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RL vs SL


BJayy
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I don't see how it's possible to keep your RL separate. I mean you can hide your real name, address, looks, sex, age, etc but the person that chats to others in SL, explores sims and goes shopping, is still you. I mean to exist in SL completely devoid of RL would be something like pretending you're an alien where you would chat with strange grammatical syntax, refer to others as humans and be amazed at how we have a yellow sun.

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i kept them very separated.

for me, second life is like a movie, or a storybook, a fantasy world, like a game, so i am playing a character inside second life who lives in the Second Life world where it has all kinds of adventures.

i am the author of my character, like shakespeare is to romeo and juliette, i am not inside the Second Life world, my character is.

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I don't separate them as much as many others do. A lot of the people I consider friends don't either.

Those I call friends know an awful lot about me-rl that is. Even plenty of folks I don't necessarily consider "friends" know plenty of info about my rl. Not everything of course. Most wouldn't know my rl name, oddly enough it rarely comes up. But they might know what country or state I live in. They might know the weather lately, or that I have kids, and we homeschool, or that I have animals, or other  info about my life/home (and now you all know that too, lol). Some might know my email address, if they've had a chat with me outside of sl especially.

There are some things that don't bother me, when shared. There are plenty of others I would only share with those closest to me. There are some things even those closest to me in sl, don't know.

I never pry, but if someone feels like sharing with me, awesome..if not...awesome. I've never really understood the strong desire to keep *all* things (even minor) separate, or how some people manage if(if they do)-but I don't have to understand it. Whatever tickles your pickle, I say. I don't have to understand a decision/choice to respect it though. So that's the route I take, respect others' choices.

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I have had a LOT of bad experiences mixing SL and RL but that doesn't stop me from doing so now and in the future. I, personally, see zero point in having a friend online who I will never speak to face to face. Now, that isn't to say I meet someone /quickly/ but the possibility to meet them in RL is always one I am open to.

 

I mean, if we are SL friends and hang out more nights then not, it seems a bit counter productive to not meet in RL. And while I no longer do SL romance, I think it is even more important then. After all, if you claim to fall in love with someone but refuse to meet, what does that say about the 'relationship' and the 'love' either party claims to feel?

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I categorize people in SL in three ways, the roleplayer, the average gamer, and the facebooker.

The roleplayer is someone who is completely playing a character. I think of Goreans this way. They chat, dress, and act differently in SL. They simply don't exist in RL (unless they get internet access on Gor).

The average gamer is someone who chats like they do in real life, pursues things that interest them, acts like they would in real life, and generally are just playing SL to enjoy it.

The facebooker is exactly like the average gamer except they are playing with their real life information tied to their avatar and want to know the real life information about others.

From what I see and hear in SL and from my experiences in online gaming in general, most people fall under the average gamer category. I mean when you look at all the other massively online games out there, everyone plays with an avatar name and giving out RL information isn't encouraged. When I played Everquest, we had one rolepaly server, ten normal servers, and zero facebook style real life ID'd servers.

The point is that when I read RL vs SL posts they seem to come off as more of a roleplayer vs facebooker post when the reality is that most people are just behaving like average gamers who simply want to play without all the RL identity issues.

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I do and I don't.  I don't play a 'character' in SL.  I am the same in SL as I am in RL, so from that standpoint I mix the two.  On the other hand, my RL is pretty much off limits to most people in SL. 

I do have a few very close friends though that I have known for years, and think of them on the same level as my RL friends.  Over time these friends have earned my trust and we have mutually shared out RL's.  So yes, there are a few people in SL that know a lot about my RL. I've never met these folks in RL mostly because of the distance between us. However given the right opportunity I would love to meet them in RL.

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Fortunately what Bree said about real people being behind the avatars is very true and the very reason that I enjoy Second Life. For me the anonymity is fun too because it allows you to connect at some interestingly intimate levels with people much quicker since the embarrassment factor isn't really there to begin with (although that can also be a ginormous problem but that's a whole other thread). I appreciate and prefer not getting too deeply into anyone else's serious RL, but it is their RL that brings the spices and salts to 'our' SL.

