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What is the most cliché break up line (or line of reasoning) you've been handed?


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The subject is pretty self explanatory I think. Although I am willing to expand the question to have said, if you are on that side of the fence. Having literally just had a relationship ended on me the other day I found myself curious (rather than upset thankfully) on the matter.

Please no names, in whole or in part, as this post is for discussion and not to name and shame. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

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The subject is pretty self explanatory I think. Although I am willing to expand the question to have said, if you are on that side of the fence. Having literally just had a relationship ended on me the other day I found myself curious (rather than upset thankfully) on the matter.

Please no names, in whole or in part, as this post is for discussion and not to name and shame. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

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the classic: "its not you, its me".

I'm sorry you are in this situation where your relationship just ended. don't be discouraged, it may have been a great relationship, but s/he is not the only one that can make you happy, fit your needs.

you have gained experience, and you are able now to give more to the next person that is going to be your partner, and i wish you that the next person would be a lot better than the one who you broke up recently.

be careful in relationships, and keep your spirit up, ending a relationship is not the end of the world, its the end of a stage of our lives.

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Canoro Philipp:

Ugh, I'm so sorry that you've been fed that line. That one has, and always will be, one of the easy to spot lies at the end of a relationship. The subtext is usually, "It's you or something you did, but I don't want to say what". I've had that said to me too, several times. You'd figure people could or would come up with something new.

I got the rare: "It isn't me, it's you" in subtext.

 Thank you for the sympathy and the kind words. Even when things don't end in a major fall out it helps a lot to hear encouraging words rather than the usual bitterness and anger. I figure that the two of us are better parted, what she wanted literally changed over night and I was no longer in the big picture. I wish her well; however, I hope that lets the next person down without the static lines and with warning (the lead in was: So, I have to tell you something). She's moved on already and I'm going to do the same.

I'll tread more carefully and do my best to not make the same mistakes (although I still sit here wondering if I actually did).

Maryanne Solo:

While that is pretty funny, in it's way. I think I would have gone She-Hulk and smashed some heads if someone said that to me. That is about as classy as "Hey. they're dead right? Can I have their stuff?!"

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"I can't take it anymore... I just wanna die."  This after you've spent the last month or so consoling them while they constantly complain about how horrible their RL is... then they don't sign back on for weeks. 

Of course, that's when you get an IM from some stranger who turns out to be their partner on their main account and you realize they were an alt the whole time, as you go back home to pick up the flowers you set out for them to find, should they ever come back.

Not sure if that's a cliché, but it is a true story.

...Dres

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Willow Danube:

That one is probably the new classic line for this generation of online relationships. I'm sorry that you got pegged by that one. People like that are ticking time bombs for drama and heartache, eventually they will be found out either by their own stupid mistake or luck fails to be on their side.

Wildcat Furse:

Wow, that one floors me, just a BRB? I don't know which is worse: Too much ceremony and times spent on good byes or nothing at all.
I had a guy actually pull a BRB on me last year in December (we had been together several months). He came back in late August of this year and..pulled another vanishing act. "You and I can meet up tomorrow for a date and to catch up," he hasn't logged in under that account since.

Dresden Ceriano:

Oh, ouch. That one really is a relationship black eye. Sadly I think that occurances like that are becoming pretty common place within Second Life. Be it learning that the person you were with was an alt of someone already in a relationship or consoling people whom make themselves utterly inconsolable.
Even if it the story isn't cliché the behavior was (on their part). I'm really sorry that that happened to you.
Hugs for everyone, since the subject can be like rubbing salt in wounds as much as there can be humor in it.

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Randall Ahren:

I can't even tell you how much I hate that particular line. People change all the time on one level or another. From when you first meet someone to the time you say good bye, you are changing or have been changed in some way. Dresden is right, that is "It's not me, it's you".  Knowing how people that usually use that line are I bet they didn't tell you what it was that supposedly changed about you, right?

