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Nacy Nightfire

If you had to spend all your time alone in SL would you stay?

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Hmm, very interesting question. Back when I started with SL, I had no idea what to do. I usually asked to other avatars, but most of them were as newbie as I was or were too busy on their own bussiness, so they paid me little to none attention. Since my main goal on SL was (and still is) to become a builder, I gradually met friends on classes and sandboxes. In a nutshell, at the begining, my SL had little social contact.

After a long pause of my SL due to RL schedule conflicts, I came back but, to my surprise, most of my old contact of my list never came back to SL. On the other hand, I realized I became more social on this SL "rebirth", meeting anumber of new friends. Long story short: When my friends don't appear, I just park my avie in a sandbox and build, like the old times! 

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I've spent a long time on Second Life, of which I have only lost one friend in...3 Years I'd say. I'm still going strong. And yes, I would leave if I had to. I pretty much use SL for Roleplay and Social Hangouts. Without others, what kind of 'life' is that?

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       I found quality time with myself or another alt, getting more alone time . I enjoy the quiet time I have in SL. Acutally even more then talking to my "friends" I like going into some of the groups chats and helping out the new residents..  Also instead of going dancing I have found myself taking classes.. Evolving, perhaps.? Anyways I enjoy my "me time" I have in sl..  So if I don't repsond right away it does not mean I don't love you it just means I am busy with me..

 

Happy Moday everybody

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You wrote: "Without others, what kind of 'life' is that?"

Perhaps the name Second Life is a misnomer. For educational institutions and people who do business here, it's not a "Second Life" at all.  It's very much part of RL.

Folks on the forums in the past have been all "up in arms" about people calling Second Life a game.  I think they need to get over themselves in how rabid they are on this point, but I partly agree in that SL is first a platform from which lots of games and many other things can be created "Your World...yadi yadi yada".

When you say without others, what kind of 'life' is that?, you are projecting your own personal usage and needs of a virtual world on to others why may have polar opposite, desires thoughts and ideas.  Personally, I do need a bit of social interaction, but I get more then I need of that in RL so I come to SL for solitude and to be creative. I've gone the route of socializing in SL and although it was rewarding at the time, FOR ME, I found it a bit problematic for many reasons, not the least of which it required too much time away from RL to keep it going.  So as friends drifted away from SL  I just closed "shop" and use SL mostly as a creative venue.  Perfectly valid use of the platform.

I have noted from the beginning of my time in SL that in the profiles of many designers/creators I've admired have stated they have no interest in socializing and they do not maintain a "friends list".  These are extreme introverts, who use all their time in SL making it a more beautiful place visually, and they are satisfied with their experience.  This is a valid choice.  It's not sad or to be pitied. There's nothing lacking in these people, they are who they are and that's great.  And they contribute enormously to Second Life.

Edited to correct misspellings, clarify etc.

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I started out frighteningly social, peeking into everything, jumping on every poseball, chit chatting with anyone who poked me... that lasted for two days :o

Then I sobered up from the winter holiday splurge that got me started and I learned some animation tricks... now I spend the majority of my time 'working' alone in the 'Beta Grid' (you're really pretty much alone there and it's very quite).  But I always come back to the real, and pleasantly social SL, because everything I'm making and everyone I'm working with are real people who are really fun to be around.  It's just nice to have the option to flip the noisy or quite switch.

So short answer:  I'd stay if I were all alone because the 'creation' is therapy, but it's more fulfilling and rewarding when you share and know others enjoy the effort.

Enjoy yourselves, even if you're alone ;)

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I was very lucky because the first time I visited sl I made some wonderful friends, who graciously invited me to make myself at home on their private island. The island has some amazing features which are fun to explore, alone or with others. I doubt that I've even found them all yet. Sometimes there are great parties on this island but often when I log in, I am alone there. I don't mind being alone on the island as it gives me time for exploring, working on my looks, opening objects, organizing my inv, etc. (BTW, I really wish I could work on my inv from my browser. It takes lots of time & my inworld time is precious.) But sometimes I get lonely, alone on this island. I always look forward to my friends popping in and when they don't, I sometimes tp to clubs & other places I find w/ 'search.'

So I don't really mind being alone in sl but I also like meeting ppl and chatting with & learning from my friends. I also have a sl "boyfriend," who was basically the first guy who interacted with me and who maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to get into a relationship with. I've brought him to my other friends' island when they weren't there but I'm kinduv reluctant to introduce him to the island's owners. They are so very cool & nice & sophistocated whereas he's kinda crude. There's been times when I was trying to figure out how to do something, chatting w/ my friends & being IMed incessantly by my bf. I get kinda stressed when too much is going on at the same time. So I guess there's a happy medium somewhere between total isolation & being overwhelmed by social contact in sl.

