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Do you sometimes feel ignored in group chats?

Selina Graycloud

By Selina Graycloud,
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JeanneAnne

JeanneAnne

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Selina Graycloud wrote:

Hi! Well, I thought I would post this due to the fact that sometimes I swear I am being ignored in chats lol or enter in to find others with the same.  Does this happen to you? How do you overcome? Or do you wind up just IMing messages back and forth TO YOURSELF!!! lol

Yeah. A lot of times in clubs most of the ppl know one another. They're having their chat & I attempt to enter in & basically get ignorned. This is typical, altho some ppl will go outuv their way to interact w/ strangers. Once you've established your own circle of friends you'll have ppl to chat with, if they're inworld when you are. Meanwhile, don't take being ignored personally. Ppl aren't ignoring you purposefully just to hurt your feelings. They're just interacting w/ their friends & don't know you.

Jeanne

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Chelsea Malibu

Chelsea Malibu

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I think it all depends on the group and your "social status" (I hated even typing that term) in SL.  But one thing is for sure, the more you chat the more people recognize your name and the more likely they are to respond.  It's really not you, just other people are shy.  When they feel comfortable that you are easy to talk to and nice, they will open up.  Just realize, people in SL tend to be a bit shy which is why many are here in the first place. Give it some time to become a part of that group and things will change.

I guarantee that or your money back. ;)

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Debbydo

Debbydo

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Hi, where I am in a star trek sim Galaxy fleet command, we welcome new people to talk to.

I find reading peoples profiles help as that way you know you may get spoken too.

But I do find I have visited other Sims and find it hard talking to people.

I suppose you just keep visiting different Sims till you find one your comfortable with. 

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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Selina Graycloud wrote:

Hi! Well, I thought I would post this due to the fact that sometimes I swear I am being ignored in chats lol or enter in to find others with the same.  Does this happen to you? How do you overcome? Or do you wind up just IMing messages back and forth TO YOURSELF!!! lol

I think we all suffer a bit of this when entering a new space. When I'm at a venue with friends, I often go out of my way to welcome strangers and try to get them into the conversation. I'll check their profiles to see if there's some "hook" I can use to draw them in. If I find myself in a new space, surrounded by strangers, I'll listen for a while, to try to get a sense for the flow of the conversation. Then I'll do the same thing, examine the profiles of the chatters and look for a hook. This works pretty well. I'm an introvert so it's hard work, but without it I'm just gonna be a wallflower.

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Venus Petrov

Venus Petrov

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Group chat lag can be annoying sometimes so when a group chat box pops open, I will see if there is anything of interest being discussed before I either close the box or chime in.  Spammers in group chat get the automatic 'close' and I will remove the group if the group owner will not control spam.

I do not use group chat as my primary means of communicating.  If it is one-on-one, I tend to use IM.  If it is more than one, and we are in the same location, I use local chat.  I rarely spend much time in group chat.

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Dillon Levenque

Dillon Levenque

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If you go to a club or some other public event typically the host or hostess will say 'Hi'. Sometimes nobody else says a word to you even though there's conversation going on. That might be a bad sign.

I've found that in the places I go regularly, most of us make a point of speaking to new people (possibly 'cause we're just getting bored with talking to ourselves all the time). If you arrive someplace and several people at least acknowledge you, the chances you can join the conversation should be pretty good.

And no, I've never had an IM convo with myself :-). Lord knows I talk to myself enough in RL; I don't need to do that inworld as well.

 

 

ETA: If in your OP you used 'group chat' to mean the actual 'Group Chat' feature in which group members share common IM's, my advice was completely pointless (some might suggest that's true more often than not in any case). In reading your comment and those of others I got the idea you meant public chat between a group of avs in the same location and my comments were about those situations.

Participating in Group Chat, especially if the other people IM'ing already know each other pretty well and they don't know you at all, might be a little difficult unless you're incredibly brilliant, witty, or both.

 

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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Dillon Levenque wrote:

If you go to a club or some other public event typically the host or hostess will say 'Hi'. Sometimes nobody else says a word to you even though there's conversation going on. That might be a bad sign.

I've found that in the places I go regularly, most of us make a point of speaking to new people (possibly 'cause we're just getting bored with talking to ourselves all the time). If you arrive someplace and several people at least acknowledge you, the chances you can join the conversation should be pretty good.

And no, I've never had an IM convo with myself :-). Lord knows I talk to myself enough in RL; I don't need to do that inworld as well.

ETA: If in your OP you used 'group chat' to mean the actual 'Group Chat' feature in which group members share common IM's, my advice was completely pointless (some might suggest that's true more often than not in any case). In reading your comment and those of others I got the idea you meant public chat between a group of avs in the same location and my comments were about those situations.

