Unannounced (naked) visitor

[leyna1488303852]

The unnanounced visitor thing happened twice today to my partner.  We have a parcel in a residential adult sim where we each have a home. (because we both have so much fun creating and putting together our homes we decided to go with two - which is really beside the point)  

Earlier today he was working on a project when he heard his front door open and discovers a woman has let herself into his house and is walking up the stairs checking things out.  He said "hello", and no response, tried again to talk to her and nothing.  Eventually she TPd out.  

Just a few minutes ago, he TPd to our parcel and discovered a woman completely nude standing in my living room.  I realize this might be a dream come true for some guys, but the fact that she was unannouned and completely undressed took him by surprise and was a bit awkward for him.  I thought it was kinda funny myself.  

I don't mind that much if people pop in though I'd much prefer to invite them.  If they're respectful and don't linger if I tell I'm busy, it's okay.   I'm not sure I'd want to put a security orb on my place, part of it is open and doesn't have doors, and I like that open feel. (can I even use a security orb when I don't have doors?)  

I would however prefer people not pop in naked, yes the sim is rated adult, but at ground level it's all residential and it seems a bit presumptuous to assume that it's okay to hang out in someone's home uninvited and wearing nothing.

Maybe the fact that there's no security and on adult land tells people it's okay to come on in and strip?  What do you say to someone in a situation like this?  I wouldn't want to be rude unless it became necessary. 

[Dogboat Taurog]

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leyna wrote:

The unnanounced visitor thing happened twice today to my partner.  We have a parcel in a residential adult sim where we each have a home. (because we both have so much fun creating and putting together our homes we decided to go with two - which is really beside the point)  

Earlier today he was working on a project when he heard his front door open and discovers a woman has let herself into his house and is walking up the stairs checking things out.  He said "hello", and no response, tried again to talk to her and nothing.  Eventually she TPd out.  

Just a few minutes ago, he TPd to our parcel and discovered a woman completely nude standing in my living room.  I realize this might be a dream come true for some guys, but the fact that she was unannouned

and

 completely undressed took him by surprise and was a bit awkward for him.  I thought it was kinda funny myself.  

I don't mind that much if people pop in though I'd much prefer to invite them.  If they're respectful and don't linger if I tell I'm busy, it's okay.   I'm not sure I'd want to put a security orb on my place, part of it is open and doesn't have doors, and I like that open feel. (can I even use a security orb when I don't have doors?)  

I would however prefer people not pop in naked, yes the sim is rated adult, but at ground level it's all residential and it seems a bit presumptuous to assume that it's okay to hang out in someone's home uninvited and wearing nothing.

Maybe the fact that there's no security and on adult land tells people it's okay to come on in and strip?  What do you say to someone in a situation like this?  I wouldn't want to be rude unless it became necessary. 

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some people think its ok to do as they like on your land, i asked a few people why they thought they could do that,

they said SL isnt real etc.

i put a security orb on the land, no more uwanted visits.

[om Piers]

Another option, if you would rather not use the security scripts and if you only have this problem infrequently and with just a few people that are impolite, is to use your About Land access options to ban the individual.

 

[Sephy McCaw]

security orbs affect the entire parcel and they always have an option to set i time limit on how long the person may stay on your land before getting ejected, of course if your already on the land when they turn up you can manually eject them yourself.

In my opinion its personal preference to what you want to do, as you say your okay if they are respectful and dont stay very long. Also on the otherhand, they should have common sense to not just walk on your land without an invitation.

 

P.S. you could always set it to only group member can access the land.

[om Piers]

The disadvantage of setting land to group access only is that anyone who wanders near the edge of your property will see the ban lines, as will the people who own land adjacent.

By banning just an individual, only the offending individual will see the ban lines eye sore.

Security orbs are good, unless you are one that prefers to have a more open accessible property. As you say, however, it is a matter of preference. It is also a matter of circumstance. If uninvited visitors are a frequent problem, a security orb would be better I think.

