Mila Edelman

True, but, as a merchant, I've found that including the standard advert photo in the packages really helps the customers. Some outfits are slightly complicated to wear, and they like a picture to remind them of what it's supposed to look like.

This simply doesn't work for me. The lighting in SL is very different from what it is in Photoshop. Personally, I don't mind, if I have an outfit with 10 variations, taking 10 photos of a single pose. I just pop my avatar onto the photo studio, hit ctrl + `, wear the next folder, ctrl + ` again. Don't ever move your camera once you've decided on angle, and you can pretty much edit all 10 at once in Photoshop. It allows me to make some uniformity with offerings. While it can be argued that viewers and photo studios ALSO change the lighting a bit, it's still MUCH closer to the final product, for me at least, to take the photos properly.

You are so adorable! Trust me and all other posters, we've ALL worn a package instead of an outfit. Be thankful that you didn't hit "Replace All" when right-clicking on the package in your inventory. It makes you wear ONLY the package, and you're standing in public with all of your other "packages" hanging out. I think that this is one of the things that new users should be informed of immediately on creating an account. Most new users don't intend to end up in public in their birthday suits.

For a laugh break, here's a confession. I preface this by saying that I worked in the music industry for some years. Though I live and work in vintage, and my favorite types of music stem from the 30's and 40's, I have an extremely broad knowledge and appreciation of music, even those artists who are mocked (and sometimes rightly so). Anyway, big confession: I know most of the lyrics to Vanilla Ice's music. And I enjoy it.

Darrius Gothly wrote: Hmm .. maybe I'm just incredibly intimidating then. Or I have a different definition of "threat". In either case, I do see your distinction. Now .. do something bad and I'll show you how I threaten. *grin* PS: I gotta tell this story, cuz it's a funny internet threat story. I had warned a guy that was stalking and harassing women on a video chat site to stop or I would do my best to remove him from the 'Net. His response was to send me a still picture (it was a vidchat that used stills and accompanying text) of his pistol aimed right at his webcam. Knowing that he lived in the Netherlands and I lived in the USA .. my response to him was rather short and to the point: "Please DO shoot your own webcam .. you idiot!" PPS: Yes, he backed off. Here's where I engage in a little amusing fantasy. I have a lot of guns, big and small (yes, they're all registered and legal; we are hobbyists). I think I might consider sending back a picture of me in my white granny nightgown, holding my AK-47. Or the shotgun. No accompanying threats. Just a picture.

In SL, it usually involves phone calls, faxes or snail mail. It's nothing new. Since there have been online communities, there have been bans that were set for the wrong reasons against folks who did nothing. It's unfortunate, but it happens. And if your account is important enough to you, you might want to fight for it. Sometimes, it's an oversight on the part of admins, one which many (but not all...some folks have a hard time being wrong) are quick to fix if a problem is discovered. Other times, a person went to great lengths to make the AR'd person look really guilty, when the person did nothing. I have been an admin and/or participant in many online communities for over 15 years. I've seen it all. On a note unrelated to your post, KeeperS (just tacking this on to my post to get it all in one post), I am bothered by folks who think that those of us who get regular AR threats from others might deserve it. If you own a sim (which I do) or if you own a store (which I do), or even just a venue, you will, sooner or later, have to eject or ban someone. And some of those folks will get mad and think it's unjustified. And some of those folks will threaten to AR you, even though it's your right to kick them, and even though they broke your rules (which are your right to have). Hell, when 1920's Berlin is very busy, and we have to remove folks, it's just sort of expected that the admins get threats of ARs (or called Nazis, or both). I couldn't be an effective admin if I bowed or cried about every disgruntled visitor who called me nasty names or threatened to AR me. It would make an environment wherein anyone who does those things would get away with whatever they want. While communities and their admins need to co-exist, some communities need or want rules. Not enforcing those rules for anyone who gets into a snit means a less enjoyable environment for both visitors and those who pay to live there, who DO follow the posted rules. So,yeah, anytime I'm given the "I'll report you!" line, my response is still "Good luck with that." PS: Griffin, Venus and Scylla, I heart you.

