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Sofiee Aiten

Why can't I make friends?

23 posts in this topic

I have been on second life for almost a year and I have NO friends. I'm starting to think that I'm boring or not likeable. I'm really sad because I spend time on second life shopping alone and visiting places and I have no friends to talk to and visit placess with, etc. I'm always nice to people but I guess I don't have much to talk about. I'm also 18 irl so maybe that's a factor. If anyone could give me advice here or inworld that would be great. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I'm sofiee aiten in world. 

 

sorry. Besides shopping i like to visit new sims. I like all music except for country. I am a new KittyCatS addict and I have a few cats right now so I visit lots of breedable sims also. I still don't know what all there is to do on second life ( sad huh?) =P

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Hi Sofiee.. I love shopping alone... never really certian when I'm dressed.. Yikes.. But express your interests, please.. EHere do you go dancing, what type of musis.. and you can friend me also.. (when I get my lappytop fixed) /kicks HD...  ohhh right sorry (mubbling) But what do you like to do while not shopping?

 

 

 

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Sofiee Aiten wrote:

I have been on second life for almost a year and I have NO friends. I'm starting to think that I'm boring or not likeable. I'm really sad because I spend time on second life shopping alone and visiting places and I have no friends to talk to and visit placess with, etc. I'm always nice to people but I guess I don't have much to talk about. I'm also 18 irl so maybe that's a factor. If anyone could give me advice here or inworld that would be great. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I'm sofiee aiten in world. 

Hi Sofiee, I noticed that you said that you "spend time on second life shopping alone and visiting places".  Both of those activities are fun, but to meet people you need to interact with other people.  There must be a reason for you and the other people to talk to each other. 

Just like in real life, if we just went shopping and exploring, we would not have as much human interaction.   So, what I recommend is doing activities in SL that require you to interact with other second life residents for longer periods of time.  Some excellent ways to meet people, and also become a more well-rounded SL resident, is to take some building and creating classes.  Not only will you learn to create, but you'll meet other people who have this same interest. 

Or, join some role-play sims, and do some roleplay, if there are some that you find appealing.  Basically, you need to find some activity that you can do, that others are doing too, and which will allow you to interact with other SL residents for longer than just the most casual of conversations.

Join some inworld groups that plan and have activities.  Also, there are SL communities that are well known for having frequent activities for their residents, and this is a good way to meet people.  

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Hello Sofiee!

First I wanted to tell you is, since you're really young, to forget SL and go out find some real people. But I guess you have your own reasons to play lol

I would advise you to try something. Next time when you login, go shopping alone, like you usually do. You will buy all you need to create one new character. That character will be whatever you wanted to be when you were 5 years old. Anything!

Think about it good, and make that character real. Except the look, you will also need an attitude of that character, so in the next few days try to do that simple rp.

If you get stuck, open a world map, tp to the first place you see that has many green dots, and go ask someone there. If it fails, it will be a fail of that character, not yours.

When you create that character, find some adventures, some funny things to do. (well ok if you wanted to be a doctor then find a hospital lol but you get my point) Non-friendly search will be your best source and best friend.

Make a scenario in your head and just play it. Think of it as your personal movie. Every time you login, you will have a new part of that movie. And just make it enjoyable for yourself! When you enjoy it, you will express it through your character. And that will attract people that enjoy same things.

Let us know how its going:) and have fun!

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I would also advise you not to get too hung up on the whole "friends" thing. :)  IMO, "friending" is way overrated; there are a whole bunch of people in SL whom I interact with all the time -- people who show up nearly every Monday night when I DJ at Bubblegum Music Factory, people who live on the parcels right next to mine, people whom I've roleplayed with numerous times at certain sims... but none of whom are specifically on my "friends" list.

I've been in-world for close to four years now, and my actual friends list has maybe a dozen people on it at most.  

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Hi Sofiee and you are not the first one to post something like this here. It seems like lately it has become more difficult to meet people with common interest in SL which may be in large part due to the fact that many people here are settled into their circles of friends or really don't have as much time to hang out.

However, one thing I have learned in the many years I have been here is that of the friends you have today, many will not be in SL over time.  Many on my friends list haven't logged on for years and others seem to have gone off in a different direction.

Why don't you hit me up in world and you can join a group of my friends that go out dancing every Friday night.  They are a pretty wild group with little inhibitions but all great people who range from new to very old in game and of all age groups.  I am sure you will make many new friends.  I need to do a little shopping beforehand as well and maybe you can share with me some of the shopping spots you found.

