Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
jofunne Avon

Gorean RP

Recommended Posts

I just don't get what all the fuss is over. If your relationship is in dire enough straits that a pixelated piece of ass could come between you and your spouse, the problem in your First Life, not in your Second Life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Winter Azarov wrote:

No I most certainly do not!!!!  OMG, how horribly rude!!!  That whole stupid idea of lusting after some famous person is just absolutely horrible, it is just so rude you do not even know the person whatsoever.  It is completely objectifying someone even more than this society already does.   If I was with someone who I cared about and who was treating me properly why would I even dream of looking at someone else?  That is not how real love works.....if a man truly loved a woman, he could walk into a room with a hundred naked chicks and never even notice because he would only have eyes for his wife....that is love....and that is how a REAL man would behave.

As for what century I am in.....I in that time warp where women behaved as Ladies and respected themselves and where men were gentleman of honor.  Interestingly enough, the divorce rate was not as high as the marriage rate either
;)

Hey! Thanks for this ^^.  Made me laff my buttocks off. 

That is not how real love works.....if a man truly loved a woman, he could walk into a room with a hundred naked chicks and never even notice because he would only have eyes for his wife....that is love....and that is how a REAL man would behave.

That is just silly!  Dead men don't walk. :)  I can't imagine that any man, or woman for that matter, would suddenly stop looking at attractive people simply because they had caught the loves. It is too tall an order and a flimsy definition of a "real man." 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, yes.

For me, SL is an extension of RL, not just a game. A relationship on SL is with a real human being, not a piece of software like on some video or computer games. So, while getting sexual pleasure on SL you are giving sexual pleasure to another person. I am married and faithful. Being faithful includes SL.

I realize, however, that for some people who are involved in roleplaying, SL is just a game. Their attitude will be quite different. However, two things should be kept in mind:

1) Your spouse or significant other should approve. If not, or if you have to keep your SL activity secret, don't do it.

2) The other avatar your avatar is involved with is a real person. Real people get pleasure, sexual or otherwise, from SL relationships and can also get hurt by those relationships.

Marybeth

http://www.flickr.com/photos/marybethcooperstone/sets/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No I most certainly do not!!!!  OMG, how horribly rude!!!  That whole stupid idea of lusting after some famous person is just absolutely horrible, it is just so rude you do not even know the person whatsoever.  It is completely objectifying someone even more than this society already does.   If I was with someone who I cared about and who was treating me properly why would I even dream of looking at someone else?  That is not how real love works.....if a man truly loved a woman, he could walk into a room with a hundred naked chicks and never even notice because he would only have eyes for his wife....that is love....and that is how a REAL man would behave.

OMG Winter... Are u serious!!! REALLY!!!!

U really need to take your head out of the sand,  if you believe that true love is that a man should be able walk into al from full of naked women that he would NOT LOOK common he would, as we all do it is our nature, an women look too!!!. So please do claim that using your hand or devices is cheating.Because it is not.  And the fact to u live in a century were u did not have divorce is because like some one else said. "divorce was not allowed, and the Men had Many mistresses, and the wife just had to accept and did" so please think about what u are saying, the changes of u finding a man that live up to your standers is slim to non.!!! And if he does ecsiste...well check on him as I am sure he will FAIL your test of walking through a room full of nude women..heheheh:))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


WhiteLione wrote:

No I most certainly do not!!!!  OMG, how horribly rude!!!  That whole stupid idea of lusting after some famous person is just absolutely horrible, it is just so rude you do not even know the person whatsoever.  It is completely objectifying someone even more than this society already does.   If I was with someone who I cared about and who was treating me properly why would I even dream of looking at someone else?  That is not how real love works.....if a man truly loved a woman, he could walk into a room with a hundred naked chicks and never even notice because he would only have eyes for his wife....that is love....and that is how a REAL man would behave.

OMG Winter... Are u serious!!! REALLY!!!!

U really need to take your head out of the sand,  if you believe that true love is that a man should be able walk into al from full of naked women that he would NOT LOOK common he would, as we all do it is our nature, an women look too!!!. So please do claim that using your hand or devices is cheating.Because it is not.  And the fact to u live in a century were u did not have divorce is because like some one else said. "divorce was not allowed, and the Men had Many mistresses, and the wife just had to accept and did" so please think about what u are saying,
the changes of u finding a man that live up to your standers is slim to non
.!!! And if he does ecsiste...well check on him as I am sure he will FAIL your test of walking through a room full of nude women..heheheh:))

Unless they lie.

