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What is a master supposed to do?

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15 hours ago, Callum Meriman said:

Likely because he is hiding from them :-

So, all those buxom (real life) females who would otherwise be peeling him grapes in Nadu pose, don't actually realise he is online, and he - as a result - is alone and bored.

 

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On 23/10/2011 at 9:59 AM, carissabelle said:

i was just reading this and thought its quite interesting.

Well from my experiences, a Master is just a Master when he feels naughty. Then he would spank me and do all sorts of kinky stuff with me.

So basically (to me) it's like "Honey, i'm feeling naughty let's play Master and Slave"

I would love to meet a Master/Mistress who doesn't think about sex all the time. I am sure theres other things they can do with their Subs/Slaves. Like maybe going dancing? Or just sit by the fire and talk? Or even go shopping together?

 

You mixing up the sub and the slave what you want is a sub in a relationship. Have a partner and have some nice kinky sex. A slave is just a talking tool, an object for fun. So don't look after a Master just look for a partner how is a bit dominant. 

Btw back to the original question. A Master is there for nurture, protect and to care for a lesser being how is the sub. I had meet a couple how was in a M/S relationship and the S was a really talented artist but easy. So her M was responsible to motivate her. And off cures there was the nice and kinky sex too. 

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1 hour ago, Derekmate said:

A Master is there for nurture, protect and to care for a lesser being how is the sub

a sub is NOT a lesser being

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8 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

True.

My sub is divine. :x

6”, or 12” sub?

WaWa makes great subs!

Edited by Love Zhaoying
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Ok next time when you see your sub ask if she/he thinks that she/he is equal with you. Plz post the answer.  

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6 minutes ago, Derekmate said:

Ok next time when you see your sub ask if she/he thinks that she/he is equal with you. Plz post the answer.  

Who do you think holds the actual power in that kind of relationship, hm?

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Assuming consent is being observed, there's no reason two people can't have a relationship in which both are equal in status and value but one partner holds the authority to make decisions, issue commands etc within negotiated and agreed limits. They then have equal power over negotiation and adherence to consent and limits.

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31 minutes ago, Derekmate said:

Ok next time when you see your sub ask if she/he thinks that she/he is equal with you. Plz post the answer. 

Omg, I am a submissive and there is no way I am less then ANY Master. This is why I have given up trying to find one, the majority of them are like you, wannabe's and fakes. Get over yourself!

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As Skell and Lexxi suggested, all power and authority any master, dominant, mistress or domme has, comes from the willful submission of their partner(s). A D/s relationship is not about one party taking all he or she wants and using the other without any regard for their wishes - unless of course those are the agreed terms of the relationship, which is not 'usually' the case. 

If it isn't consensual, it's not a relationship, it's illegal abduction and rape - which is NOT what BDSM is about, even if it is sometimes the roleplayed setting of a scene or in some cases, the relationship. 

If one thinks that a master or mistress can do absolutely whatever they please, without regard for any limits and agreements, they will soon find themselves single - at which point their 'title' holds as much authority as Nils Olav's brigadier title. 

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I also think that in ANY D/s relationship (even in so-called 24/7-TPE relationships), there always is (or, is supposed to be!) consent between equal partners, negotiated within the Likes, Dislikes and Limits of BOTH partners (or ALL partners, if there's more than two involved). Any D/s relationship that runs without consent  is abuse, plain and simple. And yes, I think "No means no" is also important in a D/s relationship (which is why safewords are important, not only in SM sessions, but in D/s relationships also)

Through my own experience in this matter, it has become my point of view that  the Master/Mistress is just piloting the ship, but the sub/"slave" is its true captain. And because the Dom/me is piloting, they are supposed to watch their sub closely, follow and extending their limits without really breaking them, to actually RESPECT them.

Edited by ThorinII
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1 hour ago, Derekmate said:

Ok next time when you see your sub ask if she/he thinks that she/he is equal with you. Plz post the answer.  

I believe you are confusing "submissive" with "victim."  

I understand what you are trying to say, but while Clover is my pet, my kitty, my submissive and my toy she is still a person.  She is mine.  She is under me.  But being mine makes her head and shoulders above you.