 

[Jennifer Boyle]

I purposely leave my house open to the public.  Most of the time, I am not on SL.  Others may as well enjoy it when I'm not using it, since they cannot do any harm, unlike RL.  I have occasionally had someone wander in while I'm there.  When that happens, I greet them and tell them that they are welcome.  They often apologize for intruding; I tell them that if they were not welcome, they would not have access.  Several people I've met that way became friends.  Obviously, I think it is reasonable for people to assume that if they have access, they are welcome.  

Nudity does not bother me in SL because it's just pixels, not flesh, I guess.  I've been at home in the nude making some adjustment to my avatar when people wandered in; they were still welcome, as long as they did not interpret being welcome as an invitation to sexual activity.  I also an not offended by most others' nudity.  I would not be offended if I TPed to my house and found one or more nude avatars there.  I would be offended if one entered nude while I was there, particularly if it was one of those male avatars who wander about nude in readiness to impale whatever they encounter.  Entering the occupied house of a stranger in the nude seems to me to be either intentionally offensive or an example of a very misguided view of what constitutes attractive behavior.

I hate security orbs because, when I have accidentally trespassed, they often boot me before I can leave, particularly if it is laggy.  My neighbor has one.  I occasionally accidentally trespass, usually due to lag, and the #$@!&^ thing boots me before I can leave.  I would much rather have people use their parcel powers to just keep me out if I'm not welcome.  One way that parcel powers can be fine tuned is to subdivide the parcel, and just exclude the public from part of it, e.g., allow public access to the grounds, but not to the house.

My house is on Zindra, and There are dramatically fewer offensive, tumescent, nude male avatars than there were on the mature sim where I used to live.

[Rabid Cheetah]

These are just theories...

 

Why they were naked:  Perhaps they didn't strip when they got to your land.  Perhaps they were already naked whebn they got there.  It is, after all, the adult area.

 

Why they apperared on your land:  I've seen it happen to others, even had it happen to myself, where for one reason or another you're tp'd to some random place, and when you log in again, even after leaving, guess where you are -- right back at that spot.  Or perhaps they were clicking spots on the map, and tp'd in.  Or they had an old landmark for the fury love factory that was on your land fifteen owners ago.  No one can say for certain.

 

Why folks who land at your spot feel like they can stay:  Have you set the land to not allow folks to be there?  Then you are doing nothing to let folks know you don't want them there.  The software isn't sophisticated enough to let you set it to only allow people who don't tp in and are wearing clothes.  That said, it's wierd that she wouldn't talk to you.  Maybe there is a language barrier, or perhaps she was ttrying to type, but there was lag.  Or she thought her mic was on and was talking to you, and didn't know the mic was off (the opposite of leaving the mic on while whatching tv lol)

 

What to do:  It's up to you.  If it's no biggie, nevermind.  If it irks you enough, ban 'em.  If for some reason everybody and his brother starts showing up, ban everyone.  Or put something in the land description (though, sadly, not everyone reads these).  If your land is a mix of public and private, think about subdividing it, or putting up polite signs asking folks to remain in the public area.

[leyna1488303852]

Thanks so much for your replies.  Ban lines aren't allowed on this sim, which is fine by me.   We've only been there a month and this is the first that it's happened so it may be an isolated incident.  

I might have asked naked lady if she was she looking for someone, then tell her I was busy with a project and thanks for stopping by, have a fun rest of the day.  I have no problem being direct with people, so if she didn't take off I'd ask her to move along, then I'd have to ban her if she didn't go.  

We're not offended by nudity either, not at all.  But I'd still prefer people not hang out at our house naked, between the two of us in different time zones, we spend many hours a day on our parcel and we always are working on projects etc. Nudity can be destracting!   

I was kinda kidding about showing up and stripping

Good points about people not knowing whether they're welcome or not.  How are they suppose to know unless they're told right?  Especially since most folks have different feeings about this.  

I've had similar experiences of showing up on people's property unintentionally or accidentally,  but if they were there I've always let them know what was going on. 

I also don't want to keep people out necessarily, but if we end up deciding we need to do that, then the security orb might be the best option.  What I'd like is for people to be considerate, I like talking to considerate people and obviously I can't control that.    

