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I find the expression "I'm sorry"  to be interesting, as it can mean, for example:

1) I apologize.  I realize now I was wrong to say what I said, do what I did. I misunderstood the situation and/or I acted thoughtlessly, hastily and/or selfishly.  I recognize that and it was a "learning moment" for me.  I won't do it again.

2) I'm sorry you feel that way.  I stand by what I say or did, and I'd do it/say it again.  However  I understand it upset you.  I'm sorry you are upset.  Could I have done things different without compromising my values and integrity and not cause you pain and upset, I would.

3) I'm sorry I got caught.

4) I'm not sorry, I'm being sarcastic.  I'm really quite happy and amused that I got a rise out of you.

I don't see many people on the forums using the apologetic version of "I'm sorry" very often, although its often called for.  I have myself apologized on a few occasions, both for posting hastily and not taking the time to understand the person's intent , or more often for the 2nd reason.  I haven't used #3 since I was about 8 years old.  #4 isn't consistant with my idea of a good time.

I wonder why apologies are so absent here.  Is everyone always right?  Is being defensive and hostile a better response?  Is meanness and pettiness just more fun?  Do people fear in apologizing they are exposing themselves as weak and vulnerable?

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I've often wondered how anyone can go through life never apologizing or admitting they're in the wrong.  I imagine it must be a life of pure bliss.

And on a side note, wasn't it Demetri Martin who said '"I'm sorry" is the same as "I apologize".... except when you're at a funeral.'?

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Some people just can't admit when they're wrong or behaving in an inappropriate manner.  To these people saying I'm sorry is showing a sign of weakness.  This is something I don't agree with and I'm quick to issue an apology when I realize I've gotten something wrong or crossed a line. 

Of course, sometimes it takes a while before I come to that realization or come to the point that I'm willing to admit to myself that what I did or said was out of line.  I tend to apologize more for tone than content, because that's usually where I go wrong... like if I lash out at someone when I'm in a bad mood (as I did, most recently, in the Hippiestock thread). 

If I get some information wrong and someone points it out I usually apologize for my ignorance and thank them for enlightening me. 

I try not to post when I'm angry or post a reply immediately to someone that makes me feel defensive... I'd rather come back to it when I've calmed down a bit and can approach it more rationally.

So basically, you can say things that have merit, but if they are said in a negative or demeaning way you're effectively undercutting your own argument simply because of your tone... that's something I try to avoid in the first place.

...Dres (I hope this makes sense... again, the pain medication I'm on makes it difficult to formulate my thoughts into coherent statements.  It takes me forever to write the simplest things and even when I think I've made myself clear, I still can't really be sure.  Okay, I've started rambling... I'll shut up now... lol.)

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For me it usually means...

I'm sorry you are such a jerk

I'm sorry you now know that I not perfect

I'm sorry you are so stupid

I'm sorry but I'm not sleeping in the wet spot

I'm sorry that you feel that way and I'm sorry that you are such a sorry excuse for a man...sorry but you have to go now.

:matte-motes-sick:

 

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Janelle Darkstone wrote:

And on a side note, wasn't it Demetri Martin who said '"I'm sorry" is the same as "I apologize".... except when you're at a funeral.'?

Lol... when someone gives me bad news like one of their loved ones has died or they lost their job or something to that effect, I've been known to say, "I'm sorry to hear that."  This may seem like a benign statement but it could mean two totally different things... it could mean "I'm sorry that this happened to you and you are, therefore, having to tell me this" or "I'm sorry you're telling me this because I don't really care to hear about your personal problems."  So, yeah, sorry can mean different things in different contexts... it just depends.

Of course, we know what Elton John thinks about it...

...Dres

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Chelsea Malibu wrote:

For me it usually means...

I'm sorry you are such a jerk

I'm sorry you now know that I not perfect

I'm sorry you are so stupid

I'm sorry but I'm not sleeping in the wet spot

I'm sorry that you feel that way and I'm sorry that you are such a sorry excuse for a man...sorry but you have to go now.

:matte-motes-sick:

 

I'm sorry you feel that way. *runs off crying*... lol.

...Dres

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"  So, yeah, sorry can mean different things in different contexts... it just depends."

Yes in some situations its delightfully ambiguous.  Also as in I'm sorry (you ruined my day with YOUR bad news,  Now now MY happiness is ruined and the day looks bleak.  Thanks a pantload.)

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Chelsea Malibu wrote:

Noooo not you Dre!!