At lest in my eyes.
And hers.
And those are all that matter.

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I just had a horrible experience in this too.  So:

1. meet very nice Dom with same interests and beliefs. Hit it off!

2. meet his slave and hit it off

3. discuss collar and confirm ownership (collaring rp was not completed at that point)

4. slave finds out and FREAKS out

5. Slave IMs and says this won't work...

 

Seriously, I got told to go by the slave and NOT the 'Dom'.  When I confronted the Dom I was 'acting like a teenager'.  Come on!  Grow a pair and stand up for what you want and don't let the slave run you by the balls!

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6 hours ago, Derekmate said:

Ok next time when you see your sub ask if she/he thinks that she/he is equal with you. Plz post the answer.  

ok, I asked mine

Them: ((Think of a home with a human and a cat... Who is the real owner in that relationship?))

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The sub/slave and dominant are not greater than eachother. The sub/slave has given their submission to the dominant. Both are people, plain and simple. Just because you choose to submit to another does not make you lesser than them. This is coming from a submissive and an owner of two slaves (No, i will not call myself a mistress, even though both of them bless me with that title). Between the 4 of us (myself, my two slaves and my dominant) we are all on equal footing. Now that does not mean their are not rules. Both sides of the coin has rules, we call it a contract. And any rl lifestyler can tell you the importance of the contract, whether you are a sub or a slave. You have your rules (as the dominant) and they have theirs (their limits, hard and soft). 

And Sky, I cant speak for all poly type D/s dynamics, but I know within myown, its a group choice of who we bring in, if we bring in anyone new. If all parties dont agree then we leave our group as is. However, the dom should have taken some time to talk to you about it though and explain things and such. 

Just my two cents. 

 

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Oh I'm well aware of the dynamics of a Poly relationship.  I live it real life and it's not just a game to me.  Nah, these people led me on quite clearly and when she didn't get her way, she threw a fit.  Guess ya had to be there .. 

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I am seriously thinking of walking from a Master as a sub. I don't think he understands what it means to be a dom of a submissive but treats me as a slave with no rights to go anywhere with out his permission. I know he cares but he is a bit to controlling and I am the one that has to give up everything to please him. Any thoughts

 

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17 minutes ago, Tessa Danube said:

I am seriously thinking of walking from a Master as a sub. I don't think he understands what it means to be a dom of a submissive but treats me as a slave with no rights to go anywhere with out his permission. I know he cares but he is a bit to controlling and I am the one that has to give up everything to please him. Any thoughts

Is it possible to have an ((ooc)) conversation with him and ask for a little more freedom?

For myself, I want to do the best thing possible for my sub in all cases, I work pretty hard to be as perfect a Dom for them that I can, and I try pretty hard to give them what I think they want. As much as they hate me asking "((Is there anything I can do better for you))" which normally gets the IC response, "I don't understand Sir" - I do mean it.

Personally I trust they would never hesitate to approach me ((OOC)) and correct any wrong assumptions I was making.

If you discuss what you need with your Dom, and he refuses, then it's time to try to move the RP to a point where you are traded or sold to another, or you simply run away - either in character, or out of character.

Removing the collar out of character is simple, as is muting him to avoid childish drama. Your happiness is number 1.

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I have tried to talk to him as a submissive and he says you have my rules and agreed to them so you have to follow them. There is no wiggle room to the rules. I feel more like a gor slave rather then a bdsm submissive in that it is follow my rules  and that is how it is. I have sl children and a teaching job that i cant really go to because I have to be on the sim all the time. I tried to tell him this isnt what being a sub is but he won't listen

 

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In my view Tessa, he really doesn't sound like a worthy master for you. Rather than being skilled at domination and a worthy partner for YOU, he sounds like he is just an insecure control freak abusing your willingness to play his game. You deserve a far, far better effort from him than that. Doesn't matter that you are his sub, you still deserve absolute respect.

Maybe think of this as a limits issue, because I consider it is.

Your limits are not just sexual, they can absolutely include the need to have away time to do other things - like being with your family, shopping, teaching, time on the beach, dancing - all of this can be brought into the roleplay by a skilled master.