[Persephone Emerald]

When I was renting out houses, I sometimes used a security orb - for my home & for a tenant. I always set it in the middle of the house with the range just to the edge of the house. Then I would set the secutity orb to allow group access & the partner & friends of the tenant. The people who wandered into houses uninvited were never group members, so I saw no reason to risk having another tenant be annoyed by a security orb warning. There are several security orbs on the market, & they don't have to be set to a parcel- wide range. I like to have mininal security generally, so the people can walk over my land & enjoy my landscaping. But having strangers pop into your house & bedroom gets annoying fast.  Once there was a couple riding my pet wolf-dog around, & that really pissed me off. I know she's not real, but I still find that insulting to the memory of my real wolf-dog to whom she's a tribute.

I don't know if it really keeps people out or not, but because my home is open to others walking into it, I've put up a "Private Residence" sign outside of our bedroom. This is because my boyfriend & I often dress here or sit & chat with each other.

[Jennifer Boyle]

You might consider locked doors.  While they are easy to circumvent, they do, unmistakably, tell people that they are not welcome to enter.  Another thought would be a notecard giver to tell people just what the boundaries are.

[leyna1488303852]

If my house wasn't so open and had doors instead of curtains, I'd definitely lock my doors.

I'm thinking that for us the security orb is the way to go and set it to give ample amount of time for the person to TP away.  I doubt that the majority of people are up to no good, but it could get annoying quickly as Persephone said.

I also like the idea of being able to set the range of the security to the perimeters of the house and to allow people to enjoy the landscaping if they want to.  

I can understand your feelings Persephone in regards to your pet wolf-dog, it doesn't matter if she's "real" or not.  Your feelings about it are real.  I'm ridiculously attached to my pixel kitty Sweet Pea.  He may be made of pixels, but he reminds me of cats I've had in the past and it's been so much fun having him around.   

I agree about things depending on how a person responds.  I've had some lovely conversations with people who have shown up on another parcel of mine. It didn't happen often but when it did it's been a nice experience.  

The notecard giver is something we could have fun with too.  

 

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

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leyna wrote:

The unnanounced visitor thing happened twice today to my partner.  We have a parcel in a residential adult sim

 

I would however prefer people not pop in naked, yes the sim is rated adult, but at ground level it's all residential and it seems a bit presumptuous to assume that it's okay to hang out in someone's home uninvited and wearing nothing.

 

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Your on A land. Nudity is the norm. Take off your clothes or move to M where nudity is merely ok, or G where its not allowed.

 

[leyna1488303852]

I definitely see your point Pussycat.

When I initially wrote this, it was bothering me that someone was inside my house naked and uninvited.  In writing more about it and particularly when reading what Persephone mentioned about people dropping in getting old quickly,  I think it's more about the uninvited people part, especially when they're  uncommunicative, and what then feels like awkwardness of wondering what they're up to.   

We love living where we do, we like the freedom to sunbathe nude if we wish to, and we do.  Surprisingly all but one of our neighbors are clothed anytime we see them.  It wouldn't bother us if they weren't, people pretty much live and let live on our sim and they don't walk into each others houses uninvited.  

There is PUHlenty of action happening in the club above our sim, but on the ground it's quite mellow. I imagine we can expect this quite a bit, and clothed or not we'd prefer people not come hang out inside our houses uninvited.  They can cam in to their little hearts content, but it's really our place to have time to ourselves. 

All of the above being the case, it probably seems odd that I'd mention the nudity thing in the first place.  Having had only a rare visitor in another parcel we lived in, first it was funny that there were two in one day, one being our first nekkie drop in, then we began thinking that if people dropping in is the norm it might be a good idea to find out how others feel about it and handle it.  

Thanks so much everyone, your feedback has been really helpful.  

 

[Pussycat Catnap]

Yes the uninvited people is why I keep my 'home' in the sky.

I've always built the homes of floating platforms, islands, rocks, etc - and left public builds at ground. It works a -LOT- better than banlines or a security orb.

