Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
ChristineAngelHart

A real man

Recommended Posts

I sometime have a problm knowing if the man I'm talking too, is really a man,once it turn out to be another woman. I'm a woman and I only go out with men, here in SL and in the real world. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how at least in SL,how I can make sure if I'm talking to a real man?                 ChristineAngelHart

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Short of getting RL contact information and/or webcam with them, you can't.

 

Welcome to the flip-side of the problems many men deal with in SL.....and it's FAR more common for men to play women than the other way around.......

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't.

If it matters that much to you, stop seeking relationships in an anonymous venue like Second Life, and stick to real life.

Seriously, ANY validation you can ask for can be faked. Even asking the person to meet you in real life, the person you chat with on-line could send a friend that has been primed with information, rather than seeing you themselves.

Voice chat? They could get a friend to speak for them, or could attempt to use voice changing software.

Web cam? They could get a friend to appear on-camera for them.

Linden Lab has no clue about the real-life gender of any user, and they have more info on a user than any resident has access to. Anything used to create an account could potentially be false.

The closest you could come to 'validation' would be meeting them in real life and watching as they log on with that avatar's account. And that can be faked merely by them sending someone else who knows their password.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As others have said, not possible. Second Life is a fantasy world, where you can be whoever and whatever you want, so yes, some women choose to be men (and many men choose to be women). Adults choose to be children. Humans choose to be "furries" or outright animals. If you're upset about the idea that you may end up "dating" a woman in SL, stop looking for dates in SL. Look in the real world for your romantic relationships, and forge friendships in SL without any romantic entanglements.

I've seen many men in SL asking for "voice verification" of gender. I tend to roll my eyes and walk away, not because I don't want to reveal my gender (which is, incidentally, the same inworld and in RL - I am female in both), but because I don't see why it matters in a world where anyone can be anything they want. Not to mention, many of those who insist on voice verification won't offer it themselves, which I find hysterical.

Either reconcile yourself with the fact that you may end up "dating" a woman again, or stop dating in SL.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


ChristineAngelHart wrote:

I sometime have a problm knowing if the man I'm talking too, is really a man,once it turn out to be another woman. I'm a woman and I only go out with men, here in SL and in the real world.

With your eyes closed during that most passionate moment...does it matter who/what is writing the words?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why do you care so much? Its not that you are going to marry them or date in RL right? If you have a good time, then everything should be fine. What does it matter at that moment if the one behind the avatar is a woman, a dog or your neighbour? :catwink:

Also it is most common that more female avatars have men behind them than the other way. So you will have a low risk of meeting a woman with a male avatar, but you should suspect your girlfriends here to be not so female as the appear to be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a device from PM something or other....uh, he joined forces with teh Hippo Technologies dude and they are now like...uh, fighting windmills or something. Ok, Joke based on the website I just visited! Uh, yeah. The device gives you the persons IP. You must then do your home work to find out how to get skype or some video chat going. Then, after that...well, you basically will use that technique to check thier IP you are connected with. Oh, wait...what is the IP? IP address.

But, they could get a friend to pose as them, in order to keep the ruse going. Besides, they could be cross dressers in RL!I think you will need to get RL contact info and have a lot of long chats.

anyway, yeah...here is the product: http://productpm.com/realitycheck.aspx

 Maybe the internet stores wisdom on telling a man from a women via visual checks...I mean, cross dressers?

Adams apple, voice and brow are soem common ones I hear. But, those are all reletive and some women are prone to looking more masculine and there is no coreleation that is tried and true....though, some like phrases and paly the odds to get more of what they want. All I know is I have seen women that remind me of guys who guys are happily married to, and others that guys will say are not perfect due to a brow or a odd voice...I think they are alright, and as far as we all know they where born women and even have birthed children! So...well, you know....it is all sort of confusing. You can always ask, just video chat. If you think there is something odd....well, ask! Maybe even show them some pics of how it is easy to fool, if they feel insulted. Show them that the indicators don't always work, liek brows on models and then show the chat and comments guys make on the models! One guy has a whole site on femanine looks, and to be honest the women might have a few slight triats...but they are not really guy looking. Just different level of fem....oddly, there are crossdressers that might have even become that way due to hormone differences that also give them a tricky to tell androgenous bone structure! Size of bone structure an such is also not totally all sort of a flat basic accross all humans, so one does not always say 50% size of adams apple protrusion ='s 50% more man hormones...it is not as simple as that. Heck, some people are essentially BOTH female and male! I mean, they have like 4 chromosones instead of 2!!!! Arggh, mind boggling...but, rare.

