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You are Ugly and Your Mother Dresses You Funny


Ima Rang
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So far as the OP... If the person's appearance was a deal-breaker for you, then that's pretty much it.  Everybody has what they're looking for and if the other person is not it, then they're just not it.  I think you would have done better to just be up-front about it though.  Sure, you knew that she'd "been going through a difficult time", but being dodgey and playing games in hopes of her breaking up with you probably didn't help.  If she was worth some time before you saw the pic, then surely she was worth some honesty as to why you were calling it quits.

 

As you said, though, it was a panic reaction.  At least you both found out enough about each other to figure out that neither of you was what the other wanted.  Could have maybe been handled better, but certainly could have gone worse

 

 

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Storm Clarence wrote:


Willow Danube wrote:


Storm Clarence wrote:



/me blinks

You're blinking as if it is a bad thing... :matte-motes-bashful-cute:

/me kneels on his beautiful Persian carpet, reaches for a vial, unzips, and pees in it.  Shakes. Zips.  Takes a quick sniff of the vial;
Iz perfect.

100USD, please.   

Well...that made breakfast a bit less appetizing ;D

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My SL partner and I exchanged RL pics just a week or two ago, but before we did so we both discussed this possibility. We also decided not to tell each other what we thought (however that particular agreement lasted about ten minutes). We are both somewhat insecure of our RL appearance for various reasons but we were both happy with what we saw. It was a big risk though, and I guess it could easily have ended with one or both of us not finding the other attractive.

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@Ishtara:
I think you overrate appearance.... particularly beauty. people everyday are quite happy to date others that the rest of us find absolutely hideous.... I think cleanliness and effort makes a much bigger impression from both my own observations and personal experience... and it'sthe other factors that keep things going, and if you are truly revolting, even make up for it.

Personally I'd date the elephant woman if she met my other requirements.

I'm not saying that given two people with identical non-physical traits that anyone wouldn't go after the more visually appealing one first... that's obviously not true, because we all will go for the bonus if we (think we) have the chance. but in general, beauty only opens the door a little easier.

and of course there's surgery for everything physical, but you can't fix stupid.

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Yay and stuff! 

Here's some web info on pheromones... there is what is called the Vomeronasal organ (or VMO) for short, which is in our human nose and is responsible for detecting pheromones.   Here's a wiki below, but I got the same info on VMO and pheromones on Web, M.D., and other sites also. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomeronasal_organ

Oh, but the secret to using a good pheromone is to keep it a secret to yourself, Willow, and see how others around you start to react.  IOW, don't tell anybody, but (maybe?) tell them afterwards -- in your memoirs, that is. 

 

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Lol Willow, I had a similar experience at the bazaars in Casablanca and Fez, I recall every shop having the same 'marketing techniques'. Serving of peppermint tea, sitting on the cushions, the colorful rugs and the really hard sell on almost anything with the promise of making your husband to go wild :smileyvery-happy: 

I still remember the lovely aroma of the spices and perfumes but I never again want to smell the vats of urine and pigeon droppings they use to tan leather in :matte-motes-agape:

Sorry Ima for the slight derail but I couldn't help but think of Morocco when I read this.

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Jo Yardley wrote: So anyone who comes even close enough for me to consider meeting them in RL would already have seen photos, tv interviews, newspaper articles, centerfolds from 'Boring old fashioned housewives weekly' etc
;)

What?!

No SL 2011 RL rudey nudey calendar? ^^

You are slipping Jo.

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Mayalily wrote:

Yay and stuff! 

Here's some web info on pheromones... there is what is called the Vomeronasal organ (or VMO) for short, which is in our human nose and is responsible for detecting pheromones.   Here's a wiki below, but I got the same info on VMO and pheromones on Web, M.D., and other sites also. 



Oh, but the secret to using a good pheromone is to keep it a secret to yourself, Willow, and see how others around you start to react.  IOW, don't tell anybody, but (maybe?) tell them afterwards -- in your memoirs, that is. 

 

Did you read that entire wiki reference?

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Scientific studies, pheromones and stuff aside, I can only speak from personal experience.  For me, the way a person smells (I almost wrote "spells"... that would be a hoot) is inseparable from how attracted I am to them.

