Jump to content

"Friend" behaving badly


You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 3318 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

I have a problem with a person who has behaved in a very strange and unfeeling manner towards me

I obviously should stay away from her but I feel like I should confront her about it.  Should I do that or just ignore her? We have mutual friends so I believe if i did that people would wonder at the reason of it. And could lead to serious drama.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First off you already told you can't speak seriously with her, so why do you take it so serious then?

Maybe she didn't like the fact you spammed her with a landmark unasked.

Others never can hurt you by words alone, it is just you feeling that way! So try to figure out why you felt hurt and work on that.

So what mutual 'friends'! Hang out with who ever YOU want. Dump anyone you don't like yourself. Just live.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Sophia Trefusis wrote:

I have a problem with a person who has behaved in a very strange and unfeeling manner towards me.

We have always had this bantering going on,because thats her way of being. You simply cant speak seriously with her and sometimes shes a little bit too blunt.

Then she IM-ed me while we were at the same gathering,complimenting my hair. I thanked her and gave her the LM for the store. It was pretty laggy so I then I made a joking remark about how "SL must hate me"

And she wrote "everything hates you" and went on to count up all the things that hated me.

I was speechless and  even told her i was hurt by her comments.Behind our avatars there is after all real persons with feelings.

 Still she wrote two more sentences of the same thing.

I obviously should stay away from her but I feel like I should confront her about it.  Should I do that or just ignore her? We have mutual friends so I believe if i did that people would wonder at the reason of it. And could lead to serious drama.

 

Your friend might not realise how insensitive she's being, or she might just think you have the same sense of humour as she does.  Often people who are unhappy inside use humour as a mask too, and I would even hazard a guess she is an unhappy person underneath.

Anyway, it sounds like you both have many friends, and therefore, I would advise you to listen to your inner voice, which I believe is telling you to not confront her, just mute/block her.

There is absolutely no need for drama. Why should any of your mutual friends even realise that you and this tactless other friend have had any kind of disagreement?  In the unlikely event the tactless one says "I don't think Sophia is talking to me" and they relay this information to you, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone at all, just give a neutral non-commital response like, "really?" and leave it at that.

In real life it might have been more pertinent to confront this friend, where you can relay body language and facial expressions, but then your tactless friend would (or should) have already have been able to sense your tone, and not continued to hurt you further with the extra remarks.

Again, mute/block, and put her out of your mind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, a joke is a joke but there comes a time when it gets annoying, boring and/or stupid.

Like if people complain about their problems, fine, but if that is all they do ... well sorry boooring.

If that´s the way your friend is, might be the best to put more space between you too and stay with the occasional "Hi how are you,  talk later" ...

I´m not a friend of mute ban remove people in a mood or whatever. A bit of healthy ignorance does same ;)

Monti

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She is not one of my closest friend in SL. But she always IM me when I am on....and the polite thing is to answer. I wish she would complain of things,but instead I get someone who is impossible to talk to unless I participate in her way.

I have muted exactly one person in SL. But I know people who are very fast on the mute button ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sophia,

   If you don't want to mute her but she always talks to you, the thing that may make the most sense is to go to your contacts and make it so she can't see when you are on. That way you can decide if you want to let her see you or not. If you aren't in the same location as her this would work without any problems. If she IMs you and you don't want to talk to her just tell her your busy and you can talk later. I don't like that kind of confrontation either so I can understand where you are coming from. As for laughing at yourself, yeah, some people need that advice because everything seems to trigger them, but it doesn't' sound like you are hung up on what people say in general, it's just her being a jerk to you. Try to keep your distance, if she keeps it up confront her on it, but it doesn't sound like she listens. Some people just live to create drama, sometimes the only thing to do is not let yourself get snared into it. *hugs*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

when people get under my skin..i just stop answering till they get the hint..

i'll keep it friendly in general chat if we are around friends..

but the IM's are over..atleast until they can  know there is a place and time for things..

sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all..

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Ceka Cianci wrote:

when people get under my skin..i just stop answering till they get the hint..

i'll keep it friendly in general chat if we are around friends..

but the IM's are over..atleast until they can  know there is a place and time for things..

sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all..

 

This, I feel, is the wisest answer of all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Six Igaly wrote:

Maybe she didn't like the fact you spammed her with a landmark unasked.


They're supposed to be friends. :)

Friends are where you put people you want to be friendly with. Which includes sharing things you're up to and getting together for more stuff.

If someone is in my friends list or I in theirs - sharing things is -assumed-.

If not, get out of the list.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sophia, if things happen to you like this, and you are hurt and confused how to react - why do you ask questions on a public forum like this? Of course some trolls will answer you first, jumping on your head, humiliate you more, to imply that it's your own fault, and the rude one is the one who behaves rightly. Forums.... but what did you expect?

I would advise you to reveal your thoughts to real friends - not like the one in your post :P - but whom you really trust and like. It mustn't be me, of course (heehee, though I like you and appreciate you very very much) but making a confession to a friend is not the same as "making drama". At least I hope so - since.... what are friends for, anyway?

One thing is for sure not true, not "everything hates you", and I would bet, this insult was only a reflection of the other lady's own subconscious opinion of herself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Sophia Trefusis wrote:

 

I have discussed this with my real inworld friends. *shrugs* I guess I shouldnt have posted anything at all.

Well I guess I am dumb for not thinking of the trolls.

 

You're neither dumb nor wrong to have started this thread.  I've certainly been interested to read the different opinions and reactions from people. I wish I was a little more level-headed, like Ceka, who always thinks outside the box, and Pussycat too, advises to give the friend one more chance to redeem herself.

Sometimes we all need a little bit of counselling, some outside points of view, so that we might be able to gauge if we're overreacting. 

That's what forums are all about anyway, sharing views, opinions, ideas, even if we might not always like what someone else has to say.

Chin-up, girl :catvery-happy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sophia, trolls on these forums (or any other for that matter) are as common and cheap as store-brand toilet paper. Just ignore them.

If your friend hurt your feelings, then confront her. Maybe she didn't mean to. If she's really your friend, she'll be sensitive to your feelings. If she's not, then it's time to cut that one loose. Life is too short to waste on people who don't care about you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 7 months later...
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 3318 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...