People approach those as invitations to pry and snoop. But if you play sleight of hand with them - give them one card (the garden) while sliding the other up your sleeve (the house in the sky), they never pay attention to your 'real space' and get quickly bored with your garden. In fact I've had to often work to make my gardens more appealing or they were -too effective- at giving me more privacy than I wanted.

(on a mixed build, another effective trick is a shop that's boring - but that's only good if you reall want people to avoid the lot. Its the best card in the deck. People will go out of their way to avoid something that looks like it wants them there, but isn't sexy enough.)

 

[Kyoka Setsuko]

Ever since the sim I had my home at closed up, I have begun working in a sandbox.

To be honest, my home was on land owned by a friend, and generously provided for free. However, my friend was nearly never on SL for months at a time, and the manager in charge of the land was given no powers to even ban people from the land.

I was griefed really badly during that time by some guy who told me I should commit suicide, and who would constantly harass me. I ended up muting him (he is one of the only two people i have ever had to mute in SL). At whcih point, he began rezzing prim all over my build to block my access to it. Any time I TPed into the sim, he would see it on his radar and come over to harass me my trying to push me or place prim in my face to knock me around,  which he was able to do even when muted. In the end, I used the Select My Objects tool and returned my entire build to my inv and never went back

I filed two ARs (first for the harassment, and second for him blocking out my build), but so far as I know, LL to thsi day has done nothing, despite his harassment. I find it a bit absurd personally, but I am aware as far as the land goes, it was really up to the absentee land owner to have prevented this guy's build rights and/or banned him from the land.

Anyway. I do build currently in what I consider to be one ot the more aesthetically pleasing sandboxes in SL. It does have certain rules which are enforced by admin: 1) No weapons or griefer HUDs, 2) No large buildss, 3) No harassment/griefing of other members, etc. The rules are generally common sense things.

I do get n00bs and other people being nuisances. I've had No AO noobs run right into my builds and stare at them (because they probably have no idea how to cam so they have to be right up against it to see what I am doing). I find this extremely rude.

I also get people who interject into conversations I am having with others- absolute strangers who have no idea who we are, and will interrupt rudely without so much as a "hello" or self-introduction. I find these people alo really rude.

On the whole, however, it is generally somewhat peaceful (especially at certain hours of the night).

I have a similar story from a friend- she TPed into her mainland home to find someone stripping and pole-dancing in her home. When she banned them from the parcel, they proceeded to sit on the very edge of the parcel (right outside her doorstep because the parcels are so tightly cut) in the public area, and harassed my friend further- then acting indignant and haughty about being booted out. Really rude.

My suggestion to you, would be, since you seem interested in having an open-door policy, but don't really want nudity, etc. one or both of two things:

1) A simple texture sign (like that Private sign someone else posted) by the entrance or TP-in point with a list of simple rules, ie: "No Nudity, No Griefing" the way you see in most Sandboxes/other sims. Or that "Private" sign if you really don't want anyone uninvited entering.

2) These are annoying, but can be effective: a pop-up upon entering the sim/vicinity, or slightly less invasive: a message in Local Chat upon entering the sim, stating the rules.

To make these notices less annoying, have them only appear to users once, preferably.

To be honest, rules in sims are quite common (especially Sandboxes, Roleplay sims, Nightclubs and most other high-end sims). I don't see it as necessarily tacky, and it can help to maintain some sense of order and unity.

As further security, for more long-term members, you can put it in the land Covenant if you have access to editing that. I know I always look at Land Covenants when I TP in somewhere as they can have useful tidbits of info.

These suggestions allow for a simple statement of what's allowed/preferred without being super-invasive, and without banning certain people off the bat.

If you want to be a little stricter, the having an access list in your doors will prevent anyone from entering unless they sit-hack (box-sit or sit on furniture inside the house).

And even harsher would be simply maintaining a ban-list or a strict allow-list. It seems like overkill unless you are constantly plagued though.

[Vladi Hazelnut]

A security system would be one way to keep unwanted people away. And it doesn't matter if you have doors or not. Most of them you can set the distance so it doesn't have anything to do with prims. You could have an empty lot but set the perimeter to 20 meters or something and anyone that comes in that area will get booted.