I once dated this gorgeous guy, but his scent was so off-putting to me, that the thought of having sex with him was actually repulsive.  On the other hand, I dated this guy who, while not ugly, wasn't all that much in the way of looks, but his scent was so amazing I wanted to jump him every time he got near.  So for me, it's very closely related.

In the context of SL, I've often wished that I knew what someone I was seeing in SL smelled like, I guess that's where my imagination comes in.  I know that if I were to ever decide to meet an SL partner in RL, I'd know rather quickly if it was a mistake and not necessarily by the way they look alone.

Either way it could only be a bad thing... if I didn't care for their scent, it would wipe out what I imagined their scent to be.  But if I did like their scent, then had to go back to only seeing them in SL where I couldn't smell them, it would probably really bother me.  No, I think my imagination will have to do if I ever decide to have another relationship in SL, which is quite honestly, very doubtful at this point.

...Dres

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:

In the context of SL, I've often wished that I knew what someone I was seeing in SL smelled like, I guess that's where my imagination comes in.

I have asked girls that I date in SL what their favorite perfume in RL is or what they like to wear the most. Or RP being what RP is sometimes I'd phrase it as "what is the heavenly scent you are wearing?"

Sometimes I have been familiar with  the scent and my mind would easily incorporate it.

I also tell the girls that I love to drink pineapple juice.

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Perrie Juran wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:

In the context of SL, I've often wished that I knew what someone I was seeing in SL smelled like, I guess that's where my imagination comes in.

I also tell the girls that I love to drink pineapple juice.

Haha!  Brilliant!  :matte-motes-big-grin-squint:

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Venus Petrov wrote:

Dres:  I understand and agree with your sentiments.  Body scent is separate from pheromones.  I do not wish to confuse thread readers.

You're right.  Sometimes I forget some people need a little extra help.

@Perrie: Mix that with some coconut and rum and I'm right there with you... lol.

...Dres

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:


Venus Petrov wrote:

Dres:  I understand and agree with your sentiments.  Body scent is separate from pheromones.  I do not wish to confuse thread readers.

You're right.  Sometimes I forget some people need a little extra help.

@Perrie: Mix that with some coconut and rum and I'm right there with you... lol.

...Dres

A new twist eh?  Alcoholic protein shake :matte-motes-big-grin-wink:

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Ima Rang wrote:


Dresden Ceriano wrote:


Venus Petrov wrote:

Dres:  I understand and agree with your sentiments.  Body scent is separate from pheromones.  I do not wish to confuse thread readers.

You're right.  Sometimes I forget some people need a little extra help.

@Perrie: Mix that with some coconut and rum and I'm right there with you... lol.

...Dres

A new twist eh?  Alcoholic protein shake :matte-motes-big-grin-wink:

emoticons_smilies_8.gif

...Dres *has been known to get his protein from an alcoholic from time to time*

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See what you're saying is totally right, because you're into keeping healthy and the 500lb man obviously is not, you would have to think "What do we have in common?" that's the bases of a relationship. If in sl you guys met in a group for rock music and you had the same taste in music then that would be something that you have in common and maybe a reason why you liked him, or maybe he is really a nice guy, but you can't just say looks don't matter. Maybe if you yourself were 500lbs and had no teeth you might connect. But the fact is looks DO matter, its animal instinct telling us what good genetics the other person has so that your offspring aren't mutated monsters. 


Ima Rang wrote:


Jo Yardley wrote:

Send someone an ugly photo showing someone else sounds like a great plan to check if the other party is shallow and cares about appearance too much.

So one persons dishonest act to determine shallowness, is more acceptable that of the other  persons dishonesty to prevent crushing someones self-esteem? 

I don't think it is shallow for someone to say, I'm not physically attracted to you.  I am very into fitness, and healthy eating and appreciate a well taken care of smile, I can imagine that if a man that I was interested in sent me a pic and he weighed 500 lbs and had but a single tooth in his face, that while I might want to keep him as a friend and continue to enjoy the parts of our connection that were appealing, I could not and should not have to look past issues that are physically and sexually unappealing in order to be considered a person of depth.


 

 

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