Dresden Ceriano Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 My sexuality isn't the be all and end all of who I am as a person. And if I had said I was wanting to become a part of an acting group and walked in stating, as you said, "Hi I'm Dresden and I'm gay", you would definitely have a point. That would be a bit ridiculous and it's something I would never be prone to do. In that instance, it just wouldn't matter. But in this case, I don't see how it could possibly not matter... my OP was about my figuring out where I fit in within the gay community specifically, as well as the community at large. The truth is I usually feel more comfortable around straight people then I do around gay people most of the time. If only because I feel less conflicted by my wanting to be able to express myself through unusual clothing choices as opposed to my wanting to be attractive to the very people to which I am attracted. It's not something I would expect you to easily understand unless you've walked a mile in my shoes (and with the height of my heels sometimes, I'm not even sure I could do that... lol). ...Dres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dresden Ceriano Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 Void Singer wrote: sorry Dres, you seem little emo It's the eye shadow... lol. Seriously, point taken. As a child I was seriously overly sensitive, to the point that I would break down if I thought someone just looked at me wrong... my mother had a hell of a time with me. It's gotten immeasurably better over the years, but I suppose it still creeps in every now and then. My work continues. ...Dres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Void Singer Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 from someone with a similar past, I hear ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dresden Ceriano Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 I'm seriously wishing I hadn't have used that as an example in my OP. It didn't occur to be at the time that it would have the effect of side tracking what is actually at the heart of the issue for me and give the wrong impression of an otherwise very nice, decent guy. I'm starting to realize that the issue, as I've come to understand it better because of the feed back here, begins and ends with me, not anyone else. I have a sense of community here in the forum that I don't have inworld, and if I'm being honest with myself, the only difference between the two is my own level of participation. When I first started posting here, no one knew me, of course, and I felt like an outsider. Eventually, people got to know me, I got to know them, I started opening up and eventually started feeling like I fit in. Why I should think it would work any other way inworld is beyond me. What Jamie said to me about putting up a massive guard really struck a cord. I tend to be very shy around people I don't know, it takes me quite a while to come out of my shell. Which means I have to be willing to stick it out for a while within any group before I can really start joining in. If I can do that, I might be able to find a place to fit in, if I can't, I never will. Why this never occurred to me before, I don't know. I really need to stop thinking about now, and just do it. Thanks everyone for helping me open my eyes. ...Dres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 "These pix do not look gay to me. The second pic looks glam. There was a very popular glam club in L.A. around the turn of this century. Straight men, straight women, and the men made out like bandits in a treasury. Not all women are into lumberjack shirts. (Nothing wrong with those either.)" This just seemed so appropriate to this thread that I couldn't resist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpxQp3Hy5nk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayalily Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Okay Dres, just be careful. There are some abusers who want to try to suck you in, but then boom the abuse happens again. I'm just warning you to be careful and watchful. p.s. Dres if you want to handle this on your own now and don't want any further input, simply ask a moderator to lock your thread. An OP can have the thread locked that they started. So if this is too much for you now, just ask a mod to lock it for you if that's what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogboat Taurog Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Ceawlin Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in. - Janeane Garofalo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Ceawlin Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogboat Taurog Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 if you thought that video was trolling i think you made a mistake. it was quite relevant i thought. ETA. as you are an advisor whould you mind explaining why you thought i was trolling with that video? seemed like a knee jerk reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillie Woodells Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hi Dres, First of all big hug!! I wanted to respond as soon as I read your OP, but I waited and read through all the other comments first. I have seen what I originally was going to say repeated several times, and I know you have gotten that point already. Don't try to fit in. I will add this though... your friends, your real friends, they will fit to you. The harder you try, the more miserable you will be, I know that you already know this from past experience. You are always welcome to hang out or chat with me if you have nothing better to do and I'm online. It will take a lot of hard work and a lot of self examination for you to relax and just be Dres. The people that fit to you will make it worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I loved the Grumpy Old Troll video. I'll be hearing that song in my head now all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Ceawlin Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 If you thought that I was pointing out that any one post of yours was trolling, you're the one who has made the mistake. Consider it my own personal assessment of your own particular, limited, "repertoire." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venus Petrov Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Dres, Your style is your own. Revel in it, enjoy it. It makes you laugh; it makes you feel good. You are kind and help others here. Do not over-analyze things (I know. I sometimes do it, too.). /me smiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Levenque Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Dres, I didn't see this when it started, so it took me some time to read up to get current (even allowing for the fact I skimmed a bit). I'll answer the OP question first: You'll fit in anywhere there are people with brains. I've seen enough of your posts here to know that. The commentary you made after that requires a lot more thought and a lot more knowledge. My answer is 'Why the Hell are you asking me? Do I look like I have relationships figured out?" All I know is it's never easy. And it can be painful. And that even when you're right—when the person you wanted got it all wrong and should have never done what they did; when you were perfect—it doesn't mean a damn thing. You're still the one with the hurt. I'm pretty cautious about all of that. I'm old enough (and just shut up about Janis Joplin) to have learned some things about relationships. The one thing I do believe is that knowing the hurt might come shouldn't stop you from going on, if that's what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dresden Ceriano Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 Just wanted to thank everyone for your lovely replies. I'm feeling much better about things now, I believe it may have had a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't feeling very well physically and it had me a little down about myself. I'm better now and feel much better about myself and SL in general, funny how things like that can really effect your perspective. Special thanks to Deltango for the kudos... I eat them for breakfast... lol. Love you guys... Dres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malate Banufong Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Wow. I didnt read any of the rest of this stuff but the pics of your 2 outfits are bloody brilliant. Either would go down well in a Brit club. Well cool. :manvery-happy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dresden Ceriano Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Well thanks. :matte-motes-big-grin: The rest of this stuff is superfluous. ...Dres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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