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Look me up I will go shopping with you! :) I love the whole SL shopping experience! :matte-motes-big-grin:

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Sofiee Aiten wrote:

I have been on second life for almost a year and I have NO friends. 

So sad. A few suggestions. First, there may be a mistake in your profile regarding this sentence: So if you love breed able, IM me. A slight revision would probably result in you being much more popular. So if you love breeding, IM me.

On a more serious note, what you need is a plan to tackle this head-on. A twelve days of Christmas plan. There are now 12 days until that special holiday celebrating peace on earth and goodwill, when a star shown brightly over a hick town in a far flung province of the Roman empire. 

Each day until xmas, go to a popular infohub and stay there until you have added at least one friend or alternatively until at least one person has declined your friend request. They all won't turn out to be good friends, but one or two probably will. As Stalin noted, quantity has a quality all its own.

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Don't know if it will appeal to you but have you looked into Second Life schools as somewhere to go, meet peeople and form friendships?  Victoria is as much a community as a school so may suit..  The URL below (for our newsletter) will give you more info about us.  Feel free to visit any time - you can TP from my picks and get a visitors tag at the main gate.  The holday 'slow down' has already started - many going away and last classes this Fri - so quiet but if you need someone to show you around contact me in world. :-

Bethany Bownford

Deputy Head, Victoria Academy

 

http://victoria-academy.com/downloads/vawinter2011newsletter.pdf

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thanks everyone! I'll try all of those. I appreciate all of the advice and @ breeding LOL! Ididn't even notice that sounded weird

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When you do solitary activities, you don't exactly meet a lot of people. Instead, try visiting a club that plays the kind of music you like, or heading to a safehub somewhere. Alternatively, try a beach (I almost always get a bit of conversation and at least two friend requests just standing around a beach - not a nude one, either! lol); or try the destination guide and look for populated sims. Many are empty, but the destination guide does have some high(er) traffic sims to visit.

You can also join groups centered around your favorite things. Some groups are chattier than others, but if you join a few, you're bound to find one or two where people often chat. Or you can start a group chat yourself, just to say hi, ask a question, etc. Also, you can browse the group's members and look at profiles, and message a couple people you think might be interesting to talk to.

 

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I dunno. I didn't see any big red flags in your profile.

Most such flags are the usual 'don't mess with me or my family will give you an epic wedgy' sort, only less politely worded.

Yours looks pleasant.

The '18-year old' thing would make me think every perv, er, guy in SL would want to be your friend, since that seems to work for all those people spamming my ancient yahoo account... (then again they have names like cindy and candy and mindy and wendy)...

 

You admit to being half-black in RL, and not just "playing at blaxploitation ghetto" (and your look is not blaxploitation either, thank goodness. :) ) - and given this blog:

http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2006/02/the_skin_youre_.html

sadly... I -PRAY- that that has not been a problem for you...

BUT, I've certainly had people go to town over my RL race in third party SL-forums, and once here earlier this month... (I'm mixed Asian / Native American, but the Native American is both north American and Peruvian Amazon - in RL I take heat for the Asian and the Native North American, but in SL-forums its always been anti-Amazonia hate).

But I've also found MANY MORE people who don't have issues with such things.

 

One thing that might help is to change up your wording of your interests. For any of them that are multiple words, put them in as single words as well.

Oh and get some Picks. Just pop a few places of personal interest in there.

 

You're welcome to contact me too. :) NOne of my friends like SL shopping except for the builders, and they just shop for sculpty maps and textures while I fall asleep next to them after getting a few things. ;)

(Ok I like builder shopping too, but its not the -ONLY- kind of shopping I like. :D )

 

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Join Facebook instead. There are millions of people on there desperate to be your friend, and they don't have any standards.

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Sofiee Aiten wrote:

I have been on second life for almost a year and I have NO friends. I'm starting to think that I'm boring or not likeable. I'm really sad because I spend time on second life shopping alone and visiting places and I have no friends to talk to and visit placess with, etc. I'm always nice to people but I guess I don't have much to talk about. I'm also 18 irl so maybe that's a factor. If anyone could give me advice here or inworld that would be great. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I'm sofiee aiten in world. 

