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Moni Duettmann

What's wrong with men?

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i am not prying but intrigued........ you said your a guy who uses a female avi and dates guys........ do you tell the guys your dating your a male using a female avi or do you not actually tell them

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Storm Clarence wrote:

What happened to Moni, anyway?  

ETA: if she is not posting, I hope she is lurking and laughing.  

I am back! I haven't followed every day, but looking at the enormous amount of postings, I seem to have touched a string. 

 

 

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Moni Duettmann wrote:

I am back! I haven't followed every day, but looking at the enormous amount of postings, I seem to have touched a string. 

 

 

Moni, welcome back.  I thought it turned into a great thread.  I had some fun with it.  I'm glad (or hoped) you approached it with a good sense of humor. 

Did you find an answer to your question?  :matte-motes-bored:

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squashy Beeswing wrote:

Go to an info hub or some  other place where noobs gather.   Talk to a few and select the one who seems to have most potential.  Adopt him and make yourself his mentor.  Make yourself indispensable.  It's a steep learning curve but you're going to help him climb it.  Sort out his hair, skin and wardrobe.  Mould him.  Show him some decent places to visit and make sure that at least some of them have dance balls.  He'll have no choice but to dance with you if he's at all gracious and, which is more important, 
grateful
.  Emote a little and he will very likely follow suit.  The rest should follow naturally, as day follows night.

The question is:  Do you have what it takes to grab one of these untried, untested
innocents
before some other bitch ensnares him?

:matte-motes-inlove: LOL!      I Like


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Thermal Absent wrote:

 put some makeup on please

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You really think that's somethng nice to say to a girl? Needless to mention, I do wear make-up.

 

 

 

 

 

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Storm Clarence wrote:


Moni Duettmann wrote:

I am back! I haven't followed every day, but looking at the enormous amount of postings, I seem to have touched a string. 

 

 

Moni, welcome back.  I thought it turned into a great thread.  I had some fun with it.  I'm glad (or hoped) you approached it with a good sense of humor. 

Did you find an answer to your question?  :matte-motes-bored:

SL without a sense of humor - is that possible at all? I hope not! :-)  But seriously: That's a good point. I like people in SL and in RL, who have a good sense of humor, but can take things seriously on the other hand. Like being responsible and like not giving up until achieving a goal. Maybe that's extremely hard to find, not only among men.

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Pussycat Catnap wrote:

Remove your clothes, TP to a club in Zindra, get on the poseball that straps you to some weird device letting them "approach" from multiple "angles" - and you can meet at least... lets just say several... men at once.

 

:womanvery-happy:  Oh well, I guess I could achieve the same thing with a few alt-avis running simultaneously. That's not exactly what I meant. LOL. Maybe my problem is, that I can't strip my mind off. No, really... this may be exciting in RL, but in SL I need to talk to get into the mood. 

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Marigold Devin wrote:


StevesG wrote:

Hi Moni!

Please IM me. I am the man you have been looking for!!

 

Only if she is tall, is looking for a Gorean Master and she knows how to shoot a gun

 

 

Thanks for warning me, Marigold! I can shoot a gun, but don't qualify for the rest. I mean in RL my 1,85 would be quite tall, but in SL I seem rather average.

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99% of everything is squit for you. And I do mean everything. The clothes in the store, the films at the cinema, the people in the club. Please note, I said squit for you, not necessarily for everyone. Plenty of people look good in the clothes that make me look like a pregnant rhino, plenty of people like The Tree of Life (God knows why) and plenty of people have a fine old time getting off with men who don't turn me on.

The key is in finding that 1% that does do it for you, and I'm afraid that means a lot of patience and a lot of time. But heck, if you're prepared to put all that time and effort into it, seems sensible to me to put at least SOME of that investment into finding an old fashioned real life relationship which, though it may be imperfect and tough at times, is at least real, and the risk of getting some very very nasty and unexpected surprise about who they are is...lessened.

 

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Elisheva Sopwith wrote:

99% of everything is squit for you. And I do mean everything. The clothes in the store, the films at the cinema, the people in the club. Please note, I said squit
for you,
not necessarily for everyone. Plenty of people look good in the clothes that make me look like a pregnant rhino, plenty of people like The Tree of Life (God knows why) and plenty of people have a fine old time getting off with men who don't turn me on.

The key is in finding that 1% that does do it for you, and I'm afraid that means a lot of patience and a lot of time. But heck, if you're prepared to put all that time and effort into it, seems sensible to me to put at least SOME of that investment into finding an old fashioned real life relationship which, though it may be imperfect and tough at times, is at least real, and the risk of getting some very very nasty and unexpected surprise about who they are is...lessened.

 

I take this as a perfect final statement of this thread and thank everyone for giving their thoughts. I think I learned a lot! 

 

:matte-motes-kiss::womanvery-happy:

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In answer to the title of the OP: Nuthin'.

