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My previous SL partner did exactly the same thing to me. It hurt me like hell when he said "I love her more than I love you", and I would guess your partner is also feeling that level of hurt.

The world is full of "... the kind of woman who knows how to seduce men and who likes to play with feelings", and they usually leave a trail of destruction in their wake. 

Your wife's screaming and yelling at you were not caused by her, or whether you had any kind of sexual thing going on with this other woman, but because you were insensitive and uncaring in your choice of words.

It has little to do with sex at the end of the day too, it is more a case of loyalty and respect and - dare I say it - honesty.

You cannot take back the hurtful words that you said, but you can show with your future actions that you did not mean to be a pig.  I would imagine that even now your wife loves you very much and will give you another chance.

Whether you deserve one is another matter. (What happened with the neighbour girl anyway?)

 



 

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Jochen Alex wrote:

Ad then i said, "good to know, because i love (the neighbor girl) and we want to be together."

That really pissed my wife off. She thought i was screwing the neighbor girl behind her back, and started to scream and yell at me, and we split up.


If you had just been "screwing the neighbor girl behind her back," as she seems to think you were anyway, you might have had a chance. Telling her that you love someone else? Hmmm, not so much.

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Before reading any further, please realize that this is a one time offer and by no means take this for granted. My consulting rates are not fixed and depending on the complexity of one's frustrations and/or (emotional) problems I usually charge 50k per session, but only – and only – if I can use this person to my advantage.

Before we are going to answer your question, lets look at the facts. For one, there is no such thing as faithful and/or responsibility; being a man gives you the right to do as you please – this includes cheating, lying and fapping or however you wish to call it. Second – and I will try to make this as short as possible – a woman's opinion simply doesn't count, regardless of the situation. If she is giving you stress, put her on a leash and lock her up in the kitchen – it's where she belongs. If a little bit of kitchen therapy here and there doesn't help, use a firm hand, followed by a gag.

Whatever you do, make sure she realizes where her place is, which is, of course, below you.

Now, to analyze the problem, we must look at source. How it appears to me is that there is a simple misunderstanding between all parties involved. This could happen to the best of us, but is important to learn from our previous mistakes to prevent getting hurt in the (near) future. Women tend to get emotionally attached, especially during certain periods of the month. Thus, they have silly expectations, which is, in my humble opinion, arrogant. Those egocentric creatures we consider our wifes need to be taught a lesson whenever she walks out of line. I am not sure how to put it, but the easiest way to describe what I mean, what I find ideally, what kind of relationship a man should strive for with his women, (the more the better) is kinda like the relationship one has with a dog. She is to please and to do as she is told. If she fails to these simple terms, punish appropriately, preferably with a steel rod.

I wish you the best of luck with your relationship(s) and remember: do as you please. Oh, and on a side note, if any of these women you spoke about happen to be Spanish, brunette and somewhere between 20 and 30, feel free to send them my way for some (free!) private sessions.  

 

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Ummm...Gotta say I'm siding with your wife here. Just because you didn't actually have penetrative sex with "the neighbor girl" while you were with your wife doesn't mean you didn't cheat on her. Cheating is more than having penetrative sex with someone. You cheated emotionally by allegedly "falling in love" with this other woman, even if you didn't mean what you said about loving her more than your wife. (In fact, it sounds like you meant it at the time, but then regretted your decision.) And "fondling" is still cheating, as well. So you did, in fact, cheat on your wife, then turned around and threw it in her face because you were mad. THEN you acted on your supposed feelings for this neighbor girl by having penetrative sex with her once you and your wife were fighting; and THEN you added insult to injury by blaming not yourself, but the neighbor girl for essentially seducing you by being "the kind of woman" who does that to men.

First, own up to your own actions. YOU had an emotional affair with another woman while you were married. She didn't force you into anything; she may have contributed (after all, it takes two to tango), but you allowed yourself to fall into it. YOU threw that affair in your wife's face because you were angry. Admit that what you did was wrong, and tell your wife that. Apologize. Don't make excuses. "But we never actually had sex!" doesn't go very far in this sort of situation. Try to prove to your wife that you really care about her most. Stop seeing this neighbor girl. (Of course if you own the estate, and she lives on it, you'll come in contact from time to time. You can't just stop helping her, but you can stop going out of your way to do so. Treat her like any other renter.) Don't "flirt," "fondle," or have sex with anyone else. Message your wife letting her know you still care.