Participating in Group Chat, especially if the other people IM'ing already know each other pretty well and they don't know you at all, might be a little difficult unless you're incredibly brilliant, witty, or both.

 

Dillon, for me public chat and group chat aren't really much different, other than you can see all the potential participants in a public setting. In an actual Group Chat you know what the members share in common and you can pop up the profiles of those chatting, so it's just as easy to find a hook if the common interest doesn't provide one. It does take a little confidence to get through those cases where your efforts fall flat, but each success gives you a new place you can go.

As you so sagely noted, we're all prolly dying to talk to someone new ;-)

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MoiselleErin Teardrop

MoiselleErin Teardrop

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yeah kind of like real life isn't it?

The best thing is to NOT try to worm one's way into cliques. Best to have individual friends.

I talk to 4 different folks on SL, as I am not in there a whole lot anymore but the thing is, those 4 do not know each other. Sure they would probably get long but the 4 are nothing alike so I keep it one on one.

 

You have to keep in mind with a RL or SL group chat, most people are more interested in what they want to say instead of listening to anyone else.

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Dillon Levenque

Dillon Levenque

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

Dillon, for me public chat and group chat aren't really much different, other than you can see all the potential participants in a public setting.

Yeah. See them and perv them. Perving almost always gives me something to talk about ;-). I suppose in Group Chat I could IM someone asking, "What are you wearing?", but I'm thinking that might not fly.

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Dillon Levenque

Dillon Levenque

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MoiselleErin Teardrop wrote:

yeah kind of like real life isn't it?

The best thing is to NOT try to worm one's way into cliques. Best to have individual friends.

I talk to 4 different folks on SL, as I am not in there a whole lot anymore but the thing is, those 4 do not know each other. Sure they would probably get long but the 4 are nothing alike so I keep it one on one.

 

You have to keep in mind with a RL or SL group chat, most people are more interested in what they want to say instead of listening to anyone else.

 

I've not experienced a lack of interest. I think I'd agree that some people are more interested in what they want to say than in anything anyone else says, but in my travels I've found those people to be few and far between.

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Ren Toxx

Ren Toxx

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Rarely ever. I always wait until I feel I really have something interesting to say... something that actually helps the flow of the conversation, or at least goes with it.

In most of the cases I've witnessed of people feeling ignored and getting pissed 'cause of that, it usually was right after they came said 'Hi' and expected everything to stop for a massive exchange of greetings, and/or said something that was either just indirectly related to the ongoing conversation, or with no relation whatsoever to it.

And yes, in a public venue everyone has a right to being part of the conversation... but I see this as similar to joining a group of people who are watching a movie: yes, ideally they should pause it to exchange greetings with you; yes, ideally they should rewind it to the beginning for you to enjoy it as well; and yes, ideally they should even ask you if you prefer to see another movie. But if all those 'ideal' things happened each time someone drops by, chances are no one would ever get to see a full movie.

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Taylor Roff

Taylor Roff

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I totally agree Ren...good analogy about the movie.

When I join in a new group or venue, I always make a point to respond and even comment lightly to anyone that welcomes me.  Then I sit back and pay attention, adding "LOL" or "/me agrees" or something like that as I observe the conversation.  I don't jump in with my own comments until I get the flow and know a little about the members.  Sometimes it takes several sessions, sometimes just a few minutes.  Depends on if the group has a serious discussion going or just idle chatter.  I've never felt ignored out of rudness, nearly everyone I have met in SL is nice, but if you jump in to a convo before you have a clue, the regulars may just not know how to respond to something you say.  If the group has a leader or the venue has a host, talk to them.  They are there to make you feel welcome and as they interact with you the others will usually follow. 

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Bandito Razor

Bandito Razor

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I don't have this problem as I tend to be a very social person, both off and on SL. If there is a conversation that I am interested in, I have no problem leaping in (such as when at a club or something)

 

However, if you want feel free to IM me (Bandito Razor in world) if you want to talk. Heck, chances are I will end up sending you an IM to talk myself

^_^

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Quinn Morani

Quinn Morani

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Madelaine McMasters wrote:

Dillon Levenque wrote:

 

I've found that in the places I go regularly, most of us make a point of speaking to new people (possibly 'cause we're just getting bored with talking to ourselves all the time). 

As you so sagely noted, we're all prolly dying to talk to someone new ;-)

 

No wonder no one talks to me anymore! :matte-motes-tongue:

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Madelaine McMasters

Madelaine McMasters

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Quinn Morani wrote:

Madelaine McMasters wrote:

Dillon Levenque wrote:

 

I've found that in the places I go regularly, most of us make a point of speaking to new people (possibly 'cause we're just getting bored with talking to ourselves all the time). 

As you so sagely noted, we're all prolly dying to talk to someone new ;-)

 

No wonder no one talks to me anymore! :matte-motes-tongue:

We can't ignore you if you're not there.

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