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Jasmyn Vaher

The SL I knew seems to have changed ...

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After a long time being in a monogamous relationship, besides very involved in creating stuff, thus not socializing much; I have stepped into a social side of SL that looks more and more foreign to me.

On one hand, there’s an overpopulation of which I have dubbed as “Hardcore RL’s” (Both recent and old residents) Almost right after we meet, they already want to exchange RL names, age, location, RL pictures, even do voice and cam, (Not necessarily for sexual purposes, just to hear and see the RL person behind the av.) Also, they don’t think that stuff like enjoying the creative side of SL and having a well trimmed avatar does matter to make the whole SL experience all more enjoyable (Yet which leads them to strike a conversation with me in the first place is my very cute av)

And then...we have a diff “faction” One that seems even worse…creepier if you ask me. I have nicknamed them “Exclusivists”  People that literally would not tolerate that I may have other SL friends  to chat and hang around with …and don’t get me wrong: The people starting a conversation with me are almost all guys; sure; but I am not looking for a romantic relationship atm. And I think that I am very clear about it.  I am just looking to meet nice new people to chat , dance and hang around with. But TWICE in this same month I have chatted with two guys that have clearly stated to me that they would not be willing to share  me  with the rest of my acquaintances/ long time friends…which of course grants them  an instant kick in their virtual, idiotic  arses.

Thankfully, amidst of all this unpleasant kind of  people, I have meet someone who’s totally worth to share  many great whiles with…but even so…I keep feeling more and more out of place in SL.

Ok...enough moaning. It was just a pointless rant. Feel free to comment and share your thoughts on the matter or even a laugh or two.

Hugs everybody

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Oh I sooo know what you mean. Men thinking up all kinds excuses for you to give them voice, pics and cam. Most heared is: "I want to know if I'm playing with a real woman"

They want to get your skype info and are dissapointed when you have Skype under your avatars name with just another pic of your avi. :matte-motes-evil:

Personally I don't care if there is a male or female behind whatever avi I meet. SL is my escape from RL.. then why should I invite RL back in to this game?

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ad about those Exclusives
Lately I meet more and more men profiling themselves as Masters .. when they don't have a clue what RL BDSM is about. They are only interested in having their personal poseball hopper who is at their back and call and indeed do not leave room to have you meet and talk to others

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In the 5 years since I joined, I have seen pretty much anything you can imagine or have experienced in SL and in the end,  two things still hold true in ALL conditions.

 

  1. It's just a game
  2. It's whatever you make of it

As such, I find little productivity in moaning about people and how they act.  I do gripe about how SL is run as we have to but when it comes to other people, what they do and how they do it has no affect on my RL so, why should have any affect on my SL.

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Hello Aurelia

THIS:

"SL is my escape from RL.. then why should I invite RL back in to this game?"

 This question so much summarizes my pont!

about those 2  "exclusivist" I'd meet recently; Apparently; according their profiles groups or picks, they were not involved in BDSM, nor had them any Master tittle gravitating over their heads...they seemed to  just be "Titleless idiots" :matte-motes-silly:

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I have friends complaining about the drama they get in SL. Shouldn't be a surprise that those friends are very easy when it comes to passing around their RL info.. I know it's their choice and that it's their life's lesson maybe.. but their biggest complained is that the drama is about people who have their rl info start claiming them .. like they have made a commitement by sharing their information

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Your thread reminded me of a thread I'd opened several months ago (pre-looooooooooooooooong-ongoing SL break) and I went to see if I could find it. Not only did I discover that there are some posts which went unanswered by me, I see that the general theme is similar to yours. So, although my old thread dates back a good few months, I can confirm I was feeling pretty much the same as you. I've no objection to "getting real" - at all, actually, but I hate being pushed into it as if it was an obligation.

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I have been a resident since Feb 2007 and one of my best friends I met my second week in SL had both her RL photo in the 1st life tab and her myspace (remember that?) link on the 'web' page.  She, however, never insisted on anyone doing anything other than what they wished to do.  Refreshing, eh?

Stick with those who you enjoy and let the rest take care of themselves. 