 

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I don't get what the problem is. You cheated and your sl wife didn't like it and left you. You should not have had any other girlfriends. If you wanted friends, hang out with other guys and go build or something. Good luck finding a wife that wants a guy who fools around with other women.

You can do anything you want but don't expect other people to go along with it. You broke rules wife had so live with it. You are not what she wants in a man. Life is about choices and consequences of those choices. You never had to talk to the neighbor or answer her IM's. Those were all choices you made.

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Herpes Melodie wrote:

Before reading any further, please realize that this is a one time offer and by no means take this for granted. My consulting rates are not fixed and depending on the complexity of one's frustrations and/or (emotional) problems I usually charge 50k per session, but only – and only – if I can use this person to my advantage.

Before we are going to answer your question, lets look at the facts. For one, there is no such thing as faithful and/or responsibility; being a man gives you the right to do as you please – this includes cheating, lying and fapping or however you wish to call it. Second – and I will try to make this as short as possible – a woman's opinion simply doesn't count, regardless of the situation. If she is giving you stress, put her on a leash and lock her up in the kitchen – it's where she belongs. If a little bit of kitchen therapy here and there doesn't help, use a firm hand, followed by a gag.

Whatever you do, make sure she realizes where her place is, which is, of course, below you.

Now, to analyze the problem, we must look at source. How it appears to me is that there is a simple misunderstanding between all parties involved. This could happen to the best of us, but is important to learn from our previous mistakes to prevent getting hurt in the (near) future. Women tend to get emotionally attached, especially during certain periods of the month. Thus, they have silly expectations, which is, in my humble opinion, arrogant. Those egocentric creatures we consider our wifes need to be taught a lesson whenever she walks out of line. I am not sure how to put it, but the easiest way to describe what I mean, what I find ideally, what kind of relationship a man should strive for with his women, (the more the better) is kinda like the relationship one has with a dog. She is to please and to do as she is told. If she fails to these simple terms, punish appropriately, preferably with a steel rod.

I wish you the best of luck with your relationship(s) and remember: do as you please. Oh, and on a side note, if any of these women you spoke about happen to be Spanish, brunette and somewhere between 20 and 30, feel free to send them my way for some (free!) private sessions. 
 

 

I try not to get this^^ irrational.   Spanish women are hot untill at least 37.  :matte-motes-bored:  

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Jochen Alex wrote:

i have been married in SL since 2 years, and my wife was ok with me having a gf on an alt.

But i was flirting and "fondling around" with a neighbor girl behind her back. She was the kind of woman who knows how to seduce men and who likes to play with feelings.

 

You said it. You did something BEHIND her back.  That's cheating.  You were secretive and hurtful and unfortunately now you must live with the consequences of your actions.  Perhaps instead of seeing how you should get your wife back you should be figuring out how to apologize to a friend that trusted you and work on repairing the friendship if she means that much to you.  But you have proved that you can not be a faithful partner and blaming the neighbor girl for "seducing" you is a cowardly way to take all blame off yourself.  You have made your bed and now you must sleep in it, alone.

 

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Ariel,

What kind of nonsense is this? You make it sound as if he is the one to blame, which is wrong, obviously; this man is victimized by his dominating woman.

If his wife truly loved him, she would admit that she is wrong and that is trying to manipulate him with silly mind games. And with success! The poor fella is obviously bothered by all this, otherwise he wouldn't throw all his marriage problems here on the forums.

 

OceanBird, 

You do realize that the girl next door is responsible for all this? If she wasn't flirting with this innocent man, somebody with nothing but good, honest and genuine intentions, there wouldn't be any problem whatsoever. Also, there is a possibility that this is a conspiracy, against him. Both his wife and the naughty neighboring girl are plotting against him, to make him feel bad. I am not sure, though. During my career as virtual marriage consultant I have never seen such an amusing affair. It's just not fair to him. Please, show some sympathy.

 

Storm, 

By the time she hits 37, I will find replacement. And yeah, lust filled is one way to put it. I agree with Storm – nicely put. She either needs to deal with it, or be gone.

Seriously, do you know what makes this story even more sad? There are prim babies involved. Before you know it you can pay child support for your virtual children. And I am not even talking about the effect it has and how it will ruin their lives.

Don't let it come that far, Jochen! Safe your marriage! Think about your children! Make an alt for the girl next door and buy the other girl (the mother of your prim babies) some freebie flowers from the marketplace. She won't even realize they were free. 

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My apologies, Pac, for not having you included in my previous post. I think you posted while I was writing, and therefore I dedicate this entire post to you.