 

sorry. Besides shopping i like to visit new sims. I like all music except for country. I am a new KittyCatS addict and I have a few cats right now so I visit lots of breedable sims also. I still don't know what all there is to do on second life ( sad huh?) =P

Hi Sofiee!  Look for places that have a lot of people.  Look on you world map, and tp there.  Also of you would like to friend me, go ahead.  We can chat!

 

Peace!

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Hi Sofiee...somethign that worked for me is i started spending time at some of the Infohubs...they are great places to meet new people. They do have their usual little groups, but most are friendly if you just say Hi and start talking to people. I have also only been on SL for about a year, and have met several people at infohubs that becaume REALLY good friends. Try Isabel...it is friendlier than most, and I am usually there 3-4 days a week. Look me up if you go there :)

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Hey there,

I would suggest you go to welcome areas or sandboxes to meet some interesting folks and perhaps learn a little about building and scripting. When I started SL I would up in Cordova and basically just went from sandbox to sandbox ever since. I met 3 of the best people in the world in sandboxes. You could also. Now, you do have to watch out for griefers at times but usually that doesn't last if you don't feed into the BS they bring. I believe that's why they made the block and mute button! Other then that, I think you'll really like them.

By the way, I see you're into photography and that's awesome. You should message me in world sometime and we can hang out. I love both SL & RL photography and I'm a graphic artist. We could definitely learn from each other.

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Flashdancers is a wonderful group that I have no personal interest in other than having fun.

Very friendly people and live music are the performances they attend. Search them if you are interested.

More hip music such as techno/house and the like is the realm of credible DJ's. Clubs like Demonic are cool but watch out for vampires ;-o

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Hi Sofiee!

 

R u trying to make friends? Are u taking to pp? You've been on a long time. Anyway, I would be happy to friend you. I enjoy the dance clubs, exploring, rp, chat rooms. Im a bit of a trash talker but only w/those that like to have a good laugh too. I'm older though, 31 in RL to be exact. I'm sure we can find some things in common as I have a wide variety of interests. I'm also a writer in RL so I have a great imagination for rp.

 

Tip: I've made several friends just by starting up conversations and I maintain those friendships by always saying hi to them when there on our sending tp requests when I'm doing something fun that I know they'll like. Hit me up in SL. I'm on at different times. But I'm on SL time if that helps.

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Sofiee Aiten wrote:

I have been on second life for almost a year and I have NO friends. I'm starting to think that I'm boring or not likeable. I'm really sad because I spend time on second life shopping alone and visiting places and I have no friends to talk to and visit placess with, etc. I'm always nice to people but I guess I don't have much to talk about. I'm also 18 irl so maybe that's a factor. If anyone could give me advice here or inworld that would be great. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I'm sofiee aiten in world. 

 

sorry. Besides shopping i like to visit new sims. I like all music except for country. I am a new KittyCatS addict and I have a few cats right now so I visit lots of breedable sims also. I still don't know what all there is to do on second life ( sad huh?) =P

Aw. Hi, Sofiee!

Well, it isn't easy to make 'real' friends - in real life or in Second Life! Mostly it's just people to meet up with once in a while and maybe have a little fun with.

Maybe put something in your profile (if you have sorry, I haven't checked it) about what sorts of friends you would like to meet. Put your interests in the interest page. Do not put any real world information. I personally would not even include your real age. 18 will get you hit on by a lot of creepy older guys - and not all will look the part in their avatar. Some might have a young female avatar! And then wheedle some real info out of you...(I couldn't help warning you!)

Meeroos are very popular right now. You could join some of those clubs if you want, or just go to some kittycats functions I guess (I don't know much about those pets but, I have heard good things.) But if you want something to do I have meeroo petting zoos in my profile. You're welcome to stop by and hang out with them and pet some, and maybe you will meet some friends there. I see people stopping in and out of there all the time!

Some active in world groups are NCI and Forum Cartel. FabFree is another chatty in world group. New Citizens Inc. is mostly about learning to do things in SL. Forum Cartel has all sorts of members, new and old SL residents. FabFree is centered around shopping, mostly for things under 60 Lindens. Sometimes they talk about other stuff, too. (FabFree has lots of group rules, and they are strict about them, so read those if you join it.)

But mostly don't feel bad. Time zones, people leaving SL for months or permanently, or getting caught up in a new hobby in SL all can contribute to not hearing from people for a long time, or people not wanting to make close friendships or relationships. For some it's just a diversion.

Hope your SL improves for you.

 

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