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Even if my 4 friends and this handful of acquaintances will quit SL now, I will log in and be just as happy. I am the only reason I am in SL! Everyone I know I've met AFTER I joined. Except for my best RL friend, I knew him for 26 years when he joined SL (a couple of months after when I just started my 2nd Second Life). But even when he should leave I would stay. Because I am still here for me. Creating and wandering around. 2 things that can be done alone very well! And if I am alone long enough I probably would learn to chat with myself too :smileyvery-happy:

 

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

I wonder how many other folks, if they found their IM/chat/voice  permanently turned off would still stick around and be happy completely by themselves, building , sightseeing, etc.  


I'm alone 90% of the time, so that wouldn't be a problem. SL has never been a social place for me.:)

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I'd be perfectly content in a SL without IMs and just Local Chat. In many ways I find IMs intrusive and distracting. I rarely initiate a conversation in IM and given a choice between speaking in IM or in Local Chat will always choose the latter.

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i don't have anyone on my friends list anyways.... i'm still new to second life. i did join second life to have a social experience so if it got turned off... i'd be sad.

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

You wrote: "Without others, what kind of 'life' is that?"

<snip>

When you say without others, what kind of 'life' is that?, you are projecting your own personal usage and needs of a virtual world on to others why may have polar opposite, desires thoughts and ideas.

Nacy, I wonder how much trouble projection causes here. It's awfully easy to project (even easier online, where there's less reality filling the screen) and I can't imagine it's terribly helpful. I see this kind of comment every day and it puzzles me. I could very easily imagine perfectly sensible people who, upon hearing that I spend time in SL, wonder what kind of life I have. Frankly, I wonder too!

If everybody were social, I wonder if anything would get done here. In my previous SL life, which lasted 2.5 years, I had a half dozen friends and spent most of my time with my companion or alone. I had many interesting, lengthy, one-on-one conversations, built and scripted a great many things and was quite content. When that life ended, I left SL for a bit, then returned. This time I have fifty people on my friends list. I have almost no time for building because I'm constantly socializing. I rarely have conversations of any depth and, in all honesty, I'm less content. What kind of life is that?

Well, it's my kind of life, isn't it? I've tried two different ways of living in SL and don't regret either one. If there's a third way to live here, maybe I'll try that someday too.

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Maddy,

That was an great read..  And exactly my point.  Projection is the root of everything.  And projection = taking it personally and suffering from SELECTIVE hypersensitivity.

Even folks here with a fairly good sense of humor will be upset or even enraged by a remarks made someone else (particularly strangers whose expressions we can't watch carefully) if it hit's a nerve.  So frequently conversation and intent are so frequently misread that some people just find it easier to enjoy SL  creatively and alone and not spend time sorting all that out. I'm a social person in RL, I've had a lot of past fun socially in SL,  but I find limits to direct conversation in SL problematic.  But that's just my experience and it's really great to hear people report on their own.

As an example,  I'll point out here that there are posters to the forums here who suffer from social or physical disabilities, which perhaps they've discussed far in the past on these forums.   And the friends of the posters with these limitations will believe they are entitled to a "pass"  and special consideration. But, its generally NOT assumed by the same gang that any other new poster here has a similar condition. And they are not consistently sensitive caring souls, they are hypocrites. They do not  tailor their  own conversations be respectful of that possibility in all other posters to this forum.   Nor do they take into account, despite their superior intellect, that the  information of someone's social disability is that is not something newer posters are clued in on and few of us have the time read back from the beginning of forum history and therefor what may be an insensitive remark to a particular poster is not done in malice.

These folks and their friends selectively gang up with each other, create funny names for people they hope will be catchy,  and group pounce on their victims who they haven't offered their very special club card. (I know this has been said before in the past on this and every other forum, sorry to have to be so tediously repetitive) Under the guise of having a heroic mentoring presence in SL  as well as a smug self-impressions they are superior yet caring individuals, these are those same forum masters then feel their main purpose here is to silence posters they deem are stupid or contemptible, or just silly. And then they squalk all about their self-important contributions to this forum and SL when their own precious posts are pulled or they or their friends aren't treated with respect they claim to have earned.

I've won the hilarious snarky award for Troll of the Week on the Forum Confidential blog.  The purpose for my award was two-fold.  The regulars there decided 2 people needed to be silenced.  Myself, thus the award, and the person I apologized to here on the forum.  This is a transparent move to 1)  make my own posts and the sincerity of my previous apology suspect to all  and 2) to continue picking on the other poster using well let's just say it's "high school" antics where is considered humorous to bully the less "popular" , less witty,  and one they brand less "intellectually fortunate".  And when you gang up with your friends to do it.now that's a great bit of  after school fun. Ignoring someone is never an option apparently.