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with a little (a lot) help of the MUTE button, second life is still enjoyable for me!!! :matte-motes-whistle: *meows*

PS. ... and I like the derender option too ..... (a lot)

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OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I COULDN"T POSSIBLY DISAGREE MORE WITH THIS STATEMENT!!!! :

 

>>> which of course grants them  an instant kick in their virtual, idiotic  arses

 

No no no no no...you're doing it wrong.  You need to rotate that object 180 degrees (think about it) 

 

 :manvery-happy:  hEY BB! gET ON CAM SO WE CN CYBER 4 REAL

:womanmad:  *KICK* 

:mansad:  OWWWWWW

:womanvery-happy:  LOLZ

 

</sarcasm>

 

I can't STAND both of the groups you've mentioned, they tend to have an attitude that their style of play is the only legitimate style of play for this game (or any other, for that matter).  And they do tend to be absolute control freaks, pushing their lonely needs on everyone around them.  I'm thinking of starting a therapist role-playing sim, just so I have some place to send 'em all grrrrr...

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Jasmyn Vaher wrote:

Thankfully, amidst of all this unpleasant kind of  people, I have meet someone who’s totally worth to share  many great whiles with…but even so…I keep feeling more and more out of place in SL.

 

I don't see why you are calling these people unpleasant.  Many people come on SL for different reasons,  and all these people have different personalities.  While many people think of SL as fantasy, some people like using SL as an extention of their RL or even just a tool.  Heck, LL even promotes the use of Facebook, which is required to use a real life persona instead of using your SL avatar as a profile.  As for the whole exclusive thing....that's just how some people are.  Some perfer a small group of friends or a mate that they.  If you have a problem with these kind of people, then perhaps you should point all these things out before starting any kind of friendship; it would save you a lot of headaches.

 

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Though the "RL’ers" are not “my cup of tea” I can understand your point; in any case; when I say unpleasant, I refer particularly to the exclusivists kind of people; It’s  rather  annoying to be told by someone “waves good bye” just because in the first FIVE minutes of a FIRST  talk I have mentioned to him that I quite often spend nice whiles  talking and hanging around with a girl friend of mine, so sorry for generalizing…anyhow, regarding your advice;  I am not used (Up to date) to carry  an initial conversation as follows:

Mr Exclusivist. Hello

Jasmyn Vaher Hello

Mr Exclusivist How are you?

Jasmyn Vaher. Good thank you. Btw. If you want to be my only friend here, and your wish is to make me drop like a stone anyone I may be with; or anything I may be doing as soon as you log in, don’t bother  talking me further, please.

If this is the approach I have to take with that kind of people, sorry, but I cannot find a better definition for them, other than unpleasant people.

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No no no no no...you're doing it wrong.  You need to rotate that object 180 degrees (think about it) 

YOU...

ARE...

TOTALLY...

RIGHT :smileyvery-happy:

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Yep...all in its right time. I have shared RL pics, my email addy, my RL name and  personal info with a small number of people. But never right from the start. It has always come naturally, as the friendship evolved

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People circa 2003-2004: Wierd fun, new world....lets all build it till we can upload our minds to it!!!!! Creative fun!

People Circa 2004-2008: Creative, odd....gosh, insane! Money...ok, I can use some so lets try this biz stuff. ASHNE is a millionaire, so can I be one tooo...I will buy lands everywhere!

People in their 20s loggin in these days: College, work issues with debt looming, need a significant other, need a bady, need a 3 bedroom 2 bath home, need a new car, need a new applience, need to get drunk, need to see movie because you boring avatars and sim are not fun for more than 20 minutes....goodbye.

All of this is not entirely my opinion, I got all this from blogs, news and stats I read lol. I don't really know, but mainstream will not be the same as the wierd people that all signed up early on. I say that BUT, there are some among all of those who will be really fun people I bet. I am not a fun person really, I avoid people and choose only to communicate on the forums here. It is slower and less hurtful, sad really. But who cares? No one. THey have facebook ads to make, drama lamma emo fests to publish, women or men to hunt for sex, marriage or just pleasing themselves feeling like they "still have it!" and flirt etc.

I don't fit in much really anywhere, I have no jobs for you, I have no cute freinds for you try to have sex with, I might be slightly protective and if you think knowing RL info is important...I need to know you for years to trust you...you where not part of a pre adult history with me...so youare suspect!!! Yes, to those who think trust is knowing ASL...your methods are sloppy, not good enough for me...you  are all untrustworthy and an emersing person or a person with pheudo anonymity seems like less of a con person to me than you do!!!

