Dresden Ceriano Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 It was hard to figure out where to put this post since it could easily fit into either one of the "Your Avatar", "Fashion" or "Lifestyles" forums, so I figured GD would be best.Anyway, when I was younger, I experimented a lot with extreme looks in RL... makeup and fishnets with army boots and leather jackets... things like that. In SL, I like to experimented a lot as well and I seem to run into the same problem. People (especially other gay guys) just don't understand.Seems like people want to put you into categories based on how you present yourself, and that is understandable.... to a point. It seems like, in the gay community anyway (though I'm sure the straight community shares some aspects of this), you are required to "dress the part". This makes me, sometimes feel boxed in.Let me illustrate what I'm talking about...(Macho enough, I suppose.)(Maybe not so much.)The other day I signed on and was getting dressed while I was IMing with the guy that I was sort of seeing. I told him I was glamming it up and he wanted me to TP him over so he could see. I wasn't wearing this particular outfit, but it was similar. When he got there and saw me, he "died laughing"... you know... that stupid gesture. It hurt my feelings and I told him so... the next day, he started avoiding me. Then, when I confronted him about it, he said he didn't want to see me anymore.Now, I'm not simple enough to place all the blame on him seeing me in that outfit (he did say nothing about that being the reason), but I can't help but let it cross my mind that it might have had something to do with it. Needless to say, I'm a bit selfconscious about it. Part of me wishes I could just say "**bleep** it, I don't give a **bleep**", but that's just not how I'm made up, I guess.I'm the type of person that can fit (but only to an certain extent) into different types of communities... where it usually goes haywire is when I try to get closer (even just being friends) with someone. Automatically, I think that I won't be excepted for the different aspects of who I am (which are very diverse and ultimately conflicting). At times I think I use this to keep myself from becoming involved with people. Part of me wants to; part of me is scared to... What if I let them down? What if they let me down? What if I'm ultimately not accepted? What if I am, then have to deal with the butt load of drama that just might ensue? See the conflict there? Making friends can be almost impossible when you put this much pressure on yourself and fear takes over. (I can't believe I'm revealing this much about myself here.)Sometimes I wonder why I even try staying in SL at this point... all of my good personal friends have basically, for all intents and purposes, left SL and I'm finding it harder and harder to make new ones. I don't think SL has changed as much as I have... perhaps I've grown cynical in my old SL age.Ultimately, I guess my question is... how do I resolve myself to the fact that I will probably never fit in, completely anyway, with any group, but at the same time, not be afraid to try?Thank you in advance for any and all advice....DresETA: Damn... forgot to give it a real subject... lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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