This is a fun thread. I hadn't seen it 'til today so I enjoyed reading all the comments and responses. I can't offer my own experience (I'll get to that) as a guage but from convos I've had with females I have always had the impression that NOT getting hit on is much more difficult than getting attention. I know some women who have their alts listed as partners on their profiles just to reduce the hitting. So I don't know why that isn't happening to you, Moni.

I don't get a lot of attention from men because I'm transgendered and that information is in the very first line of my profile. Now and then someone will start and it's usually pretty easy to tell whether or not he's read the profile; if I think he hasn't I mention it. This is normally followed by a quiet period, then an 'Ooops'. I don't have a problem with that; I expect it. If I do feel the need for interest from men their are plenty of places I can go frequented by men interested in my type of gurl.

Having said that, one of the most enjoyable times I ever had in SL was a result of a random hit. I was shopping for hair for a party that night; a man said, "Crossdresser or not, that's a very attractive avi". I sort of brushed him off because I was trying to figure out how to demo a hairstyle, but it turned out he knew how to do that and wound up helping me try on hairdo's for about half an hour. It was tons of fun. He'd say things like, "Maybe a ponytail? It would show off your face without accentuating your shoulders." (mine are a little broad for a broad). I was smiling in RL the entire time. He may be an alt; he's hardly ever on but we do talk now and then and I've danced with him a couple of times. I suppose 'he' might even be a male alt of a female; he did seem to know a lot about hair ;-). Didn't matter at the time and really still doesn't. It was just a lot of fun.

I think I only responded so I could post the above paragraph :-). Have fun, Moni. I do think getting a boat should help a lot.:smileyvery-happy:

 

ETA: If I hadn't been interrupted while I was typing my post I could have gotten it in before Moni ended the thread. Oh well. RL does so get in the way sometimes.

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He was gay sweety... LOL!!!!

...Dres

P.S. Regardless of whether the OP has officially ended the thread or not, you are right, it has been fun, and should continue until it is no longer... just my opinion. :matte-motes-grin:

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Moni Duettmann wrote:

I am close to celebrating my fifth SL birthday soon and I consider myself an open, intelligent, friendly and good-looking person
(well, someone else should make that last statement, I know! :-))
, but believe me: in all those 5 years I have never met a man who seriously had tried to seduce me. I'm not talking about weirdos jumping into the scene and offering instant f.... I mean decent, romantic, witty, nice, but determined approaches with a goal - to get me laid, or perhaps to start a relationship. Mostly men seem to be content with hearing (reading) themselves talk or, in the vast majority, they don't even try to talk to me, or tge conversations ends after 2 and a half sentences. When interested I always try to steer the conversation into the desired sweet sexy romantic direction,  but the men don't seem to "get it". Are they too shy? Are they not interested? Am I not explicit enough (but where is romanticism)? I have been approached by women several times and out of curiosity and lack of men even started a few relationships. But still... I don't get it... Isn't SL the Eldorado for virtual sex? But where is it? Where are the lady killers?

Fun post.  You got a lot of responses already and I had multiple responses pop into my head too just reading your OP.

 

First off, I see you say you want either sex or a relationship.  I think your first-mentioned goal, which appears to be a witty, adult, sexy, romantic, fun seduction for sex is a completely understandable one.  It's also a very, very tall, but not impossible order.

Your second-mentioned goal appears to be a witty, adult, sexy, romantic, fun seduction for a relationship.  Also a tall, but not impossible order, although this one is even more complicated.

So breaking it down:

 

Yes

Seduced for romantic sex

Seduced for relationship

Decent, romantic, witty, nice, confident, skilled, determined, assertive

Good listeners

Lady killers

Sometimes women

 

No

Wanna**bleep**er sex

Base down-and-dirty quickies

Weirdos

Transmit-only talkers

Shy, insecure, undecided, noncommital

 

A couple of the things you don't say, though vital to this discussion in a virtual environment is...

 

First off, what level of importance do you give to the real-life status of the men in Second Life?  I say this because in my experience, which is not some all-encompassing truth, many men in Second Life, particularly mature ones who have some game, have a real-life wife or girlfriend and a Second Life wife or girlfriend and a bunch of Second Life friends with benefits and places they go trawling for snacks and quickies or some combination thereof, and many of the men who are decent, romantic, witty, nice, confident, skilled, determined, assertive or some combination thereof, are often men with, at a minimum, a real-life wife.  So I don't know if the man's real-life relationship status is an issue for you or not.

 

Also, considering how very, very tall your order is, you don't really say a whole lot about what you are doing.  Where do you go?  Where are you looking?  What do you do?

 

I have met some men who were seductive, men who might have appealed to you.  Which is actually ironic, because I tend to go into Second Life for one of two things and in one of two mindsets.  1.  Wanna**bleep**er sex.  2.  Sexless fun with friends or on my own exploring.  I don't go into Second Life for wine and dine romance and potential relationships.  

 

That said, I do end up meeting seductive, charming men who want one or the other or both (romantic sex and romantic relationships) and try to slow me down and get my mind off a dirty quickie or off the exploration of another sim for a blog post.

