Every so often I'll disappear for an inordinate amount of time, which is jarring in comparison to how much time I spend on SL usually. Don't worry, RL is just knocking on the door, but it usually goes away with enough shooing.I'm a chick - Derp. But I play both male and female characters of either sexuality. My preference is whichever one you're comfortable with.Exxxxtreme! - I enjoy extreme scenarios best. Interludes with obsessive sociopaths, extreme violence (up to and including snuff), extreme sexual violence (again, up to and including snuff), intense situations where taboo is involved, or where authority is either blatantly or subtly manipulated to entice / capture / whatever an unwitting victim. If this doesn't perk your interest, best to hit that back button now. The majority of this post deals with that subject in tandem. I'm mostly in search of company for public RP sims. I'm currently invested in playing on Wendigo Lake, it's a well made sim with interesting characters and a well built landscape. It lacks the gritty, seedy STD infested nuance of some of the other more popular places, and hey--it's new! Why not help it out? But I'm opening to joining anyone's sim on a trial period to see how we mesh together as fellow RPers. While I fully expect there to be sexual tension within the scene itself, I actually detest excessive sex ... Unless it happens to be violent rape. Sex and romantic actions are only my bag within the context of something greater, such as forbidden love between homosexuals in the homophobic 80's, interracial play in the 1900s, or a passionate incestuous relationship. But on the matter of rape, if we go that route, then let's make it rape--not a consensual, "Oooh, you've forced me into this situation with one or two poses so now I'm going to completely break character and any sort of associated realism by producing puddles of girl seepage!" I hate that stuff. Just hate it. No, no, I want tears, screaming, and gut-wrenching sobs until the life is beaten out of a ho'. Limits are important to me to discuss early on. The only hard limit I have is vore, and even that can be iffy it's just soft vore with a mystical dragon beast (or rather, a really, really, really good mystical dragon beast RPer). Otherwise I'm into some pretty kinky stuff. Edit: Most recently I was propositioned for feet tickling. It is now a hard limit. Let's summarize: You: ParaRPer with an idea of your own kinks you'd enjoy working with, and a list of limits we should avoid. An individual with a good head on their shoulders that's capable of playing in public and with friend groups. Someone who enjoys at least some aspects of BDSM and/or taboo play. You should already have a public sim in mind that you wish to pay on, OR the capacity to brain storm with me until we come up with a suitable and private scenario for own unique interests.Me: Weirdo who likes being brutally victimized in her fantasies among other weird things, and who is occasionally nice and friendly OOCly. Also likes rum raisin ice cream.
  5. Sort of, but not really. More often than not, what I experience in SL merely serves as idea fodder for RL, or even what I RP with between my significant other and I. It helps to keep ideas fresh.
  6. Absolutely stunning and gorgeous sim. Shame that it's completely barren of actual RPers.
  7. One thing you said was key, and others (as you point out) have mentioned it: you weren't 'looking'. It just happened because things like that do happen. Obviously that's true with almost all of us in terms of the friends we have here, the ones we spend the most time talking to. We like them, That's how we became friends. It isn't exactly a huge leap to see friendship go beyond that level, if circumstances can allow it. This. This and and a thousand times this. My boy and I were amazingly well clicked friends before we began our relationship. We weren't looking for it... at least not with each other. I was attempting to start seeing people in the real world and had several play dates lined up for myself. He had stopped looking completely. But the moment I realized he meant something more to me than a friend, I immediately cut of fall communication with these people I planned to see in the real world, and devoted myself to furthering my friendship with him, not because I thought at the time I'd actually have a relationship with him, but because at the time, he was the most consuming and intoxicating individual I'd ever conversed with. I could stay up with him until six A.M. doing absolutely nothing, because he was just that enjoyable of a person. Funny, because we had a bit of a slow to our friendship! We were RPing together in the same area. One day I noticed that he was an exceptionally well written person, and while the interactions my character was having with another refused to allow for her to pay him much attention, I IM'd him my sincerest compliments to his writing style. He was a delightfully friendly person, and even more engaging to speak with in private messages... but I wasn't actively involved with the game at the time (Should note, this was not on SL). I would only pop on for a short time once every two weeks, and usually at the time I'd pop in, he'd be engaged with a different scene. We talked more than we RP'd, until I made time to RP for him. Then one day I wanted to play a game called League of Legends with him. I forced him to get on skype so I could have a better time explaining to him what the game mechancis were. He ended up hating LoL, but from the second or third conversation we had on skype... and I've confirmed with him on this, we both began falling for each other, madly and deeply. A year later, we've already met several times. We're going to be seeing each other in two weeks, actually, and I'm pretty excited. We already have plans to move in with each other by the end of the year. It's not easy. It takes a lot of work. it takes a lot of dedication. It takes a lot of working on our individual faults. We both have some issues that get in the way for us from time to time. But since our goal is to live and grow old together, we happily do what we can to make each other comfortable with the situation. We both learn new things about each other, and we both share a happy FRIENDSHIP along with a healthy sexual appetite for each other.