I do not agree with you, at all. There are a variety of reasons why I do not agree with you, but I will limit myself to those that I find the most important.

 

  1. His wife, she whom gave birth to his prim babies, had no problems with him seeing another woman on his alt. What does this tell us, hm? Try to see it from his perspective. He is told he can have a GF on an alt, just like that. He should have as many women as he sees fit, but that's another story. The point is that she basically agreed with him having another woman on an alt. Thus, she should be aware of the possible – note that I said possible – consequences that are attached to such a thing.

  2. The neighbor girl seduced him, obviously. When drama occurs with women involved, women are the ones to blame – simple. And I am not prejudiced, just trying to overlook this situation with a rational mind.

  3. His wife made an assumptions – she assumed he screwed the neighbor girl. Sadly, he didn't, and I can only assume he had more important stuff to do, which is the only logical reason I can think of. My point is that assumptions are made by those who do not know better. If his wife 'suspected' something, she should have confronted him instead of making false assumptions and accusations. 

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Herpes Melodie wrote:

Seriously, do you know what makes this story even more sad? There are prim babies involved.
Before you know it you can pay child support for your virtual children.
And I am not even talking about the effect it has and how it will ruin their lives.


 

If she wins virtual child support she will win other inessentials 'incidentals', as they say in lawyer speak: it will cost you tons and tons of L's.   You are in a sad state my friend.  You have nothing positive to look forward to in your virtual life.  I can only suggest you create an alt.  

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Maybe the neighbor girl was actually the real life husband of his second life wife and the real life husband made a female alt neighbor girl in order to seduce his real life wifes second life husband in order to break them up as he wanted babies in real life and the prim ones his real life wife had with her second life husband fullfilled her needs for babies and so he was mad.

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How can you say that? If he would make an alt and goes undercover with a new, virtual life, he won't see his virtual babies growing up either.And those prim babies didn't ask for all these problems, don't you agree?

The drama-causing woman, the mother of his prim babies, must be taught a lesson, she must realize that there are consequences attached to such silly actions, and this can only be archived by complete obedience from her side; in owning a woman, one must seize the initiative, one must force through an attack that is overwhelming and shattering; she must be crushed, devastated.  

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Herpes Melodie wrote:

My apologies, Pac, for not having you included in my previous post. I think you posted while I was writing, and therefore I dedicate this entire post to you.

I do not agree with you, at all. There are a variety of reasons why I do not agree with you, but I will limit myself to those that I find the most important.

 
  1. His wife, she whom gave birth to his prim babies, had no problems with him seeing another woman on his alt. What does this tell us, hm? Try to see it from his perspective. He is told he can have a GF on an alt, just like that. He should have as many women as he sees fit, but that's another story. The point is that she basically agreed with him having another woman on an alt. Thus, she should be aware of the possible – note that I said possible – consequences that are attached to such a thing.
  2. The neighbor girl seduced him, obviously. When drama occurs with women involved, women are the ones to blame – simple. And I am not prejudiced, just trying to overlook this situation with a rational mind.
  3. His wife made an assumptions – she assumed he screwed the neighbor girl. Sadly, he didn't, and I can only assume he had more important stuff to do, which is the only logical reason I can think of. My point is that assumptions are made by those who do not know better. If his wife 'suspected' something, she should have confronted him instead of making false assumptions and accusations. 

Ok, so here is the point of clarification that is needed:  was her "fondling" the neighbor as his husband avi or his "alt" avi?  Though, at this point Herpes, I realize you may just out wit me again with your clever rhetoric, but it is a chance I am willing to take in order to get the full facts of this story.

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I am not sure. All I can make up from it is that he is being intimidated by his wifey. And the only reason why I am participating in this discussion with my thoughtful and informative advice, is because there are prim babies involved.

However, now that I think about it, perhaps he is the one to blame! After all, she caused drama and made a huge scene because he allowed it! From what I have seen, most women don't know better and will make drama nonetheless. It's natural to them and thus they cannot be blamed. He however, should have taken his responsibility by keeping his wifey in tone.

In addition to these insightful comments, I would like to point out that a relationship is only as complex as you let it become. Assuming they have reached an age that qualifies as mature, I don't see what the fuzz is all about.


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Herpes Melodie wrote:

In addition to these insightful comments, I would like to point out that a relationship is only as complex as you let it become. Assuming they have reached an age that qualifies as mature, I don't see what the fuzz is all about.

 

Holy crap, I agree with you! :matte-motes-agape:

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