I'm sorry for overreacting.  (Actually, I was just being facetious... I apologize.)

...Dres  (I couldn't even try to run in my condition; even just crying would probably be painful atm. *pops another pill and pours himself a drink, hoping he won't be sorry for it later*)

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Chelsea Malibu wrote:

For me it usually means...

I'm sorry but I'm not sleeping in the wet spot

:matte-motes-sick:

 

If you use both sides of the bed then it is share and share alike.

Though this brings up am interesting point.  Why does the deed tend to happen on the woman's side of the bed?

 

/me has no objection to doing it on my side.

 

 

 

Emascultion 1.jpg

 

 

 

 

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"Though this brings up am interesting point.  Why does the deed tend to happen on the woman's side of the bed?"

Because 97.8798 percent of the time the man pounces first.  Sadly many men are physically built for speed, and are faster than women in many things.  :matte-motes-frown:

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

"Though this brings up am interesting point.  Why does the deed tend to happen on the woman's side of the bed?"

Because 97.8798 percent of the time the man pounces first.  Sadly many men are physically built for speed, and are faster than women in many things.  :matte-motes-frown:

I must be a slow old Fart then.  Maybe that's my problem.

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There is another meaning for 'I'm sorry' and it is one that I 'inherited' from my father.

"I'm sorry that happened."  As in expressing sympathy for something that happened but not as a result of anything one did or did not do to someone else.

E.g.,

Person A: "My house burned down last night."

Person B:  "I'm sorry." (to hear that)

Many times when I have expressed myself similarly, Person A will say 'It's not your fault.'   Well, of course it is not my fault, but I wish to express sympathy.  So, I have taken to saying something along the lines of 'That's unfortunate." which sounds so impersonal.

 

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Or, I'm sorry I read this OP.  

But I am not.  How can I ever apologize if I write nothing I see the need to apologize for?  I only write perfect posts.

Doesn't everyone feel as if they write the most perfect posts, too?  Not you Nacy, you have stated in your OP your 'willingness' to apologize; although I have never received one from you.  It's OK though; I am not gullible. 

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Em...you have a selective memory Storm.  I specifically remember apologizing to you when I attributed something you wrote referring to firing an employee for cheating, incorrectly.  There may be another instance as well.  Sorry to have to remind you.

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Re: is sl relationships cheating on rl relationships

06-03-2011 03:13 PM

I must have misunderstood your original post. 

You wrote: "I was not and will judge SL people who do not practice monogamy.  Although in RL I have.  I have terminated friendships with married male friends who carouse and womanize.  I have terminated an employee for the same reasons. "

Now I see there wasn't enough information in your post to make the "leap"  that I did in my post.  My apologies.

 ________________________________

Now how about a public apology to me, Storm, for trying to make me out to be a hypocrite?

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the words " I am sorry" is such a shallow phrase... "i am sorry for hitting you in the face." I'm sorry,I didn't mean to knock your teeth out" "I'm sorry for the black eye" .. Keep the sorry's I fI was any of the shallow expression just apologize with a smile and move on..

Music: Elton John
Lyrics: Bernie Taupin

 

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
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jennylongview Innovia wrote:

the words " I am sorry" is such a shallow phrase... "i am sorry for hitting you in the face." I'm sorry,I didn't mean to knock your teeth out" "I'm sorry for the black eye" .. Keep the sorry's I fI was any of the shallow expression just apologize with a smile and move on..


I respectfully disagree Jenny. I don't believe it's a shallow phase, if you mean it. I recently said "I'm sorry I got mad at you" to a collegue at work.  If I had of just apologised with a smile, I don't think it would have conveyed what I actually felt and what I felt obliged to do which was take ownership of the fact that I was in the wrong and I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on him, or anyone for that matter.

 

 

 

 

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How about these slightly different takes on the same thing?:

- I'm sorry for what I did

- I regret what I did

- I'm ashamed of what I did

- I'm embarrassed for what i did

- I apologize

 - I'm sorry

- Sorry about that.

A lot is conveyed in the expression and sincerity of the deliverer.  Just saying "I'm sorry or sorry about that" is too non-specific in meaning I think.  Whereas: I'm sorry for what I did..that's taking ownership.  As does "I apologize" or anything else that says "what I did/said/neglected to do".  It's not a real apology unless there's "ownership", and like others have posted, sorry has alot of different meanings, such as an expression of empathy/sympathy.

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