If you're a reasonably mature adult with realistic expectations Second Life can be a whole lot of fun and a fascinating education, truly a trip down the rabbit hole. For me there's no reason to bog down that adventure with all sorts of the actual trials, tribulations, and convoluted private details of our real lives, simply share and work through them in spirit from a confortable distance.

Bring your RL personality, dreams, fantasies, frisky flavors and free spirit and that's plenty for me.

Enjoy your private RL and use it to create a wonderful SL for everyone!

Lanas

 

(P.s. Willow you are too funny. Don't let any mean nasty KGB types catch up with you... Last I saw them they were right behind you :o )

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I disguise my intelligence by assuming a persona with no guile, a minimal vocabulary and equivalent grammatical skills, a complete lack of tact who remains oblivious to suggestions both subtle and obvious regarding my future combined copulation and travel plans.

Just like almost everyone else here.

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I treat SL in much the same way as I do the rest of the internet, in that I do not share my RL name, address, workplace, or any of the same for my friends & relatives with strangers. That's about the only effort I make to keep my RL out of SL.

Persephone is simply my idealized cartoon self. SL allows me to have & do things that I can't have or do so easily in RL. I can have a nice property on the Northern California coast. I can have a cute dog who roams freely without a fence. I can have enough clothes & stuff to fill about 3 large warehouses in RL. I can change my appearance at a whim, fly, teleoport, explore a  multitude of places from history & imagination. I can make all kinds of things with next to no cost & little effort.

Alycia is a sort of role-play character, but I don't use her as much as I do Persephone.

Even so, I think my Second Life bleeds into my Real Life more than the other way around.

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I don't see the dichotomy.  SL is an activity that some people do in their RL.  It's just life.  Whether you're at your "RL" job or Sweeping your "RL" floor or sitting at your RL computer to spend some time in SL, it's all still you, and it's your life.

I don't agree with the notion that SL is some artificial alternative to RL.  It's all real.  If someone ticks you off, you get annoyed/angry, if something cool happens, you like it.  It is time spent as you choose to spend it from however many years/days/hours  your life lasts.  Ok, so it may deal more with exploring ideas, dreams and fantasy than sweeping the RL floor.  But ideas, dreams and fanstasy are real parts of any healthy human being.  Even if one views it as "just play", play is also a healthy and necessary activity and as such a "real" thing.

 

To Bree Griffen- There are Gorean lifestylers.  Obviously they don't live on a planet on the other side of the Sun or ride giant birds to work.  But their private lives may involve actual collars, silks, chains, as well as relationships and personal philosophies that are modelled to one degree or another after the Gorean mythos.  Not all of them play online.  Even before the internet, there were people doing it based on the ideas in John Norman's Gor novels.  But I agree with your point that to a degree at least it still is roleplay.

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I wonder what the difference is. If I meet people RL in a bar or in a shopping mall I wouldn't reveal all my personal stuff at once. And so I won't in SL. How do you know when to trust someone enough to tell stuff about yourself if it is RL? Do you think it is more dangerous in SL to tell personal stuff? I think the chance you misjudged a person in SL is just as big as if it was in RL. So for me it is all the same. I will reveal RL when it is time i reveal some. Or when it is functional.

And then this, I also wonder how many people that keep SL apart from RL are using voice when in world! You see, when someone is using voice you get more RL on your plate then when people just telling their shoe size or the name of their youngest kid his pet in a IM session.

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is not paranoia, if you see a character running around on a screen is obvious is not you, is a virtual character that belongs in a virtual world, why would i attribute my rl characteristics to it? to each their own, he lives in Second Life, i live in my rl world, as a character, he has his own personality separated from mine, because i wanted to create that, a character separated from my rl when i started Second Life, he is a creation of my imagination, he is my art, he is my performance, some people create things, some are coders, some musicians, some are performance art.

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Canoro Philipp wrote:

is not paranoia, if you see a character running around on a screen is obvious is not you, is a virtual character that belongs in a virtual world, why would i attribute my rl characteristics to it? to each their own, he lives in Second Life, i live in my rl world, as a character, he has his own personality separated from mine, because i wanted to create that, a character separated from my rl when i started Second Life, he is a creation of my imagination, he is my art, he is my performance, some people create things, some are coders, some musicians, some are performance art.

and some can't tell the

*

difference!

***

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