So, while people laugh and feel judged by the people wanting to know your bra size, your real life sex, where you live and work.....if you are sexable or not....just remember....they are not good enough for you, which is why they don't feel right and feel accused. The people who dont ASL to everyone at every moment are basically seen as snobs!!! We are the mighty hands that control thierlives as them and thier freinds are left to the cruel world we control while we hide our identities as celebrities hide in mansions on hills! We are the unseen hand, the manipulators of the world....we are the powefully old ladies who own the biggest house in town and control the mayor with a string attached to his noddiing head...y"yes, you are right..we will do this as you ask" he says as we use them ALL like puppets...we control the jooz, the banks and we even change the damn color on thier bills JUST TO MAKE THEM THINK THERE WAS A MISTAKE!!! We kill them with stress, and even if stress doesn't killl.....we make the news stories and write the press releases to make them worry about it anyway!!! We control skeletor AND HEMAN in a endless conspiracy to....make the trash bag freaking leak on thier floooorssss!!!!!1 MWahhhahahahahahaaha.

We are so poweful, here with our avatars and our secret genitalia in secret locations.......yes, so powerful....we can even post here and say we made your windshield covered in bird poop via electronically controlled birds!!!!! And there is NOTHING....nothing you can do about it!!! Oh, yeah....we are THAT important to know about!!!

"Who are you!!1 What did you do to my chilidog you bastard!!" I hear screaming out in a sim somewhere...I simply MUTE. And the suffering continues...minute. By. Minute. As long as I do one thing...don't tell you my ASL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAH hahha amwahhhhhhhahahahhahAHHAHHHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHuuuuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wahahahAHAHAHAHA

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a few examples:

him: Hi
me: Hi
him: I am an artist
me: nice
him: I am looking for a sub, wanna be my slave?



her (mistress whatever): Hi
me: hi
her: you are cute, make me your owner



her: hi
me: hi
her: wear a skirt for me and kneel down


him: I like your avi, how about some fun?
me: why not ...
him: can you voice? I can't RP when I am not sure about the gender


her (after having talked quite a bit): I really would like you to play with you, but I only take RL girls, go voice


him (at a newbie area, when I saw myself only as a cloud in my second week): can you see yourself now?
me: yes, thanks a lot
him: now go to the sound tab in your settings
me: okay
him: activate the button next to voice
me: why?
him: just do it
me: I don't think that the voice has something to do with how I see my avi ...
him: I knew you are male
(I met this guy a few times later on in bdsm related ares wiht female avis on the leash, none of them older than a few weeks)


him (after my refusal to go voice): I just figured, you are male


her: proove me you are not a male and voice with me



I think I should make a male alt and note that it is voice approved :D


It's not only guys with master/sir/whatever in their name that can be really annoying, I stumble over girls with mistres/miss/madame or whatever in their name lately.

While the man named as described above generally are happy when they have some buttons to click and don't feel any need to RP or even talk at all, the girls with the same naming convention are quite strict when it comes to claim their power.

It's not only man that ultimately want a voice approval of your gender, the worst in that aspect was a girl who kicked me out of their friendlist reasoning "no voice, no friendship", what happened shortly after I refused her offer to buy more stuff from her shop.

I am still young in SL and don't know how it was earlier, but I recognize some of the stuff said in earlier posts.


The mute button is a nice feature, I completely agree, but what makes me sad is that I had to use it exclusively for older avatars, and some of my worst experiences in SL are also caused by old residents.

It may be true that SL has changed, but it's wrong to blame new residents, it's mostly young residents I have the most fun with (not only, my wife is almost 4 years old and we enjoy our time together).

Maybe SL hasn't changed that much, but maybe the perception changes when you are away of it for a while.

@Aurelia: take your time to play with the guys/girls named master/mistress/whatever, it's fun when they realize that they are stuck with a name that makes others laugh :)

Sorry for going a bit off topic, but I had to reply since I recognized some of the statements made in this thread.


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It's not just the men.  I have male friends who've met girls like this.  Scary as hell

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes Yes Yes.... My goodness yes.. "Will you move in with me" , "will you call me",  girlfriend I love you dearly but you scare the hell out me..

I have met and know both  groups in the OPO. but there is a limit to my RL privacy, that will not be intruded upon..

Always think of Glen Close in "Fatal Attractioin" and boiling bunny.. shivers

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About the voice thing...you can train your voice AND use software...both make it a bit hard. NO, not the built in SL software. You could use another one and tweak it with your own impersonation trained. I mean, I have never tried this, but I know the software exists and have seen it. It can get rather advanced with you training you brain to change your accent and everything. You don't even need the software if you train!

