Kinda shy

[Awynn]

So far I haven't really talked with many people in SL. Conversations have been short, how are you, fine, I'm new, me too...one person even flew off at that point LOL! Anyway, I'm kinda shy in RL and not sure how to get past that in SL. I'm just looking for ordinary, nice people to share a few laughs, maybe explore some interesting places. Any advice? Or are there any places I should go to meet people?

[af41]

Hi. Many of us are shy. Surely that's one of the reasons we come into SL. 

I suggest you keep trying chatting people up. Only practice will make you feel more confortable and relaxed. 

Another suggestion is that you chat the opposite sex because if you chat your own sex, you might be taken for a gay/lesbian. Then again, if the later is the case, then go to places frequented by people with that orientation.

[af41]

latter*

[Hippie Bowman]

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Awynn wrote:

So far I haven't really talked with many people in SL. Conversations have been short, how are you, fine, I'm new, me too...one person even flew off at that point LOL! Anyway, I'm kinda shy in RL and not sure how to get past that in SL. I'm just looking for ordinary, nice people to share a few laughs, maybe explore some interesting places. Any advice? Or are there any places I should go to meet people?

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Hi Awynn!  Welcome to SL and to the SL forums!  Don't be shy!  Contact me Inworld if you wish!

 

Peace!

[Griffin Ceawlin]

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af41 wrote:

Another suggestion is that you chat the opposite sex because if you chat your own sex, you might be taken for a gay/lesbian.

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Are you saying that straight men and women don't talk to other men and women? Or are you talking about a particular brand of "chat"?

If the former, how insecure would those people have to be? "OMG, I shouldn't talk to him/her, someone might think I'm GAY!" :matte-motes-confused:

[Thinkerer Melville]

 

Hyles swamp in a designated chat area.  Try it out:

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Hyles/39/28/31 

TKR

[Perrie Juran]

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af41 wrote:

Another suggestion is that you chat the opposite sex because if you chat your own sex, you might be taken for a gay/lesbian.

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I sure as hell hope that this is not true or that it is the very very rare exception.

 

But I will make a general observation about SL.

Women will gab with women a lot...especially when the topic is clothes, especially shoes and hair.

Men will gab with women a lot.........often times to complain about the lack of good men's clothes in SL.  I'll let you fill in the other reasons.

Women will occasionally gab with men.............I sometimes wonder why because we can be so clueless at times.

Men rarely talk with men.   It's not considered manly to share your feelings with another man.  Unless you prefer men.

 

Disclaimer:  These are just general observations.  Your experience may vary depending on what kinds of things you like to do in SL, sexual orientation, etc, etc.  These are simply my own personal observations as a heterosexual male in SL.

[Sonja Smedley]

Hi Awynn!

Welcome to SL!

I´m a shy person too and I would be glad If we could get friends inworld.

So please IM me I´m there later.:-)

[Awynn]

Thanks, everybody!  I figured there may be shy people here, so I wasn't alone.  I'll be sure to look you guys up the next time I log in!

I'm not gay/lesbian but since I'm also not looking for romance, I thought talking with women would be a better choice.  I suppose I shouldn't make assumptions like that, though, and just try talking with whoever is there. 

[Wildcat Furse]

I am an assertive vagi-terian in real life and I roleplay a shy one in second life .... when do we meet????? :matte-motes-delicious: *meows*

[Hippie Bowman]

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Wildcat Furse wrote:

I am an

assertive

vagi-terian in real life and I roleplay a

shy

one in second life .... when do we meet????? :matte-motes-delicious: *meows*

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OMG Wildcat! I love your signature!  Far out!

 

Peace!

[Wildcat Furse]

WUFF WUFF ...................:matte-motes-big-grin: *meows*

[Poenald Palen]

Hey, wait...men...women? What is the point! Many people play other characters and not many have a chance to think of what you are or what you do based on who you are standing talking to for at least 2 reasons.

1. WHy? What is a profile for anyway! If your primary reason for being here is the finding RL members of the opposite sex, then you play your own sex and then advertise such in your profile! No need to mention what you are not I guess...people will assume and be done. Put what you want to attract. Into x hobby? put it in there! Like y music? try puttiing that there, and finding clubs that are into that! When people see a word in there they like, they might talk!

2. Another reason it might not work out is that there is a designated sex area. I imagine most wanting that go there. On a smaller scale, datinig websites or locations obviously would be for those who like those services and so on. So, you might have a hard time finding someone because the ones wanting exactly that, only that and nothing but that are maybe else where waiting for you to find that place to!

Search might help...but in general, people use lists fo freinds and find hang out places at times when there is activity. Many places in SL are empty, so it is not easy to just walk up to a place without first teleporting there. Why? Because if you roam around walking you will see empy places, people working on stuff, people already with freinds for a reason and so on. These people might be very unaproachable. But, find the neighbourhoods, find the places or groups and you might pick up a friend or two here and there each day! Before you know it, you will be deleting freinds and not wanting to add more! It gets confusing and I used to add people...seriously, they didn't remember me, couldn't be bothered to hang out because they had somewhere else or where extensions of a stalking going on lol. I have non now, but that is more due to the extension of RL issues. Seriously, there are lots of people and you don't have to give RL info and stay a bit ananymous and have freinds anyway if you want.

So, you are sort of looking at layers of friends and then you meet others and build a layered web of trust to find more..not need to fly around and talk to random strangers and sort of be bored! You see why many people are NOT around to talk to in public areas? They are to busy with thier 100+ friends list!

By layers I mean like...uh...Aquintences at locations, casual new freinds on your freinds list and then closer freinds might want to have you join groups they are in and might want more real life info if they use other online services and like it like that. Some might even be RL (oh, that means 'Real Life') freinds through a 'get together' that some residents create for thier geographic location!

[Ishtara Rothschild]

Most people find it strange and bothersome if somebody walks up to them in the streets or in a mall and starts a chat. SL is pretty much like RL in this regard, only that SL residents are even more likely to assume that you're trying to hit on them.

It's much easier to start or join a conversation in the many clubs and hangouts. And if you're looking for a romantic interlude, there are countless pickup places and meat markets, usually on adult land.

[Kasuga Hax]

I'm really shy in RL, but in SL it takes a bit of that fear away. It's a good thing I guess.

But I cannot proleplay someone else than myself. If i roleplay, or play SL at all, I'm always...me. I can't act at all. It bothers me sometimes.