[How and where do I get gestures from that ask the other person "is it ok to animate your avatar?"]

You can buy gestures from many places, in fact many gestures;  so many that you will do better to just use the search enter "gestures" though, I got plenty from just traveling around; there are too many gestures and places to buy and/or otherwise acquire them, for me to list here..I hope this helps. BTW  if I have misunderstood the question in someway, please let me know and I apologize for it. See I am just two weeks old. I just seen no answer to your querie and wanted so much to help