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Eileen Fellstein

Do you ask ages?

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Rather than to go off topic in another thread I recently posted in, I thought it best to start a new one as this is a topic I've been thinking about recently.

Being this is a forum on adult content, I am making the broad assumtion that most people reading this have engaged in or considered engaging in some sort of creative adult roleplay or activities that make use of adult animations and/or body parts in world.

 

So my question is 'Do you ask ages?'

 

I started thinking about this a while back after watching a special report on television about internet predetors. I was talking with a friend at the time and said 'ya know, I don't think a single person on SL has EVER asked my age when they hit on me.' Most often, people tend to be concerned with real life gender and if I am close enough to them geographically for them to drive to with the current amount of fuel that is in their vehicle's gas tank, lol.

It's actually very frightening to me that not one person has been concerned that I might be someone's 12 year old that sat down at the keyboard and decided to have fun watching the cartoon people do the funky monkey. And for the record, I'm 47 and will be just fine if I never ever meet another person from SL in RL.

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Asking for RL details can really piss people off, especially age and location (not only the country of course).

With very close friends there was allways a moment to just tell it even without sharing poseballs for some else than a dance.

Personally i have no problems about telling RL details and i´m allways honest. Thats because i´m to lazy to keep lies up for ages ;)

Last thing, if i told you i am 23 would that make a difference, i could still be 12 or 85 for example, you have no proof only my word. I learned that for most people their word means nothing and women tend to forget some years of age :matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

Only met one person in RL i knew for years in SL. She tricked about her age and status. Funny part, she is about my age in real (why didnt she tell the truth???) and her family status doesn´t really matters because we´r just friends. I might add she´s a damn hottie in real even more than in SL but i forgot my RL poseballs at home - rofl

Monti

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Hello Eileen. I never ask for real informations and i never want someone to ask me. I write it in my profile also. Explanation is so simple. I don't like to mix SL with my real life. Of course some close friends know some details about me but the majority in world and here in the Community also don't know even where i am from. The only i want to know for the person i communicate is that he/she is over 18 years old. If i know it, no difference really if my interlocutor is 25 or 35 or 45 years old or if he is American or European. Maybe some users here disagree with my opinion but this is the way i think and my philosophy.

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Well, if they havn't given some obvious indicator already I may ask something like if they are old enough, but not particulars. I'm actually one of those people that does get PO'd when someone is too nosey, especially if I have never met them before and the 1st thing they ask is the SL equivalent of 'ASL?'

Most people do give some indicator if you're paying attention, but yea, you never really can be sure.But in my experience, just asking that can scare some people off or cause the very convenient coincidental game crash on their end,lol

And I didn't bring it up to bring anyone down. I'm someone who cares a lot about keeping the freedom for adults to live and play as adults in 2nd life. The more we do to ensure that it is actually adults in said activities and locations (without invading the privacy of others) the better off we will be IMHO.

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I don't do intimate RP as much as I used to, but if someone wants to have their avatar get intimate with my avatar, yes, I do first ask them to clearly state that their Player is at least 18, and of legal age where they live to have access to adult material. I also have them come with me to a Mature or Adult-rated sim, if we aren't already in one, where I talk to them a bit first about expectations and preferences and limits, to make sure they realize that I only offer a fictional 'relationship' between their character and mine, and that my character does not in any way represent the real 'me'. I make it clear from the beginning that I am an adult in real life, and married in real life, and that I do not, ever, date people in real life that I meet on-line. All I ever offer to an on-line friend is platonic friendship, and a shared roleplaying experience for mutual entertainment. If we get that far, we discuss what our characters like to do and don't like to do, and if all seems compatible, then and only then do I allow it to get intimate.

While that process may be a buzz killer - rather akin to a girl asking the guy to sign a pre-nuptial contract before going somewhere more romantic after dinner and dancing - it is far preferable to me than the heartbreak that could befall the other party if I were to hook up with someone who thinks of their character as an extension of their real self, and expects a full real-life emotional response from me. It's also preferable to the idea of 'going too far' with a minor. But since I won't engage in intimate activities in a G-rated sim, if they get together even to discuss being intimate with me, they have proven already that their avatar has access to a Mature or Adult sim, and either is over 18, or has already lied to LL about their age.

I choose to spend very little time in G-rated sims, and I never socialize in a G-rated sim in any way that could lead to intimacy. I also never to any RP in text form by IM with anyone that I haven't previously met, face to face in a Mature or Adult sim.

I don't ask for or care to know any more personal details about their Player, beyond them being of legal age. I don't care where they live, beyond knowing what time zone they are in, so I can have a reasonable idea of when they might be available to RP. I don't even want to know their gender or the like. Sure, they could lie about their age. But then, if I later find out that they did lie, I can state honestly that they intentionally deceived me. They will be the one in the wrong, not me.

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I do not really care how old someone is unless there is potential we might become intimate.  Then, yes, I ask but only to know they are an adult.  I assume if they are able to be on M- or A-rated land, they have passed the Age Verification that Linden Lab uses.

Only a very few of my friends know my RL age and that is only because we are good friends over a period of time.