The down side is they are pain in the ass if you have frequent visitors. You will either have to shut it off before someone comes to visit, or put them on a White List so they don't get booted.

You can aslo restrict acces through the land manager for that parcel. You can set it so only group members can come on, or set up a list of allowed people. And if you own the land you could make a seperate parcel just for your house or work area leaving the rest of the land public.

And if you own or manage the whole sim you can choose to make the entire region public or not and set up access lists.

As for the ban line thing, that makes no sense to me considering that is something you can control viewer side. If you don't want to see them, you just turn it off.

[Kolby Nissondorf]

Thats like some horror movie (stuff, pardon my language)

Good thing SL isnt Real!
LOL

[SassyOne]

 HAHAHAHA sorry couldnt resist

[Eileen Fellstein]

I generally like to keep my land open but the house private. I have tried locked doors. Those are worthless as they only keep the honest people out and those are the one's I would invite in! lol, easy enough to just object-sit past a locked door. Most intruders even ignored the scripted warning that I put in the door to stay out unless invited in. The range based secerity systems work well. I did go that route for a while but now I just ban the people that are disrespectful enough to persist when asked not to enter the house uninvited.

I generally don't feel I'm being rude to ask flat out, 'why did you just come inside my home?'. It's a fair enough question I think, lol. My homes have never resembled a public facility of any sort. I'm being gracious enough to keep the land open for them to cross and enjoy without annoying banlines.

Best thing is to keep a sense of humor as long as they aren't being over the top rude. Don't be a doormat though. I usually find it best to be clear before anything else. 'this is my home. I pay for the land. No, you cannot live here. If you'd like a home you need to purchase your own land.'. I have, on occasion given people who were polite a copy of the house as I built it myself.  Being as they need to buy or rent land to use it, it's a little like Daffy Duck yelling 'Hey bub, you need a house to go with this doorknob', but heh, it's a start I suppose

Another fun option is some sort of attack pet like a german sheppard. Certainly not foolproof and only short ranged (for like the area of a doorway) but they can nudge an avatar right off the parcel for you. I tested one on myself and had to have my partner shut it off as it knocked me offsim into a blank area of the grid and I was stuck, lol

[Dogboat Taurog]

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Eileen Fellstein wrote:

I generally like to keep my land open but the house private. I have tried locked doors. Those are worthless as they only keep the honest people out and those are the one's I would invite in! lol, easy enough to just object-sit past a locked door. Most intruders even ignored the scripted warning that I put in the door to stay out unless invited in. The range based secerity systems work well. I did go that route for a while but now I just ban the people that are disrespectful enough to persist when asked not to enter the house uninvited.

I generally don't feel I'm being rude to ask flat out, 'why did you just come inside my home?'. It's a fair enough question I think, lol. My homes have never resembled a public facility of any sort. I'm being gracious enough to keep the land open for them to cross and enjoy without annoying banlines.

Best thing is to keep a sense of humor as long as they aren't being over the top rude. Don't be a doormat though. I usually find it best to be clear before anything else. 'this is my home. I pay for the land. No, you cannot live here. If you'd like a home you need to purchase your own land.'. I have, on occasion given people who were polite a copy of the house as I built it myself.  Being as they need to buy or rent land to use it, it's a little like Daffy Duck yelling 'Hey bub, you need a house to go with this doorknob', but heh, it's a start I suppose

Another fun option is some sort of attack pet like a german sheppard. Certainly not foolproof and only short ranged (for like the area of a doorway) but they can nudge an avatar right off the parcel for you. I tested one on myself and had to have my partner shut it off as it knocked me offsim into a blank area of the grid and I was stuck, lol

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if you have the luxury of having land you can set to damage enabled, you might consider the use of an automatic  instant death laser.

just a thought.

ps, coincidentally,  i'm working on building an automatic instant death laser. :smileywink:

[leyna1488303852]

Omg that vid lol!  Now that's exactly the kind of uninvited visitor we'd love.  Running! .  