So, trust is coupled with odds. Maybe photo's of childhood might help? Even make an excuse to see birth certs...or parts of them. "Ok, lets see....so, you are right...you where born in that country! Ok...lets see the name! OK, you are a male......wait...you said you where a women!" stuff like that. Obviously, this gives them a way to show you and not actually say it...some might hate verbalizing it and might figure you look and might not say anything because you don't care OR they can say you already knew when you might hve actually skimmed over it and not seen the sex part! Either way, it releived the tension and you dont' go showing all your personal docs to a person you have known for like 5 minutes!

Once again, I will caveat empor....I have no friends, don't trust much and basically figure only close genital inspection would work to tell. Plus, that super model this one dude keeps saying looks like a dude a little....I will accept her, if she is all lonely and realy desperate...oops, she is married and has a few kids lol. Yeah, supermodels can be odd looking mixes to grab attention and such, but some are not that odd and are rather pretty to me...They look like women to many many others. But, taht one guy......he is not having any of it! To each thier own? So, be sure to vid chat BUT....trust is still required because even machines have tolerances and are not all truly identical!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What you need to do is wear a really low cut cleavage baring dress. Teleport to him and chat for five minutes and then teleport away. Ask him if he liked the new eyes you bought (in a PM). If he mentions the correct eye color, he's a woman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know! Oh my gyod, all those women who get on SL just to play as men to release their instinctual lusts! All TWO of them!

All this FIBBING on the web!

Hey here is a weird one - what if there was an SL partnership and the guy was really a woman and the woman was really a man? I mean, how would THAT play out if they discovered?

John Avatar, I am sorry, I am really a man in RL"

"That is OK Jane Avatar, I am really a woman in RL"

 

OK on a serious note - I imagine very few RL women play male avatars just to get a G/F in SL. Do women play male avatars? Sometimes, but probably not for sex.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


MoiselleErin Teardrop wrote:

I know! Oh my gyod, all those women who get on SL just to play as men to release their instinctual lusts! All TWO of them!

All this FIBBING on the web!

Hey here is a weird one - what if there was an SL partnership and the guy was really a woman and the woman was really a man? I mean, how would THAT play out if they discovered?

John Avatar, I am sorry, I am really a man in RL"

"That is OK Jane Avatar, I am really a woman in RL"

 

OK on a serious note - I imagine very few RL women play male avatars just to get a G/F in SL. Do women play male avatars? Sometimes, but probably not for sex.

You know, there was a women in some news article did play as a guy. She was trying to fake being a player, got this girl avatar all interested in her guy avatar. She never said anything....of course, until the article was published. ALthough, no names where named. So, now the lonely stood up gal will stumble across this and notice the stories clues....bad, evil, or simply strange?

And all those girls that say he doesn't call back....there you go, he was really a women in a rubber man suite he got from some hollywood prop and FX sale! I bet he even had a few 50% extra fake blood bottles and they threw in some kind of scars to help it look all real! Some of the most rude, evil men women have met....could have been other women in rubber guy suites who stood them up! Think about it, all the real guy has to do is call. It takes like 10 minutes....you know now, from the news article...it was all this one gal and a few like here in RL! Yup, they just love seeing the reaction, and why do you ask?

Well, if a women plays a man and can get some stats on how other women are reacting to the look...well, she will find the most jelousy enducing male to get in RL! This will make all of her freinds, peers and the random women on the street more likely to envy her. Of course, as we know...women might actually only eat food to entertain us and actually feed from teh tears of other females who are jelous of them....and, they might also have rubber man suites to just really raelly dig the spurs in and drive the poor gals into really becoming stressed. This, as we know...causes thier butts to look HUGE in every thing they wear....and also makes them get lines. The compounding effect makes the evil women more powerful. These women rule the world, hence the birth cert controversy...some guy must have noticed something funny about the supposed man they saw like way way back in jim class....this was most likely what started a hunt and now even the president is suspect....he could be a super evil women in a man suite the guy thought! But, alas...the end goal would not have been to stay in the suite and marry a women...it is to destroy women to feed of thier pain and lonelyness....so, we can see this is a tricky area to talk about. Right now, a women might drive by and poisen my toothpaste or some other thing. She might even marry me and kill me over 20-30 years in order to gain recognition within the evil coven hurd of the most evil super evil women. But, alas...I brave onward to telleth you of these things....so, well...you can sleep easy at night because you know the truth. Now, just laugh when you never get a call from a guy and simply keep on going with no worries. The lack of pain, tears and misery will starve this evil women and all she gets is a dry cleaning bill from her persuite of your tears!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


ChristineAngelHart wrote:

I sometime have a problm knowing if the man I'm talking too, is really a man,once it turn out to be another woman. I'm a woman and I only go out with men, here in SL and in the real world. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how at least in SL,how I can make sure if I'm talking to a real man?                 ChristineAngelHart

There are quite a few men on my SL friends list, that are public known personalities.   By, public, I mean outside of SL, they are known in the RL gaming/business world, or known in the RL science world.   These are people who are not playing as anonymous characters in SL, but either are employed by the Lab or are in SL with their RL professional credentials.   Or are in SL with their RL non-profit business/economic organizations, and are open about who they are in RL.