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Unless someone lied or gave false information when they signed up or age verified, then if you are on anything other than a G sim, they are an adult.  What makes you think someone that lied about it during signup and/or age verification is going to tell you the truth if you ask?  They aren't. 

I find getting to know someone generally allows me to judge their age group.  Their maturity will eventually show in how they act and what they know or don't know.  Even the most sophisticated and well informed kid can't keep up the facade forever.

Since I don't engage in random hookups, its really not an issue with me. I do not ever ask for RL information nor do I give mine to people I don't know well enough to have established a level of trust.  I feel its rude and presumptuous to ask absent it being in their profile or the profile says they don't mind.  Besides, there is no way to verify what you are told in a situation like this so the information is pointless.

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I wish there was a guide.  I dont care where on the planet a person is, but i'm not that interested in talking more intimately to people under mid-30s because their frame of reference is different enough to make me the "dad/older" in their mind - consciously or not, and that role gets put on me, whether I like it or not. And i'm sure my outlook/comments convey that role anyway, whether I like it or not.

This all has real people behind it and to supress that fact creates a tentativeness because people are hard wired social beings as they feel each other out for cues. Gestures even had to be added to assist in feeding us this needed information.

I want to have adventures with my peers, and being legally an adult does not make you a peer.  This is my escape time, and thats how i want to spend it.  I'm sorry, but its just more interesting for me talking to a 45 year old with a tail and ears than a 25 year old who looks the same.

Age usually comes out in the writing anyway - people my age don't abbreviate as much, sentence structure, etc.  And as someone implied above, I dont share much intimate information unless there's a level of trust built up.

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geocink wrote:

I wish there was a guide.  I dont care where on the planet a person is, but i'm not that interested in talking more intimately to people under mid-30s because their frame of reference is different enough to make me the "dad/older" in their mind - consciously or not, and that role gets put on me, whether I like it or not. And i'm sure my outlook/comments convey that role anyway, whether I like it or not.

This all has real people behind it and to supress that fact creates a tentativeness because people are hard wired social beings as they feel each other out for cues. Gestures even had to be added to assist in feeding us this needed information.

I want to have adventures with my peers, and being legally an adult does not make you a peer.  This is my escape time, and thats how i want to spend it.  I'm sorry, but its just more interesting for me talking to a 45 year old with a tail and ears than a 25 year old who looks the same.

Age usually comes out in the writing anyway - people my age don't abbreviate as much, sentence structure, etc.  And as someone implied above, I dont share much intimate information unless there's a level of trust built up.

^ Ditto ^

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Annabel Lectar wrote:

I  don;t care how old they are but I do ask if they are rich and before you all say anything it is because I don;t want gold-diggers leaching of me!

I'm not rich. Probably BECAUSE I never gold dig,lol. Hey maybe I should start. what size spoon you use for that?

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geocink wrote:

I want to have adventures with my peers, and being legally an adult does not make you a peer.  This is my escape time, and thats how i want to spend it.  I'm sorry, but its just more interesting for me talking to a 45 year old with a tail and ears than a 25 year old who looks the same.

I never ask people's ages.   A couple of close friends have volunteered the information, and often I can infer it from their references to RL -- their children's ages or whatever -- but I just go on whether I enjoy their company.    I guess most of my closest friends must be roughly the same age as me, to within ten years or so, but that's by no means a hard and fast rule.    And it's only if we find each other interesting to talk to that I would expect to find out their age, or guess it, in the general run of events.

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Yes Innula, for general purposes and certainly in any long term relationships, I'm very much the same. Moreover my post was a commentary on the fact that it doesn't seem to be a priority for those out there 'shopping' *cough* I work as a dancer/stripper and spend time in a place where many turn up I guess thinking it's a buffet of sensual delight just for the asking, when in reality, it's a freindly club that happens to have dancers. But you just get so much of 'hey baby, where you from?' kind of thing and occasionally questions of RL gender, both of which I find very assuming. I just find it incredibly amazing that in all the hits I have ever had of that nature, not one has ever made it a priority to verify that I was indeed an adult, when they were obviously looking for adult favors, lol

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When I was a dancer, my responses to questions like that -- well, I'm OK with, "where are you from?" if we've been chatting for a bit, but not as way of starting the conversation -- were usually, while always polite, sufficient to make sure we were in no danger of taking the relationship beyond  light social chit-chat.

I'm wondering if people who start a conversation like that are, maybe, generally too new to be worrying about whether the people they're talking to are, in fact, adults.   It may just not occur to them as an issue.   

 

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yes, when in the context of being paid for a date or session or if they are acting like a kid on my sim...

all of my staff have this in their rate cards

Age Verification~
I will ask you to state in IM that you are at eighteen years of age or older & are entitled legally to participate in our Adult conversation. I will not be held liable if you are lying about your age to me or to LL expressly breaking LL ToS by falsely representing yourself as an adult.

with the self verifly LL implemented months ago, anyone can be lying about their age, plus payment info used could access Adult from the beginning

Teens are playing on Mature sims as LL has allowed that when they allowed teens on the main grid, with the younger ones supposedly staying on their PG "school sims"

I kick & report 2-3 self professed underage people every quarter. And those are just the ones that admit they are underage for Adult sim.

.

 

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