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Role Play Jokes thread


TriJin Bade
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A couple of dwarves, hunting in the Torn Oak woods with their crossbows.

Suddenly a beautiful, sexy succubus leaps from the tall branches and eyes them seductively.

"Well, well, my little pretties. Whatcha doin? she says.

"We're hunting game." replies one dwarf.

"Well, I'm game.", she replies.

... so they shot her.


I know you can do better, so let's see or hear em :)

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A barbarian walks into a tavern. A halfling is drinking at the bar, white -haired, and eighty years old if he's a day. The barabarian shoves him out of the way, and roars for a flagon of ale.

While the innkeeper is serving him, the halfling runs up behind the barbarian and starts hitting him in the shins with his walking-stick. The barbarian yells in fury and kicks the halfling clear across the room. As the halfling crumples in a broken, bloody heap in the corner, the barbarian returns to to the bar and waits for his drink.

The minute he turns his back, the halfling is back on his feet. He charges the barbarian, screaming, and starts whacking him over and over with his stick. The barbarian stands, enraged, and draws his axe. With one bloody swing he lays the halfling flat on his back and turns back to the bar.

As the innkeeper places his ale on the bar, the barbarian is surprised to hear the halfling climb to his feet and start swinging his stick. He turns once more, grabs the halfling bodily and beats him to a bloody pulp. Finally, he throws the broken body down and plants his axe in its head. Turning to the innkeeper he says,

"I must be losing my touch... Who'd have thought it would take me three goes to finish off one white-haired old short-arse?"

"Well, you know what they say", says the inkeeper...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Old hobbits die hard!

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One of my favourites has always been Houseplants of Gor. It's silly and pokes a little fun at the writing style commonly found in the books. It has the added bonus of being PG, but with... perhaps obvious parallels for those familiar with the concept :P

 

Houseplants of Gor

 

I'd post something I wrote myself but it would likely be "XXXX walks into a bar. Ouch!" :|

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