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Courtney Sinister

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  1. In my opinion it depends on two things. First, as others have said, it depends on what your rl partner thinks is cheating and the spoken or unspoken agreements you have. If you are breaking a promise to the person you love, it is cheating. Second, sex in sl is not by any stretch of the imagination the same thing for everyone. Those who think of it as "pixel sex" and to whom it is two avatars jumping on poseballs and grunting are doing something that most people would not consider cheating (and are also missing out). If you are connecting to another person sincerely, even if anonymously, in sexual activity, I think most people would consider it cheating. If you share an emotional aspect that reaches you deeply as you express your intimacy with that person across the internet, you are one of those. If you weave a shared erotic fantasy with another human through sl, and feel it in rl, you are most likely cheating. Then you just have to ask yourself--is it worth it?
  2. I don't think the "quick to start a relationship, quick to end one" are always a sign of insincerity or roleplaying. For people who really immerse in sl, the feelings are often very strong and very real very fast. In sl we are connecting heart to heart and mind to mind. Many people, especially those not yet jaded by seeing so many bang-bang quick relationships and break-ups, are overwhelmed by the surprise of stong emotions and connections sl can allow. I know I was. My first sl partnership back in 2007 was ridiculously fast, but it was also very intense. The feelings certianly were sincere for both parties, and carried into rl, complete with loss of sleep and appetite. It wasn't roleplay. It wasn't false. We still feel affection when we meet. Later, I found the deeper relationship. This was with someone I had been close to for nearly 2 years in sl, and we are still happily partnered and committed after over 3 years togehter. No one can tell me it is roleplay or fiction. It is different from the first one. It is deeper, and extends to rl as well. But that does not mean that first one was not real too, in a very special SL way.
  3. Sometimes it doesn't work. I know one sl/rl marriage that is a disaster. However, most of the ones I know are wonderful. My sl partner of over 3 years is a big part of my rl, though we have stepped away from talk of making it a fulltime rl partnership as well. On the plus side, in sl you relate mind to mind and heart to heart (if you are sincere when you are in world). This can create deep connections where they might not have had a chance to form if the distractions and superficial nicities of rl aquaintanceships had to be overcome.
  4. I think sl is just mad at you for calling it a "game." But seriously, I think your graphics card is not all you think it is. Lower your graphics settings and try another viewer and see if it improves.
  5. As people have said, it is simple to know if you log on or off in sl. They shouldn't currently be able to detect alts easily, unless you are not careful. I enjoy determining who is an alt of who, it's sort of a hobby. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't use spy tech like Redzone to do it, and if you don't hassle them about it. I keep the knowledge to myself. What I use to determine who is an alt of who is the silly mistakes most people make. They introduce alts to the people they know, then log on and off contigously. If Fred and Sue are seldom on at the same time, and one always logs on within a couple minutes of the other logging off, it gives a pretty good clue. If they have the same groups, make the same typos, have the same indosyncracies, you have some good confirmation. If they bring up the other account to ask how you feel about them or show up in a place they shouldn't know about when people close to the other account are there, it is just getting childish.
  6. If Lindens keep pushing for sl to be things that it is not, it will only get worse. SL is poor facebook style social network. SL is not the right platform for people who want a rl chatroom. SL is not technically appealing to pure "gamers." What SL has always been best at is being a virtual world in which people can immerse, create, and interact, leaving behind just a little of their rl when they do. As it moves away from this, either because the teirs are too high to allow free creation of the resident's fantasy world and its components, or because of the promotion of less immersive uses of sl have changed the "atmosphere," or because of technical barriers, it will founder. I agree that the answer is advertising, not upgrading. SL should be advertised as what it IS, not as something that can fit ever niche for everyone. That advertising should be aimed inworld as well as out. People won't spend high tiers for a spot in a chat room. People won't spend L$1600 for virtual shoes if they are just here to look for gems. They will spend (both time and money) to feel that magic that brought us here but which is more and more elusive in today's SL.
