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Favorite Comedy Quotes or Skits... You Tube Welcome!


Mayalily
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Rita Rudner
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers."

And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for candy."

I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, "Trick or treat."

And then I'd say, "No thank you."


I had a huge laugh from that one last night when I was watching Rita Rudner on TV last night.

Please share some of your favorite comedy quotes or skits.  You Tube is welcome.

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This is a parapharsed quote from Rita Rudner.

 

"I married an Englishman.  I consider myself very lucky because he doesn't know anything about American Football.  Last night we were watching a game and he asked "What does halftime mean?".  And, I answered, "Halftime means the game is over".

ROFLMAO!

 

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i don't exactly remember the entire punchline but there was a TV show a while back hosted by a top british comedian they were talking about pets something along the lines of

"instead of cross breeding dogs, cross breed between other animals. wouldn't it be fantastic if you cross bread a dog with a monkey, you take it out for walks and it could pick up it's own sh*t"

i found it utterly hillarious

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Kelli May wrote:

Margeret Dumont setting up the jokes with incredible skill. The value of a good straight-man (or woman) should not be underestimated.

Yes, she was fantastic.  She made 7 films with Marx Brothers.   

I very much appreciate the value 'the' straight-man provides. .  That is why I love having the LWL to post to in this forum; they are making me into a star.  :matte-motes-bored: 

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This thread was roll on the floor funny, though I've only gotten half way through because You Tube kept timing out on my me last night.  I got through Sy's which I found hysterically funny (pun intended, lol).

@ Stella, speaking of cake, Rita Rudner had a good one>

"When I was a kid we mixed water and flour and got glue.  Then, when I grew up, if I added sugar and eggs, I got cake.  When I was eating the cake, I was wondering how they got the glue out?"

Rita Rudner

 

_______________

Speaking of glue and cake, I don't think they got the glue out, as if you eat cake, it will remain glued to your body until death and cake do you part!  ~ Mayalily

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i really liked dane cook when he was more energetic..he just made me laugh so hard with how crazy he would get and  just go off on tangents  over the smallest but coolest stuff ..

this man makes me laugh..my father has his first album..it made some kind of history about censorship or something..

anyways here is sam kinison going on about jesus and his wife hehehehe

 

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Kelli May wrote:

Margaret Dumont setting up the jokes with incredible skill. The value of a good straight-man (or woman) should not be underestimated.

 

S'true.

Groucho said she was so funny because she really did not know any of it was funny. She played it straight because to her it was a serious acting role. She was also "bald as a cue ball" in person. The brothers used to steal her wig during trips to get her dander up. (Er, So to speak.)

 

 

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