...Dres

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's cheating if you lie about having an SL relationship. There are plenty of couples who have RL relationships and have different partners in SL, and they're open about it. Some people are perfectly fine with having a separate SL life, and it really doesn't affect their RL.

But it doesn't mean that SL relationships don't have the capability of being destructive to a real marriage. Plenty of RL marriages have been ruined as a consequence of people meeting in SL.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So what I am seeing here is, with the exception of a couple of the ladies, no one on this forum has any morals or respect for the sacred vows?  Nice to know.

And saying "they all do it"...just reconfirms to most women that all men are scum, nice job!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know a lot of people in SL who are caught in ambiguous RL/SL relationships. I've had friends who have decided to end their RL marriage because of SL. In most of the cases, they were unhappy in their marriages to begin with. I certainly can't judge them, because I'm not in their situation. I've had to watch my words carefully around them, because I've been pretty honest with how I feel about cheating in SL.  My RL spouse and I both play SL together and each of us certainly would consider it cheating if the other were to have a SL relationships with other people. I just know I could never do that to someone, because  I would feel devasted if that happened to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he didn't know I was doing it, it would feel like cheating. If I wanted to do it and he knew I was doing it, and he was okay with it, that's fine. "Cheating" even in real life isn't only about sex, it's also about having intimate emotional relationships. Even if there was no sex, treating someone else like they were my spouse would feel like cheating for that reason.

I can get that emotional contact from hubby. Also if I want some dirty internet chat I suspect I could get him to oblige. He travels for work a lot, and if ever we feel like we need to spice things up while we're apart I'll see if I can get him to install SL... >:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally I would not enter a relationship with a lady on SL or OFFLINE if I knew or found out she was in a relationship/marriage. I for one believe it is cheating. That is why I seek only single ladies as I am also single. No entanglements and no issues of infidelity that way.

 

But that's only my 2 cents 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Bree Giffen wrote:

Cheating is more than just sexual misconduct. I mean the guy could be taking another woman to the county fair with her kid and having the time of his life winning prizes and riding the carousel while you're sitting at home wondering where he is. That's not cheating? I guess for me cheaing can also be the misappropriation of love and affection.

I couldn't agree more.  I read somewhere women can forgive their husbands/significant others for having sex more readily than what you described Bree.  Sex is sometimes just a physical thing for a man, whereas spending time and giving attention to another woman without the wife's knowledge is considered much more hurtful.

Edit to add: Wanted to make it clear I personally don't condone either one.  Faithfulness, honesty, and integrity is important to me in any world.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Allazondra Torii wrote:

So what I am seeing here is, with the exception of a couple of the ladies, no one on this forum has any morals or respect for the sacred vows?  Nice to know.

And saying "they all do it"...just reconfirms to most women that all men are scum, nice job!

How can you sit here and say that no one has morals or values?  I read a lot from people who have morals and values; the problem isn't that they don't have them, it is that you don't share the same ones they do. 

It would be like if you were to walk into a museum and see a painting of a naked woman.  Some would be offended and exclaim "Porn!" while others would see it as art.  We all view things differently.  Unless you can see the inner workings and thoughts of someone's mind, it is quite bold and ignorant for you to make and exclamation that "all men are scum." 

I feel quite sad for you and what you have encountered in life to come to this conclusion.  I feel this thread has been very eye opening and thought provoking as it is a question that I think about quite often and it is unfortunate that you can not see it for that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's only cheating if you lie, or withold the truth. My partner doesn't care what I do on SL and generally encouredges most things that lead me to masturbation or sexual activity, since he's a sexual person and enjoys things like that, as well as the stories I have to tell him after.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It depends.

First on your reason to have a relationship in SL, second on what your RL partner thinks about it and third how you act.

