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Is this considered "wrong?"


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I was wondering if this is considered "wrong":

I am extremely new to SL. I play World of Warcraft and my guildies keep talking about it, so I figured "why not?" so far, it's fun, but really glitchy. Anyway, one of my guildies was talking about thier SL relationship like it was real. Like, they were really dating. I thought it woukd be cool to have a SL romance, but not on that level. I RP, so my toon is NOTHING like me. Is it ok to just RP a romance and not give out personal details and stuff? I'm not looking for a RL relationship. Or are people on here for a RL relationship?
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Considered wrong by whom? Everything is considered wrong by somebody out there, which means that other people's opinions don't make a very good moral compass.

If something is legal, it's probably not wrong, unless it greatly hurts somebody's feelings. And even if it's illegal, it doesn't have to be wrong if it doesn't harm anybody. That's the only moral compass you need.

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I guess what I'm trying to ask is, with so many people taking SL relationships so seriously, is it considered impolite to have an RP romance with no real feelings involves on my end. Or is that cruel?

 

On one hand, it's just a game and you have to assume you know nothing of the person behind the toon. I use this upproach in WoW although I am 99% sure I know who my good guildie friend is, I have to assume on some level she isn't who ahe says she is. And that's ok. It wouldn't bother me that a 20 yr old blonde toon is really some 55 year old fat guy.

 

On the other hand, I have to understand that there are people on here who take thier SL relationships very seriously and these people may get hurt to find out I'm not wanting a real relationship.

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Yes, some will consider it wrong. It is best to clear this out before any relationships - "We are SL only? I am not looking for anyone to meet in RL".

Even if you are clear about it, some will say ok and change their mind... Maybe dream up a romantic story and read what you roleplay as "proof" that you feel the same. But you can not be hold responsible for that, as long as you don't start to agree "Yes, what if we cold meet in RL... I don't love my hubby as I love you... our relationship is dead, I should have meet you first". Bad, bad idea.

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Thank you for your reply. I am in a RL relationship and we've talked about me rping. He's even seen me play and I play on my laptop in the family room so he can watch anytime. He has set boundries (no simulated sex, ect.) that I completley understand. I don't hide anything from him.

 

Truthfully, if I could create a "boyfriend" bot, I would lol. We can create babies in SL, why not boyfriends? lol

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My approach to SL is like yours; for me, it's a RP game.  When problems arise is when it's a RP game for one and a real relationship for the other.  The latter gets hurt when she realizes that the former doesn't share her feelings, and the former, if she is a decent person, feels bad, too.  It took me a year or so and  experiences when I hurt a couple of good friends by not having feelings for them like they had for me to understand this.

One thing I now do is to make it clear in my profile that I am not looking for a relationship and that RL and SL are completely separate for me.  I think that helps, but, human emotions being what they are, they don't guarantee that no one will ever fall for more than my avatar.  If I ever seem to be getting into anything more serious than a very casual relationship in SL in the future, I intend to have a brief OOC discussion to make sure that there is no misunderstanding about where things are not going to go.  In other words, since it's RP for me, follow RP conventions about establishing limits.  I advise you to do the same.

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the difference between WOW and Second Life is that here you are not required to roleplay a character, many people are themselves, just like when they use Facebook they arent roleplaying a character, so, since for some people their avatar is reflecting exactly who they are in real life, their feelings are real too, they are not interested in roleplay, and they only can be themselves, so if you get into a relationship with those persons, you are getting for real.

its better to point out that you are roleplaying in Second Life if thats how you see it, so the "real" people dont get into a relationship with your character.

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qpmomma wrote:

I was wondering if this is considered "wrong":

 

I am extremely new to SL. I play World of Warcraft and my guildies keep talking about it, so I figured "why not?" so far, it's fun, but really glitchy. Anyway, one of my guildies was talking about thier SL relationship like it was real. Like, they were really dating. I thought it woukd be cool to have a SL romance, but not on that level. I RP, so my toon is NOTHING like me. Is it ok to just RP a romance and not give out personal details and stuff? I'm not looking for a RL relationship. Or are people on here for a RL relationship?

The fact you've asked the question shows you have a conscience and are likely to consider a person's feelings when roleplaying with them. 

To some people, the "dating" is very real, and some even take it out into real life and it actually succeeds (although it often fails long before it gets to that stage). 

I'd advise being honest with a person you're roleplaying with, and don't get sucked into spending hours and hours with that person in Second Life, or they'll just come to the conclusion you don't have a real life, and the delusion of a "real" relationship risks developing.

I wish you loads of luck and fun times. Second Life can be an incredible adventure. 

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From what I've seen, it's more common for people to get emotionally involved on some level in their SL relationships than it is for them to be just role-playing the whole time. With this possibility in mind, I think it's very important to be clear right from the start about what you want, put that in your profile, & repeat it to anyone who shows an interest. I doubt WoW has much of the kind of relationship drama SL has, so you'll probably be happier if you avoid it.

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Canoro Philipp wrote:

the difference between WOW and Second Life is that here you are not required to roleplay a character, many people
delude themselves into thinking they
are themselves, [...]

FIFY :) I don't think anybody is really themselves in SL, if only for the fact that none of us is a little textured polygon doll without wrinkles, periorbital dark circles, male pattern baldness and combover hairstyles, pot bellies, scoliosis, hammer toe, or halitosis.

Even if all that was possible in SL, self perception is a funny thing. I've met a few people who claimed that their avatar looked just like themselves, but when they eventually posted or sent me a photo, there was very little resemblance. I mean, they kind of got the hair and skin color right, but that was about it.

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Pep wrote:

@Jacki: They may have a heart but you should also remember that they are probably lying through their teeth . . .

 

Pep ( . . . and will probably take advantage of you without a second thought.)

 

That phrase comes to mind "We don't see others as they are; we see them as we are".



 

 

 

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>>Truthfully, if I could create a "boyfriend" bot, I would lol. We can create babies in SL, why not boyfriends? lol <<

Why can't you?

I created an alt & have run them at the same time. Both my reg avy & my alt are female, but I have them dancing together sometimes. You're perfectly capable of creating a "boyfriend" this way. Why not?

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You can run two accounts on one computer. You just launch your viewer, log in, minimize it, launch the viewer again and log in with a different account. You might have to go into properties and add "-multiple" at the end of the target path but I noticed that I don't need it with V2.

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

"That phrase comes to mind "We don't see others as they are; we see them as
we
are".

And yet none of us see ourselves (or in some cases ourselves, plural) as we really are.  So do we see other people as we
 think
we are or as other's experience us as we truly are?

I don't know. I have delusion disorder so everyone and everything is just a fig biscuit of my imagination anyway.





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>>I thought about creating another account for that reason, but, I only have one comp. Can I run 2 accounts on one comp<<

Yes.

I only have one computer also. At first I was reluctant to try it because I doubted that my DSL had sufficient bandwidth to run sl twice. But I tried it and it worked! Created a 2nd avi, took both of "me" to a club and danced with myself! Kept switching back & forth from one avi's perspective to the other's. No reason you couldn't create a boyfriend for yourself in this way. Might be handy, to keep guys from hitting on you. You could even partner with yourself, I suppose.

EDIT: I just thought of something. I bought the Mama Allpa female HUD but my sl boyfriend thinks it's stupid, doesn't want to hear anything about where I am in my cycle, and isn't about to spend $L on the male version. I could create a male avi, buy the male HUD for him, and since we're both "me," I could have the Immaculate Conception! Wonder if my bf would believe me, when I turned up pregnant, that I was the father of my own baby? LoL

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