I have to admit, on a social and mothering sort of level, it bothers me to ignore the threats. Not because I think the AR will go through. Not because I'm afraid of the consequences. It's that it's a sad commentary on the person's thinking and behavior (often stemming from entitlement). If they're threatening to AR you because they didn't get their way, it's likely not the first time the person's done it, and enough previous incidents were successful (more making stupid threats...AR's, specifically, for stupid things would be unlikely to be successful) that the person learned that this behavior was a good means to what the person hoped to achieve. It makes me sad for them. Enough people caved that this person thinks it's fine to bully people like this.

It's just a childish and stupid retort. It annoys me, because it's similar to the Godwin, or the threat of a lawsuit. A person no longer wants to think rationally, or argue with intelligence, so they say something that dumb. In real life, the perception of authority has become increasingly frightening, especially the courts. People threaten to sue over the dumbest things, because they believe that the threat alone will get you to do whatever it is they want. The hoped effect is practically identical to that of telling someone you'll AR them over something dumb. They know that folks (especially Americans) are so afraid of having to enter the court system because it appears to be very complicated and scary, so, if the "s word" is mentioned, they often will give in. 7 years of my 14 year career were spent with the most well-known lawyer in the US (not to mention his entire team) as a client. While what I did for them had nothing to do with law, you spend enough time in that environment, you make a few friends, and you learn a few things. I, for one, learned not to quake when some idiot threatens to sue, or AR. When folks threaten to sue over something stupid, or to AR over something stupid, I simply say: "Good luck with that." In 1920's Berlin, we've had a LOT of people threaten to AR when we've had to ask them to leave (for not following the most basic rules, like wearing clothes...any clothes). "Good luck with that" usually shuts them up. I did once speak to a CSR about the problem of AR threats, and did receive actual confirmation that there's nothing to worry about. If it's not against TOS, or intellectual property laws, you're fine. If, for some reason, you get dinged by LL, it can be reversed if you raise hell. One jackass (who shall remain nameless) threatened also to sue (yes, sue) for a few dollars lost when we had to ban his group from our property (we did, however, give a partial refund for another piece of property, and removed them, because we no longer wanted them around, at all). However, it's in the rental agreement: you grief, you lose your spot immediately, no refund. He genuinely threatened an international lawsuit over a few dollars. Overdramatic, AND he had no case. Ahh, people.

Hehe, I used to have my house in Berlin. I chose not to keep it when we went to the full sim, because I work too much, and someone else would probably enjoy it more. But, I did use my bed for sleeping, back when I used the house. Also, when I got the flu really bad in RL, I decorated the room with flu remedies (medications and matzoh ball soup) and friends came to sit in a chair and chat with me. Since I was only there to chat, being too sick to get work done, it was fitting. Most of the time, however, I have just been humorous with my "sleep." My previous shop, I built in an attic, and I put a lamp, an overturned book, and a blanket and pillow up there. I'd leave my avatar up there to sleep all night when I went to bed. On Esoterica (the sim where my main store is), when we have holiday parties, it's become tradition to find an interesting way to leave myself floating in the pond overnight (I have a business line and a great computer, so it doesn't complain about SL being left on all night). First time, I woke up to find that the owners had placed a lifesaver next to me. Another, I decorated my sleeping corpse with floating beer cans and pretty much every freebie picnic food I had (yes, there are ice cream cones mixed in with the beer cans). For Halloween on Esoterica, I also used the noose liberally. I know I spent one night "hanging" from my shop's porch. And another, I "hung" myself from the porch of the haunted house I'd put up. Halloween "sleeping": My attic (not the best photo): Was really excited about a particular release of Retropolitan Magazine, so I camped out in front of the press office: After big party at Esoterica, absinthe got the better of me: After the 4th of July party at Esoterica:

Shape maker needed immediately for vintage shop. We have plenty of Northern European shapes here. What we need desperately is an African American face. You will work with our pre-existing body shape, and change the face. Previous shape-making experience required. You must bring samples of your work to the interview. Contact Mila Edelman (whether she's online or not) in-world immediately. 