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t is always nice to hear "Our lives are going in different directions".  "I am going through some personal things right now, so a relationship just complicates things."  But, I have to go with the already stated "It's not you, It's me" one.  I've never had an SL relationship, but I imagine breaking up hurts just as much.  (((Hugs))) to you all.

I am not a huge poster of music, but my undying love of all things rock requires just one song:



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Harlett Daines:

That is sadly really common. The question is, "Did they actually leave SL"? Nine times out of ten it seems that people take those words with a grain of salt and come back as an ALT. 

Cinnamon Mistwood:

Those two are really good ones and almost always phrased in just those words. There is something about nonspecificity that people seem to like when breaking off a relationship (first or second life). I've never understood how leaving things unsaid and/or denying closure makes anything easier.

If we made a graph "It's not you, it's me" would be at the top! One would think that physical distance would make breaking up easier to do, but once invested..it is a whole different ball game.

This topic could easily be open to real life relationships, as there is really little difference in the sting (and emotions are hard to contain to just SL or RL, even if the relationship is only in one and not the other).
Awesome song! It's probably going to get stuck in my head now.

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That one is cliché and not at the same time. In some cases it is used as an excuse or an easy out. However, sometimes it takes people a while to figure out what they really want. Better they told you as much rather than dragging it out, right? I know that guys can get pretty upset when a woman isn't in their "camp".

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That's a cliche break up line? Maybe you were dating Ralph Waldo Emerson, from his essay entitled Self-Reliance (great essay, I highly recommend it):

Speak what you think now in hard words and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. 

 

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Actually I have seen people give that as a reason for breaking up, usually without any explination as to what promises weren't kept or what changes didn't occur. Often times it was over very trivial instances of not keeping a promise or following through. 

In real life I've seen it used plenty and for all sorts of things. Normally it's just phrased as "You don't keep your word", gender aside.

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Kamala Dashuria wrote:

That one is cliché and not at the same time. In some cases it is used as an excuse or an easy out. However, sometimes it takes people a while to figure out what they really want. Better they told you as much rather than dragging it out, right? I know that guys can get pretty upset when a woman isn't in their "camp".

If people are having trouble figuring out what they want, they're often bisexual (if not always). But for some strange reason -- probably because of the politically correct "it's not a choice" mantra -- society has a harder time coming to terms with bisexuality than accepting gays. Bi's do in fact have a choice, and that is something even the most tolerant liberals have a hard time accepting.

Even some gays discriminate against bi's and claim that we're all closet cases in denial, like this delightful fellow. I've also had a gay friend tell me that he could never have a relationship with someone like me because bisexuals couldn't possibly be faithful, which perfectly fits the topic. It's strange that it should be the most inclusive and non-discriminating sexual orientation that almost everyone feels threatened by. 

Personally, I think that bisexuality is a lot more common than people are comfortable admitting. People who score a zero or six on the Kinsey scale are probably pretty rare. But so are people who score a perfect three and are equally attracted to both genders. The vast majority should be somewhere between either 1 and 2 (predominantly hetero but slightly bi), or, in case of people who self-identify as gay because they're under the impression that they have to pick a side, between 4 and 5. In the end, it all comes down to the level of attraction to individual persons anyway. Nobody is attracted to an entire gender group. I'm mainly attracted to feminine traits, but I'd nonetheless pick Eric Bana over Rosie O'Donnell :P

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Willow Woodford wrote:

"The novelty of you has worn off" That one has to be the ultimate stab in the heart.

This may be the ultimate stab in the heart but often it's true. Seems like I'm more addicted to falling in love than to being in love. Maybe this makes me a horrible person but I do get bored with partners rather quickly. Maybe I just haven't met the right person yet. I dunno. But to me the excitement & enchantment comes from the flirting, the newness, the learning about someone... and not from the routine maintenence of the relationship. I would never come right out & say "The novelty of you has worn off" yet often this pretty well sums up how I may be feeling about someone.

Also, the time zone issue is a very real one. I have been dating someone from the Netherlands and someone from the west coast of the US in SL. I live on the east coast. Seems like none of us is ever inworld at the same time, which is maybe a blessing in disguise.

Jeanne

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