Also, there are men in SL that I have exchanged RL information with, and we are FaceBook friends, Google+ friends,  and can see each others families, each others RL friends, etc.  (places where we use our RL names...not SL avatar names)

You'll find a lot of people in SL that share RL professional connections amongst the teaching, university, and business groups.  Many people involved with the SLCC (Second Life Community Convention) readily, share their RL and professional information.  

So, if you're wanting to find people (not just men) in SL that are comfortable with having their RL and SL mingle, the science and educational areas are good places to look.  Try joining some inworld groups that lean towards those areas.

Also, despite the people that have said voices can be disguised...it is not that easy to fake a voice for the opposite sex.   Even with the technology that is available.   So, I do recommend using voice if you're concerned about the biological sex of the person.   If you find behavior that is suspicious or odd...or someone that makes you uncomfortable, then move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Bree Giffen wrote:

What you need to do is wear a really low cut cleavage baring dress. Teleport to him and chat for five minutes and then teleport away. Ask him if he liked the new eyes you bought (in a PM). If he mentions the correct eye color, he's a woman.

rofl darn i thought i coud try u guys lol jk ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

geez!----this is sl, sooooo just relax, hang loose, have fun and enjoy.  As someone said earlier---does it really matter?   When a connection is made, the chemistry and fireworks can be magical.:matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a SL boyfriend, we were so much in love! We decided to meet in RL and much to my shock, he is not a knee high, top hat wearing, cigar smoking purple skunk with a penchant for getting around town on a unicycle! The lying S.O.B.!!  Most people are truer to their RL selves in SL than they are in RL, one reason so many are far meaner to people in SL than RL, they can get away with it easier.

 So when I meet someone playing the opposite gender, I do not judge, I think WOW, maybe this is someone who wishes he or she could be of the opposite gender in RL and for whatever reason, that's not possible, how cool that SL affords them an opportunity to relate as how they wish they were. I've met far more RL men playing women than vice versa.

The few male avatars I've met who are women in RL are not lust crazed Lesbians (well, with one exception), they have a male identity for business reasons. That's a sad commentary, that they feel they're taken more seriously because of pixelated dangly bits.

 I change my shape, skin, and eyes a few times a week in SL. When I'm not in my urban feral Neko woman mode, I'm often a sexy frat boy, so I can attend events for male avatars only. Hence, my display name, Luc. What I've found is that it freaks some guys out, to KNOW I'm a woman - or to think they know I'm a woman, or that I claim to be a woman in RL, dressed in a male shape, skin, clothes, and hair. Which says to me, SL is about illusion and enjoying that.

Getting behind the illusion is sure to disappoint. As for knowing for sure, there is no way to tell, husbands and wives play SL, with shared IPs, someone could have a male friend voice or cam for her. As far as I'm concerned, women in SL I treat as women, men as men, and my pet peeve is merfolk who float along outside of the water, swimming in the air, instead of in a tank of water ; )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess all you can do to verify someone's gender is ask them to get on voice, or even video skype. If they're not comfortable with that, then you have to decide whether or not you're okay with it, or to just move on.

I have a couple of male alts that I just use to dress up like a pixel ken doll or try on tatoos I've made. I've never used them to interact with anyone though, and one I gave to a (male) friend.

The only time I really experienced SL life as "male" was when my two RL friends asked me to help them with their avatars. They were new to SL, so they gave me their passwords (NEVER...EVER...do this....bad idea!) So I got them some decent skins and hair (pfft they bitched they weren't good looking enough, lazy little turds). I admit it was a little fun to go around and mess with people lol. I made their avies really fat then tried to hit on women, and then acuse them of being shallow when I got rejected LOL I know, I know, it was childish and wrong lol.

Needless to say, my RL husband also plays SL, and he will never, EVER give me his password LOL Smart man! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can tell by the sort of language they use, females use a different vocabulary set to men, females in general are also more likely to spell out an entire word, for instance "you're" vs "ur".   Although, that being said, using linguistic patterns only work when both you and the other person are using the same native first language, and a man can learn to emulate a female style of chatting and vice versa, so it is not fool proof. 

The figures are not that staggering though, about 48% of people online emulate their RL selves, whereas 52% go for an opposite representation of themselves, and as stated by others, males are more likely to fall in the 52% category

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello...  a real man is going to be watching Bastketball, not dancing. Sooooooooooooo if there is a truly a real guy (like me) he won't be spending to much time on SL.. Have a great day and get ready for March Madness..

 

TA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...