Ask yourself, do you lie to your RL partner because of SL? Have you ever told her/him about it? Do you sometimes wish to be with your SL partner rather than with your RL one? It all depends on honesty. If you don't do anything that feels like cheating from the viewpoint of your partner, than its absolutly no problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think its cheating because RL is real and SL isn't. Now don't get new wrong, you can develops feelings for someone in SL but if you have an RL life w/someone you really do love, then your SL friends should know that before feelings start to fly. For me, Ive had SL sex and my bf was in room watching the pixels on the screen go. You might think its strange, wrong, or wonder why my bf just doesn't get his own avatar and have sex w/me in SL too? But the bottom line is that my SL life is a persona of what I want you to see and to me, they're just pixels on a computer screen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To be honest is all up to you and what you decide. It's really no one's business but your own and what you do with your account. Thats why theres alot of drama in secondlife to begin with.  Secondlife is isn't real until you take it outside of secondlife. I say communication is the key to solving all problems.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my opinion it depends on two things.

First, as others have said, it depends on what your rl partner thinks is cheating and the spoken or unspoken agreements you have. If you are breaking a promise to the person you love, it is cheating.

 

Second, sex in sl is not by any stretch of the imagination the same thing for everyone. Those who think of it as "pixel sex" and to whom it is two avatars jumping on poseballs and grunting are doing something that most people would not consider cheating (and are also missing out).

If you are connecting to another person sincerely, even if anonymously, in sexual activity, I think most people would consider it cheating. If you share an emotional aspect that reaches you deeply as you express your intimacy with that person across the internet, you are one of those. If you weave a shared erotic fantasy with another human through sl, and feel it in rl, you are most likely cheating.

Then you just have to ask yourself--is it worth it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To go one step further on this lovely post by Dres ... (and by the by, my mate and I have a similar relationship, as I noted in a similar thread) ...

Physical attraction (lust) has far more to do with a sexual encounter than one's emotions do. Human Beings are creatures of instinct first, creatures of emotion and "logic" second. You can no more look at a woman (or pixels, or artwork ...) you find attractive/appealing and not feel the call of your biology than you can cease to breathe.

The real trick is decoupling that physical reaction from the emotional one. Some can do it (my mate and I), others simply cannot.

I am unsure if I have stated this in the other thread or not ... I am certain I stated that I wouldn't get into the RL aspect. This time ... I will.

My mate and I keep the same rules in real life as we do when using Second Life: With the added stipulations that any prospective partner needs to be "clean" (I trust I do not need to explain this), that the other must meet and approve of this prospective partner, that any and all protections possible be used (barring allergic reactions, trust me ... they exist and suck) and - when/where applicable - the prospective partner be shared (assuming said partner has no issues with this and swings both ways, as my mate and I do)/

It's not a lifestyle for everyone - it really isn't. It can be difficult to pull off and is made far more complicated by the traditional relationship roles and the ability of the prospective partner to decouple emotion from the physical responses.

In truth the coupling of these two very different and distinct responses did not come about until much later in Human history. The earliest Humans had no issues whatsoever in spreading their genes far and wide. This is the basest reason for lust. As Humanity evolved and the need for this waned, the coupling began.

Those like myself and my mate still remained however - with the need to reinforce the Human race no longer an issue, that lust became little more than something to enjoy. The concept of "cheating" is in the eye of the beholder - I explained  what it means to me in the other thread: It does not matter how man women (or men) one lusts after (or indeed, 'engages'). The important part is that your "heart" belongs to your mate/spouse.

Humans are nothing more than animals on a higher evolutionary strata. Take a good, long look at the way some species of animal act in terms of sexual events. No other animal has such compunctions as we Humans do. Wolves choose a mate and remain by their side until death ... then the surviving member chooses a new mate. Other species do not do this.

In my eyes, the people unable to come to terms with their baser selves are to be pitied. They livei in constant fear of themselves (and some responses, such as the emotion of anger/hate/rage ... rightfully so). Lust is not an emotion: It is not to be feared.

Before we each knew this about the other, my mate and I still made comments to each other concerning the attractiveness of someone we met, saw in passing or saw on a screen. We got a kick out of it. The fact that the times we did this and afterwards shared a bit of intimacy (which was quite heightened by the thought of the other doing the same with the person we had just commented on by the by) was a wake up call to us eventually.

I am proud that my mate embraces the primal side of herself. I am proud that others find her attractive enough to want to sleep with her/. And the same goes for her! Indeed, in certain circumstances, we have watched the other in play .... and when all was said and done? The moments we share afterward are far more intense.