  8. Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice. I'm not entirely sure what to think about this thread. It's always been my MO in relationships to never form attachments to people who I will never be able to meet up with in RL. Any 'online' relationship I've ever started has always, always been with the intention that it was as real as any real life relationship I'd enter. For me, my truth is that I cannot separate how I feel about a person just because they're online and many miles away. I accept who they represent themselves as completely, and I represent myself in the only way I know how to--by being me. And so, KNOWING MYSELF--and note, to say you know yourself is an empowering phrase to murmur, even more so to believe in--I refuse to become attached to people who will not be a good match for me, whether that means location, financially, or health-wise. If I note that I feel those things toward them, I disappear. I do things with my life in other areas. I become more immersed in the real world for a reality check. I go to the park. I go through my banking account to see how wisely I'm using my own expenses. I start an exercise regime. I do all the things that are needed to get me to a place where the said person does not occupy my mind. This is IMPOSSIBLE to do after those romantic, deep feelings have already fully matured and formed, which take at least a year to properly build. It's always possible to hault in the early stages. That sickening feeling of need and dread of being without a person at the beginning of any romantic spark is just an illusion, and a proccupation of the mind. It's not love. Most of the times, it's not even lust. It's co-dependency starting to take root. I've been in a long distance relationship for a year with a man (who despises SL) for at a least a year. We live on separate ends of two different countries. Airplane tickets to see each other range between 800 ~ 1000. We both have jobs and bills to pay. Things are always rather bleak for me. There's nothing more I want than to be with him, every second of every day, and I'm forced to contend with that I only get to see him for a week at a time every four months, and that's if a financial crisis starts up. He is, simply put, my best friend and my only true sexual interest. I'm happier logging on just to half-heartedly hangout with him on Skype, than I am with every failed dating experiment I've tried in the real world. I nearly every free moment with him, and yet by the next day, that never seems enough. It's hopeless to think about, at times, that it will take either of us a year before we're able to live together. Longer than that to cement resident permits to be able to do it legally, to be able to find a permanent home for the both of us. Maybe things will go on the way as they are now forever and ever. I'm not sure. But it's bearable, for now. And I'm happy with the arrangement for now. I have the freedom I need, and we still learn new things about each other day. But if it were ever to become IMPOSSIBLE for us to move in with each other, or to be in a situation where we would see each other more often than this--and that's excluding if any health emergency should arise--then no, I wouldn't be able to go on with it. I would have to eventually end it, because I am a person with a life beyond the virtual word. I want to have children. I want to start and create a family one day. I can't do that by sitting on a computer or cell phone every day for my romantic needs. Until we're with each other, we're making it work so that we're both happy. We're completely open and upfront with each other. We make each other the priority. If we feel as if we're not getting enough attention, we speak up about it. If we're feeling particularly jealous about a certain individual, we don't mince words--we speak up about it, and talk it out like adults. If we have an issue with how either of us is behaving, we listen, and we don't get butthurt and wounded over honest opinions. We talk it out, and we come to a solution that fills us both with love for each other. We constantly find ways to keep ourselves immersed with each other. He won't play SL with me (hates it, loathes it), but he will play other games with me, like Guild Wars, and RP games. We CONSTANTLY watch movies and TV series with each other, by talking on skype while watching episodes and movies at the same time. We occasionally read to each other, when all else fails, since we like the sound of each other's voice. And when we have absolutely nothing to say, we both share with each other things that we find on the internet that amuses us. Many days have gone by where the majority of our interactions was sharing pictures we laughed at off of imgur together. If you feel Second Life is your only key to finding a new relationship, then don't give up hope, but don't do it stupidly either. Don't form an attachment with someone all the way across the world if you don't have the financial ability to buy an air ticket to go see them. Don't start an attachment with someone who you know to be a shady character. Don't form an attachment with a polyamorous individual when you're monogamous. Etc. etc. etc. Anywho, I wish you both luck! Sorry for the novelization.