Remember that SL is just a fantasy world and you have your own real needs, your own real desires and above all your own right to be happy. Nobody - absolutely nobody - deserves to be locked in a cage (the sim is a cage too) without some respite. Bluntly, if he can't respect your limits and desires for a little away time then he doesn't respect you as a real person behind the avatar, and he has lost all rights - I believe - to keep you as his Sub.

You are not a real slave, and the BDSM roleplay, well that is just a game. Walking away from a game to do something more fun, or find better people to play with doesn't diminish you in any way, it empowers you.

If I were in your position I'd leave him and spend good time with your family until you find a better Master. One who is worthy of your time.

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1) Always do a trial. A week, two weeks, etc.

2) decide your level of submission is: Just for fun during a scene? Part time (meaning total power exchange from x O'clock to y O'clock), Basic submissive?, Babygirl submissive? Total Power Exchange 24/7 Slave submissive?

3) FACT: 90% of all self-proclaimed "Masters" in SL absolutely are not.

Best approach - talk to as many as you can over a period of several DAYS, not hours. The very first time one commands you to kneel or demands you call him "sir" BEFORE you submit to him: send a nice thanks, but no thanks. You don't want pretenders. A good one, even if all he's done is deep research on da internetz, will be 100 times better. Because the D/s thing is STILL 75% vanilla and he knows you are and will treat you as an EQUAL if you are unsubmitted to him (and even if you ARE submitted to someone else).

never take a collar that is thrown against the wall to see if it sticks. Actually, after getting to know someone and you feel confident it looks like a good match then YOU should be the one who begs for HIS collar. If he throws one at you unsolicited then he's just looking for another temporary playtoy because they are literally falling out of the sky at the Temple of Open Collar. he can replace you in the blink of an eye.

The best "offered collar" I ever received went like this: He showed it to me. Told me how "dangerous" it is, that I dare not touch it on pain of the consequences. Then he put it on the table and logged out. He said when I return and I see it still there then there it will sit. If it is not there, however, I will expect to see the one wearing it kneeling there by the door awaiting my presence. /me shivers (It was set for sale so I could take it if I wanted; I did. We lasted three and half years and it was great)

Edited by Alyona Su
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1 hour ago, Alyona Su said:

1) Always do a trial. A week, two weeks, etc.

2) decide your level of submission is: Just for fun during a scene? Part time (meaning total power exchange from x O'clock to y O'clock), Basic submissive?, Babygirl submissive? Total Power Exchange 24/7 Slave submissive?

3) FACT: 90% of all self-proclaimed "Masters" in SL absolutely are not.

Best approach - talk to as many as you can over a period of several DAYS, not hours. The very first time one commands you to kneel or demands you call him "sir" BEFORE you submit to him: send a nice thanks, but no thanks. You don't want pretenders. A good one, even if all he's done is deep research on da internetz, will be 100 times better. Because the D/s thing is STILL 75% vanilla and he knows you are and will treat you as an EQUAL if you are unsubmitted to him (and even if you ARE submitted to someone else).

never take a collar that is thrown against the wall to see if it sticks. Actually, after getting to know someone and you feel confident it looks like a good match then YOU should be the one who begs for HIS collar. If he throws one at you unsolicited then he's just looking for another temporary playtoy because they are literally falling out of the sky at the Temple of Open Collar. he can replace you in the blink of an eye.

The best "offered collar" I ever received went like this: He showed it to me. Told me how "dangerous" it is, that I dare not touch it on pain of the consequences. Then he put it on the table and logged out. He said when I return and I see it still there then there it will sit. If it is not there, however, I will expect to see the one wearing it kneeling there by the door awaiting my presence. /me shivers (It was set for sale so I could take it if I wanted; I did. We lasted three and half years and it was great)

xXxSniperWolfMasterx2018Xx <- what I wanted my ID to be if I was a master

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He is not a new Master but recently been wanting me home on his SIM whether or not he is on so that when he does come on I am there. I had a job and children before him and he doesn't understand part of my life is on another SIM. He thinks that bdsm submission and Gor slavery are the same thing. That submitting myself to him I am giving complete say over everything to him as a slave. It is hard to talk to a Master when they are making sure you see that there rules are being followed but posting them instead of listening to what is on your mind. 

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