I saw this stuff way back when I was reading something about a cross dresser lol He had all these links, and bam...training to change your voice! Combine this with software if you have a deep voice and you can sound like a women. Turn down the volume or step back from the mic and talk soft....bam, they don't hear any digital tell tale signs! Not that I know of many, I don't do this myself.

But, this is fun to think about. So many think they can tell....they will want to do video chat next, now they have read this post lol.

Heck, even if they see you...you could be a cross dresser or a first time drag for fun! See the body parts? All that can be faked, surgery or just hidden and you play shy!!! What is a girl supposed to do? Menstruate on camera and have a docter present to do a exam to verify you have a womb and ovaries? Heck, for all I know they will be growing wombs in jars (as they do bladders and soon other organs...even kidneys! Fascinating proccess with a framework thingy they grow it all on!) and...heck, then they might even be able to get pregnant and where born a normal full XY male! You will need to get a genetic test on thier bodies cells to tell! Find out their genome or something lol.

Maybe they will hire a docter that is a notary and have him check your claims, inspect you and also verify if you genome is on file with a reputable genetics company. Then, he will have the women and the dude sign forms and notirize it and LL will 'Sex Genetics On File' your account! lol. Crazy stuff man, crazy.

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The Lab is attracting more of the kinds of people they've been courting since M's reign of terror; the FaceTwit  social networking crowd who have no concerns about privacy, see no distinction between SL and RL and who use SL as a 3-D chatroom. I've never seen so many people freely posting their RL details in their profiles or picks. Scanning their profiles many of them make it clear that they primarily communicate via IM,  and don't monitor local chat. I've started getting back into the social scene after almost a year and even in crowded venues there's almost no one typing in local. When I ask a host or owner why it's so quiet I get the answer "everyone's in voice" or "people are IMing".

Seems to me that it's getting harder to meet people who like keeping RL and SL separate. Maybe that's the new order of things in SL. Personally I liked things better the old way when there was wonder and a bit of mystery.

I've always interacted with people as they present themselves via their avatars. I don't care who or what they are in RL. Who am I to demand that the cute little female blue pixie reveal to me that in RL she's a 60 year old man who sells insurance for a living and has a latex fetish?

 

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My experiance is a little different to the ones that are mentioned here. First: Most people I meet are friendly beings with no bad intentions who just want to chat a little, dance or even just want to know where I brougth my dress.

The master/slave questions are familiar to me, but I noticed that it depends on what I'm wearing. Questions about being a mistress to someone do I only get when I'm walking around with my demon avatar.....Questions about being a sub do I only get when I wear something that could be a collar.....(I'm just wearing fashion things....none of them will do what a real collor can). But its quite anoying seeing someone tried to touch it :smileyindifferent:

To the RL thing: Never had issues with that. No one asked me for voice or cam or pics....

I have no idea why I haven't made so many bad experiances like others :o

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I can only cheer to that Deei! That's how I feel about it. And I even take it a bit further myself. Even the people who I play with on more adult settings, I really don't give a d***n if it's a guy playing with a female avi, or a woman playing with a male avi. The game is called second life and not "my first life pixelized" If there is a click with someone in this game it's because we have stuff in common, we RP well or whatever .. so who then cares about who is moving that avatar friend you like so much.

I only recently started to use voice because I wanted to. But most of my time in SL I spend in silence. On several occasions (all during visits to adult sims) I've been asked to proof that I'm really a female. Because only then they wanted to RP with me (and the funny thing is that the people asking it did not have a mic to proof their gender) I refused of course ... next thing I knew my name was passed around with the message "She is really a guy in RL"  I just laughed.. really how pathetic and insecure van one be? If you want to be sure you are dealing with a RL woman, don't try and meet them on SL (see previous post from someone else about voice altering)  but actually go outside to meet real people!

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Sounds a lot like Real Life to me.  You meet people who you want to associate with and people you don't want to associate with. 

The bad part is, while SL can amplify someone's awesome, it can also amplify someone's dreadfulness.

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Chelsea Malibu wrote:

In the 5 years since I joined, I have seen pretty much anything you can imagine or have experienced in SL and in the end,  two things still hold true in ALL conditions.

 
  1. It's just a game
  2. It's whatever you make of it

How very well said!

 

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