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Thorn Garsdale

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About Thorn Garsdale

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  1. I haven't given my avatar's age much thought. The only thing I hope is that my avatar doesn't look 20-ish.
  2. I think you just answered your own question. People don't tell because if they do tell you upfront then you "might" still spend time with them; which means you might not. People don't get accepted at face value in RL, why would they want to not be treated at face value in their second? My advice is that if it means that much to you, then don't put the burden of being honest on everyone else. Be honest with yourself and them and say upfront you are in SL as yourself and it matters to you who or what the person is behind the avie. Tell them you are interested in real life details. Second Life is a platform where people can come and live any existence they choose. That is it's beauty and evidently it's curse. People who come into a virtual reality expecting avatars to be a close representation of their real life owners are the ones deviating from the platform's intentions. Trust me, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't share my views anymore than you want to be with someone who doesn't share yours. I don't want to see anyone hurt by my hands, but you can hurt someone as well, by refusing to accept them as they come. Communication on both side is the key.
  3. I wanted to add something else. Someone made that analogy that if someone represented a painting as something it was really not, and sold it as such, then that would be fraud and a liable offense in real life. I understand the analogy, but I think it's flawed. In SL I am not selling you the RL me. I am selling you an avatar. An avatar with my soul, my feelings and my personality. My RL is not for sale. I am not sure why people would make up a complete false RL stories/backgrounds to go along with their SL indentity, especially if they don't have to. I don't believe most gender benders do that. I think it's just easier to believe that if they "lied" about one thing, they have lied about it all, which is totally understandable. With all this said, I don't think people who lie about their RL gender set out to lie. I believe what happens is they form very real connections with someone, and when it comes time to tell the truth, it doesn't come down to a decision of whether to lie or not, but rather whether to risk losing the relationship they have come to depend on or not. That might be selfish, but at least it's the truth.
  4. I think I understand what Elisheva is saying. Not everyone who comes into SL and chooses to play a avatar of a different gender is a sociopath, liar or only out to manipulate people for their own gain. Sure, there are sociopaths, liars and manipulators in SL, but I sincerely doubt it's just the gender benders. I think we all realize that and it's one thing everyone in this thread can agree on. There are plenty of jerks in SL and RL gender has nothing to do with it. I guarantee there are an equal number of people playing the same gender as their RL one and lying about details of their real lives as there are gender benders doing it. Lying is not strictly owned by the gender benders.
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