Welcome to the Human Race, folks. Couples like ourselves are on the rise ... and I for one am thankful that Humanity has undergone another evolution, one which comes closer to a greater understanding of ourselves. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate (no, I love) to break it to you ....

Those "sacred vows" are a fabrication designed by the fearful.

One can be quite "moral" without needing to adhere to such a controlling striture.

You've done nothing more than out yourself for one of the "people" the believe your way is the only way - a mode of thought that has caused countless wars. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd have thought someone would realise they were cheating on their particular RL relationship if they felt unable to share their SL activities with their RL partner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


WhiteLione wrote:

No I most certainly do not!!!!  OMG, how horribly rude!!!  That whole stupid idea of lusting after some famous person is just absolutely horrible, it is just so rude you do not even know the person whatsoever.  It is completely objectifying someone even more than this society already does.   If I was with someone who I cared about and who was treating me properly why would I even dream of looking at someone else?  That is not how real love works.....if a man truly loved a woman, he could walk into a room with a hundred naked chicks and never even notice because he would only have eyes for his wife....that is love....and that is how a REAL man would behave.

OMG Winter... Are u serious!!! REALLY!!!!

U really need to take your head out of the sand,  if you believe that true love is that a man should be able walk into al from full of naked women that he would NOT LOOK common he would, as we all do it is our nature, an women look too!!!. So please do claim that using your hand or devices is cheating.Because it is not.  And the fact to u live in a century were u did not have divorce is because like some one else said. "divorce was not allowed, and the Men had Many mistresses, and the wife just had to accept and did" so please think about what u are saying, the changes of u finding a man that live up to your standers is slim to non.!!! And if he does ecsiste...well check on him as I am sure he will FAIL your test of walking through a room full of nude women..heheheh:))

omg my husband would be tripping and stumbling the whole way through that room..

and i would be laughing at him LOL

we are very open as far as knowing each other in that way..he looks at other women..but i don't even have to catch him looking..he will tell me..

he's allowed to..i don't put that kind of pressure on him to where he has to hide it..i like that he can tell me  those things.and he is compfy with me doing the same..

he will look at some girls butt and be like..she has a nice butt..and i'll be like..ya she does..oh i like those pants..

he'll be like..we should get you a pair of those pants..LOL

i tend to be fun flirty myself..he gets a kick out of that..because he knows i do it just to get reactions of what other guys will do if they know my husband is there lol

not always ..but when the mood hits me hehehehe

if you can't be totally free with your mate then who can you be free with..

 

a lot of cases if the man feels his wife would get upset or think bad of him and were to walk through a room of 100 naked women and doesn't look at a one of them..it's because he knows she is watching his every move..

 

mine i would know ahead of time to bring plenty of napkins  to wipe the drule from his face and shirt by the time he reached the end of the room where i was at..lol

he's all man thats for sure..and i would never want to train that out of him..it's a big part of the reason we are so good together..i never wanted to change him and he really never has tried to change me..

we were both in controlling types of relationships before where the other was allways accussing of cheating or whatever..so we both made a promise to be open and honest on everything..

i don't ever want him to feel he has to hide how he feels about anything..and i don't want him to make me feel i have to hide what i feel..

because then thats just white lies that will turn into bigger ones one day..

love is true honesty and total trust..not oh he or she is trained really well now.. LOL

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's all a matter of perception. If you are in a committed monogamous relationship in RL and you are honest with yourself then you know if you are cheating or not. To claim that it doesn't count because SL isn't real is disingenuous at best.  If you are immersed in SL and have invested your real feelings with another avatar in SL, that is a "real" relationship.  Real enough to to wreck a RL relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My SO has been playing SL for months, but I just found out a few days ago that he's "in a relationship" with someone, they say they "love" each other, and have been graphically cybering for some weeks now.  They're even planning to meet in person at a SL event a few months from now, even though when I ask he insists he is going alone and only there for the event.

Tell ya what, I'm **bleep**ing devastated.  I'd known he was palling around with chicks prior to this, but he never let on what was really going on - the current one has only been going on for a bit over a month, and is the only one he's cybered with and talked on the phone and such... I'm afraid he's even planning to ditch our relationship :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...