And how did I respond in the "comment" section of the FC blog to my award?  With grace and humor, I hope.  However don't misread that I have any interest in joining up with any factions here.  I post as my own self.

Edited to make a few corrections. I've had m any RL interruptions while constructing these thoughts.

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Thats good. a project is more important to do. im quite happy also just to explore new things in SL game without chatting maybe in 1 hour or a bit more. like sightseeing, travellling to many places, or maybe just to mix the clothes, see the dancing style and sex style the game has to offer. it could be a good recommendation in real life. anyway you can socialize in real life, its more fun

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Do it all the time by choice, or if no one is on.  But I love to explore.  Sometimes I even act all explorerish in other games, such as Guild Wars.  Guild Wars's graphics totally pwn SL, especially the Asian-themed Cantha, and any area with a beach or snowy mountain;  The nice thing about SL, though, is I can wander without having to worry about being attacked by those damned bird-men that run on their tippy-toes... :womanvery-happy:

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Yes because I came here to build. then I started making many "friends" and dropped out of building! Now I realised that I just spent my precious time over what? Fake people mostly who are bored, who always complain about their irrelevant SL drama to me and waste my time. I dont need people in SL to function. I can entertain myself alone too. For example I could go to a club and lsiten just to the music, be on this forum, build, script, research mesh content, be creative!

Thats so much funner then IM-ing, hanging out on SL facebook and so on...Honestly people in SL mostly bring me hedache, even my good friends sometimes, they just complain and want advices and IM when they mostly need something!

I waste my time rather socialasing and meeting RL people then the ones over internet

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I've been wrestling with your question for I think three years now at this point.

I still have something like 60 people on my friends list from '07-'08 after several cleanups, and maybe 4 of them have been on since that I've noticed. All my close friends, dancing associates, etc. are gone. And I had a lot of them. My entire SL life was spent surrounded by friends and lovers.

Then I went away for 2009 because of drama. I've been trying to recapture what Sl was for me ever since, but I just don't have the...emotional energy to start over and make new friends/join new scenes, etc. I've tried.

And so things have gone from what they were, to logging in only to landscape my houses and sail, to only logging in to shop which of course leads in turn to my only wearing my beautiful new clothes to go out shopping for new clothes.

I got sort of screwed over by my new estate owner, so the new house I set up a few months ago simply disappeared back into my inventory after it had just been there one 5 hour night's sleep earlier. No warning. So I can't even stand around in my living room and listen to music/model clothes, etc. I'm a nomad again, which I haven't been since my second day in-world.

The forums are what remains of my SL life now. Being in world is heart rendingly lonely (my drama flair 'flares'). I'm for all intents and purposes a bum sleeping on the dock at Ethereal Teal. In a dirty ballroom dress.

Isn't that just perfectly horrible?

So my answer to your question is...can I trouble you for a 5th of vodka on your way out of the store? It keeps me warm is all...:matte-motes-crying:

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Kascha,

Except for your unfortunate incident with your estate owner, I think our experiences have alot of similarities, including, I suspect, when we started here in SL.  And just like yourself in 2009 I also abruptly dropped out due to what might be called drama.  It was something that both saddened me and frankly frightened me a bit. 

When I eased back in I discovered that the point you drop out and take a break from SL, THAT is your "graduation".  You can come back, but you come back a changed person in relationship to your previous SL experiences. You can try to reinvent yourself, and I believe some do so successfully, but I've met many, many people who drift back  and go in and out trying to recapture the feeling and they can never quite achive that first experience.  Like first love, perhaps?

The difficulty is no one expects it to happen, we are not prepared for the loss, even if a friend or two warns us of the possibility.  There's a impression that we can stay youthful forever in SL, but , although we may can choose to stay young in appearance, we still age.  We gain in experience and  become  jaded and we reach the boundries of what entertains us.  Our friends come and go and many of us lose our enthusiasm to start over.   SL, has an expiration date for each of us, just like RL, and just like in RL it's different for us all.  We just never really are fully prepared for it.  I believe for many the SL Forums is the "processing center" back to RL.  Thank goodness RL is waiting for us.   RL is heavenly, a magical place.

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well.. i met a few friends in sl that i became very close too and they contact me all the time in sl even when im busy i always answer thier IM's now sometimes I'm alone wondering around the vast SL lands wating for my friends to log but sometimes its good to be alone just taking in all the sights goodway to make new friends or see new places but as for my few close friends i wouldnt leave sl unless they did

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If I had to spend all my time alone in SL I wouldn't be very happy and I would log in less often, but I'd probably still spend some time here.

I used to have a ready-to-run standalone sim, from Open Life.  That was a lonely experience but I did make it look nice and I built a few structures to go on it.  However it was lost in a computer crash and I've never been able to get the Open Sim standalone to work, that doesn't work 'out of the box' like the one I had.  

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