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UncommonTruth

But what if you don't want friends?

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Right then I mean. Sometimes you're busy and the IMs can be a bit much. Is there some way to appear offline without having to go through each person on your list and change it? I've kind of wondered this for awhile, but I don't see any options like that.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place ^^ Its sorta about friends :smileytongue:

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The only way to not be bothered by IMs is to log in on an alt account. Handy if you're wanting to create something, not so handy if most of your stuff is in your regular avatar's inventory.

If you tick the boxes next to friends name to appear offline to them, they're possibly using Phoenix or one of the other viewers (or may even have you on an online tracker if they're eager to see you), so there is no hiding place!!!

My advice would be to catch up with friends another time, and ignore any IMs altogether.  True friends will understand that you've probably logged in for a specific purpose, and you're not just logging in for their benefit, and those who don't understand are too darn needy and perhaps need to get other friends.

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Nope.  There is no way to hide your online status - not even by unchecking boxes.  In fact, in some viewers your friends will be able to tell if you are trying to hide.  You will still show up online in your groups.  You CAN use the away message if you don't want to be bothered.

Cinn

 

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It hasn't really been an issue for me..I can chat.. alot :smileyvery-happy: But I had wondered, and a builder friend of mine brought it up today wondering as well. I figured this would be the place to find out lol.

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UncommonTruth wrote:

It hasn't really been an issue for me..I can chat..
alot :smileyvery-happy:
But I had wondered, and a builder friend of mine brought it up today wondering as well. I figured this would be the place to find out lol.

 

/me LOLs. I can chat a lot too - but mostly I am very antisocial inworld, and do rely on an alt for the times when I just want to explore or test something inworld or SLeepwalk until my RL bedtime :matte-motes-nerdy: :matte-motes-big-grin-wink:



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Marigold is right on here and the best way to have some "alone time" .  In fact, this avatar was created for that very reason so that I would have alone time to build.  Now it's the other way around. 

You can also put up your Do Not Disturb option.

But the key is to not feel like you are obligated to answer any IM's.  It's more a codependency though it seems like a courtesy since it's more your perception than what others really think when you can't get to their "Hello, how are you today" IM's.  My friends have grown to understand that if I don't get back to them, it because I am busy.

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I find that using busy mode is the best way to go for me.  I have customized my busy response to explain that I am AFK or working and can't respond, but invite them to leave a message.  I then don't reply to IM's while in busy mode.  When I'm at a point where I can respond, I do.   I even have something in my profile about this to warn people.  It may take a bit of 'training' but as long as you get back to them it shouldn't be a problem.  My friends understand.  People that don't  and continue to harass me with more IM's demanding attention are easy enough to mute temporarily or permanently if warranted.

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Perhaps LL should make the friends list like Skype, with four settings: busy, away, invisible, or online. 

The friends list though is not really necessary. There is a free HUD that is configurable by note card. You add the names of whomever you may wish to contact later to the note card. Thereafter, when you wear the HUD, it will tell if you the persons listed on the note card are online  and you can send them an IM to see if they are busy.

It obviates the need to send friend requests and the drama associated with removing someone from your friends list or setting their status so they cannot see if you're online.

 

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I'm one of those people who has 100+ friends that never call, except the half-dozen or so that own a club or they're DJ'ing or they're looking for people to slap an MM board, or looking for votes for something, or my two stalkers, or my 3 SL BFFs.  I have a few designer/builder friends that are busy like me, and I'm usually the one reaching out to them.  But we all get it; we'll chat a little in between photoshop or a script or moving prims or whatever.  I think if you're honest with people and you tell them that you're working on something and you'll get back to them later, they're usually ok with that; and if not, maybe they're too needy to be on your friend list.  On the other hand, I know it's hard to boot someone off your list.

 

If I want to turn down the volume on the SL the world, I empty my trash folder and go into busy mode (things sent while you're busy automatically go to your trash).  I set the busy message and just focus on work.  If I want to go totally stealth mode, I use an alt as was suggested, but then I feel like I'm disconnected!  I like to be available in case a customer needs me.

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People have been asking for such a thing for years.  I would like to have the SL equivalent of closing the blinds and not answering the phone or the door.  However, in its absence, what works pretty well  is staying logged on for long periods when  afk, like gone to RL work, etc.  People can never tell if you are afk at a particlar time.

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I suggest you craft a cute busy message, something like "Maddy's pestered me so much that I'm hiding behind this message. If I'm really here and you aren't Maddy, I'll reply in a moment."

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You cant run, and you cant hide.  What I do if I need time to myself (being a building teacher, and friend to many, you would not belive how many IM's I get!) is to go to busy mode.  That keeps me focused on what I am doing at the time!  Hugs to you Uncommon!

 

Peace!

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As anti-social as I often am, I'd love to see the ability to "appear offline" as an option. Obviously, this would also would have to be reflected on the website and the sender of any message or inventory offer would have to receive a message saying the recipient was, or appeared to be, offline and that the message/item would be delivered when they logged on.  

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Some things I learned exspecialy if you are female. Do not accept each friendship just because some words are spooken. After over 3 or 4 years SL I learned that 20% of the people instantly send you a friend request while 70% will do it after a few sentence. The last 10% are those who really seeking friendship and who are shy to ask for friendship when they found the conversation interesting. Those 10% are really interesting friends.

This is what I learned and I´ve seen it in my friendlist. Some day you login and really dont know who is that who wrote you a message. Simply because you got to much friendinvites from people who anyway write you just one or two times in a year. Or those who seeking only virtual sexual contact.

This is why my future target is to be very very passiv in SL and last weekend I deleted 90% of my friendlist. Now I have 6 people in my friendlist I constantly write with. Usualy I would like to delete my whole friendlist and never ever accept new friends as this avatar is anyway my content creator avatar and sometimes it is really sad if you are creative and people write you. But there are already these 6 friends I really like. And most of them are content creators as well so they know the rules.. they know that you probably are in any 3d application when you not answer in SL.. they are not mad. They understand you if you dont want to write as you want to focus on your project. They simply aren´t much differend then me. There main focus in SL is creating content and not to much socializing. Some conversation is really great while being invited to any event or party soon as you login is a differend story.

So all I can tell you is. Dont worry about deleting 90% of your friendlist if they anyway arent importend for you. If they disturp you just delete them. I feel better now. And then seek for people who use SL like you do. I remember a friend I met on a comepletely differend way. This was not just this "would you like to be friend?". It was much more special and he is still my friend today.

Really connecting in SL can be much fun and I am open for clubbing and what ever if it doesn´t happen to much. And exspecialy only with people I really enjoy. I think the biggest error people start to do in SL is just accepting everyone. At least I did so. But I learned this is just annoying after some time.

After I gave me those new rules how to use SL I have the feeling I dont have to hide anymore. So this is my answer. :)

 

 

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