Thanks for the slight of hand tips Pussycat.  Yeah, we each have a sky platform as well and realize that putting our homes up there would likely be the most effective way to handle things. This is the first time we've put our homes on the ground.

We're going to do the security orb thing for our homes for now and keep the land open. We don't have visitors to this parcel really so it won't be a big deal with putting people on the list or whatever. We know it may not be the best solution overall, but we'll see what happens. 

Here's an update: 

Today my partner logs in to find our special visitor from yesterday (I'm over the naked thing) hanging out again, but this time she wasn't alone.  At the end of her leash and on his knees was her slave.  My partner says hello and asks if he can help her with something (depending on how she took that, it's kinda funny) and she says "No.  We're playing."  At least she was speaking today. 

He was being nice with her and also let her know that our parcel is our private residence and not a public area to play in. She wasn't so friendly. She said a couple of things and then something about how it's to be expected since we've given our land an Adult rating and then left. Her slave came back awhile later to apologize and to share how awful she is. Oy. Drama llama and really not my business.     

Only in SL right?  It gave us some perspective and we actually had a good laugh about it.

Eileen  - agreed, a sense of humor about things is always helpful, and being pleasant but direct is also important.  I think most people are not rude, I've run into very few rude people in SL, maybe this means I need to get out more. 

Plan B is to move into the sky if and when we've had enough.  If things continue at this rate it could be next week.  

[JoJo Moeleneaux]

I've had my fair share of visitors and usually they don't bother me but I find it quiet funny to see a nakkie guy drop in from the sky. On a few occasions I've been totally oblivious because I've busy changing my clothes or landscaping only to turn around to find some nakkie guy standing there, hands on hips, presenting himself in all his glory and I think to myself, geeze, not again lol.  The ones I've asked have told me they fell from a club in the sky or they don't know how they got there.  I sometimes inquire as to whether they know they're walking around with their frenis hanging out (me knowing full well that they do lol), some reply "Hi", some just tp away, some ask if I want to have some fun, I just laugh and tell them I'm busy and sometimes I point them in a direction where they can find the kind of fun they're seeking, a nakkie club up the road lol.

I don't have a problem with people dropping by or even using my home but I draw the line when they try to use my home while I'm there and totally ignore my im's.  Ban and eject can be useful, although, I've only felt the need to use it once. I often used to see an avi standing in my garden, sometimes for days, not moving, not responding to IM's. Eventually I just gently nudged him off my land behind a tree on neighboring abandoned land, he's probably still there lmao.

Once I fell from the sky (fully clothed lol) after I had tried to tp somewhere that must have moved or closed down, only to land on someone's platform in the sky where a couple were "having a moment". I was in a bit of a fluster, trying to find a way out, apologising profusely but before I got the chance to TP out the guy threw on an animation where he humped my leg while a silly song played. The girl laughed, I laughed, he laughed and I excused myself and tp'd home. 

Ultimately you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I prefer to laugh or ask them to leave if they're rude or disrespectful and that usually works for me. Eileen's attacking pet german sheppard would be good for a laugh, if the intruder was being a pest :smileyvery-happy: 

[Ceka Cianci]

somedays i just don't feel like wearing anything..sl is the best place to wander into strangers homes  just not saying anything ..

Not anything at alll!!1

hey is he about 6'3" blond hair and  brown eyes? =P

if not then i'm thinking of someplace else hehehehe

[leyna1488303852]

LOL!!   Nah, he's brown hair and dreamy green eyes, but you got the height right.  Maybe I'm missing out on some fun and should give this a try!   Any strangers have homes I can get naked and speechlessly wander into?  

Oh... no wait..... I just asked permission didn't I?  That kinda ruins it.  

[Josephina Bonetto]

Just so you know, my security system allows me to set my range via prim corner markers.  It is less obtrusive that way, it gives them chat and a blue menu and you can set the time of warning and set it to automatically boot it if they come back.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say its name but I don't get commission lol, Triple Labs, I have the Grid Wide System which is overkill for most residents. There are domestic versions.