I can tell you what I personally hire for. A lot of designers do hire writers to do their product descriptions. You see, I design vintage clothing. My major in school was history (that includes history of social customs, home life, fashion, etc). I'm also told I'm an excellent text-based roleplayer. You'd think I'd be the best person to describe what I make, because I know the most about it anyone alive today probably could, and I write well. You'd be wrong. I write product descriptions either like an old lady, or stereo instructions. It is a point against me that I'm also the designer, because I know more about the specific product than most customers care to know. I'm too close to it. I recognize that I'm not objective. Copy writing is actually a specialized skill, and doesn't reflect a person's ability to write in other areas, at all. So, I hire writers to do the product descriptions for me. I have a few writers I work with (one main one, but I go with alternates when she's on vacation). I send them the finished product, or photos of it if I'm not done with packaging but want the write-up to be ready to go. They send me back a 2-3 paragraph descript. I pay them $500. One of my writers, I have through a friend, but my main writer, I found by simply placing an advert in the classifieds tab in-world. I interviewed a few, and picked her.

It might be an effective fundraising tool. "Pay the donation meter to keep Jo and Mila from rising from the dead."

Jo Yardley wrote: Mind you, toontown would be an awesome sim...:matte-motes-inlove: Project number #5986 added to the list. :matte-motes-evil-invert: At this rate, we'll be building from the grave.

Clarissa Lowell wrote: Mila Edelman wrote: Kelli May wrote: I've been told I need bigger boobs, a smaller butt, a larger butt, a slimmer waist, shorter arms, longer legs, narrower shoulders, less muscle, less fat... but also complimented for the same 'deficiencies'. The "bigger boobs" part cracked me up. Not because someone had the nerve to say it (yay anonymous world--I've had men say that to me, too), but I've heard it before. Some men try to pick women up by "negging" them - in real life and in Second Life. neg - verb - see: mild to outrageous insult in an attempt to deflate a woman's self esteem and make her ripe for the picking. I hate negging. :smileymad: Err, does that ever work? I wish more women would be happier to be alone, instead of wanting to go home with a creep like that. Self-esteem, people. Gotta have it. My partner makes a joke like that, we've known each other long enough (10 years now) that I know he's joking. And he knows I know that. A stranger says that, he'd best be ready to wear whatever it is I'm drinking.

Penny Patton wrote: There was a thread on breast size a couple of months ago. One thing I've noticed is that people underestimate their breast size to an extreme degree. I've seen people who clearly have DD's talking about their "modest B cups". Then again, I think I may be the only person on the grid who has actually taken the time to measure their chest. (Which you can do by hopping on a pose stand and using tiny 10cm prims as a measuring tape.) My avatar is pretty exaggerated in that area so I'm not criticizing large breasts, but it's interesting to see people with huge breasts who seem to honestly think they're small, in the same way you tend to see 7-8' tall giants walking around stating in their profiles that they're only 6' tall. It really messes with perceptions. As far as things like arm length, human arms tend to fall within a very narrow ratio of proportion. Your arms (hands included) should be, when stretched out to either side, as long as you are tall. Within about 3 inches. Given some very odd limits to the avatar shape editor, women have a much more difficult time getting proportional arm lengths with taller avatars. My avatar is 5'7" (actual height measured by prim, not the incorrect height of the appearance editor and most scripted height detectors), and my arms are just right at about 90 on the arm length slider. I have definitely noticed that. Someone walking around with zeppelins thinking she's a very small size. I'd honestly like to see more REAL A, B, C and D cups walking around, just to give folks a perspective. I've tried to explain, before, to Amazonians that they'll look better in vintage (when that's what they want to wear) if they shrink a bit in height and wear a realistic chest. No woman of respectable character would stuff her bra as much as it appears they do. I will rarely explain this unless asked, but when asked, you've opened that door. I'll speak my mind.