 

Here's where I have met the seductive men who can hold a good conversation and make a move.

 

1.  Lar's Place.  It's a bar for older men and young women, but it got so popular (older men are like diamonds and catnip in SL) that younger men started going there because that's where all the women were.

 

2.  Third-party SL and virtual world forums like gV, SC MKII, SLU, RLetc, Utherforums, etc.  I've met some charming and articulate and funny men on forums and the friendship has carried over into SL inworld (and sometimes the real world).

 

3.  Voice clubs.  (I know that one is sticky, because voice is controversial and not for everyone, but this is a list of where I have met men who are anywhere near like your description and this is where and how I met many of them.  I met one particularly charming man because he was telling stories and jokes in voice and I could hear him and "got him" and I  shot him some funny and appreciative IMs and the next thing I knew he'd swept me off my feet and we were ballroom dancing and I was swooning.)

 

4.  Introductions from friends.  I also return the favor.

 

5.  A furry bar.  (I was there as a curious human initially.  Total fish out of water, but open and curious.  I return because there are some nice and intelligent people there.  Many of the furry men I've met tend to favor a kind of old world solicitous affectation that can be quite charming.  My apologies to any furries who might be offended by that description.)

 

6.  One of the most charming men I've ever met in Second Life (dancing, conversation, dedictated a song to me, serenaded me) I met by accident when I wandered into a BDSM club in the middle of a mall.

 

7.  Sex sims.  Yeah, sometimes the charming and intelligent guys go there for quickies and you strike a conversation and then next thing you know you've been talking for two hours.

 

8.  Dance clubs.  Sweethearts Jazz, Bogarts, New York Ballroom, places like that. 

 

I have found that my own journey, if you will, in Second Life has been one of trial-and-error and distillation.  I know what I want and I am a student of how to get it and I'm pretty good at it now.  But it can be quite a bit of work.

 

I've actually posted and blogged a lot about my experience as a cybersexer in Second Life and the Utherverse.  If you're at all curious, check it out here:  http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/.

 

After five years, I would think you either need to give it up (the two goals) or make some serious changes.  But then I guess that's why you started this thread.

 

Good luck.

 

And if some guy IMs you out of the blue and says he's a friend of Lee...say hello and be nice to him, will ya?   ;)

 

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  Another wall o'text tsunami of tl:dr from Lee.  Hey.  I don't post that often in here anymore.   I save it up.  And the topic is relevant to my interests.   ;)

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Wasn't a wall of text. I hadn't read it; just did. I too thought this a fun thread and saw your last in my inbox. I enjoyed  your post. I lack your experience (to say nothing of your opportunities :smileywink:) but what experiences in that area I have had matched pretty well.

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Moni Duettmann wrote:

I am close to celebrating my fifth SL birthday soon and I consider myself an open, intelligent, friendly and good-looking person
(well, someone else should make that last statement, I know! :-))
, but believe me: in all those 5 years I have never met a man who seriously had tried to seduce me. I'm not talking about weirdos jumping into the scene and offering instant f.... I mean decent, romantic, witty, nice, but determined approaches with a goal - to get me laid, or perhaps to start a relationship. Mostly men seem to be content with hearing (reading) themselves talk or, in the vast majority, they don't even try to talk to me, or tge conversations ends after 2 and a half sentences. When interested I always try to steer the conversation into the desired sweet sexy romantic direction,  but the men don't seem to "get it". Are they too shy? Are they not interested? Am I not explicit enough (but where is romanticism)? I have been approached by women several times and out of curiosity and lack of men even started a few relationships. But still... I don't get it... Isn't SL the Eldorado for virtual sex? But where is it? Where are the lady killers?

Many are married and in SL looking for a quick...fill in the blank.

Few are here for romance. Do you want a RL or a SL romance?

You might find someone to roleplay the latter with you. It may or may not be a RL male or anyone you'd want in real life. Would that matter to you?

I don't know. Are there dating agencies in SL? Don't go to those ballroom dance places. Well this was years ago when I first joined but I quickly shook the dust off my feet with those - and I only wanted to dance.

It's hard to tell from your post what you want, though. You said you don't want a quickie but then you ask where is the virtual sex. Maybe you are giving out mixed signals in SL also. Or your profile.

Try looking for some roleplay groups that fit your interests whatever those are.

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I had a thought. It is your name that is the problem. What man would choose to have any sort of relationship with a woman who admits she is moany. I checked with my male friends and that is the ultimate turnoff. Even on a subconscious level it will not work unless you want someone who has a peculiar brand of masochism.

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You mean to tell me straight men don't like a woman that moans?  Wow, this thread is just so enlightening.

...Dres (Maybe she should change her name to Beery or Footballia.)

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Dresden Ceriano wrote:

You mean to tell me straight men don't like a woman that moans?  Wow, this thread is just so enlightening.

...Dres (Maybe she should change her name to Beery or Footballia.)

It could be worse she could be called Whinger. As long as she doesn't change her name to Queenie which might give off mixed messages.

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