  7. As far as what viewers, it is not only important to know how many people are actually logging on with which viewer, but who they are. As far as I can see in the places I go, very few people who have used sl for more than a few months use the sl viewers, most veterans still use phoenix, with a still fairly small but growing number moving to Firestorm and a handful using other third party viewers. The sl veiwer users are also far more likely to not have payment information on file. If most of those doing the buying in sl are not using the SL viewers, that is important information to know.
  8. I also refuse to give into the body nazis and turn myself into a sl stick-woman to fit into mesh. To me it appears that the reason it is all being made so tiny is that it has the same visual effect as the much (and rightfully) maligned "skirt" layer of clothing--which is good for some jackets and not much else. Like the skirt layer, mesh, as used now, seems to make tiny asses look big and well shaped asses look planet-sized. At least that is how the dresses I tried on worked. I assume that is one reason Mesh clothing makers are building garments for stick figure avatars. My shape is ME. I am not willing to carve off parts of myself to fit into any fashion so that mesh implementors can have their pounds of flesh. I sincerely hope that a solution is found for this, or else that mesh is abandoned in the fashion world. It will be better put to use in other areas.
  9. Peggy, thanks for the reminder, forums are full of cranks and trolls. You fit the role well. I see nothing in your post worth adressing, so I'll stop responding and hope some find it interesting at least, if not helpful.
  10. Hehe I'm sure you are right Dres. I know there are many sl users (like you and me!) who are not clammy or basement dwelling at all, it is just that when someone voices, that is the image that hits me.
  11. Pussycat, I think I did a bad job with my descriptions of the type. they were meant to show levels of immersion in sl, not openness about rl necessarily. I guess a good way to say it may be that the archetype Ones are always their rl self in their own mind in sl, Archetype Tens are always their sl self in their own mind in sl, and all the real people are somewhere in between.
  12. Peggy, I am convinced you have either not read my posts or are unable to understand them. Insulting how someone views sl is arrogant for very clear reasons, and that is what I am pointing out. Rather than me telling them they need to get in line I am conplaining that they are telling others to get in line. Please tell me what line I am asking people to join? I have clearly stated that all uses are legitimate. If you can't understand that basing the use of a line for mesaring such differences on the Kinsey scale (which is about sexuality) has nothing to do with sexuality in this context, nothing I can write here can help you. But you may have a point, most troubles may not come from differences in how we use sl, it may be that some people are just jerks like you who will attack everyone and everything without bothering to read it well enough to be able to actually know what was said.
  13. Randall, I think your use of sl is a great one. As far as people who don't like to be asked about location, it isn't anything about wanting to "hook up" or not, in the case I'm talking about it is because many sl users want to relate to other users as residents of sl, not of rl and don't want to be immediately indentified as their rl selves. It is sort of tossing the illusion out the window from the start. Most immersive people I know don't mind sharing location a little later in their discussions with a person, I realize users like you don't feel that way, and that is just as legitimate. It is exactly that disconnect between how different people use and think of sl I think we have to be able to talk about if we want to keep sl great for everyone.
  14. It was not primarily meant to be a survey, but a way to discuss a real issue. There is a fair amount of conflict going on out there around what sl is and what it should be. I thought this might help people talk about it. Every day I see sl being pushed toward being a social network. Every day I hear arrogant asses saying "It isn't real!" "You can't really touch!" It has certainly gotten more that way since I started in 2007. Your comments about how people don't fit one number on the scale seem to eerily echo my coments when I said the exact same thing. You could have just used cut and paste in fact. No one is trying to pin you down. I based this roughly on the Kinsey scale, which is also not meant to be something that identifies a set permanant number for everyone, but which has turned out to be a very useful tool for discussing sexuality.
  15. If it is asked within the first few lines of my first conversation with someone, I respond to the question "Where are you from?" with the answer, "My partner and I have a place on _____ Island." That will either stop further rl questions, get them to ask again while allowing the issue to be addriessed, show their complete lack of geographic sense, or scare them off totally. I really don't mind the question under the right circumstanses, but it seems to me that asking age and location in the first minutes of talking is ignoring the potential of sl--unless you are one of those social network users. Just to be clear, I'm not saying one way is better than another, though I certainly have my preferance. I also fear very much that the Lindens are favoring the ones on the scale these days to the point where I wonder if they even know we 6-10's exist (and do most of the shopping).
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