Kelli May wrote: I've been told I need bigger boobs, a smaller butt, a larger butt, a slimmer waist, shorter arms, longer legs, narrower shoulders, less muscle, less fat... but also complimented for the same 'deficiencies'. The "bigger boobs" part cracked me up. Not because someone had the nerve to say it (yay anonymous world--I've had men say that to me, too), but I've heard it before. My "me" shape has 34D's. She has 34D's because I have 34D's (I developed early). In real life, they're noticeably large, especially next to my small waist. It's been an obstacle in my life, because in meeting new people, few look at my face. And then there's the stereotype about blondes with large chests. There's also the back pain, and the danger of taking out small children if I turn around too quickly (it's happened, sorry to my nephew). But I got my grandmother's shape, and it's a reminder, every day, of where and who I come from. But compared to the 42NNN's I see walking around, I must seem nearly flat-chested! I see my "me" shape when walking around, it's ME exploring. Great, fun. To have some random men in clubs tell me I should add to the chest, I look at myself and go, "Really? Do I NEED more back pain?"

Pussycat Catnap wrote: Mila Edelman wrote: Yeah, I'm noticing an increasing number of new users who have no idea about what's going on (even with some really basic movement tools). When I joined, we were dropped at some help place. We had to go through a tutorial thing before we could do anything else. Its not that there are more of them, but that 'we' are no longer among them. I got dropped into help island too, and it still took me a day to figure out how to TP out, and a long time to figure out assorted things about the UI, building, moving about, preferences, and so on. Its easier to forget how confusing it was when you started the further you get from that point. Not really. It's not my perception that there are more or less n00bs, or that, because they can't do what I do now, the number is higher. Just a higher percentage of new users who weren't given the basic tutorials. I have been in contact with the "new user" crowd for quite a few years now, due to several projects, and I'm pointing out an increase in new users who aren't trained in the same basic things we were. I still have to recall and recount the story of a friend of mine. He's actually my RL partner's good friend. He wanted to come to SL to see what it's all about, and to check out my business. I thought that was kind of cool, because few from my first life bother to come see what I do for a living (those of you that have, many blessings on you). It's mostly just an esoteric notion to most. I got a real wake-up call when I gave him download instructions and waited awhile. I figured he'd be going through the tutorial. To my surprise, I got an out-world IM from him a short while later, asking me why I'd sent him to download software to go play on an adult-oriented island. He wasn't dropped in a tutorial. He wasn't dropped on a place that was helpful. He was dropped, with no learning, onto an adult area (back before those were segregated). That *I* would send him to a place like that was just unthinkable. This was, sadly, becoming commonplace.

That's not always an insult, either. I recall the first time I'd ever seen a large woman walk into my store. She was very pretty and I admired her willingness to use a realistic shape, and not one formed in the plastic surgery offices of Beverly Hills. Hell, I told her so! I ended up talking to her for quite a bit, and I rented some shop space on a sim she ran.

I think this is also an unfortunate problem with user perception. So merchants are often boxed into using avatars that look "off" to appeal to the most customers. When I had thighs that were of a normal shape and size, I looked squatty and fat to the customers. I think so many of them were used to seeing Amazonian women that they forgot some of us don't choose that route. As much as I'm thankful for my friend for making the new shape for modeling, because it did wonders for my sales, and I wouldn't know where to begin making something distorted, I don't like wearing it because I feel mildly ridiculous with thighs that long. PS: My RL shape though, my hands ARE that small. I get all of the family antique jewelry because I'm the only one that can wear it.

Yeah, I'm noticing an increasing number of new users who have no idea about what's going on (even with some really basic movement tools). When I joined, we were dropped at some help place. We had to go through a tutorial thing before we could do anything else. Of course, as n00bs back then, we also got system hair and system clothes only. Hehe, they were awful. However, I'd take starting out ugly ANY day over getting a slightly better avatar to start, but not knowing what the heck I'm doing.