  9. I'm trying to pick out my first land, but having never done this before, I'm running into a lot of dead ends and I feel as though I need more experienced people to help with this. I've already picked out the house I want. It's 60m tall with a 25 x 25m footprint, and 130 prims. I'd be happy with either a simple plot in the sky or in the middle of the ocean (preferably spaced from other people, or at least enough that I can reasonably limit my view space and not see them). However, a nice foggy land with mildly dark color schemes would also fit my purpose. Maybe woodsy, dead tree type areas, too. To some extent http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Parcels-for-Sale-Estate/Prices-SLASHED-at-Willowdale-Estate-Prettiest-Lots-in-SL/td-p/1417681 is also what I'm looking for (Willowdale), but I feel the colors are too bright and I don't want to be placed next to a beach like setting; I'd prefer either land locked or sea locked--Or even a craggy cliff overlooking the sea! But no beaches. I just don't like the color of them! So, how do I go about finding something like this? The property doesn't have to be big. I'd be happy if it was only able to fit my house in. I'm not realy thrilled with spending more than 2k linden a week, which I feel is reasonable for a small land lot that isn't pre-homed and furnitured. Any help? : >
  10. I'm curious: when you are buying clothes for your avatar, what is the main deciding factor for deciding to purchase? Is it because it is a specific style you enjoy, or is it because you feel your created avatar would specifically choose it him/herself? Do you buy something because a specific brand makes it? Does it need to be flawless quality / a fully meshed item? Do you buy an outfit because you're trying to impress the opposite sex, or because it impresses you? What themes do you try to go for? Quirky? Cutesy? Or dark and expressive?Perhaps you just like buying a wide variety of things so you can mix and match unique setups in your inventory? Personally, I buy outfits if I feel my RP character, Jaeden will wear them--and only if. This means I've bought a lot of pastel and 'cutesy' things that I would have otherwise passed up as being too "Barbie-ish." However, there are one or two times where I've built up an OOC outfit just for pure fun out of very cheap clothes just to match up a 'Candy-goth' style.
  11. Thanks! That solved the problem perfectly.. I swear, I'm such a retard sometimes... : ) I should have tried clicking add in the first place.
  12. Right-o. So I bought a fantastic pair of pants that I'm in love with. They attach at the pelvis, upper legs, and lower legs. However, I've found that the only two pair of boots I wanted to wear them each have an attatchment for for the lower legs, too! I've tried attaching them to different parts of the body and moving/editting them over the respective part they're supposed to cover, but it seems that no aprt of the body moves quite like the lower leg with my animations. Is there away to make them work together, or am I doomed to finding shoes that only attach to the feet, rather than the lower leg?
  13. Thank you for the links, and the advice. : ) Edit: Checked the links, and oh wow! Hal'Hina is poifect. Going to go hunt the shop down in game now and see if they've got demos. : )
  14. Hi! I've been searching through skins for females, and I have to admit, I'm baffled that so many created female skins can all look so much alike. I need a little help in finding a store, specific designer, or whatever, that sells female skins that appear natural, or unique in artistic shape. Examples of what I mean: https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/rockadore-Shapes-Ella/1805530 https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/DAMNED-JABU-Eyes-Black/2363656 (With this one, I feel that the eyes are far too dark, but the rest of the face is perfect) https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Violent-Seduction-Kirin-Fatpack/2313277 https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/S-u-s-h-i-Sophie-DEMO/2404524 ((REALLY love how unique this one looks.)) https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/D-O-D-I-E-Freebie-Blush/1922568 ((This skin could stand to lose a touch of its makeup... but I love it, too.)) https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/D-O-D-I-E-Bambi-Shape/1914559 ((Such a cute skin!)) --- Any suggests, advice... I'd love it. Hell, if you sell your own natural skins, please, feel free advertise yourself shamelessly... : ) Above all else, I'm trying to keep away from the "fresh painted ho-bag" look. Dramatic eye shadow, ABSOLUTELY blemish-less plastic faces... those aren't my bag. For the right skin, the amount of LInden is not an issue.
  15. Interesting topic. This is my first time to post on these forum, and quite honestly, the only time I've felt compelled to put my one cent in. That said, my opinion is strong on this matter, because too many times (in the type of RP I deal with), it's necessary for there to be a boundary between myself and my play partners. Why it happens: I think when people begin to RP (and this is a problem I find more commonly in people who are beginning, rather than others who continue to do it), they make characters that are extensions of themselves. Their second character may be a bit further from them in personality, and it will take months--years before they are comfortable with the idea of creating a character that is far placed from their personal self. Since we have a tendency to play characters who (in some shape or another) find situations appealing as we do, I think we can find ourselves attatched to the idea being portrayed in the RP. And there are those, of course, who take the idea further into a mental problem when they become too affixiated with it. There is, in my opinion, a rather large difference between choosing to rp scenes on subjects that you do find enjoyable (or avoiding rp topics you dislike). . . and being unable to recognize the difference between IC and OOC, or fictional character happenings versus OOC statement/action/commentary directed to the player personally. Likewise there are a great many nutjobs that spend their time purposefully making OOC problems into IC ones. A harsh statement maybe to say nutjobs, but I am sorry, if a person cannot maintain the distinction between a fictional pixel character they are animating via text on a screen, and their personal self and actual personal feelings, then there is a problem. They may indeed be unable to create a character that has a different range of reactions and actions from their own and those of their own life experience. But they certainly should be able to maintain the distinction between the pixel life, times, and responses of CharacterA and their own rl ones or they are one giant moment of BS waiting to happen. There is a distinction between OOC communication and IC communication...to help make it more clear. The moment someone informs me that they do not wish me to go into X place or talk to Y person, I politely yet firmly insist, that, if they cannot accept that I am not my character and that I am not their slave to entertain them solely, then I will remove myself from the situation entirely so that they can find time to seek their mother, therapist, or some other kind spirited individual who can teach them the difference.
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