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Why is it that I never meet any nice men in SL?


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Where are all the men?

Or is it cause I am at the wrong places?

I want to find a man I can have fun with and talk about all kind of things.

I enjoy SL very much and I want to share my time with someone.

My language is actually german but I don´t know many german people here...most of my friends are from other places.

Maybe I´m a little too shy sometimes but that´s only cause I don´t want me to impose.

I would like to have a man in SL who has a big shoulder to lean on...who cares about me and loves me the way I am.

Well...I don´t give up hope...no matter how often I get the wrong man here...:0)

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I think all the nice men in SL are either:

(a) already in relationships;

(b) are not here to partner catch.

© more shy than you.

(d) hiding, because it is a leap year, and they are afraid women are always to ask them for marriage on Day One.

But do not give hope Sonja. One day your prince will come.

froggy prince.jpg

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sighs ---sonja---sometimes one must be bold,and reach out to that guy (with the interesting profile) just standing around next to you. Take a deep breath, exhale----smile, and say:  Hi!  how are you?---you might be pleasantly surprised.:matte-motes-bashful-cute:

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Sonja Smedley wrote:

Where are all the men?

Or is it cause I am at the wrong places?

I want to find a man I can have fun with and talk about all kind of things.

I enjoy SL very much and I want to share my time with someone.

My language is actually german but I don´t know many german people here...most of my friends are from other places.

Maybe I´m a little too shy sometimes but that´s only cause I don´t want me to impose.

I would like to have a man in SL who has a big shoulder to lean on
...who cares about me and loves me the way I am.

Well...I don´t give up hope...no matter how often I get the wrong man here...:0)

I know it can be hard to find a great guy in SL...but saying you want one with a big shoulder to lean on...Id think gives out the wrong sort of message maybe? A relationship , specially a new one..doesnt need to be a support system...but fun? Of course, when a relationship develops and matures...being a support for one or the other..is important.

Id suggest to stop searching and have fun yourself...do things you enjoy...that way youll be around people who also enjoy similar things to you , dont look so hard..but take SL for what it is and have a blast !

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they are here..but it's hard to find them when you are looking for them..

the places i have found good men..was when i was  not looking for them but involved in something in world where we both had something in common..then things kind of click with each other after a bit..

not that i had that kind of relations with them..they mostly ended up being good sl friends because i have a man in rl..but a lot of the times they won't be in a place where you go looking for a good man..

you kind of have to fall into them or them into you..

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Nooooo....I don´t think so.

You really think I exspect too much?

I don´t need a superman or a prince...only a person I can feel connected with.

But when I am honest I dare not to talk first when I see there is a nice man.

I always wait until they talk to me.Maybe this is wrong.I don´t know.

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Hi again, Sonja. I have some friends who have a music venue, where dancing and chatting and friendships are made.  Mostly people speak German there, but it is not open every day. This is the SLurl. Out of hours the music stream is country & western (!), but when the DJ is in, he takes requests - rock, hard, soft, classic, and other songs. (I am sorry I do not know your preference in music.)

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Furki/232/128/97

Maybe this is a good place for you to visit when it is open. 

Galaxy Dreams used to be a wonderful place to meet people from all over the world, again with German speakers and DJ, but unfortunately this is closed now.

As others have suggested though, look just for a chat, and see if something does develop from many friendships.  Sometimes it can be like panning for gold to find those who you would choose to keep close to you.



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"I always wait until they talk to me." thats a problem. you have to call his attention somehow, make him have an intention to talk to you, to consider that you may be a good person to know. maybe you could do something to differentiate yourself from the rest of the avis around, maybe the way you look, what you do, you have to present yourself as a person interesting to know. once you have his attention and talks to you, is up to you to keep yourself interesting and not make him continue what he is doing and talk to other persons.

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Sonja Smedley wrote:

Nooooo....I don´t think so.

You really think I exspect too much?

I don´t need a superman or a prince...only a person I can feel connected with.

But when I am honest I dare not to talk first when I see there is a nice man.

I always wait until they talk to me.Maybe this is wrong.I don´t know.

you can talk to them first ..but make it as if you are interested in something else..not them at all..like asking for directions or something in the sim..

i meet men all the time that are good men..a lot are when i am shopping..or like the other day when i was riding my horse..

a man asked a question in general chat about what a certain acronym meant for the saddles to the horses..

i road over on my horse so he could see me and then answered his question..

then he had more questions..the next thing you know..we were talking for a good while about places to ride and all kinds of things..

if i were looking for a man myself..i would have added certain things to how i acted..maybe a little cuteness and giggles and subtle things to see if he was interested..while still remaining about other things but the true intentions hehehehe

if we did get along ..most times  it would end up being added to their friends list or in a nice date like going dancing or in that case maybe riding or something..

this is just one situation really..there is no one way to find a good man..it's just one way you can go up to them first and talk to them..

but if i am out in a club or anywhere..i will never approach them first..unless there is a safe window for it..

society is trying to tell us..yes just go up and do what you feel say whats on your mind..be up front and you will be more respected.times have changed..lol

i wonder how many breakups or one night stands that person  was in before they realized it's time to be subtle and less up front hehehe

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Yes, indeed, Wynn is right. And there's nothing wrong with being you the one to start a bit of chatting. I did so a few weeks ago, on February 25th, with a man of my same country, Spain; I saw him at one ballroom, I said him hello and we've been hanging out together, talking, dancing, going shopping and visiting all sort of places every single day ever since...give it a try; thre's nothing to lose, and many nice moments of enjoying SL with someone you get along well with to gain

good luck!

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Hi Sonja! 

If you don't mind, I'd like to give you my perspect, a single (hopefully nice)) guy. 

 

Where are you looking? If you're looking in sex sims all the time you're wasting your time if you are trying to find a nice guy. 

 

Are you approaching them? Despite what the rumors, guys arn't always chasing skirts. I'm very willing to just have a good time in second life and if someone shows up that interests me, all the better. I'm not going to make it the focus of my time though.

Want to meet me? Come up to me and say hi.  Say you noticed something about my avi or something that I'm doing. Strike up a conversation if you're the one on the hunt. I can guarentee you I'll respond and probably have some other things to contribute to a budding conversation. If you want the guy to start I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps just go do things rather than standing next to a guy at a club and not saying anything.

Lastly, and this is an important one from my perspective: I don't mean any slight against you as I don't know you, but if a girl comes up to me and goes full escort mode I'm not interested. Sure, maybe at some point sex will come up, but if it's the only thing that comes up, it'll be a hit it and quit it at best. You make yourself look like a sexual object, and that's no bueno.

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I have to disagree. I met a real mean one at Sweethearts a couple of days ago. I had to mute her. There's also another real mean one I could introduce you to at Lar's. She has yet to be added to my mute list because she's knows when to shut up.

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