Venus Petrov wrote: I know better than to go around 'offering' unsolicited advice. When I was a n00b, I made my own shape which was really just playing with the sliders. I decided to purchase a shape (nomod) and stuck with it for awhile until I wanted something better (aka mod). I got something that was kind of sporty over three years ago now and have modded the shape to suit me. I recall when a close friend saw me nearly two years ago for the first time in awhile and she told me that my avatar was 'fat'. I laughed. Just goes to show, the only person you really need to satisfy is yourself. Regarding only needing to satisfy yourself, if you're not selling, that's true. But I'm thankful every day that my friends held an intervention about the avatar I used in my adverts. They truly cared that I was able to maximize sales, and I was failing at that, because people got the impression that my clothes might make you look fat, as I looked in my adverts, when I wore my "me" shape. Sales have since skyrocketed. When I have someone complaining to me, though, that they don't like how they look, even if it's a stranger, I will usually offer to help find ways for them to be happy with their looks (when I say I felt out the situation regarding the woman who looked like a blow-up doll, I mean it). Why stick with a look you're desperately unhappy with? Honestly, some n00bs don't know that they CAN change their shape. It's not that they're stupid. It's that they just haven't learned all the ins and outs yet.

For me, whether or not I tell someone depends entirely on who it is, and the situation. If it's a friend, and I notice something's really off, in a way that I know that friend wouldn't generally intend, I will say something privately. They'd do the same for me. My good friend and fellow designer once pulled me aside and had an "ass intervention," back when we shared a workshop. Many might be offended by it, but I was thankful. While I was using a "healthy" shape, especially for vintage clothing, it came off as fat in the product photos. She and a mutual friend then took my "me" shape (which I still use to this day) and reshaped it for modeling purposes. So I wear the model one for my OTP work, and my normal, healthy "me" one when I'm just running about as myself. For my friends who want me to criticize, such as those who design as I do, I will usually be more inclined to say something earlier. In some cases, we may own businesses in the same genre, but we still want to help each other look our best. Occasionally, very occasionally, I'll see a stranger who looks, well, strange. It's usually quite obvious that they hadn't meant to look that way. They're just really new to the sliders. One such example was a woman who walked into Berlin looking and acting in all other ways normal, but she looked like a blow-up doll. I took a feel for the situation (including checking how new her avatar was via her profile), and then I approached her privately, and asked very gently if that was her intention. She told me, no, but she was new and someone told her that this was the look everyone was going for, and gave her that shape. I could tell before the conversation even turned to that topic that she wasn't happy with how she looked. That afternoon turned out very well. We went shopping, got her a shape. I think we even got her a skin. I rarely butt in to that level, but it was clear early on that the woman was NOT happy with the shape she'd been given originally. On the whole, I tend to keep my opinions to myself. But for friends who want me to offer criticism, or for strangers who express clear displeasure at the way they look and a desire to change it, I am happy to help. When people want to change something about themselves, but just don't know how, I really don't mind helping. I'd want someone to help me if I were new and didn't know where to start on the road to an avatar I enjoy.

I know what you mean. For ages, I've always had to ask myself whether I'm wearing my apron over my dress, or my coat. For some destinations (such as marketplaces for the working class), a coat would absolutely be worn over the apron. But I had to choose, and I detested that. I know, it probably seems goofy to most, to think about those things. But history is my passion.

Actually, you bring up an interesting question of mine. I have had a lot of larger avis stop in my store, and tell me that they like my outfits on their shapes. So I feel a bit of success in that. I guess, because my own avatar is more normally shaped (read: with curves), I DO consider the needs of non-Twiggy avatars. While I do check my designs with my chunkier, personal avatar, and it comes out fine, I am not quite sure about how common, larger avatars are put together. I'd play with the sliders, but I'd like to think I am using a BBW avatar that would more commonly be used in the BBW community, and work from that. Is there a good place to get such shapes? (Or would some of you send me yours?)